**• 
wo R 
it and gmrnrq. 
8PAEK8 AND SPLINTERS. 
Autumn leaves—when winter comes. 
LrFE Is like a sbad-ow how It flies I 
The wandering helresa—The wind lass. 
The rag-gathercra’ trade is picking up. 
A little telegraph talk goes a long way. 
. A TOPKIl’S SOLILOQUY. 
Leaves have tlictr time to fall. 
And ao likewise have I; 
The reason too’s the same— 
Both comes of getting dry. 
But here’s the difference 'twixt them and me— 
I falls more harder and more frequently. 
Moving for a new trial—Courting a second 
wife. 
How did Queen Elizabeth take her pills ? In 
cider. 
The man best sooted to Ills business:—The 
Cblmney-SuTcp. 
A tow-boat will naturally burn qnlckerthan 
any other kind of water craft. 
The wicked flea, whom no man pursueth but 
the righteous, Is ;i» bold as a lion. 
When Is a little girl's arm like an animal? 
When they are a little bare (bear). 
Let any man look sharp for money, and in all 
probability he will g«t women a'so. Then 
there need bo no quostion. 
It is said that lightning never strikes twice 
In the same place, and a man who has been hit 
fairly by It once may rest easy ever after. 
Shakespeare said. “There I* a tide In the 
affairs of men," but It appears to he pretty 
much all tled-back In the affairs of women. 
M «8. Paiunoton wants to know : If It were 
flrst intended that women should drive their 
husbands, why are they put through the bridal 
ceremony ? 
“Some sermonisers,” said Sydney Smith, 
" preach as if sin were to be taken from men as 
Eve was from Adam, by casting them Into a 
deep Bleep." 
A little boy gazing upon an old picture of 
hi« mother, taken in a low dress, remarked, 
“Mamma, you was mos' ready for bed when 
dat plcter was tooken." 
A good hook and a good woman are excellent 
things for those who know justly how to ap¬ 
preciate their value. There are men, however, 
who judge of both from the beauty of the 
covering. 
A dark BY left In charge of a telegraph office 
while the operator went to dinner, beard some 
one cal lover the wires,and began shouting at the 
instrument. "He operator Isn’t yer I’’ The 
noise ceased. 
“ 1 didn't dare tell you, wife, before we were 
married that my teeth are false." “I could 
get along well enough with you, husband, If 
your teeth were the only false thing yon carry 
In your mouth." 
A JjRASHKit editor offers a reward of $5 for 
the best treatise on “How to Make Out-Door 
Life Attractive for the Mosquito.” 
tVe claim the reward. Put that editor out of 
doors. This brief recipe will prove effective. 
“ Or in valley or in mountain. 
With horizon scant or wide, 
Each is by Uls nature tied; 
Scoop handfuls from sea or fountain, 
Be thou poorer, be rhou richer. 
Thou cans'* only fill thy pitcher. 
The Livonia debating club Is to have up till* 
absorbing question: Resolved that women 
are more attractive to the eyes of men than 
money. Who dare take the negative of that 
question In a mixed audience?— IkmsvtUc IV. Y. 
A dvertiscr. 
Pretty Sally Softeyes brought the man she 
loved to the “ poppingpolut," by saying to him, 
while gleams of lovellght shot from her half 
shut eyes, “ I have had two offers of marriage. 
The first did not please me, and as for the 
second, I—I have a superstitious regard for odd 
numbers," 
A woman cured her husband of staying out 
late at nights by going to the door when he 
, e.utie home and whispering through the key¬ 
hole, “Is that you, Wille?" Her husband’s 
name Is John, and he stays at b*rne every night 
now, and sleeps with one eye open and a re¬ 
volver under his pillow. 
Dickens and Thackeray were walking in 
Covont Market one day, when they came to a 
place where there were two piles or oysters in 
a window, one pile being marked nlnepence a 
dozen and the other sixpence a dozen. Thacke¬ 
ray stood With his hands behind him, and said 
to Dickens: “How they must hate each 
other!" 
At the police station:—Judge (to the prison¬ 
er)You were arrested at the very momeut 
you were taking the portemoonaie from the 
gentleman’s pocket." The prisoner—" Yes, Sir; 
but I was going to put It back. My flrst thought 
Is often bad; my second Is often good. The 
policemen who arrested me should have Iwait- 
ed tor my second thought." 
A Danbury deacon nearly captured five boys 
who had been devastating his chestnut trees 
on Sunday afternoon. Shaking his fist after 
their retreating forma, he angrily shouted: 
“ The sneaking little devils I If I had hold of 
’em one minute I’d—,’’ and then suddenly 
e spying his pastor on the scene, he impressive¬ 
ly added, “ I’d pray for them." 
WOLCOTT BROS. 
REAL ESTATE BROKERS, 
52 Summit St., Toledo, Ohio. 
SW Eastern property exchanged for Western and 
Western for Eastern. Correspondence solicited. 
CEND FOR tlUfULAR of the best Paint In 
the world to RUBBER PAINT CO., Cleveland, O. 
THE WEED 
Claim to have brought out the best Sewing Machine 
for manufacturing uses ever produced. 
IT 18 CALLED THE 
NEVER TOO Late to TvTETNTID V 
Sister.—' 1 Tohnny, you must not bring things to be sewed up at this late hour,” 
Johnny .—“ Why, you know, sister dear, ‘it’s never too late to mend.’ ” 
(CIRCULAR. 
Consomers Importing Tea Co.,) 
No. 8 Cliurcli Street, r 
P. O. Box 6,SOP. New York City. ) 
This Isa eombinaiion^of eapttallstsito supply the 
consumers of Teas throughout the United States on 
the mutual principle. 
Wo have experienced «gents in all the best dis¬ 
trict* of China and Japan to select Teas especially 
for our trade. 
We expect every consumer of Tea* to render ns ail 
the assistance they can In carrying out our enter¬ 
prise, as we make a specialty of SUPPLYING CON¬ 
SUMERS ONLY (and allow no middlemen to make 
any proilt on our Importation*), wnichlwtli enable 
us to supply them with Teas at prices towor than 
have ever been known, and of those fine qualitle 
tbr.t seldom reach the interior, being sold only to 
the large cities and among the very wealthy. 
Hoping the consumer will take an interest in onr 
enterprise, and send at ouoe for a circular with full 
explanations of how to proceed to obtain our goods, 
we remain. 
Most respectfully yours, 
Consumers Importing Tea Co., 
WITH BENCH. 
No. S Church St., 
I*. O. Box 5,509. New York City. 
Entered, according to Aci of Congress, in January, 
1874, by the Consumers Importing Tea Co., in the 
Office of the Librarian of Congress, Washington, D.C, 
AIIF.F.N’S imsiver 
y M1CR OXt’OPE.—M(iv<nltlos 10,000 diameters. 
Price $0. Send stamp for Descriptive Circular. 
james w. Queen & co.. 
C01 Broadway, 924 Chestnut St.. 
Now York. Philadelphia. 
ERSAL HOUSEHOLD 
,—Magnifies 10,000 diameters. 
p Most practical and complete 
Clothes Wringer now made. Send 
for a Descriptive Circular. 
BAILEY WRINGING MACHINE CO., 
106 Chambers St., New York. 
UTAGIC LANTERNS,—Catalogues sent on application. 
ItJL Win. 1\ McAllister, 728 Chestnut St., Plilla., Pa. 
GREAT REDUCTION. 
TEAS AND COFFEES 
AT WHOLESALE PRICES. 
Increased Facilities to Club Organizer*. 
Bend for Now Price List. 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA CO. 
P. O. Box 5643. Si & 33 Vesey St., New York 
[Est ablished 18 46 .! J$UY WILLARD’S 
J. ESTET & CO. ! practical butter book 
j Now Ready. Price 81. 
Brattletooro, vt. 
1 f I A tfAADT?1Q DTTtJ A T YTtMIT V/\DtTWD 
jESrSend for Illustrated Catalogue. 
Now Ready. Price 81. 
Address MOORE’S RURAL NEW-YORKER, 
78 Duane St., New York. 
To th09o who ora making up their minds what 
Agricultural paper to take next year we wish to say 
a word. The leading Agricultural puper of tins 
State lias been, is, and will be. Mount’s Rural 
New-S'our Kit. Last year, when rumors were rife 
in regard 10 its publisher. Mr. !>.]». T Mookk, that 
pentleman found a strong wind to beat against; but 
be ur.nlly succeeded In convincing the people Hint 
one-halt of what was said was not true and the other 
half greatly exaggerated, and so they rallied to the 
support of the om rural Mr. Moore lived up to 
Moors'* RITUAL Nkw-Sohreb.-As will be seen 
by an advertisement la our Columns, the prospectus 
of the Rural New-Yorker for the coming year is 
support of the cilrt Rural Mr. Moore lived up to 
Ills promises, and bis paper lor IPil was ckuraeter- 
tzed by the same spirit that has unlmatoa former 
volume*. Wo like the Unut. and we hope to see 
Orleans County well represented in the subscription 
books of ISIS.—Orleans Dtpsbkcim. 
Ix making up lists of newspapers for 1875, we hope 
our farmer-friends will not overlook that “ old stand¬ 
by," The Rural New-Yorker, founded and still 
conducted by D. D. T. Moont. New York. No better 
journal of its class la published anywhere. Join the 
Club now being made up at the Post-Office at only 
9 ;.15 a year .—Lyons ftepubUcan. 
IT IB VERY STRONG. 
VERY SIMPLE, 
VERY EFFECTIVE, 
AND PERFECTLY SATISFACTORY TO ALL 
WHO HAVE TRIED IT. 
Testimonials furnished on application. Examina¬ 
tion solicited. 
Address as above, at 
HARTFORD, CONN., 
Or at Branch Offices in *11 lending cities. 
EXCELSIOR 
T>UY WILLARD'S 
PRACTICAL BUTTER BOOK. 
Kuw Ready.Price 81. 
Address MOORE'S RURAL NEW-YORKER. 
78 Duane St., New York. 
RANDALL’S 
Practical Shepherd 
A COMPLETE TREATISE 
ON THE BREEDING, MANAGEMENT 
AND DISEASES OF SHEEP. 
Tins Work, by the Hon. Henry B. Randall, 
LL. D., (author «f “ Sheep Husbandry In the South." 
• Fine Wool Sheep Husbandry.” Ae.J is the Btand- 
ard Authority on the Subject. It u the moat com¬ 
plete and reliable Treatise on American Sheep Hus¬ 
bandry evor published, and (as the New England 
Farmer says) " should be in the hand and head of 
every person owning sheep." 
The Practical Bhxfiierd contains 152 pages, and 
1* Illustrated, printed and bound in superior style. 
Twenty-seventh Edition new ready. Sent by mall 
post-paid, on receipt of price—12. Address 
RURAL PUBLISHING CO., 
78 Dunne St., New York. 
SOMETHING NEW AND USEFUT1 
THE ACME TOILET CLOTH !! 
Is made of knitted cotton, and supersedes t no ordi¬ 
nary wash cloth. Will wear for t.u Indefinite time. 
No description doc* them credit. They must be 
seen and used, to be appreciated at their worth. 
T he p rice, post-paid, la only 10 cent*. 
PT' A good opportunity for A gen's. 
Address J ,.ENRY, 
Care Box 3818, New York. 
MACSIE 6c CO.’S 
PATENT BELL TREBLE 
Grand, Square & Upright Pianos. 
R.OCIIESTKR, N. V. 
Finest in Tone! Style and Finish! Warranted 
seven (T) years in any climate. Used over the U. 8. 
and Canada. Practical Mechanics. Merchants, dis¬ 
interested Musician* and the Public Indorse and rec¬ 
ommend the PATENT BELL TREBLE PIANOS. 
01 the RURAL Ntw- vorker for the coming year Is 
ample evidence that tho enterprising direction of 
tli's excellent publication are oeterrolned to make 
their paper better than ever during 1874. There are 
their paper better than ever during 1874. There are 
lew of our weeklies which can boast of a more 
numerous und competent corps of editors, and while 
agricultural itffivirs receive special attention, the 
literary and news departments are not neglected. 
There are sixteen pages in each number, well fur¬ 
nished with good matter and good engravings, the 
paper is interesting Information, and we know of 
no better present to a country cousin than a year’s 
subscription to the Rural New-Yorker.— Prince¬ 
ton lN r - J.) Press. 
Moore’s Rural New-Yorker is an excellent 
Agricultural paper, and very popular. As a family 
visitant It is hard to beat in the attractions it holds 
fortli for young and old. We are pleased to see that 
Mr. Moore is full of his old enterprise and bent on 
making the paper better and better from year to 
year.—Tatra Co. OhrmicU. 
New Scale Upright or Boudoir Bell 
Treble Piano, Just Finished. 
Handsome, Compact, Stylish and Reasonable Price. 
Agents and Dealers increase their business and es¬ 
tablish their reputation by selling them. They please 
and satisfy all. Extra inducements offered where we 
have no Agents or Pianos. Great object to write for 
Illustrated Prices and Terms to Wholesale and Re¬ 
tail Warerooms. Address 
MACK.IE & CO., 
S3 SiaielSt., Rochester, N. Y, 
