TREES I TREES!! 
SPAfiKS AND SPLINTERS, 
Foie files—ceiling whacks. 
Vermont's State debt—0. 
Tun place for Infants—Biby-lon. 
“ Days of absence ’’—vacation days. 
Spirits over proof—Printers' devils. 
Si*.} iitsman’s Epitaph.—Game to the last. 
Riflemen should be good men, having good 
ai ins. 
Suggested Burial-place for Brewers.—Ayles¬ 
bury. 
Don’t gamble, young man, don't gamble with 
time. 
Colleges of Farmacy—Agricultural insti¬ 
tutes. 
A kidnapping affair -Catching a young goat 
asleep. 
Ahe not curtain lectures a species of lay 
preaching ? 
Way is a great bore like a tree?—Bulb look 
best when leaving. 
The best kind of wines for veterinary sur¬ 
geons—Bad-bocks. 
Carrying up bricks for masons is a hod way 
of getting a living. 
Men who go out for a “ lark more often 
make it a “ swallow.” 
IS the financial disease now prevailing in 
England the c ollic-ra ? 
Query— Did history over produce a rasher 
man. than Friar Bacon V 
All honest uion will bear watching. It Is the 
rascals who cannot stand it. 
Hugo was about the only Victor that the 
American Team met abroad. 
People who are always wishing for some¬ 
thing new should try neuralgia. 
A pauper's son ought to make a good bal¬ 
loonist, for bo Is a beir o’uaugbt. 
What does the grocer do with all his things 
before be sells them ? Gives them a weigh. 
WHY might carpenters believe there is no 
such thing as stone? Because they uever saw 
ELLWANGER A BARRY, 
,t liO<nl>TKK, N. 
Mount Hoyt A arytn 
(CIRCULAR.) 
Consumers Importing Tea Co., ) 
No, 8 Church Street. r 
P. O. Box 5,500. New York City. ) 
This is a combination of capitalists to supply the 
consumers of Teas throughout the United States ou 
the mutual principle. 
We have experienced agents in all the best dis¬ 
tricts of China and Japan to select Teas especially 
for our trade. 
We expect every consumer of Teas *o render us ml 
Die assistance they can in carrying out our enter¬ 
prise. as we make a specialty of SUPPLYING CON¬ 
SUMERS ONLY (and allow no middlemen to make 
any profit on our Importation*), wnieh will enable 
us to supply them with Teas at prices lower than 
have ever been known, and of those tine qualities 
tht t seldom reach the interior, being sold only to 
the large cities and among the very wealthy. 
Hoping the consumer will take un interest in our 
enterprise, and send at once for a circular with full 
explanations of how to proceed to obtain our goods, 
we remain, 
Most respectfully yours, 
Oonsumers Importing Tea Co., 
No. 8 Church 8t„ 
P. O. Box 5,309. New Xovli City. 
Entered, according to Act of Congress, In January, 
1874, by the Consumers Importing Tea Co., in the 
Office of the Librarian of Congress, Washington, D.C, 
— - V-'. 
ImiimiiiibUiU 
TRUE MOTHERLY SOLICITUDE. 
“Mow fond you see in of that eternal old doll of yours, Mabel ?” 
“O, Aunt, it lias been the desire of all my life to hide it from her that she s a doll 
I hope she didn’t hear you I” 
FOE SALE. SKSritff 
* VwJL*. k/aa i toohnnd products; 
aituute 30 utiles from St. Paul and Mnoo npolis, tivo 
miles from Rail Road Station. One hundred and 
sixty cores of lino meadow, abundance of limber, 
excellent water. Kutter factory In successful opera 
tiou, with engine for churning, heating, Ac. Hutu r 
contracted tun present season at .hc.s. v ft. Stock 
Consists ot 80 cows. 2 blood bulls, horses, calves, and 
hogs. Will be sold with or without stock and pro¬ 
ducts. Sul! well adapted to growing hops, A rare 
chance for a practical farmer or uairyman. Term-. 
$8,000 down, balsnee ou time. For mrthcr part tul ,r» 
address Box !)OfS, Si’. PAUL, WINS. 
Perhaps the thinness of Joaquin Miller’s 
legs accounts for the lameness in some of his 
lines. 
No young lady who values her happiness will 
marry a widower until at least his first wife is 
dead. 
Indiana girls; delight In wrestling matches, 
and the enamored swains .cry out, “Give us a 
wrest.” 
A new dootor has made his appearance at 
Potnpey, New York. Tney call him Pompey’s 
pill-er. 
Some people act as If their printing debts were 
like coffee, and would settle themselves by 
slandlug. 
The misery felt bv the child wbo couldn’t go 
to tne picnic, is nothing to that.of one wbo has 
been to it. 
A short bog crop is predicted; but we don’t 
the short hog isn’t as good as the 
FARM for SALE. 
Fine Stork lai ru of 400 acres in Atchison Co , Kan¬ 
sas: near railway; convenient to schools, churches, 
,vc.: only 80miles froth Atchison, the railway center 
ot Kansas; most Improvements made in lb'll. Large 
new house l good outbuildings: one mile of new 
board fence; Li aero* under plow; 2a coins timber 
laud (timber oak, walnut, hickory, Ao.l: crock on 
place, also line spring; 2 mV acres bottom land; 100 
uert- up.and: fine quarry of magnesium lime rock 
on the premises. Pri e JHJ.CM). Terms, SI,OtU cash, 
bulunee, three payments of $<l.hOti each. Or will take 
small fruit t arm in Now Jersey. Muryiunc, or Dela¬ 
ware, worl it FUiOU to ¥<i,000 and $3,000 cash a* first 
DU) mom, Dig tmlanco to be in twoumiuul payments: 
deferred payments to be secured b. mortgage. This 
property Is worth the attention of stock men, being 
near the large cities ol the state. Correspondence 
solicited and carrfutly answered. 
WOLCOTT HBOS., „ 
Iteul Let me Brokers, Toledo, Ohio. 
know that 
other kind, 
I SPELL 
coffee. I k 
Josh Wlltntih. 
The first symptoms of cholera morbus are ex¬ 
ceeding doubt and perplexity in the vicinity of 
the stomach. 
What’s the use of being afraid of burglars? 
Just jump out and yell and the thief will jump 
out and skedaddle. 
There is nothing bo well calculated to make 
a person contented with staying home, as going 
away for a few days. 
Why must the letter “ d ” he the most won¬ 
derful letter in the alpbabet?-Bacause it is the 
centre of “ wonders.” 
There are many drawbacks in this world. 
Chief among them is the present fashion of 
wearing ladles skirts. 
** For ever) evil under the sun 
There is a remedy, or there is none; 
If there bo one, try and find it— 
If there be none, never mind it." 
Never waste a ily in huckleberry season. Olie 
iiy in a plate of huckleberries contains more 
nutriment than three berries. 
The pin-hack dresses are good in a gale of 
wind. It Is not true, however, that the ladies 
have to grease them to get them on. 
TWO rival belies met at a Long Branch hop 
last week. " How well you look under candle 
light?" exclaimed one. “And how charming 
you are In the dark?" said the other. 
Scotch view of kissing .* 
Oh. if it wasua lawl’u’, 
Lnwj ers wndna ulloo it; 
If it wushu holy, 
Ministers wadna due it. 
It It wasua modest. 
Maidens wadna tak it, 
If it, wasua plenty, 
Fair folk cauldna get it, 
“Six feet in his stockings!” exclaimed Mrs. 
Partington. “ Why Ike has only two In his, and 
I can never keep ’em darned at that.” 
Good conundrum for young ladies to practice 
on! When will the alphabet have only 35 
letters ? When you and I are made one. 
] 7iOU SALE CHEAP. 1.100 ACltES OF 
line farm land, at Brandy Station, In Culpeper 
Co.. Vn.; I'D! ucruti in grass. 3 '.‘acres stump land, bal¬ 
ance* in cultivation, o. & A. It. It. divides the farm; 
.Vi miles from Alexander. situui Ion high and healthy 
improved bv good farm dwellings and outhouses. 
N. RUFFS GIM,. Trustee. Baltimore, Md. 
Claim to have brought out the best Sewing Machine 
for manufacturing uses ever produced. 
IT IS CALLED THE 
iJ - l i ll 111 I'll 1-8 Muopyoo (.'Hi'BCitICU ADI UIUPM.ni VUVVi nuu vapi’ ^' 7,ri ...... ■» » KU 
r uuil Professional, and an ornament in any parlor. Hf AUTIfUl HEW STYLES HOW READY. 
GEO. WOODS CO., 
Oa,mT3rlcl»oport, Mass. 
DOS Washington St., Boston; 170 State St., Chicago. 111.; 28 Ludgate mil, London. 
N A—A Leading Musical Journal of Selected Music and Valuable Heading matter 
r $1 pur yuitr, or 10 uuDtd & number. Each number contains from t* to worth ol 
iclected music. GEO. WOODS & CO., Publishers, Cnmbrldgeport, Mass. 
ALLEN’S 
AMERICAN CATTLE 
GREAT REDUCTION. 
TEAS AND COFFEES 
AT WHOLESALE PRICES. 
Increased Faculties to Club Organizers. 
Send for New Price List. 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA CO. 
P. O. Box 5C43. 8i & 33 Vesey 8t„ New York 
THEIR HISTORY, BREEDING AND 
MANAGEMENT. 
IT IS VERY STRONG, 
VERY SIMPLE, 
VERY EFFECTIVE, 
AND PERFECTLY SATISFACTORY TO ALL 
WHO HAVE TRIED IT. 
Testimonials furnished on application. Examina¬ 
tion solicited. 
Address as above, at 
11AKTFOKD, CONN., 
Or at Branch Offices In all leading cities._ 
Every breeder or owner of Cattle should have thli 
work by Hon. Lewis F. Allen, Ex-Pre«t. N. Y. 8; a« 
Aa. Sooietv, Editor of “ American Bhort-Horn Here 
Book," Ac., Ac. It. Is * handsomely Illustrated anc 
well prime and bound volume of 623 duodecimi 
pages. Mailed, post-paid, to any address in I. iiltec 
States or Canada on reoa.pt of reduced prioe, $2, 
Addrata 
O. D. T. MOORE. w . 
78 Duane »Li N. If. 
TO #10,000 lias been invested In Stock 
8.1 W Privileges, and paid 900 per cert, profit. 
How to Dn It," a book on Wall St., sent free. 
TFMB1DDGE & CO., Bankers, 2 Wall St., N. Y. 
Tue Rural Nlw-Yomtek. founder*, by D. D. T. 
Moore, in one of tue best, it not the bent, agricul¬ 
tural papers published in tills country. We certainly 
know or none which *o exactly fills our idea of u 
i iaper for the farmer ami In* fireside ns does t his 
ijunial. Mr. MOORE aims to make the Rural such 
a jin per as shall delight the hospitable housekeeper. 
f ive instruction and amusement to the young, and 
arnlsh plcilsfint reading to all whether in country 
or town. Taking Dm last Issue as a spedi,nm num¬ 
ber, vfecao truly Miy U ruinila all these conditions, 
arid Heartily commend it to all.—Dense (A. .Li Mail. 
In making up fists of newspapers lor lfifS, we hope 
our farmer-friends will not overlook Dial “old stand¬ 
by,” The Uctra r. New-Yorker, founded and still 
conducted by D. D. T. MOORg, New York. No better 
Journal or Its class la published anywhere. Join the 
Club now being made up at the Post-Office ut oulj 
$2.15 a year.—Lyons Republican. 
MooitB’a Rural New-Yorker is neither dead 
nor asleep, but still goes forth on its weekly visits to 
Interest, instruct and amuse its many thousands ol 
subscribers, as it has done during the past twenty- 
four years, with its mites and essays on agriculture, 
horticulture, gardening, floriculture, and general 
science ; its news, stories, punkles. Jokes, etc., suited 
lo the tastes uniUnecessttles of young and oJd, of ail 
grades in society.— LetloV Gazette 
Moore’S Rural New-Yorker.— 1 This king of Ag¬ 
ricultural papers has mitered upon its twenty-sixth 
year, under the most favorable auspices. It is the 
determination of It* publishers to furnish a brighter 
and bettor paper than ever. In style, type, tmu ter 
and 1 editorial ability, there is no paper of its kind 
that at all compares with it.— Trmvudjca u (B.s.) 
Republican, 
0 
