tSHit and junior. 
SPARKS AND SPLINTERS. 
A PAdFic fee-male—Irwin. 
The trump of fame is the most tricky card In 
the pack. 
Signs of epiiiig—The lightning-rod men are 
on the road. 
Votl can’t write about a hen without being 
in hcr-nesl. 
When a young lady gives herself away, 8he 
naturally loses her self-possession. 
When a girl falls In love with an unlucky 
Irishman, her heart always pitysPat. 
What some people always want Some pub¬ 
lic or private affairs to complain of. 
Shampooing and razor lionelng I will do to per¬ 
fection, 
In hair and winkers dyeing Id<*fy inspection; 
Therefore I solicit gentlemanly customers as pro¬ 
tection 
To support mysell', family and connection. 
Jones calls the chapter in a new novel over 
which his wife wept profusely, a watering 
place. 
A young man has sued his barber for cutting 
off his moustache. The barber says lie didn’t 
see it. 
It is the high price of slate pencils that Is 
sendiug so many saloon keepers to the poor- 
house. 
“ The dew Is on the rye,” he sadly remarked, 
as the bar*keeper scored another mark on the 
slate.” 
“Mankind," once said a preacher, “man¬ 
kind includes woman, for man embraces 
woman. 
Among the things sent to the starving people 
of Kansas was a tract headed :—“The Wicked¬ 
ness of Gluttony.” 
Adams, Masschussets, must be the oldest 
settlement on the continent. Susan B. Anthony 
says she was born there. 
MortK happy by far is the mau with catarrh. 
Than the one who Is perfectly well; 
Hcl» one of those who art? saved by the nose 
From many a horrid smell. 
“ One thing,” said an old toper, “ never was 
seen coming through the rye, and that’s the 
kind of whisky one gets, nowadays.” 
Hkrbkkt Spencer Indignantly denies that 
married life Is favorable to longevity. It is evi¬ 
dent that Herbert doesn’t know old Brigham 
Young. 
“Why did you pass yesterday without look¬ 
ing at me?” said a beautiful woman to Tally- 
rand “ because, madam, if 1 had looked J could 
not have passed.” 
Mrs. VVu u.i am JT.UNtz of Albany separated 
from lior husband after only two weeks of wed¬ 
lock because he snored so loudly that she could 
not sleep. Verdict : Served him right. 
An Indiana Judge lm* decided that if a 
woman will shurten pie-crust with butter at 
thirty-eight Cents a pound, her husband has 
good cause for divorce. 
A Danbury boy Is preparing for Congress. 
He is so far gone as to have said In a debating 
club oration that “the name of the late Charles 
Sumner will go crashing down the centuries.” 
He who stealethan editor’s purse 
Robs ldm of Ids trash ; 
But he who stealelh an editor’s verse 
Robs turn of his hash. 
When a Poland woman chases her boy with a 
broom, he runs down on to a wharf and jumps 
into the water. When he comes out, his face is 
washed, his mother don’t know him and he is 
safe. 
If Mr. Gardener of Iowa, hadn’t been taken 
out and tarred und feathered and rolled in the 
snow he wofild never have know how much his 
wife loved him. She was t hree weeks scraping 
the tar off. 
A wife to make you happy ? Soft young man ; 
Dismiss that hope with ull the speed you can ; 
The greatest happiness of married life 
Is trying, not in vatu, to please a wife, 
Most men, content to try, and not tmceoed, 
The will must rentier happy for the deed; 
The lady’s sighs, not smiles, requite her lord, 
Aud love, like virtue, Is its own reward. 
A I.ad who borrowed a dictionary to road re¬ 
turned it after he got through with the 
remark:—“It was worry nice reading, but it 
somehow changed the subject worry often.” It 
was his sister that thought the ice cream she 
tasted was a little touched with lrost . 
“Mr. Smith era, how can you sleep? The 
sun has been up t hose two hours.” “ Well, 
what If he has ?" said Smithers. “lie goes to 
bed at dark, while I’m up till after midnight." 
1 ask my love one luippy day, 
What should 1 call her in my lay— 
By what sweet name from Rome or Greece. 
Naira, Laura, or Lucreee. 
All I replied my gentle fair, 
Dear one, what are names but air! 
Choose thou whatever suits the line ; 
Call me Laura, call me Chlorts, 
Call me Lalage or Doris, 
Only,only, call me “ chine.” 
The Boston Globe has a lady on Its staff, but 
it, nevertheless says: “Two women who will 
occupy three seats lu a crowded street car by 
keeping a large traveling-bag on the seat be¬ 
tween them require no bristles to betray their 
species." 
A^TsT '‘EDUCATED” "V, S. 
Dr. J, Oalen Jones, V. S .— “This 'ere animile, sir, has got a concattynation of the 
carteroid aster, actin’ on the jugglar, which is aggyvated by a mobbid condition of the 
mestiforious glan’ 1” 
Horse Owner —“Goodness gracious ! He’ll die sure ! He can’t git over all them 1” 
Dr. —“No, sir. But it’s lucky you called me in time. I shall give him a dost of 
OUgh-hoss-mnos,’ and you’ll see him survive to onct!” 
GEO. A. PRINCE & CO., 
Organs & Melodcons. 
The Oldest, Largest and Most Perfect Manufactory 
in the United States. 
54.000 
Now In use. 
No other Musical Instrument ever obtained the 
same Popularity. 
ZTf~ Send for Price-Lists. 
Address BUFFALO, N. Y, 
TILE MILLS! 
War ran ted Two Years ! ! 
KOR PRICES, he.. ADDRESS 
A. N. HADLEY & CO., 
Indianapolis, Ind. 
THE PUBLIC 
need not be told that the old original 
Family Favorite 
maintains the same splendid reputation which was 
freely accorded to it when first presented for criti¬ 
cism at the 
Paris Exposition of 1867. 
All who have tried this most simple, capable and 
durable 
M’r'RPFT?V Mr pn SEWING MACHINE, 
^ Aw JL Ou W endorse tlio merit claimed for St by the manufact¬ 
urers. 
Broadway and I Ith Street, New York, w*: 
invite attention to their full and magnificent assortment of The Awards at Vienna in 1873 
CHENEY BROTHERS’ 
AMERICAN SILKS, 
Black and Colored G-ros GS-rains. 
These beautiful goo.is are Manufactured with Special 
Reference to Durability, and are Warranted not 
to Cut or Change Color in Wearing. 
to the Weed Sewing Machine Company surpassed 
those to any other exhibitor of Sewing Machines. 
The Patron*ot Husbn miry and the Sovereigns 
of Industry are among onr staunchest friends. 
No one can afford to buy a Sewing Machine with¬ 
out llrst examining The Favorites. 
Manufactory at Hartford. Conn. 
TWO NEW TOMATOES. 
ANTED IMMEDIATELY 
A few tnon- young men and women l.o learn Book 
keiMilug, I > enmaiialilp,&e..to Oil positions ati» sal¬ 
ary of »»0i> to ttftX) per year, .salary paid while 
learning. Situations guaranteed. AiMroMH wlili 
Stamp M W.Cotib, Pres. Bus. Coll.. Pai.esrille.O. 
CHEESE FACTORY 
mid Creamery Apparatus. 
All Dairymen in need of any kind of Machinery, 
Utensils or KurilIsblne Goods, In the above Hue, 
should send for our new lllustrateu Circular and 
Price List, which gives full information regarding 
all modern improvements. 
CHARLES MILLAR A BON, Utica, N. Y. 
GREAT REDUCTION. 
TEAS AND COFFEES 
AT WHOLESALE PRICES. 
Iacreascd Facilities to Clnb Organizer**. 
Semi for New Price List. 
THEGREATAMERICANTEACO. 
P, 0. Box 5643. 3i & 33 Vesey St., New York 
PRESSED TIN-WARE. 
Ituu n<> 2Hn~ li'are. without 
this Stomp. It is the ht.it. 
I RON CLAD CAN CO., 
’43 Cl ill St., New York. 
(CIRCULAR.) 
Consumers Importing Tea Co., 
No. 8 Clinrcli Street. 
P. O. Box 5, .509. New York City. 
This is a combination of capitalists to supply the 
consumers of 'Fens throughout the United States on 
the mutual principle. 
We have experienced agents in all the best dis¬ 
tricts of China and Japan to select Teas especially 
for our trade. 
We expect every consumer of Teas to render us ail 
the assistance they can in currying Out our enter¬ 
prise, ns we make a specialty of SUPPLYING CON¬ 
SUMERS ONLY (and allow no middlemen to make 
any profit on our importations), whioli will enable 
us to supply them with Teas at prices lower than 
have ever been known, and of those line qualities 
thrt seldom roach the interior, being sold only to 
the large cities aud among the very wealthy. 
Hoping the consumer will take an interest in our 
enterprise, and send at once tor a circular with full 
explanations of how to proceed to obtain our goods, 
we remain, 
Most respectfully yours, 
Consumers Importing Tea Co., 
Mooum’s Rural Nbw-Yorkkk is one of the heat l» <, * ao*I 
agricultural ami family newspapers published, and * 
for many > ears lias been an established favorite. It Entered, according u 
No. S Church St, 
New York City. 
has a most competent corps of writers, aud while 
matters of agricultural interest receive especial at¬ 
tention, the literary and uews dopaitmcnts are not 
norleoted. The conducting editor arid pu'dlsher. 
D. D. T, Moure, u>Rurcs his patrons that hla taper 
for i87.'i will present' even greater aUr.,iit<ons than 
before, and he Is sure tu fulfill his promise. —Renn 
Yon McpreSs. 
Is making up lists of newspapers for 1875, we hope 
our furmer-frlemls will not overlook that “ old stand¬ 
by," Thu Rural Nbw-Yghkhr, fouudea and still 
conducted by D. D. T. Moo lei. New York. No belter 
Journal of Its class Is published anywhere. Join the 
Club now being made up at the Post-Office, at only 
$2.15 a year .—Lyons Republican. 
Entered,according to Act of Congress, in January, 
1874, by the Consumers Importing Tea Co., in the 
Office of the Librarian or Congress, Washington, I».0, 
• 
•1'hk Rural New-Yorkku, founded by D. D. T, 
MooRK, is one of tne best, if not the best, agricul¬ 
tural papers published In flits country. We certainly 
know of none which »o exactly fills our idea of a 
J mper for the farmer and his fireside ns does this 
ouruab Mr. Mciore alms to make the RURAL auch 
a paper as shall delight the hospitable housekeeper, 
give instruction ami amusement to the young, und 
furnish pleasant reading to all whether in country 
or town, Taking the last issue as a specimen num¬ 
ber, we can truly »uy U fulfills all these conditions, 
and heartily commend it to all.— Dover IN. J.) Mail. 
THE CONQUEROR. 
Ten ilnyi. enclier than nny other variety. 
Prof. Thurber. the well known editor of the Agri¬ 
culturist, thus describes It! 
•• I hud over a dozen varieties, including this, 
among which were several novelties, as well as 
those accepted ns standard varieties. 1 think it a 
moderate statement to say the Conqueror was ten 
days curlier Ilian any other in the garden. 1 would 
also add that in color, shape and quality, this variety 
was highly satisfactory.” 
Price 25 cts. per packet; 5 packets, $1.00. 
THE GOLUKN TROPHY, 
a sport of the well known Trophy—and its counter¬ 
part in shape, size, and general appearance: of a 
rich,golden yellow color; a valuable acquisition. 
25 cts. per packet; 5 packets. $1.00. 
The following Catalogues are Annually Published, 
and will be Mailed to all Applicants 
upon Receipt or Price: 
Bliss’* Illustrated Seed Catalogue and 
Anmirur’a Guide to the Flower aud K Ucheu 
Garden.— 200 pages, including several hundred 
finc.ly-cxncuted engravings und a beautifully-col¬ 
ored IIIhogrniih, ‘25 cents. An edltiou elegant¬ 
ly bound in doth, SI. 
Bliss's Gurdener’s Alumnae aud Abridged 
Catalogue,— WW page*. Kmbrnces u Monthly Cal¬ 
endar of operations aud a price-list oi all the lead¬ 
ing Garden, Field, nnil Flower steed*, with 
brief directions for their culture. 6 cents. 
Bliss’s Illustrated Poiaru Catalogue con¬ 
tains a descriptive list of all the new varieties re¬ 
cently introduced, with many other desirable sorts, 
beantifullv illustrated; also most useful informa¬ 
tion upon the cultivation of this valuable esculent. 
Free to all. Ad dress 
B. K. BLISS & SONS, 
34 Barclay Street. 
P. O. Box 5712. New York City. 
79 more young men to learn Tele- 
S raphy. Good situations guaran- 
eea. Addrass. with stamp, 
Supt. U. T. Co., Oberlin, O. 
