246 
MOORE’S RURAL NEW-YORKER. 
lot it and liumq. 
SPARKS AND SPLINTERS. 
It requires a rayen-ous appetite to eat crow. 
Spirit of the countrybring in that wood.” 
An inside dental expense—having a tooth 
filled. 
The spring bonnet will be ornamented with 
real icicles. 
This is more like spring, say9 Quilp, when 
Mrs. Quilp presented him the bill for her new 
bonnet. 
Sitting cross-legged is said to bring luck at 
cards; but cross-tempered brings luck at 
nothing. 
“Bay, Smith, where have you been for a 
week back ?” “ I haven’t been anywhere for it. 
I haven’t got a weak back.” 
The hardest thing to hold In this world is an 
unruly tongue. It beats a hot smoothing-iron 
and a kicking horse considerably. 
COOL piece of business—Mr. llergh arresting 
New York coachmen lor not blanketing their 
horses. Kind of a nice bergh way of doing 
things. 
“I GUESS I'll take this book,” remarked a 
Chicago lady to the clerk of a bookstore ; “It’s 
got twice as much gold leaf on the cover as any 
of the rest.” 
“ What’s Jographv, Bill?” “It’s ’a telltn’ of 
forrin lauds that we know nothin' about by 
cute chaps that’s never seen ’em." Bill got a 
Government situation. 
“ Idiot !” exclaimed a lady coming out of the 
theatre one evening as a gentleman accident¬ 
ally stepped on her traillngskirt. “ Which one 
of us?" blandly replied the man. 
These parlor camp-chairs are very pretty, 
but don’t try to lean back in one. They close on 
you without notice, and you might as well have 
a dog’s teeth under your coat-tail. 
Jane leaned her buck against the fence, 
And hung her haughty head, 
As if to meet the passer’s eye 
Would almost strike her dead. 
Stock still against the fence she stood, 
Nor moved a single mupcte, 
But blame her not, that haughty girl. 
For she had lost hor bustle. 
A papeh speaks of some houses the roofs of 
which are “shingled with slate." This is al¬ 
most as good as the Hibernian description of a 
roof “ copper-bottomed on the top with sheet 
tin.” 
Physician—'“W hy dont you set a bound to 
your drinking, and not exceed It?" Patient— 
“ So I do, old fellow, so I do; but then, you see, 
it's so far off that I always get drunk before I 
reach it.” 
The report of a wedding in Kentucky con¬ 
cludes in this wise: “ The bride was far from 
being handsome, but her father threw in a span 
of horses and seven mules, and the bridegroom 
was satisfied.” 
“ A place for every thing, and every thing in 
Its place,” as the old woman said w r ben she 
stowed the broom, bellows, balls of yarn, two 
babies, curry-comb, three cats and a gridiron 
Into an old oven. 
A Kansas family has lived four days on dried 
apples and snow. A Down-Easier with such | 
chances would have crawled out from under 1 
the drifts with eleven patents for making j 
dried-apple Ice-cream. 
“Mr. Smith’s compliments to Mr. Brown, 
thinks It unnecessary that bis piggs should go 
through his grounds." Answer ” Mr. Brown’s 
compliments to Mr. Smith, thinks It unneces¬ 
sary to spell pigs with twog’s," 
An Irish peasant being asked why he per¬ 
mitted his pig to take up quarters with his 
family, made an answer abounding with satiri¬ 
cal naivete: “Why not? Doesn’t the place 
afford every convenience that a pig can re¬ 
quire?" 
An inquisitive chap stepped into a marble 
shop the other day, where Smith was about 
completing the sculpture of a lamb. “ Did 
you cut out that animal ?" asked the interroga¬ 
tion point. "Oh, no,” said Smith, " the lamb 
has been there ail the time; i only took the 
marble from around him—that’s all.” 
The speaker’* voice was hushed at last- 
lie had no more to tell, 
And from that weary audience 
Arose a grateful yell. 
Yet one there was. of gent ler mold. 
Who, guxlng toward the skies. 
Drew forth a kerchlel spotless while, 
And wiped his streaming eyes. 
But when with trembling band he sought 
That kerchief to restore, 
An onion of convenient size 
Boiled out upon the lioor. 
An old wornun, on the day devoted to St. 
Michael, the Archangel, going Into a church in 
Paris, where there wa9 a representation of that 
saint discomfiting the devil, put one large taper 
close to St. Michael, and another close to the 
Uend. “ Woman 3” exclaimed the priest, “ you 
are making an offering to Satan ; you know not 
what you do.” “I know what I am doing well 
enough,” was the reply; “but as I do not 
certainly know where I ain going, it is as well to 
have a friend everywhere.” 
U 'I 1 
ii , w.:P\\ , In 0 
A. LITTLE IvlISTJlSriDERSTA^^IDII^Q-. 
Purchaser —Look here, fanner Jones, you sold me this horse with the understanding 
that she would go in about 3 minutes. 
Farmer— Wal, mister, she was always so fast to one spot that I could never get her 
to go in much less than 8 minutes, you see ! 
jV*S 
£ 4- 
sp 
jBAKta fe 
A.»U to *ee the NEW ELGIN WATCH named 
“T. M. AVERY,” 
THE BEST WATCH FOR THE MONEY NOW MADE IN THE WORLD. 
each watch Manufactured by 
THE ELGIN NATIONAL WATCH COMPANY, 
bearing the Trade Mark of the company, 
Is accompanied by a MEDAL bearing the Name and Number of the Watch GUARANTEEING ITS QUALITY. 
tiTFOR SALE BY ALL JEWELERS. JUS 
- - - 1 Ulfl ABO- wiuumi-mwm v- —*-----rr-* - 
mirri X>TTT*T Tr 4 All GOOD BUTTER Makers consumers of Teas throughout the United States < 
X 11 Ju Jl U JE® jLA «A> V/ Should send for Illustrated Circular to the mutual principle. 
ORANGE CO. MILK PAN COMPANY, m ^ . olI ... hoat ,, 
need not be told that the old original Franklin, Del. Co., N. Y. We have experienced agents in all the best d 
| -- - — tricts of China and Japan to select Teas especial 
Tamilu faunr tP cheese factory 
rally I □ I U I I 10 and Creamery AniiaratllS We expect every consumer of Teas to render us. 
■ ■ J ailtl U CillllU J sxisss. assistance they can in carrying out our ent« 
maintains the same splendid reputation which was All Dairymen in need of any kind of Machinery. prlge a „ we make u specialty of SUPPLYING CO 
freely accorded to It when first presented tor criti- ^ould send for'our ‘new muMrated*C?rculBr and BUMKR8 ONLY (aud allow no middlemen to ma 
w ““ u “ .. SEStiSS:“*«***«» „»i.w.u-1.-.id. .u..... 
Paris Exposition OI 1867. CHARLES MILLAR A- SON. Utica. N. Y. um to supply them with Teas at prices lower th 
have ever been known, aud of those tine qualltl 
All who have tried this most simple, capable and QREAT REDUCTION. thrt seldom reach the Interior, being sold only 
durable the lurge cities and among the very wealthy. 
SEWING MACHINE, TEAS AND COFFEES Hoping the consumer will take an interest In o 
endorse the merit claimed for it by the manufact- AT WHOLESALE PRIfES. enterprise, and send at once for a circular with t 
e explanations of bow to proceed to obtain our goo 
Urer9 ' , Increased Facilities to Club Organizers. _„ TMIlllin 
«- -Hee Most respectfully your.. 
The Awards at Vienna in 1873 THE BREAT AMERICAN TEA CO. Consumers Importing Tea 
TREES, Etc. 
We offer for SPRING. '"It)) an ^usually 
large stock of well-grown, thrifty 
JJinndnril nnd Dwarf Fruit Trees ; 
Grnpe Vine*, Smnll Fruits; 
Ornament n I Trees. Shrubs, Roses; 
New und Rare Fruit and Ornami'ulal Trees; 
Evergreens nail Itnlbnun ItoiilN t 
New null Itnre Green and lint-house Plnnfs. 
Small parcels forwarded bp mail when desired. 
PROMPT ATTENTION CIVEN TO ALL INQUIRIES. 
Descriptive aiui Illustrated Priced Catalogues sent, 
prepaid, on receipt of stamps, a* follows: 
No. 1 Fruits, lOc. No.li—Ornamental Trees, 10c. 
No. 3-Green-house, I Oc. No. 4— Wholesale, Free. 
BeUMished 1840. ELLWANGER & BARRY, 
Mount Hope SurserUs, ROCHESTER, N. Y. 
GEO. A. PRINCE & C0 M 
Organs & Hclodcons. 
The Oldest, Largest and Most Perfect Manufactory 
in the Un.ted States. 
54.000 
Now in use. 
No other Musical Instrument ever obtained the 
same Popularity. 
E3*~ Send for Price-Lists. 
Address BUFFALO, N. Y. 
TILE MILLS! 
Warranted Two Years J ! 
FOB PRICES, AC., ADDRESS 
A. N. HADLEY & CO., 
Indinnapollw, Ind. 
r WILBOR’S COMPOUND OF ^ 
PURE COD LIVER 
k OIL AND LIME, a 
YVtlbor’a Cod Liver Oil aud Lime.— Persons 
who hav« been taking Cod Liver Oil will bo pb-ased 
to leam that Dr. Wtlbor has succeeded, from direc¬ 
tions of several professional genllemeu, in combin¬ 
ing the pure oil and llrao in such a manner that it is 
pleasant to the taste, and it* eflert* in lung com¬ 
plaints ate trull wonderful. Vary many persons 
whose case* were pronounced hopeless and who had 
taken the clear oil a long time without marked effect. 
have been entirely ciiroO by using this preparation, 
lie sure aud get the genuine. Manufactured only 
by'A. B. W ii.Bou, Chemist, Boston. Sold by ail 
druggists. 
79 more young men lo learn Tele¬ 
graphy. Good situations guaiau- 
teed. Address, with stamp, 
Supt. U. T. Co.. Oberlin, O. 
(CIRCULAR.) 
Consumers Importing Tea Co.,) 
No. 8 CUurcli Street. r 
P. O. Box 6,509. New York City. ) 
This is a combination of capitalists to supply the 
consumers of Teas throughout the United States on 
the mutual principle. 
We have experienced agents in all the best dis¬ 
tricts of China and Japan to select Teas especially 
for our trade. 
We expect every consumer of Teas to render us ail 
the assistance they can in carrying out our enter¬ 
prise, as we make a specialty of SUPPLYING CON¬ 
SUMERS ONLY (aud allow no middlemen to make 
any profit on our Importations), wnich will enable 
us to supply them with Teas at prices lower than 
have ever been known, aud of those tine qualities 
thr t seldom reach the Interior, being sold only to 
the lurge cities and among the very wealthy. 
Hoping the consumer will take an Interest In our 
enterprise, and send at once for a circular with full 
explanations of bow to proceed to obtain our goods, 
we remain, 
Most respectfully yours, 
to the Weed Sewing Machine Company surpassed 
those to any other exhibitor of Sewing Muchines. 
Tbr Pttrrou* oi Husbandry and the Sovereign* 
of 1 uduatvy are among our staunchest friends. 
No one can afford to buy a Sewing Machine witb- 
outflrst examining The Favorites. 
Manufactory at Hartford. Conn. 
Moore's Rubai « Worker, conducted by 
our joHv friend, Hun. D. I>. !’. Moore, lead* all the 
uaper* of Its class in this country- It is edited with 
great care and. has a large variety of inturesring and 
Instructive departments for the family and tne fire¬ 
side. Convenient In form, remarkably neat In typog¬ 
raphy. abounding in timely lllustralions, and well 
filled with the choicest of matter, both original and 
selected, it hus no superior In It* peculiar sphere.— 
Yonkers Oasrtte. 
P. 0. Box 5643. 3i & 33 Vesey St., New York 
PRESSED TIN-WARE. 
Huy no Tlflr-Wuce without 
this Stamp. It is the best. 
IRON CLAD CAN CO., 
Clift St., Now York. 
TRK prospectus of MOORE’S RURAL N jcw-Yonkun, 
one of the best Uterury, horticultural und agricul¬ 
tural journals published In till* or any other 00 tin• 
fay, is inserted in another column. The merits of 
this excellent Weekly, as set forth In the advertme- 
meut, are not exaggerated. Indeed, the paper pos¬ 
sesses numerous admirable qualities which the tal¬ 
ented publisher does not mention^— York Pennsylvu. 
W an. 
No. S Church St., 
P. O. Box 5,509. New York City. 
Entered, according to Act of Congress, In January, 
1874, by the Consumers importing Te.i Co., in tb e 
Office of the Librarian of Congress, Washington, D.c, 
The Rural NEW-YoxtKKR. founded by D. D. T. 
Moore, l» one oi the best, If not the best, agricul¬ 
tural papers published in this country. We certainly 
know or none which so exactly fills our idea of a 
paper for the lsrmer and his fireside ns does this 
journal. Mr. Moore aims to make the Rural sock 
a paper as shall delight the hospitable housekeeper. 
f ive instruction and amusement to the young, and 
urntsb pleasant readiDg to all whether in country 
or town. Taking the last Issue as a specimen num¬ 
ber, we can truly »*y it fulfills ail these conditions, 
and heartily commend it to *11 .—Dover (N. J.} Mail. 
