232 
tUtit and gumoij. 
SPARKS AND SPLINTERS. 
There Is a new version of an ancient rhyme 
which strikes us as being a great Improvement 
on Its predecessor. It runs: 
“ It is good to be merry and wise i 
It is good to be honest uud true: 
And before you are off with the old love. 
It is best to be on with the new - ” 
An affair of the heart—The circulation of the 
blood. 
If It seams good, a sewing-machine may be 
likened unto a kiss. 
What State is round on both ends and high 
In the middle? Ohio. 
Miss Eastman of Boston speaks of “ eves as 
bright as buttons on an angel’s underclothes." 
The only objection to the female chaplain of 
the Maine Legislature Is that she has too much 
to say. 
Brio ham You no hus caused the Mormon 
Church tci excommunicate his nineteenth 
mother-in-law. 
We understand that the plumbers are getting 
up a testimonial to “ Old Probabilities,” for 
favors shown this season. 
The signs “ look out'for the locomotive when 
the hell rings," have been dug out of the snow 
at most railroad crossings. 
“The balmy breath of spring,” is an expres¬ 
sion of the Brooklyn Argus. Glad to hear it ; 
but which spring, When, where. 
No wonder the Sultan of Turkey is called 
“ the sick mun of Europe." He has 700 wives 
enough to make him the sickest, 
A little man observed that he had two 
negative qualities: he never lay long in bed, 
and lie never wanted a great coat. 
Why are the fond glances a mother casts 
upon her baby like Turkish cavalry ?—Because 
they are mammy-looks (Mamelukes). 
One Frost, of Marion county, Kentucky, has 
named his live sons Severe Frost, Winter Frost, 
White Frost, Jack Frost and Black Frost. 
They take a census in Rhode Island as they 
take a contested vote In town meeting—the 
people stand up until they can be counted. 
A North Broadway gentleman spent Wash¬ 
ington’s birthday examining a plumber's bill 
and now the doctors say there is no hope for 
him. 
A man In Illinois broke into the house of a 
widow. She pitched him out of doors. A 
striking evidence of the power of the widow's 
might. 
Eli Perkins, according to the veracious St. 
Louis Journal, is suffering from a cold in the 
head. This shows that nature abhors a 
vaenutn. 
Josh Billings has been writing for the press 
nearly twenty years and he doesn’t know how 
to spell any hotter now than the day he com- 
memced. 
You wouldn’t think it to look at him, but 
Gideon Welles used to be a boy once and tear 
Ids trousers by sliding down cellar doors in 
L>uxbury. 
In Brooklyn they celebrated Washington's 
birthday by suspending the Beecher trial. Here 
is another benefit that great man bestowed on 
posterity. 
A Michigan man has raised live lemons on 
a tree which he keeps in a hot-house. It took 
four tons of coal, and he sold the lemons for 
seventy cents. 
A Maine woman was true to her lover, and 
married him after he came back from Califor¬ 
nia, after ail absence of twenty years. N. B.— 
He came back rich. 
This is the season of the year when the editor 
shouts up the pipe to the foreman, “ The 
article I sent up yesterday, headed, ‘ Spring Has 
Gome, 'you can hold over." 
“ For whom are you concerned ?" asked a 
judge, of a lawyer. ** I am concerned for the 
plaintiff, your Honor, but I’m employed by 
the defendant,” was the reply. 
“ Sue,” said a sorrowing wife, “ how peaceful 
the cat and dog are,’’ “ Yes,” said the petu¬ 
lant Husband, “but just tie them together, 
and then see how the lur will By." 
A wag in “ what he knows about farming,” 
gives a very good plan to remove widows’ 
weeds. He says a good-looking man lias only 
to say, “ Wilt thou ?” and they wilt. 
When Brigham Young was in jail the other 
day lor contempt of court there were live of 
his wives weeping at each window of that 
institiilinii, and twelve at the door. 
A chimney-sweep hearing it was proposed 
to have separate street cars for women, su’d 
he didn’t see any need of it, he’d no objection 
to riding in the same on r with women. 
He blushed a fiery red ; her heart went pit-u- 
pat; she gently hung her head, and looked 
down at the mat. He trembled in his speech ; 
lie rose from where he sat, and shouted with a 
screech, “ You’re sitting on my hat 1" 
A precocious boy was asked which was the 
greater evil of the two, burling another’s feel¬ 
ing or his Unger, He said the former. ** Right, 
my dear child," said the gratified questioner, 
“and why is it worse to hurt the feelings?” 
“ Because you can’t tie a rag around them,” ex- 1 
claimed the dear child. 
-A- CASE OF CONSCIENCE. 
Mr. Squash —“Dearest Becky, will you consent to share my lot?” 
Becky—' 1 How many acres, Squashy dear ?” 
ARE YOU GOING TO PAINT? 
MILLER BRO’S 
CHEMICAL PAINT --READY FOR USE, 
and made of Strictly Pure White Lead, Zinc and J.tnaeed Oil. It !• the Most Durable Cheanest and 
Handsomest Paint In the World! All other Chemical Paints arc Imitations 
Send for Sample Card of Colors. 
109 Wilier St., Cleveland, Ohio. 
ISKW \ OK K KNAMKL PAINT CO., 
__ __103 CliMtubeiN St., New York. 
THI? PUCCCC DUfiT TIT 1 ITmrm 79 more young men to learn Tele- 
1 11 ■- UnCCOC A W A m'l'lill grnpljy, Good situations guman- 
Factory & Farm Dairy Apparatus, 1 X AJ 
Furnishing Goods. «kc. aii rjnf! 
Send for Circular. H. H. ROE & CO., 
Madison, Lake Co., Ohio. „ B ' 
---- URAMjK < 
THE PUBLIC 
need not be told that the old original JillCl ClM 
Family Favorite #§2 
w all modern imp 
maintains the same splendid reputation which was I'HAIti 
freely uncorded to it when first presented for criti-- 
cismatthe CrRJEA 
Paris Exposition of 1867. teas 
All who have tried this most simple, capable and 
durable AT VCI 
SEWING MACHINE, In0 ™* ed F 
endorse the merit claimed for it by the munulaet- _ _ _ _ , 
«ers THEGREi 
All classes of people, and every vuriety of stitch- p n 
Ing, bear witness that It has no equal. * J ‘ 
The Awards at Vienna in 1873 
to the Weed Sewing Machine Company surpassed 
those to any other exhibitor of Sewing Machines. 
The Patrons ol Husbandry and the Sovereigns 
of I military are anioog our staunchest friends. 
No one cun afford to buy a Sewing Machine with¬ 
out first examining The Favorites. 
Manufactory at Hartford, Conn. 
ALLEN’S 
AMERICANJATTLE. 
THEIR HISTORY, BREEDING AND 
MANAGEMENT. 
Every breeder or owner of Cattle Should have this 
work by Hod. Lewis F. Allen, Kx-Preat. N. ?. State 
Ag. Society. Editor of “ American Short-Horn Herd 
Book,’’ Ac., Ac. It U * handsomely illustrated and 
well printed and bound volume of 58S duodecimo 
S ages. Mailed, post-paid, to any address In United 
tates or Canada on reoblpt of reduced price. *2. 
Address 
O. D. T. [MOOItK, 
78 Dunne •*»,, N, Y. 
Moore's Rural New-Yorker, conducted by 
our Jolly friend, Hon. D. D. T. Moore, leads all the 
papers of Its class in this country. U is edited with 
great care and has a large vai letv of interesting and 
Instructive departments for the family and tne fire¬ 
side. Convenient In form, remarkably neat In typog¬ 
raphy, abounding In timely lllustruiloDS. and well 
filled with the choicest of matter, both original and 
selected, It has no superior In Its peculiar sphere.— 
Yuuken Gazette. 
79 more youDg men to learn Tele¬ 
graphy. Good situations guiuan- 
teed. Address, with stamp, 
Supt. U. T, Co., Oberlin, <). 
All GOOD BUTTER Makers 
Should send for Illustrated Circular to 
OltANGK CO. MILK PAN COMPANY, 
Franklin, Del. Co.. N. Y. 
CHEESE FACTORY 
and Creamery Apparatus. 
All Dairymen lr, need of any kind of Machinery, 
Utensils or Furnishing Goods, In the above line, 
should send for our new illustrated Circular and 
Price List, which give's full information regarding 
all modern improvements. 
CHARLES MILLAR. A SON. Utica, N. V. 
GREAT REDUCTION. 
TEAS AND COFFEES 
AT WHOLESALE PRICES. 
Increased Facilities to Club Organizers. 
Send for New Price List. 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEACO. 
P. 0. Bax 6643. 3i & 33 Vesey St., New York 
PRE88ED TIN-WARE. 
Buy no Tin-Wore without 
this Stamp. It is the best. 
IKON CLAD CAN CO., 
23 Cllfl St», Now York. 
If the RURAL PURCHASING 
AGENCY cannot buy goods 
for less and sell goods 
for more money than 
you can yourselves, we 
don’t ask you to deal 
with it. TRY IT! 
RURAL PURCHASING AGENCY, 
78 Duane St„ New York. 
The prospectus of Moore’s Rural Nitw-YORkKR, 
one of the best literary, horticultural and agricul¬ 
tural Journals published In this or any other coun- 
tay, Is Inserted in another column. The merits of 
this excellent Weekly, as set forth in the advertise¬ 
ment, are not exaggerated. Indeed, the paper pos¬ 
sesses numerous admirable qualities which the tal¬ 
ented publisher does not mention-—York Pennsytva- 
I nian. 
GEO. A. PRINCE & CO., 
Organs & II clod eons. 
The Oldest, Largest ana Most Perfect Manufactory 
in the United States. 
55,000 
Now in use. 
No other Musical Instrument ever obtained the 
same Popularity, 
ty Send for Price-Lists. 
Address BUFFALO, N. Y. 
WOLCOTT BROS 
Real Estate and Loan Brokers, 
Cor. Summit and Monroe Sts., 
TOLEDO, 0. 
Keal Estate purchased, managed and sold on com¬ 
mission. Large properties and manufacturing estab¬ 
lishments u specialty. Money loaned on Beal Estate. 
All money and papers remitted through banks. 
CORRESPONDENCE SOLICITED. 
CO. or ^ 
Branch Ojtmuk and Factory: 
606 WEST ST .NEW YORK. 
No. ‘.£10 Souili ;M Si., Si. Louie, Mo. 
No. S3 Weal Vun Hureu Si., Chicago, III. 
AND A WHOLESALE DEPOT AT 
Win. King A iiro., No. - North Liberty St,, 
Baltimore, i>Id. 
Any Shade from Pure W hite to Jet Black. 
A combination of the purest paint with India Rub¬ 
ber. forming a SMOOTH. OLOSBY, PIMM, DURABLE. 
ELASTIC and BEAUTIFUL Paint, unaffected by change 
of temperature, is perfectly water-proof, and adapt¬ 
ed to ail classes of work, and i» in every way a better 
paim for either inside or outside painting than any 
wilier paint In the world. Being from one-third to 
one-fourth cheaper and lasting at least three times 
ns long ns the bust lead and oil paints. 
Be sure that our TRADE MARK (a lac simile of which 
is given above,) is on every package. 
Prepared ready for use and sold by the gallon only. 
There has never been a palm offered the public 
that lias become so popular (in the same time) and 
given «» perfect satisfaction as the Rubber Paint. 
W ANTED IMMEDIATELfP 
A few more young men and women to learn Book W 
keeping Penman ship, &?. .to fill positions at a sal- 1 
ary of $800 to »1 BOO per year. Salary paid while I 
learning Situations guaranteed. Address w ith A 
Stamp M. W. Cobb. Pres. Bus. Coll., Painesville.O. ■ 
(CIRCULAR.) 
Consumers Importing Tea 
No. 8 Church Street. 
P. O. Box 5,»09. New York 
‘a Co., ) 
k City. ) 
This is a combination of capitalists to supply the 
consumers of Teas throughout the United State? on 
the mutual principle. 
We have experienced agents in nil the best dis¬ 
tricts of China and Japan to select Teas especially 
for our trade. 
We expect every consumer of Teas 'o render us ad 
the assistance they can In carrying out our enter¬ 
prise, as we make u specialty of SUPPLYING CON¬ 
SUMERS ONLY (and allow no middlemen to make 
any profit on our importations), wnich wUI enable 
us to supply them with Teas at prices lower than 
have ever been known, and of those fine qualities 
thrt seldom reach the interior, being sold only to 
the large cities and among the very wealthy. 
Hoping the consumer will take an interest in our 
enterprise, and send at once for a circular with full 
explanations of how to proceed to obtain our goods, 
we remain, 
. Most respectfully yours. 
Consumers Importing Tea Co., 
No. 8 Church St., 
P. O. Box 5,309. New York City. 
Entered, according to Act of Congress, In January, 
1874, by the Consumers Importing Tea Co., In th e 
Office of the Librarian of Congress, Washington, D.C. 
