MOORE’S RURAL NEW-YORKER. 
SEPT. If 
IMPROVED. 
2 to 8 H. P. Cheapest flrst- 
clars Engine In market. Send 
for new Circular. 
L. G. SKINNER, 
Erie, Pa. 
SPARKS AND SPLINTERS, 
A man of parts—The balr-dresaer. 
What's In a name—Pour letters. 
Votive offerings—Election bribes. 
A CRT sure to stop a buss—Mamma’s looking. 
Aristocratic seaside amusement—Sitting on 
a peer. 
A good place for ladies to stay—at the corset- 
maker’s. 
It Is not fare to pass a counterfeit nlckle in 
an omnibus. 
The most cutting remarks are made by the 
bluntest man. 
A Broadway sign reads “ Hands wanted on 
pockot books.” 
Tue way to meet a man of doubtful credit is 
to take no note of him. 
I* it any proof that logic has legs because It 
always stands to reason ? 
Strong drink is not only the devil’s way into 
man, but man’s way to the devil. 
JoNKa says be loves two charming girls— 
Jenny ltosity and Annie Mation. 
Maine honey dealers prophesy that this will 
be an excellent year for beesness. 
There Is one bloek In Detroit without a 
female gossip. It la a vacant block. 
For thin people to get suddenly fat—step on 
a banana peel and come dawn plump. 
Not all the ex-prealdents are gone, our young 
friend. There's J. Davis, for Instance. 
Tna weather just, now Is dubious, but It Is not 
such a dubious as we would bo done by. 
W hat Is that which every one can divide, but 
no one can see where It is divided ?—Water. 
Oregon has a town named l’ay Up, and they 
are talking of calling It Soe-you-to-morrow. 
“ My husband,” says a lady, “ is the most even- 
tempered person in the world—he is always 
mad.” 
Man never is but always to be blest, says 
Pope. Yet how often you hear a man say “I’m 
blest.” 
A KissThe twenty-seventh letter of the 
alphabet—the love label which it takes two to 
speak plainly. 
You occasionally meet a man In this world 
whoso word Is as good as his bond, and both 
are worthless. 
When Is a hen not Joking? When she's In 
’er-neat. When Is she all at sea? When she’s 
In the hatchway. 
Capet Smith colored, etc., has Just been 
married. Thoro is no kind of trouble that this 
youug man is afraid of. 
A Chicago alderman recently refused $1,000 
for hia vote, W« hasten to add, however, that 
he got $2,000 from the other aide. 
We are glad to learn that Senator Jones Is 
in Connecticut, ** visiting his wife.” It Is a good 
idea for one to visit, one’s wife occasionally. 
“ I don’t want vour paper any longer,” wrote 
a subscriber to an editor. To which the editor 
replied, “ I wouldn’t make It any longer If you 
did.” 
He fondly hoped It would have been a boy, 
but It wasn’t, mid ever since then he’s been 
wringing his hands atjd murmuring. “A lass, 
a lass.” 
You can get a wife in some parts of Indiana 
for twenty-five cents; but remember, young 
man ! it costs several hundred dollars to get a 
divorce. 
Mrs, Mary Vaughn of Williamson county, 
Tens., is a 100 years old, and yet nobody, men¬ 
tions tier either for goevrnor or president. Is 
this fair? 
A Sprinoviuld man recently toflk a bath in 
the dark. He managed well enough, only he 
got hold of a piece of stove-blacking instead of 
soap, with marked results. 
An applicant for u pair of hoots at a shoe 
shop was linked what number he wore, and 
replied, a.*- soon ns ho could recover from his 
surprise, “ why two, of course." 
That was a shrewd method which an Iowa 
girl recently adopted to induce all her friends 
to attend her wedding. She didn’t let them 
know up to the last minute who the groom was 
to be. 
* ill’ wrote and told her he would lie around at 
8 o'clock in the evening, concluding his note 
with the follow!ugoouplet: 
“With breath us sweet as roses 
TUou’lt breathe upon me, love.” 
And she coldly answered You’d better not 
come. We had onions in the soup, to-day." 
The i no with soft blue eyes and rosy Ups 
first 
Darling one with soft blue eyes 
looking flown at me 
Like the heaven so hrightand blue 
Who was it darling but thee 
second 
Darling one wdb sweet red Ups 
as sweet as they can be 
O sweet so sweet they are to me 
third 
Darling one with soft brown hair 
streaming down in a golden flood 
Like our own beautiful Mississippi rose bud 
(CIRCULAR.) 
Consumers Importing Tea Co., 
No. 8 Church Street. 
P. O. Bor 5,500. New York City. 
This Is a combination of capitalists to supply the 
consumers of Teas throughout the United States on 
the mutual principle. 
Wo have experienced agents in all the best dis¬ 
tricts of China and Japan to select Teas especially 
for our trade. 
We expect every consumer of Teas *o render us ail 
the assistance they can in carrying out our enter¬ 
prise, as we make a specialty of SUPPLYING CON- 
SUM KKS ONLY (and allow no middlemen to make 
any profit on onr Importations), wnich will enable 
us to supply them with Teas at prices lower than 
have ever been known, and of those floe qualities 
thrt seldom reach the Interior, being sold only to 
the large cities and among the very wealthy. 
Hoping the consumer will take an interest In our 
enterprise, and send at once for a circular with full 
explanations of how to proceed to obtuln our goods, 
we remain, 
Most respectfully yours, 
€onsnmers Importing Tea Co., 
No. S Church St., 
P. O. Box 5,300. New York City. 
Entered, according to Act of Congress, in Janaary, 
1874, by the Consumers Importing Tea Co., In the 
081 ce of the Librarian of Congress. Washington, D.C. 
FARM for SALE. 
WANTS TO TKXPKRINXKNT. 
O—er— Jarvis— would you mind pretending to pick a quarrel with me, and just giving 
me a push, you know ? 1 want to test the pluck of this big dog of mine. 
Fine Stock farm of 400acres in Atchison Co,, Kan¬ 
sas; near railway; convenient to school*, churches, 
&c.: only 2u miles from Atchison, the railway center 
ol Kansu*. most Improvements made in 1874. Large 
new house; good outbuildings; one mile of uew 
board fence; 75 acres under plow; 2o acres Umber 
land (Umber oak, walnut, hickory. Ac.i; creek on 
place, also fine spring; 255 acres bottom Und, 100 
acres n pi a ml j Hue quairy of magnesium lime rock 
on the premises. Prt o $10,000. lonm,, *4,0C0 cash, 
balance, three payments or f'i.tjOO cac-b. Or will lake 
small fruit larm in New Jersey, Maryluna, or Dela¬ 
ware, wurth $2.fsig to ¥3.l»J0 and B3.UOO cash as first 
payment, the balance to be In two annuu) payments; 
deferred r,a, merits to be secured b, mortgage. This 
property Is worth the attention of stock men, being 
near the large cities of the State. CiOrrspOntirnce 
solicited and carejully aniwend. 
WOLCOTT UR DM., 
Real Estate Broker*, Toledo, Ohio. 
THE 
Best Proportioned, 
Best Ironed, 
AND 
Lightest Running 
Wagon i n’t lie Market 
The original , well 
known 
BAOINE WAGON 
In use and for sale In 
uearly every 
State and Territory 
IN THE UNION. 
All work fully war¬ 
ranted. 
SEND FOR PRICE 
LIST. 
Mitchell, Lewis 
& Co.,' 
RACINE, AVIS. 
l?OR MALE CIIEAl*.-1,400 ACRES OF 
A fine farm laud, at Hrandy Station, In Culpeper 
Co., Vu.; W)0 acres In grass, 300 acres stump land, bal¬ 
ance in cultivation. O. & A. It. R. divides the farm; 
55miles from Alexander; situation high and healthy 
improved by good farm dwellings and outhouses. 
N. HULLS GlLl,, Trustee, Baltimore, Aid. 
GREAT REDUCTION. 
TEAS AND COFFEES 
AT WHOLESALE PRICES. 
Increased Facilities to Club Organizers, 
Send for New Trice List. 
rHE GREAT AMERICANTEACO. 
P. O. llox 5843. 3i & 33 Vesey St., New York 
Claim to have brought out the best Sewing Machine 
for manufacturing uses ever produced. 
IT 18 called the 
IT IS VERY STRONG, 
VERY’ SIMPLE, 
VERY EFFECTIVE, 
AND PERFECTLY SATISFACTORY TO ALL 
WHO HAVE TRIED IT. 
Testimonials furnished on application. Examina¬ 
tion solicited. 
Address as above, at 
HARTFORD, CO.TM., 
Or at Branch Offices in all leading cities. 
These remarkable instruments possess capacities for musical effect and expression never before attained. 
Adapted lor Amateur and Professional, and au ornament in any parlor. BEAUTIFUL HEW STILES HOW READY. 
GEO. WOODS tfc CO., 
Camtsriciseport, Mass. 
WARKROOMS:—60S Washington St., Boston: 170 fitute St,, Chicago, Ill.; 28 Ludgnte Hill, London. 
\T fl V H IT M a N A - A Leading Musical Journal of Selected Music and Valuable Reading matter 
V 11 A mail for Si per year, or 10 cents a number. Each number contains from |I2 to S3 worth of 
’ w tluest selected music. GEO. WOODS & CO., Publishers, Cumbrldgeport, Mass. 
END FOR CIRCULAR of the best Paint in 
the world to RUBBER PAINT CO., Cleveland, O. 
The Rural New-Yokkku, founded by D. D. T. 
Moore, is one of the best, If not the best, agricul¬ 
tural papers published in tills country. We certainly 
know of none which so exactly fills our idea of a 
paper for the farmer and his fireside as does this 
Journal. Mr. Mookk aims to make the Rural such 
a paper as shall delight the hospitable housekeeper, 
give instruction and nmusemeril t t , the young, anil 
furnish pleasant reading lo all whether in country 
or town. Taking the Iasi Issue at a specimen num¬ 
ber, we can truly say It fulfills all those conditions, 
and heartily commend It to all.— Jjimr (A. 
Mookm’s Rural New-Yorker, conducted by 
our Jolly friend, Hon. D. D. T. MooitE, leads all the 
papers of Its cla ss in this country. It is edited with 
great care and has a large variety of interesting and 
instructive departments for the family and tne fire¬ 
side. Convenient iu form, remarkably neat In typog¬ 
raphy, abounding in timely illustrations, and well 
filled with the choicest of matter, both original and 
selected, It has no superior in its peculiar sphere.— 
onkors Gazette. 
ANTED IMMEDIATEU 
A few more youngmen and women to learn Book 
keeping, Penmansbip,<£c.,to fill positions at a sal¬ 
ary eftsoo to tlWO pier year. Salary paid while 
learning Situations guaranteed Address with 
stamp Jt. W.Cobh, Pres. Bus. CoLl., PairieiVtlle.O. 
UY WILLARD’S 
PRACTICAL BUTTER BOOK 
