GEO. A. PRINCE & CO., 
Organs & Mclodcons 
SPARKS AND SPLINTERS, 
Said the teacher to Ann*: “ 1 wish, if you can, 
You would give a more definite answer.” 
And Ann at once said, with a toss of her head . 
•* I do just the best that J can, sir! 
But why should 1 try? do please tell me why 
(I think it's no use—not a particle). 
For I here every day I he grammar-class say 
That An’s an in -definite article ! ” 
A tea Bet—The Chinese. 
The Evening Post—The lamp post. 
Mem who cm cut aBhlne—Cluziers. 
Light wines may make a heavy head. 
Domestic 11 sauce ” is kept in family jars. 
A beli.iceKent sailor has been arrested for a 
salt. 
The best wrestlers may he thrown by a gin- 
sling. 
CnAiitS should not be covered with silk, but 
sat-in. 
Question for florists—I s not a rich mandarin 
a China Astor’/ 
To kill time—Take a horse and sleigh it.— 
[Lowell Courier.] 
N ever give a bud name to au innocent crea¬ 
ture not even to a baby. 
Tkocbi.es are like dogs, the smaller they are 
the more they annoy you. 
They accuse a Milwaukee coroner of cutting 
holes in the ice to entrap the unwary skater. 
A phieOSOPhek baa discovered that men 
don’t object to bo overrated, except by assess¬ 
ors. 
The new mining district at Coso, California, 
is in good odor; that is ► say they smel’t 
there. 
“ Pur yourself in liis place,” is what a chari¬ 
table man asks for Stokes; but no one likes 
the place. 
“Is that cheese rich I "asked liioss of ids 
grocer. " Ves there’s millions in it," was the 
candid repiy. 
Mu. Wallace succeeds Senator Scott, of 
Pennsylvania. He is one of these Scotts wha 
ha’owl’Wallace bled." 
A Chicago shirt-dealer has given upcoaxklng 
and bullying the public, aud dlspalrlngly 
announces a plaenrd, “ Buy, or 1 will bust." 
They don’t make much udo about 0 in L.m* 
caster, N. H„ but when It comes to UU below,we 
should think much adieu would be in order 
there. 
A little girl, upon her return from a 
children’s party, being asked if she had a good 
time, replied “Yes, but there wasn’t much 
boys tfiiere.” 
Anohew Jackson was accused of had spell¬ 
ing, but John Randolph defended him by de¬ 
claring that “ a man must bo a fool who could 
not spell words more ways than one." 
A Kentucky paper endeavors to pay a deli¬ 
cate compliment to a favorite actress by call¬ 
ing her “ a sweet little red-haired chandelier 
kicker." 
A young man charged with being lazy was 
asked it he took it from his father, “ I think 
not," was the reply. “ Father's got all the lazi¬ 
ness he ever had." 
“ Now George you must divide the cake 
honorably with your brother Charles.” “ What 
Is honorably mother/" “It means that you 
must give him the largest piece.” “Then 
mother. I'd rather Charley should divide It.” 
The other evening we overheard a married 
man slowly and sadly repeating the following: 
" O, solitude I Where un* the charms 
That sages have neon in thy fare t 
Better dwell in the midst of alarms 
Than to reign in this horrible place." 
Subsequent Inquiry has revealed the fact that 
that man’s family had left him alone, and he 
was ; soliloquizing over the matter. Keeping 
bachelor’s hall must be rather dreary in the 
winter. 
The Oldest, Largest and Most Perfect Manufactory 
in the United States. 
Now in nse. 
No other Musical Instrument ever obtained the 
same Popularity. 
V3T Send for Price-Lists. 
Address BUFFALO, N. Y, 
Rare and Beautiful Flowers 
and Choice Vegetables 
CAN ALWAYS BK OBTAINED BY SOWING 
SMART BOY. 
Farmer —“ Hello, sonny, what yer been shootin’ ?” 
Sharp RhhUo —‘'Why,'powder and shot, of course 
TWO NEW .TOMATOES. 
THE CONQUEROR. 
Ten days earlier than any oilier va¬ 
riety known. 
Prof, Thurber. tho well known editor of the Agri¬ 
culturist, thus describes it. 
"I had over a dozen varieties, including this, 
among which were several novelties, us well n» 
those accepted as standard varieties. All were 
treated precisely alike, from the time of sowing to 
that of {Tuning. I think it a moderate statement 
to say 1 hot the Conqueror w» - ten dj yn earlier than 
any other In the garden. By curliness I do not 
refer to the ripeningul a single specimen, forthe 
Conqueror ripened one irnlt iistonlflDlnglv early, but 
I mean that the vines of tins would afford n good 
table supply at lean ten days before those ct any 
other variety. 1 would also add, that In color. Shape 
and quality, this variety was highly satisfactory. 
Price 25 el s per pink t; fi packet'a ft On. 
THE OOinEN TROI'IlY, 
a sport of the well known Trophy—and its counter¬ 
part in shape, size, and general appearance, of a 
rich, golden yellow color, a valuable acquisition. 
25ots. per packet; 6 packets,$1 00. 
This Popular Journal, long tbe Standard in its Sphere, entered upon its Twenty-Sixth Year 
( and second Quarter of a Century/ January 2nd, under such auspices as will enable its Founder and 
Conductor and his A*i,. elates to minlfost more fully than ever before the true spirit of its glorious 
Motto, “ Excelsior," and laudable Objects, " Prog reus and Improvement." The constant aim will be to 
mon than null retain it- well-earned position as the 
On all subjects pertalnimi to Agriculture, Horticulture, Domestic Affairs, and kindred topics, Moonz’S 
Rural has been the HEi ooNi/.i i* authority ror a score of years, during which it lias become the 
Leading and Largest. Circulating Rural, Literary and Family Weekly on the Continent, 'lo sus¬ 
tain and augment this pre-eminence neither labor nor expense will be spared, but. every proper otlort put 
forth to furnish a Model Paper roil the Rural Population— one especially adapted to the wants of 
THIS FARMER, THE HORTICULTURIST, 
THE STOCK GROWER, THE DAIRYMAN, 
THE HOUSEWIFE, THE GARDENER, die. 
But in addition to its attention to Practical Affairs, the Rural is not unmindful of the Faintly 
Circle, for it devotes several pages of ouch number to Choice and High Toned Literary anil Miscellaneous 
Heading, adapted to both sexes and ali ages. This feature has given it u high reputation, all over the land, 
THE Twentieth AuniiaI Edition of our cele¬ 
brated Seed Ciitalugue Anti Vmnteur** Guide 
to the Flower and Kitchen Gnrdctt, columns 
about 200 pages, Including several hundred finely 
executed engravings of favnrltn flowers and veget¬ 
ables- nnd • bcnutifcilly colored lithograph, is 
now In press, and will he mailed Lo all applicants 
upon receipt of 25 ecniH. An edition elegantly 
bound In cloth !*1 00. 
BLISS’S GARDENER'S ALMANAC and 
Abridged Catalogue. Illustrated, contains up¬ 
wards of 100pages,iind embraces a Monthly Calendar 
of Operations and a price-list of all the leading 
Garden, Field, and Flower Seeds, with brief 
directions for tlielr culture. A copy will be mailed 
to all applicants inclosing two throe-cent stamps. 
B. K. BlnISS & SONS, 
31 Bnrclny Street, 
P. O. Box 5? 12. New York City. 
AS A LITERARY AND FAMILY PAPER 
need not be told that the old original 
(CIRCULAR.) 
(ousumers Importing Tea €©., 
No. 8 CUurch Street. 
P. O. Box 5,509. New York City. 
This Is a combination of capitalists to supply the 
consumers of Teas throughout the United States on 
the mutual principle. 
We have experienced agents in all the best dis¬ 
tricts of China and Japan to select Teas especially 
for our trade. 
Wc expect every consumer of Teas to render us all 
the assistance they can in carrying out our enter¬ 
prise, as we make a specialty of SUPPLYING CON¬ 
SUMERS ON LY (and allow no middlemen to make 
any profit on our importations), which will enable 
us to supply them With Teas at prices lower than 
have ever beeu known, and of those tine qualities 
-hi t seldom reach the interior, being sold only to 
t he large cities and among the very wealthy. 
Hoping the consumer will take un interest in our 
enterprise, and send at once for a circular with full 
explanations of how to proceed to obtain our goods, 
we remain. 
Most respectfully yours, 
Fonsumers Importing Tea Co., 
No. 8 Church 8t„ 
P. O. Box 5,509. New York City. 
Entered, according to Act of Congress, in January, 
1H?J, by the Consumers Importing Tea Co., in the 
Qfflceof the Librarian of Congress, W uihington, D.C 
maintains the same splendid reputation which was 
freely accorded to It when first presented for criti¬ 
cism at the 
Paris Exposition of 1867. 
All who have tried this most simple, capable and 
durable 
ENGRAVING 
DEPARTMENT!!! 
CHEESE FACTORY 
and Creamer* Apparatus. 
All Dairymen In need of any kind of Machinery, 
Utensils or Furnishing Goods, In the above line, 
should send for our new Illustrated Circular and 
Price List, which gives full information regarding 
all modern Improvements. 
CHARLES MILLAR & BON, Utica, N. Y. 
We will make esti¬ 
mates upon all kinds of 
endorse the merit claimed for it by the manufact¬ 
urers. 
All classes of people, and every variety of stitch¬ 
ing, bear witness that it has no equal. 
The Awards at Vienna in 1873 
to the Weed Sewing Maeliiue Company surpassed 
those to uuy other exhibitor of Sewing Muchines. 
The PntrouBol Ilusbamlryandthe Sovereigns 
of | ndnstry arc among our staunchest, friends. 
No one can afford lo buy a Sewing Machine with¬ 
out first examining The Favorites. 
Manufactory at Hartford. Conn. 
Wood Engraving, and 
if onr superior facilities 
don’t enable ns to give 
better work for less 
money than any other 
establishment in the 
country, we don’t want 
the work. 
GREAT REDUCTION. 
TEAS AND COFFEES 
AT WHOLESALE PRICES. 
vucreaaed Facilities to Club Organizers. 
Seud for New Price List. 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA CO. 
P. 0. Box 5643. Si & 83 Vesey St., New York 
PRESSED TIN-WARE. 
buy no Tin-trace without 
this Stamp. It is the best. 
IKON CLAD CAN CO., 
23 Clift Sn, New York. 
fxcelsioflto Yonr 0 ,ni Printing 
40 Press for cards, labels, envelopes 
Portable $9 
elc. Larger sizes forlarge work. 
B us 1 ness M en do t hei r prill I itig and 
advertising, save money und increase 
trade. Amateur Printing, delight 
fulpastime for spare hours. BOYS 
have great fun and make money fast 
tttprmting. Send two eta® pH for full 
catalogue presses type etc, to the Mfra 
KELSEY & CO, Meriden, Conn. 
79more young men to learn 1 tele¬ 
graphy. Good situations guaran¬ 
teed, Address, with stamp, 
Supt. U. T. Co., Oberfin, O. 
Our New Premium List, Illustrated, together 
with show-bill, specimens, etc,, sent free and pre¬ 
paid to all disposed to form clubs ", r the RURAL. 
