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Trained for a successful start in Business Life, taught how to 
Enterprising, Useful Citizens. EASTMAN BUSINESS CO 
264 
©ST. 46 
SSEit and Humq. 
SPARKS AND SPLINTERS. 
For a young man to owe many men. Is an ill 
omen. 
A man’s word Is worth just $1 In gold when 
sent by cable. 
liv the way, a “blind ’’ window doesn’t need 
a window blind. 
It Is better to have a cuff on a lady’s jacket 
than on your oar. 
The effects of a hurricane are sufficient to 
make any man feel blew. 
Epitaph on a child’s grave. Methusaleh 
Wallace, aged Li mouths. 
“ Why Is dew like a falling star?” One Is mist 
in earth, and the other missed from heaven. 
Why is the letter q the handiest In the alpha¬ 
bet'/ Because when It's In use you always find 
It before u. 
Why should you be justified In picking the 
pockets of a vender of engravi ngs ? Because he 
has pict-ures. 
When a naughty little boy breaks a window 
he should lie punished, on the principle that 
panes and penalities go together. 
Isn’t it strange that while Nature clothes 
the trees with thick foliage In the summer, she 
makes them go bare In the winter. 
A crackling fire—pan of apples—girl anxious 
to he loved—old folks dreaming—ah 1 who said 
he wanted summer to last a thousand years. 
It is hard to tell which will bring the most 
pleasant expression Into a woman's face—to 
tell her that her baby Is heavy or her bread 
light. 
“ I bay Jim, which would yo u rather, that a 
lion tore you in pieces or a tiger ?" “ Why you 
goose, of course I’d rather a Hon tore a tiger In 
pieces. 
“ Ik Smith undertakes to pull my ears,” said 
Jones, “ lie will just have his his hands full, 
now.” The crowd looked at the man’s ears, 
and thought so too. 
An Irishman quarreling with an Englishman, 
told him if ho didn't hold his tongue, be would 
break bis Impenetrable head and let the brains 
out of his empty skull. 
George, dear, don't you think it rather ex¬ 
travagant of you to eat butter with that delici¬ 
ous jam? No love—economical! Same piece 
of bread docs for both 1 
An Englishman, Is trying to find out, you 
know, Why the double bass viol player of an 
orchestra la always bald-headed. Perhaps It is 
because the leading violin takes the ’air. 
A gk. vn .km AN when making his will, added a 
clause that Ibis wife should re-tnarry, which be 
explained, was to assure that there should be 
one person at least daily to deplore bis death. 
A Wisconsin paper has this personal Item: 
“Those who know nice old Mr. Wilson of this 
place will regret to hear that he was assaulted In 
a brutal manner last week, but was not killed.” 
An old gentlemen with a kind but determined 
look on his tace saidThe next time that 
boy refuses to go on an errand I will go for 
him.” The boy heard of the kind offer and 
concluded to go as told. 
The notable man who has not, this season, 
either delivered an address at an agricultural 
fair or been invited to deliver one, has either 
signally failed in bis duty to his country or 
been grievously slighted. 
The newspapers stute that a well known 
banker of Paris has absconded, leaving a deficit 
behind. Mrs. Ptrtlngton thinks that was very 
good of him to leave It, when he might have 
got off clear with everything. 
A lawyer In rising from his chair suddenly, 
nearly tore off the skirt of his coat; “now,” 
said he, turning to a friend. “ I surely ought 
not to complain of poverty, as I carry my rents 
with me.” “Yes," replied his friend, “but 
they are all in a rear.” 
A negro, being asked what he was in jail for, 
said it Was for borrowing money. “But,” said 
the questioner, ” they don’t put people In jail 
for borrowing money.” “ Yes,” said the darkey, 
“ but 1 hail to knock the man down free or fo’ 
times before he would lend It to me.” 
AN Englishman was boasting2to a Yankee 
that they had a book In the British Museum 
which was once owned by Cicero. “ Oh, that 
ain’t nothin’,” retorted the Yankee; “In the 
museum In Boating they’ve got the lead pencil 
that Noah used to check off the animals that 
went Into the ark.” 
A little fellow, five or six years old, who 
had been wearing undershirts much too small 
for him, after having been washed, was put In¬ 
to another garment as much too large as the 
other had been too small Our six-year-old 
shrugged his shoulders, aud finally burst out 
with. *‘Ma, I do feel awful lonesome in this 
shirt.” 
SPEECH Is a pump, by which we raise up and 
pour out water from the great lake of thought, 
whither It flows back again.— Exchange. 
Tols figure of speech accounts for the thin, 
watery and diluted stuff with which too many 
writers attempt to satisfy their readers. A 
writer, like a milkman, should go out of busi¬ 
ness when he cannot supply his customers with¬ 
out recourse to the pump. 
EXCELSIOR 
WITH BENCH. 
Most practical and complete 
Clothes Wringer now made. Send 
for a Descriptive Circular. 
BAILEY WRINGING MACHINE CO., 
106 Chamber* St., New York. 
STATE IT AIK. INCIDENT. 
Oh 1 Maria ; just see what disgustingly fleshy creatures these are !” 
YOUNG MENS 
11 llGKOiJ , ww 1 . oni? inHtlvUllOll aevoieu ibis tfjlfuiuii j. aiic uiucpi auu pin' UL.II A GMHUCJWHU 
and only one assisting Graduates to positions. UeferB to Patrons aud Graduates In nearly eve>-y city and 
town. New BuUMnoe now open. Applicants enter any day .Address for particulars and catalogue of .LOCO 
Graduates In business, H. G. EASTMAN, LL. TL. Poughkeepsie, N. Y. 
Cady’s Patent Iron Sleigh 
MONEY Reduces the Cost of SJeds and Bobs 
e.ru-T/m/w, 
fl 1 TTTVn Enables every mau to be his own 
\ A y H I mechanic. 
UH I UD. 2 ,000 in use. JVo breakage. 
_I BRADLEY MFG. CO., 
Send for Illustrated Circulur. Syracuse, N. Y. 
S END FOR CIRCULAR of the best Paint In 
the world to RUBBER PA I NT CO., Cleveland, 0. 
V* 9 a day guaranteed using our Weil 
dJ R JI Bs^ Auger &. Drills. $100 a month 
\Ti Rpnldto Rood Agents. Anger book 
■I “ MB ^0 free. JUz Auger Co., St. Louis, Mu, 
1MCACKZZS &L CO.’S 
PATENT BELL TREBLE 
Grand, Square & I i»right Pia no^ 
ppipp ppnilPFn FARM for SALE. 
Hlw/fc IILU U UkU Fine Stock farm of 400 acres In Atchison Co . Kan. 
OF THE 
ROCHESTER, N. Y. 
Finest in Tone I Style and Finish I Warranted 
seven (7) years in any climate. Used over the U. 8. 
and Canada. Praia I ml Mechanics, Merchants, dis¬ 
interested Musicians and the Putille Indorse und rec¬ 
ommend the i-ATKNT BELL TREBLE PIANOS. 
MVIRILL FAINT 
Send for Reduced Price List to the 
AVERILL CHEMICAL PAINT CO., 
32 Hurling Slip, New York, or 
1 32 A; 134 East River St., Cleveland, O. 
New Scale Upright or Boudoir Bell 
Treble Piano, Just Finished. 
Handsome. Compact. Stylish nnd Reasonable Price. 
Agents aud Dealers Increase their business and es¬ 
tablish their reputation by selling them. They please 
and satisfy all. Extra Inducements offered where we 
have no Agents or Pianos. Great abject to write for 
Illustrated Prices and Terms to Wholesale umi Re¬ 
tail Warerooms. Address 
MAC'liljK dL <’0„ 
82 State Si., Rochester, N. Y. 
M AUISTER'S PATENT ARTOPTICON. 
I I The most powerful Magic Lantern ever 
made; with a brilliant Oil Lamp: for 
frT ~aVy~—Home. Sunday School und Lectures, 
>~ ' Siereoptlcons. Ac. Slides at reduced 
prices. A profitable busineu for a man 
with small capital. Catalogues sent on application. 
WM. Y. M'ALLISTKK. 728 Chestnut St., Phila.. Pa. 
JJUY WILLARD’S 
PRACTICAL BUTTER BOOK. 
Now Ready. Price 81. 
Address MOORE’S.RURAL NEW-YORKER, 
78 Duane St„ New York. 
M ore’s Rural New-Yorker, conducted by 
our Jolly friend, Hon. D. D. T. Moore, leads all the 
papers of Its class In this country. It is edited with 
great care and has a large variety of interesting and 
Instructive departments for the family and tne fire¬ 
side. Convenient in form, remarkably neat in typog¬ 
raphy. abounding in timely illustrations, and well 
filled with the choicest of matter, both original and 
selected, it has no superior in its peculiar sphere.— 
Tonkert Gazette. 
(CIRCULAR. 
Consumers Importing Tea Co.,) 
No. 8 Cliurcl* Street. 
P. O. Box 5,509. New York City. ) 
This Is a coniblnationlof capitalistsjto supply the 
consumers of Teas throughout the United States on 
the mutual principle. 
We have experienced agents In all the best dis¬ 
tricts of China and Japan to select Teas especially 
for our trade. 
We expect every consumer of Teas *o render us ail 
the assistance they can In carrying out our enter¬ 
prise, as we make a specialty of SUPPLYING CON. 
SUMKR8 ONLY (and allow no middlemen to make 
any profit on our importations), wnich’wlll enable 
us to supply them with Teas at prices lower thau 
have ever been known, and of those fine qualities 
that seldom reach the interior, being sold only to 
the large cities and among the very wealthy. 
Hoping the consumer will take an interest in our 
enterprise, ana sena ut ODce lor a circular with full 
explanations of how to proceed to obtain our goods, 
we remain, 
Most respectfully yours, 
Consumers Importing Tea Co., 
No. 8 Church St., 
P. O. Box 5,509. New York City. 
Entered, according to Act of Congress, in January, 
1874, by the Consumers Importing Tea Co., in th e 
Office of the Librarian of Congress, Washington, D.C. 
jgUY WILLARD'S 
PRACTICAL BUTTER BOOK. 
Now Ready. Price 81. 
Address MOORE'S RURAL NEW YORKER, 
7b Duane St., New York 
Moore’s Rural New-Yorker.—T his king of Ag¬ 
ricultural papers has entered upon Its twenty-sixth 
year, under the most favorable auspices. It Is the 
determination of its publishers to furnish a brighter 
and better paper than ever. In style, type, matter 
and editorial ability, there is no paper of its kind 
that at all compares with it.—Trempealeau (TUt*.) 
Republican. 
Fine Stock farm of 400 acres lu Atchison Co , Kan¬ 
sas; near railway; convenient to schools, churches, 
Ac.: only 20 miles from Atchison, the railway center 
<>! Kansas: moat Improvements mude in ls74. Large 
now house; g**>u outbuilding*! one mile cl new 
board fencer 7 it acres under plow; 2a acres timber 
land (timber oak, walnut, hickory. Ac.); creek tin 
place, also fine spring; 275 acres bottom land; 100 
acres upiund: fine quarry of mugnesinm lime rock 
on the premises. Prl'e $111,00(1. Terms, 14,0(0 push, 
balance, three payment* of 82,000 each. Or will take 
small fruit farm In New Jersey, Maryland, or Dela¬ 
ware, worth $2,500 lu $3,000 und $0.1)00 cash as first 
payment, the balance to be in two annua) payments; 
deferred payment.*, to bo secured bs mortgage. This 
property !» worth the intention of stock men, being 
near the large cities or the Stute. Correspondence 
solicited and carefully answered. 
WOLCOTT It It OS., 
Real Estate Brokers, Toledo, Ohio. 
GREAT REDUCTION 
TEAS AND COFFEES 
AT WHOLESALE PRICES. 
Increased Facllltlea to Club Organizers. 
Send for New Price List. 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA CO. 
P. O. Box 5643. 3i & 33 Vesey 8 t., New York 
THE WEED 
Claim to have brought out the best Sewing Machine 
for manufacturing uses ever produced. 
IT 18 CAtLEU THE 
IT IS VERY’ STRONG, 
VERY SIMPLE, 
VERY EFFECTIVE, 
AND PERFECTLY SATISFACTORY TO ALL 
WHO HAVE TRIED IT. 
Testimonials furnished on application. Examina¬ 
tion solicited. 
Address as above, at 
HARTFORD, CONN., 
Or at Branch Offices In all leading cities. 
In making up lists of newspapers for 1875, we hope 
our farmer-friends will not overlook that “ old stand¬ 
by,” Thk Kphai. New-Yorker, founded and still 
conducted by D. D. T. Moore. New York. No better 
journal of Its class Is published anywhere. Join the 
Club now being made up at the Post-Office at only 
2.15 a year .—Lyons Republican. 
