GEO. A. PRINCE & CO., 
Organs & Jfclodcons 
SPARKS AND SPLINTERS 
Motto for a mathematician — Adsmn. 
How to signal a hark—Pull a (log’s tail. 
A SIGNAL success—The weather reports. 
FCRltiN’ parts—Alaska and Hudson's Bay. 
To make a drum stick- Set It on ttie head of 
a tar barrel. 
Spain has four queens—Just aB many as a 
euchre deck. 
Two tons of testimony tliua far, says the New 
Haven Register.—Maul-ton and Til-tori. 
“ A ii I glorious weather this,” says the 
doctor; “ splendid run of broken legs lately.” 
Mi experience in life thus far haz been that 7 
wont go Into 15 and have mutch of ertfiythlng 
left over. 
“ I SAW Esau kissing Kate, 
la fact, we all three saw ; 
I hiiw ICasiii, she suw Kate, 
Autl she saw I saw Ksuu.'' 
A nor being asked wbo was the prime 
minister of England, unhesitatingly answered, 
“ Mr. Spurgeon." 
Milk-punch is now recommended as a cure 
for diphtheria. It has always been considered 
good for the throat. 
Tub man who kan set himself to work at 
enny thing on 5 inlnlta notiss haz got one of the 
best trade# I kno uv. 
Mil. H inn him been elected mayor of Syracuse. 
It is to be hoped that the Syracuse laborers are 
worthy of their Hlor. 
They say that Vliinie Ream warbles llke'a 
canary. She ought to sing well there are 
twenty choirs In a Ream. 
Concha has established a vigorous press cen¬ 
sorship In Havana. What Censor reason is 
there In such a course as that ? 
“My eyes with tears, is red anil dim, 
Cause lie loves she and 1 love him ; 
But they'll he belter by and by. 
When she cuts him and he loves I." 
Mr. Naylle of Toronto, was knocked down 
by mistake for another man, recently. He 
hopes they'll lilt the right Nay lie on the head 
next time. 
Why Is a pretty girl like a locomotive engine? 
Because she sends off the sparks, transports the 
mails, has a train following her, and passes 
over the plain 1 
A Vankke editor throws up the sponge with 
the remark that “ it don’t pay to run a paper In 
u town where business men read almanacs and 
pick their teeth with the tall of a herring." 
And now comes a Boston girl who wants the 
new under-garment to be culled “ prlma," be 
cause it Is the first to bo put on. All right; and 
moreover, the girl wbo dons it will be a prlma 
donner. 
A MATTICR-OF-I' ACT doctor's wife attempted 
to move him by her tears. “Ah I” said he, 
“ tears are useless. I have analyzed them. 
They contain a little phosphate of llnte, some 
chloride of sodium and water.” 
PericrtSHA M has produced an auctioneer who 
tells the truth. He recently told a bidder: 
“ You've got a good bargain on that sleigh you 
hid off for $2.60. It’s just as good for tlu* hens 
to roost on as one that cost $00.” 
Customer (who wishes to return a horse he 
has lately bought)—'“ He's kicked the carriage 
Into luclfer matches, and no one dare get on 
his back, Whut he wu- made for I can't think I" 
The dealer “To sell, 1 should say." 
A German philosopher swings round a circle 
In this admonitory fashion: 
“ Old folks must be venerated, 
Young folks must be educated, 
Wlno folks must be Interrogated 
And iools must needs be tolerated.” 
“I hay, Uncle Reuben; you ought to settle 
as much money on your pretty young wife as 
you can.” “ Why so, Jamesl” “ Because her 
second husband, poor fellow, may not have a 
dime." 
SlX-AND-A-HA lf feet of a bride stood before 
the altar in a Paris church the other day, and 
promised to love, cherish and obey three feet 
and a quarter of bridegroom; and that's the 
long anil short of it. 
Man’s a fool I 
When It 's hot he wants It cool; 
When It's cold he wants It hot— 
Ne’er contented with his lot. 
When It’s dry 
Ue for showers I* heard to sigh 
When—to meet his wIhIi— it ruins 
Of the wet the fool complains. 
Hot or cold, dry or wot, 
Nothing suits that he can get; 
1 consider, as u rule, 
Man's a fool. 
After Walt Whitman emerged from the last 
Polar wave, and had thawed the icicles from 
Ids frozen brain, be Is Bald to have exclaimed : 
1 howl a whoop; 
And with the liowlmontof the whoop I yip a yuwp, 
And with a million ohllt-betlngled veins I bow me to 
the winter’s sovereignity ; 
0 bltesome breeze! U qnlcksome waves! and all 
conglomerate elements of gelid things! 
“Katy, have you laid the cloth for break¬ 
fast, yet?" “ An’ sure 1 have, inem aud every¬ 
thing else but the eggs, and isn’t that the quid 
hen’s work surely?” 
The Oldest, Largest and Most Perfect Manufactory 
In the United States. 
Now In use. 
No other Musical Instrument ever obtained the 
same Popularity. 
E2f SeDd for Price-Lists. 
Address BUFFALO, N. Y. 
need not be told that the old original 
maintains the same splendid reputation which was 
freely accorded to It when first presented for criti¬ 
cism at the 
Paris Exposition of 1867. 
All who have tried this most simple, capable and 
durable 
endorse the merit claimed for It hy the manufact¬ 
urers. 
All classe" of people, and every variety of stitch¬ 
ing, bear witness that It lias no equal. 
The Awards at Vienna in 1873 
to the Weed He wing Machine Company surpassed 
those to any other exhibitor of Sowing Machines. 
The Pm roiisol II u»bnn<l ry and the Sovereigns 
of 1 ndiiNtry are among om staunchest friends. 
No one cun afford to buy a Hewing Machine with¬ 
out first examining Tlie Favorites. 
Manufactory ut Hartford. Conn. 
OOASTI3NTO. 
Jessie—“ Det out de way, Willie, I’h doing belly whopper 
PRESSED TIN-WARE. 
Buy no Tin-Ware without 
its stamp. It Ut the best. 
IKON CLAD CAN CO., 
‘-ill Cliff 8l., Now York. 
7U more young men 10 learn Tele¬ 
lira pliy. Good situations guatan- 
teed. Address, with stamp, 
Supt. V. T. Co., Oberfln, O. 
If the RURAL PURCHASING 
AGENCY cannot buy goods 
for less and sell goods 
for more l money than 
you can yourselves, we 
don’t ask you to deal 
with it. TRY IT! 
RURAL PURCHASING AGENCY, 
7N Dunne St., IVew York. 
AS A LITERARY AND FAMILY PAPER 
The mornl tone of MOORE'S It( T RAI, lias always been pure i 
an Educator Is worth many times Its cost to uuy family, in 
render the wholo paper whiuiuhu and iivitfr THAN ever 
proud of It and thousands of new ones become 11s ardent adm 
THE ItUKAI.’M II, LUSTRATIONS will continue to 
Indeed, our object Is to render the paper exceptionally ValuuUI 
Its Reports of Markets. Crops, Etc., are alone worth double tlu 
Each Number of the Unit A I. New-Yorker contains Sixteen l 
lustra ted. A Title Page »"d Index given ut the close or each V 
TERMS, In Advance. Postage Prepaid!—Only 
I repay under the new law. in clubs of ten or more only $ 
treat Inducements to Club Agents. Premium Lists, Speotm 
behalf of the Rural and Its Objects. Address 
(CIRCULAR.) 
Consumers Importing Tea Co., ) 
No. 8 <1:uroll Street. f 
P. O. Hex 5,509. New York €Ity. ) 
This Is n combination of capitalists to supply the 
consumers of Teas throughout the United States on 
Ihe mutual principle. 
We have experienced agents In ull the best dis¬ 
tricts of China and Japan-to select Tens especially 
for our trade. 
We expect every consumer of Teas *o render us ad 
the assistance they can In carrying out our enter¬ 
prise, as we make a specialty of SUPPLYING CON¬ 
SUMERS ONLY (and allow no middlemen to make 
any profit on our Importations), wniob will enublo 
us to supply them with Teas at prices lower than 
huve ever been known, and of those tine qualities 
tin t seldom reach the interior, being sold only to 
the large cities and among the very wealthy. 
Hoping the consumer will take an interest In our 
enterprise, and send at once for a circular with full 
explanations of how to proceed to obtain our goods, 
we remain, 
Most respectfully yours. 
Consumers Importing Tea Co., 
No. 8 Church 81., 
I\ O. Box 5.509. New York City. 
Entered, according to Act of Congress, in January, 
1HY4, by the Consumers Importing Tea Co., in the 
Ollicoof the Librarian of Congress, Washlngt on, li.C 
and C reamery Apparatus. 
All Dairy men In need of any kind of Machinery, 
Utensils or Furnishing Goods, In the above line, 
should send tor our new Illustrated Circular and 
Price List, which gives full information regarding 
all modern Improvements. .. 
CHARLES MILLAR A SON, Utlou, N. Y. 
A Work on the Brooding, Rear¬ 
ing, Care and Cenoral Man¬ 
age rn e ni__of_P o u 11 ry. 
BY WILLIAM M. LEWIS. 
This Is one of the driest gotten-uD works on the 
subject on which It Keats, for its size and price, of 
any publication of the kind In this country. It is 
finely and profusely Illustrated, and printed and 
oound in extra style. Contains TH large octavo 
pagus. Bent, by tusU, post-paid, for I1.M. Address 
O. D. T. MHO RE, Publisher, 
78 Hun mi- Mt., New York. 
Apparatus, Implements & Supplies 
The Beat and the Cheapest. 
Send for Deacrlptiae Circular and Price List. 
Will. RALPH, Mien, N. V. 
GREAT REDUCTION. 
TEAS AND COFFEES 
AT WHOLESALE PRICES. 
Increased Facilities to Club Organizers. 
Head for New Price Lint. 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA CO. 
P. o. Box MB3. 3i & 33 Vesey St., New York 
ALLEN’S 
AMERICAN CATTLE 
THEIR HISTORY, BREEDING AND 
MANAGEMENT. 
Mcork’s Rural New-Yorker is one of the best 
agricultural and family newspapers published, and 
for many years has been an established favorite. It 
1ms a most competent corps of writers, and while 
mutters of agricultural interest receive especial at¬ 
tention, the literal y anil news departments are not 
neglected. The conducting edlCur urid publisher. 
I> D Moon*, assures his patrons Unit fils paper 
for iHT!> will preariDt even greater oUmePons Ulan 
before, and he is sure to fulfill hi* promise.— 1‘cnn 
Yon Express. 
