FEB, 27 
tSftit and .inunor. 
SPARKS AND SPLINTER8. 
A rare flower—The pink of politeness. 
Burning words—A dictionary in flames. 
A MOUNTAINOUS event -Andes election. 
How to make money go far—give it to the 
foreign missions. 
Look out for Mercury. He is up In the sky, 
and down on the earth. 
Why is a side-saddle like a four-quart jug? 
Because it holds a gall-on. 
Somebody has discovered that one cannot 
rise in woman’s estimation by stares. 
A Cincinnati pork-dealer proposes to fur¬ 
nish the world with his ought-to-buy-hog- 
raphy. 
The Forty-third Congress will pass one of the 
best things of Its sessions shortly—pass out of, 
existence. 
Why is the end of a fish’s tail like the Prince j 
Imperial of France? Because it Is the last of 
the hony-parts. 
Here Is a new'Idea of the Christinas stock¬ 
ing. The boy says “he set it, but it didn’t 
catcb anything." 
“Come out here and T’ll lick the whole of 
you," said an urchin to some sticks of pepper¬ 
mint in a confectioner’s window. 
An auctioneer once advertised a lot of 
chairs, which, he said, ihatl been “ used by 
school children without any backs.” 
Jenkins says lie discovered what a “polar 
wave ” was one Monday, when Mrs. J. helped 
him out of the back yard with a clothes pole. 
“Now, papa, what is humbug ?’* “It Is,” 
replied papa, “when rna pretends to be very 
fond of ma and puts no buttons mi my shirt." 
Only three guests were bid, and thirteen crowd the 
hall: 
Pour water in the soup, and bid them welcome all. 
Mr. Mutton, of Oshkosh, has a complaint 
against a railroad company for being put off at 
the wrong station. Mutton, suet, why don’t 
you? 
Nothing will sooner tempt a bachelor to 
abandon bis resolution to marry than to sleep 
In the adjoining room to a couple with a colicy 
baby. 
A Chicago grocer made 11,874 by adding the 
date 1874 up with the figures In his cash 
book. It took three book-keepers to find 
the mistake. 
Ninety-nine men out of one hundred would 
rather face a mother-in-law in the hall at 'l 
o’clock, than to climb into a dentist chair for 
five minutes. 
»Ti8 naught when woman buiubugs man, 
For that's the good old style: 
But, oh. man’s confidence in man 
Makes countless thousands stnlie. 
Barnum has succeeded in obtaining many 
rare and valuable curiosities, but there's one 
thing be never yet exhibited A politician’s 
chin In repose. 
An Indianapolis father shot six times at a 
supposed burglar, and was astonished to hear 
the fellow ask, “ Wazzer rnazzer, lazzer? 
wazzer doing?" 
“John, l am afraid you have been forgetting 
me,” said a bright-eyed girl to her sweetheart 
the other day. “ Yes, Sue, I have been for get¬ 
ting you these two years.” 
Nevada ice dealers are already preparing to 
double their prices next summer, upon the 
ground that the crop will be almost entirely 
eaten up by the grasshoppers. 
A YOUNG lady asking a young man in a music 
store, “ Have you Hnppv Dreams ?” wasastou- 
lshed when he replied. “ No, ma'am I’m most¬ 
ly troubled with the nightmare." 
Three Chicago girls are about opening a 
barber's shop. One is to do the lathering, 
another the shaving, while a third Is to sit on a 
sort of a throne and play on a harp. 
“So you take lessons In drawing, Sallie?" 
“ Yes, and the teacher says I'm an apt pupil, as 
1 draw more inferences. Insinuations, admirers 
and allowance than any other girl in the 
academy." 
Miss Bancroft, the young lady who was 
lately married to Count Tziecuzkst, has now 
got a name which is the nearest approach to 
the phonetic spelling of a sneeze that has yet 
been made. 
A bad litt le boy rubbed cayenne pepper dust 
all over the back of his jacket. The school 
ma'am thrashed him briskly, but dismissed 
school immediately to run to the nearest drug 
store for eyewater. 
If anybody still doubts that story about 
Putnam riding down theatone steps he can call 
on Mrs. Perry, <<r Paris, Ky., who has the 
Identical waistcoat In which lie did It. 
ApoetrI. Hickman, Ky., thus describes the 
girl he adores : 
The glance of her eye is blue ruin, 
Her blush Is the blood of the vine. 
Tier pout Is a punch tn whose brewing 
Tart, sugar and spirit combine. 
“ Biddy," said a lady, “ step over and see how 
old Mrs. Jones is this morning." In a few 
minutes Biddy returned with the information 
that Mrs. Jones was seventy-two years, seven 
months and two days old that morning. 
r-a\ / to 
H f! J v 
a 
TREES, Etc. 
We offer for SPRING, an unusually 
large slock of well-grown, thrifty 
standard and Dwarf Krult Trees: 
Crape Vine*. Small Frilllsi 
Ornamental Trees, Shrubs, Roses; 
New and Kure Frail mid Ornameiitul Trees; 
Evergreens mid Bulbous Roots | 
New unit lime Green end lltu-liouse Pin tits. 
Small parctlt forward*d by mail when desired. 
PROMPT ATTENTION CIVEN TO ALL INQUIRIES. 
Dncriptive and I Hunt rated Priced Catalogues tent, 
prepaid, on receipt of stamps, a« follows: 
No. I— Fruit*. lOe. No.li—Ornamental Trees,! Oc. 
No. 3 -Green-house. 1 Oc, No. 4—Wholesale, Free. 
Established 1840. ELLWANGER & BARRY, 
Mount Hope Nurseries, ROCHESTER, N. Y. 
T -m. 
_ _ . 
RESULT OF DISOBEDIENCE. 
(1.) Takes baby brother out for a walk after being forbidden by mamma. 
(2.) Sees the circus up the street and starts to run and see it with the above result 
(3.) Mamma comes to the rescue, and Jennie is led home in disgrace. 
(4.) And sent to bed without her supper. 
MOORES R URA L—18751 
This Popular Journal, long the Standard in Its Sphere, entered upon its Twenty-Sixth \eaii 
( and second Quarter of a Century) January 2nd, under such auspices as will enable ns l ounder and 
Conductor and his Associates to manifest more fully than ever before the true spirit of its plorioun 
Motto, "Excelsior,” and laudable Objects, " Progress ami Improvement." The constant aim will be to 
more than maintain Its well-earned position as the 
GEO. A. PRINCE & CO., 
Organs & Mel oil eons. 
The Oldest, Largest and Most Perfect Manufactory 
in the United States. 
54,000 
Now In use. 
No other Musical Instrument ever obtained the 
same Popularity. 
£JV Send for Price-Lists. 
Address BUFFALO, N. Y. 
VIRGINIA FARMS AND LANDS 
FOn SALE. 
We have a large number of very One Agricultural, 
Mineral and Wood Lands for sale. In the State of 
Virginia, at figure* greatly below their real value. 
Address, for particulars. GEO. C. WEDDEltBURN 
& CO.. Second National Bunk. Washington, D. C. 
FARM FOR SALE. 
181# acre* of superb land. Ik tulles from P. O., In 
the beautl/ul city of Monroe, Mich. The buildings 
and fences are unworthy the location—It being one 
cif the most beautiful iu the suburbs of any city. The 
tiact is mostly in wood pasture. Price f-b an acre, 
on easy term* of payment. Apply to LUCE & LAN- 
1JON, of Monroe, or to the Snb.-eriber at Ann Arbor, 
Michigan. ISRAEL HALL. 
BEST WEEKLY OF ITS CLASS! THE PUBLIC 
On ul] subjects pertaining to Agriculture, Horticulture, Domestic Affairs, and kindred topics, Moore’s 
rural lias been the Uf.cckjnizku authority for u score or years, during which it has become the 
Leading and Largest Circulating RURAL, LITRUAUY mid FAMILY WEEKLY on the Continent, io sus¬ 
tain and augment this pre-eminence neither labor nor expend.' will be spared, but every proper effoit put 
forth to furnish n Model Paper FOB the Rural I*OPULATiON-onft especially adapted to the wants ol 
TUB PARMER, THE HORTICULTURIST, 
THE STOCK GROWER, THE DAIRYMAN, 
THE HOUSEWIFE, THE GARDENER, &c. 
But in addition to its attention to Practical Affairs, the BUBAL is not unmindful of the Family 
Circle, for it devotes several pages of each number to Choice and High Toned Li'miry and Miscellaneous 
Heading, adapted to both sexes and all ages. This feature has given it u high reputation, all over the land, 
need not be told that the old original 
Family Favorite 
maintains the same splendid reputation which was 
freely accorded to it when first presented for criti¬ 
cism at the 
Paris Exposition of 1867. 
All who have tried this most simple, capable and 
giurable 
ASA LITERARY AND FAMILY PAPER . sewing machine, 
The morul tone of Moore’s Rural has always been pure und unexceptionable, wh lie its value as 
an Kducator I* worth many times its cost to any family. During l*T:i special effort will be made ° 
render the whole paper brtohthb and butter than kvrh before, so that Its old friends shall be 
proud of it and thousands of new ones become Its ardent admirers. 
TIIK BUUAL’8 ILLUSTRATION!"! will continue to bo Appropriate, Varied and Beautiful. 
Indeed, our object Is to Tender tho paper exceptionally Valuable und Acceptable In nil Its Departments. 
Its Reports of Market*, Crops, Btc., are alone worth double the print* of the RURAL. 
Koch Number of the Rural NEW-YoKKKB contains Sixteen Quarto Pages, handsomely I riuted and 1 - 
lustra ted. A Title Page and Index given at the close of each Volume, ending with June and December. 
TERMS, I»i Advance, Postage Prepaid:-Only feffi per Year, including Postage, which we 
>repay under 1 he. new law. In dribs of leu or more only f'U - per yearly copy, including postage, 
treat Inducements to Club Agents. Premium Lists, Specimens, Ac., sent to all disposed to u<J a 
behalf of the RURAL and its Objects. Address _ — .. 
D. D. T. MOORE, New York City. 
CHEESE FACTORY 
and Dreamery Apparatus. 
All Dairymen In need of any kind of Machinery, 
Utensils or Furnishing Goods, in the above lino, 
should send for our new Illustrated Circular and 
Price List, which gives full Information regarding 
all modern Improvements. .. „ 
CHARLKH MILLAR A SON, Utica, N.Y. 
CHEESE FACTORY AND DAIRY 
Apparatus, Implements & Supplies. 
Tlu* Beat und I lie Cheapest. 
Send for Descrlptlac Circular and Price last. 
Will. RALPH, Utlcn, N. Y. 
^REAT REDUCTION. 
TEAS AND COFFEES 
AT WHOLESALE PRICES. 
Increased Facilities to Club Orgnnlzera. 
Send for New Price List. 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA CO. 
p. o. Box 5643. 3i & 33 Vesey St., New York 
Moore’s Rural New-Yorker Ls one of the best 
agricultural and family newspapers published, and 
for many years has been an established favorite. It 
bus a most competent corps of writers, and while 
mutters of agricultural interest receive especial at¬ 
tention, the literary and news departments are not 
neglected. The conducting editor and publisher. 
D. D. T. Moore, assures his patrons that his paper 
for 1876 will present even greater attractions than 
before, and he Is sure to fulfill his promise.— Penn 
Tan Express. 
(CIRCULAR.) 
Consumers Importing Tea Co., 
No. 8 Oliurcli street. 
P. O. liox 5,509. New York City. 
This Isa combination of capitalists to supply the 
consumers of Teas throughout the United States on 
the mutual principle. 
We have experienced agents in all the best dis¬ 
tricts of China and Japan to select Teas especially 
for our trade. 
We expect every consumer of Teas o render us ad 
the assistance they can in currying out our enter¬ 
prise, as we make u specialty of SUPPLYING CON¬ 
SUMERS ONLY (and allow no middlemen to make 
any protit on our importations!, wmch will enable 
us to supply them with Teas at prices lower than 
have ever been known, and of those line qualities 
tin t seldom reach the interior, being sold only to 
the large cities and among the very wealthy. 
Hoping file consumer will lake an interest iu our 
enterprise, aud send at once for a circular with full 
explanations of how to proceed to obtain our goods, 
we remain, 
Most respectfully yours, 
Consumers Importing Tea Co., 
No. 8 Church St M 
P. O. Box 5.509. New York City. 
Entered, according to Act of Congress, In January, 
1874, by the Consumers Importing Tea Co., in the 
Office of the Librarian of Congress, Washingt on, D. 0 
endorse the merit claimed for it by the manufact¬ 
urers. 
All classes of people, und every variety of stitch¬ 
ing. bear witness that it lias no equal. 
The Awards at Vienna in 1873 
to the Weed Hewing Machine Company surpassed 
those to any Other exhibitor of Hewing Machines. 
The PntroiiN*! Husbandry and the Sovereigns 
•f I ndiistry are among our staunchest friends. 
No one can atiord to buy a Hewing Machine with¬ 
out first examining The Favorites. 
Manufactory at Hartford, Conn. 
PRESSED TIN-WARE. 
Buy mi Tin-ll'are without 
this Stamp. It is the best. 
IRON CLAD CAN CO., 
23 CIIU rtt., Now York. 
TIT t ITfTlTYn 79 more young men to learn Tele- 
1 A/ A iW I Li I I graphy. Good sitnatlonsguaian- 
II n t I P II teed. Address, with stamp, 
I ? 1111 1 Li JJ Supt. U. T. Co., Oberlin, O. 
~If the RURAL PURCHASING 
AGENCY cannot buy goods 
for less and sell goods 
for more money than 
you can yourselves, we 
don’t ask you to deal 
with it. TRY IT ! 
I RURAL PURCHASING AGENCY, 
78 Duane St., New York. 
The prospectus of Moore’s Rural NKW-YoRkER, 
one of the best literary, horticultural and agricul¬ 
tural Journals published In tins or any other coun¬ 
try, is inserted in another column. The met its or 
tliis excellent Weekly, as set forth In the advertise¬ 
ment, are not exaggerated. Indeed, the paper pos¬ 
sesses numerous admirable qualities which the tal¬ 
ented publisher doeB not mention.—York Pennsylva¬ 
nian. 
--Sra' 
