t&tit and gtnnoij. 
SPARKS AND BPLINTERS. 
A handicap—A capful of money. 
Hot springs—Jumping rope In July. 
All rowing races have their pull backs. 
An unsatisfactory find—fined $5 and costs. 
Wine and cider Illustrate the power of the 
press. 
An inside dental expense—Having a tooth 
filled. 
Jockeys find life up-hill work—nothing but 
mounts. 
When a man is second to none he might just 
as well be first. 
Milkmen are spending their leisure hours at 
watering places. 
Lovers will he pleased to learn that August 
will have two moons. 
Abraham was the first- sick man. He had 
Hagar In the wilderness. 
A bereaved Wisconsin father “ would rath¬ 
er have lost $50 than t hat boy.” 
Vou can't speak in a balloon without having 
high words, but it is death to fall out. 
A new paper is to be started at Elijah, Ga. 
They will try to keep it from going up. 
Going up in a balloon is not particularly haz¬ 
ardous. The danger is in coming down. 
The Black Hills are spokett of as a place 
where men go in miners and come out minus. 
“Matches are made in Heaven, and that,” 
says Paddy, “ accounts for their tinder passion.” 
The usefulness of grasshoppers has at last 
been found. The brewers arc after their hops. 
It is a woman's duty to be four weeks clean¬ 
ing house, no matter if she could do it in three 
days. 
It appears that coining copper is not profit¬ 
able. The government has not made a half 
cent since 1857. 
Mark Twain denies that his “Gilded Age’’ 
was a fa'lure. II« says it gave a poor, worthy 
bookbinder a job.” 
“ Are there any fools in this city?” asked a 
stranger of u newsboy. “No : do you feel lone¬ 
some?" was the reply. 
Father McGitffjn was a jolly wag. He 
climbed to the top of a church-tower, and said, 
“ Now I am a high priest." 
A certain young lady Is so modest that she 
will not permit the Christian Observer to re¬ 
main in her room over night. 
Grindstones are considered sufo property to 
invest in ; because if you cannot sell them for 
cash, you can always turn them. 
A contemporary speaks of a fashionable 
tailor as being “one of the old war-horses of 
the age.” A “ heavy charger ” we suppose. 
At a recent wedding In Ohio the minister was 
about to salute the bride, when Bhe stayed him 
with, “No mister, I give up them vanities now I" 
On the door of a butcher's shop in Pennsyl¬ 
vania is the following inscription: “Kash 
pade for little Halves not mourn two daze old.” 
“Is this the last of your houses which you 
have .offered for rent?” asked a citizen of a 
landlord. “ Yes, last but not leased,” was the 
reply. 
A man in Illinois broke into the house of a 
widow. She pitched hiRi out of doors. A 
striking evidence of the power of a widow's 
might. 
A French writer says not one American in 
ten has a handsome chin. But in nine cases 
out of ten, what he lacks in chin Is made up in 
cheek. 
A crusty old bachelor explains that the 
reason a woman puts a finger in her mouth 
when she thinks is because she cannot talk and 
think too. 
xiy 
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HOW TO CATCH FISH. 
This is the true story of Smither’s big catch of trout: Hon-“Let ye hev the hull 
lot, an say ye ketched ’em, fur a dollar!” and Smithers accepted the offer. 
WILLARD’S 
PRACTICAL BUTTER BOOK, 
NOW READY AT THIS OFFICE. 
Every Farmer and everv Family where 
Butter is made should have this book for con¬ 
stant reference. It is * 
and is replete with 
PRACTICAL HINTS, 
SUGGESTIONS, 
and INFORMATION 
lr a dog’s tail Is cut off entirely, will It not 
interfere with his locomotion ?” “ Not exactly; 
it will not affect his carriage, but It will stop his 
waggin*." 
Wk are constantly told that evening wore on, 
but what the evening wore on such occasions 
we are not Informed. Was it the close of a 
summer’s day? 
It ECTOR— Those pigs of yours are in fine con¬ 
dition, Jarvis. Jarvis—Yes Sur, they be. Ah, 
Sur, if we wos all on us ou’y as fit to die as 
them are, Sur, we’d do ! 
A Western paper says “it’s only twenty 
years since the first log cabin was erected in 
Burlington, Iowa, and it contains 20,000 inhabi¬ 
tants.” A large cabin ! 
A PERSON pretending to have seen a ghost, 
was asked what the apparition said to him. 
“ How should I know ?" he replied; “ I am not 
skilled in the dead languages.” 
It is pathetically deplored at ihc West that 
the terribly cold weather has killed thousands 
of quail and prairie chickens which might other¬ 
wise have beeu comfortably shot. 
Says an exchange“ A Wisconsin cow came 
home the other night with a bag or gold on her 
horn. And now, how did that cow come by 
that gold ?" Why, she hooked it, of course. 
Youth— “ Gran’pa, what’s the meaning of 
glass of port wine from the wood ’ ?” Gran’¬ 
pa (gentleman of the old school)—" Logwood, 
my deal 1 boy, nowadays 1 Logwood! Logwood I” 
of value to every one who makes Butter. It 
contains 171 pages, in which the subject is 
treated both scientifically and popularly. 
Among the new topics of interest, and which 
heretofore have not been presented to the pub¬ 
lic are: Prof. Wilkinson’s plan for controlling 
temperature in dairy rooms; the Swedish sys¬ 
tem of setting milk for cream in ice water; 
the new practice adopted at the Ridge Mills 
Creamery, and the recent method for improv¬ 
ing skimmed milk in skimmed-cheese manu¬ 
facture. These are very fully discussed. 
Sent, post-paid, upon receipt of 81. 
Address 
RURAL PUBLISHING CO„ 
78 Duane St„ New York. 
(CIRCULAR.) 
Consnmers Importing Tea Co.,) 
No. 8 Church Street. r 
P. O. Box 5,500. New York City. ) 
This is a combination of capitalists to supply the 
consumers of Teas throughout tho United States on 
the mutual principle. 
W© have experienced agents In all the best dis¬ 
tricts of China and Japan to select Teas especially 
for our trade. 
We expect every consumer of Teas ‘o render us ail 
the assistance they can In carrying out onr enter¬ 
prise, as we make a specialty of SUPPLYING CON- 
SUM EU? ONLY land allow no middlemen to make 
any profit on our Importations), woich will enable 
us to supply them with Teas at prices lower than 
have ever been known, and of those fine qualities 
thet seldom reach the interior, being sold only to 
the large cities and among the very wealthy. 
Hoping the consumer will take an interest Incur 
enterprise, and send atone© for a circular with full 
explanations of how to proceed to obtain our goods, 
we remain, 
Most respectfully yours. 
Consumers Import ini' Tea Co., 
No. S Church St., 
P. O. Box 5,309. New York City. 
according to Act of Congress, in January, 
1874, by the Consumers Importin’-- Tea Co., in the 
OQice of the Librarian of Congress, Washington, D.C. 
649 Acres 
Heavily timbered land, three miles from station on 
loledo.Mabash A Western Railway. Timber, white 
and red oak and ash. Price, f iO per acre. 
WOLCOTT B It OS., 
Real Estate Brokers, Toledo, Ohio. 
GREAT REDUCTION. 
TEAS AND COFFEES 
AT WHOLESALE PRICES. 
Increased Facilities to Club Organizers. 
Send for New Price List. 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA CO, 
P. O. Box 5643. 3i & 33 Vesey St„ Ne w York 
Buy the CHARTER OAK LAWN MOWER. 
THE WEED 
Claim to have brought out the best Sewing Machine 
for manufacturing uses ever produced. 
IT IS CALLED THE 
IT IS VERY STRONG, 
VERY SIMPLE, 
VERY EFFECTIVE, 
AND PERFECTLY SATISFACTORY TO ALL 
WHO HAVE TRIED IT. 
Testimonials furnished on application. Examina¬ 
tion solicited. 
Address as above, at 
1IASTFORD, CONN., 
Or at Branch Offices in all leading cities. 
I* a day guaranteed using our Well 
tti. 9 Auger Sl Drills. $100 a mouth 
VUI a M paitTto good Agents. Auger book 
NP free. JUz Auger Co., St. Louis, Mo. 
CENJ) FOR CIR'TLAtt of the best Paint in 
£5 the world to RUBBER PAINT CO., Cleveland. O. 
10 DOLLARS PER DAI 
.. , SHUTTLE Sewing Muchlne. 
Ad.lrns. JOHNSON, CLARK A CO , Bolton, Mno,. ; New York 
City; tMttobnrgb, P» ; Chicago, IlUl or St. LouU, Mo. 
If the RURAL PURCHASING 
AGENCY cannot buy goods 
for less and sell goods 
for more money than 
you can yourselves, we 
don’t ask you to deal 
with it. TRY IT! 
RURAL PURCHASING AGENCY, 
78 Duane St. New York. I 
_3a 
