C.G.GUNTHER’SSONS 
BY POET U. BA CCA 
Nos. 502 & 504 Broadway, 
CALL ATTENTION TO THEIIt STOl K OF 
' Fat and forty !”—that’* what I atu ; 
1 never drank a “ cocktail ” dram j 
Ne'er a bit of the weed I chew,— 
1 ’spect that's why I’uinever ’’blue.” 
My hair la fall and fair’* n lad's, 
My eyes are clear and keen’s a shad's; 
Never » sick duy have I known, 
From cradle days to “ forty ” grown. 
I’m hale and hearty, thro’ and thro', 
With aches and pains I've nought to do 
An arm that's strong and steady hand 
I always have at tny command. 
The reason for tills Is quite plaiu. 
I’ve told It over and over again ; 
1 let alone the poison stuff 
That kills at sight, and sure enough 1 
Linden-Wold," 1876. 
|; Patent 
Hash 
C-R1NPER, 
ALSO TO THEIR ASSORTMENT OF 
WHICH IS THE LARGEST AND MOST 
COMPLETE EVER OFFERED. 
C. G. Gunther’s Sons, 
Nos. 502 and 504 Broadway, 
SPARKS AND SPLINTERS, 
A CAR-TUNE— “Tickets." 
The “ long roll”—A Dutch loaf. 
The Ice is very Bllppory this year. 
TRY-FLING affairs—Wrestling matches. 
William M. Tweed—G one, but not forgot¬ 
ten. 
WnEN is coffee like the earth?—When It is 
ground. 
Parisian ladies are said to “look like pencils 
covered with ralmunt.” 
“ Home-bwket, sweet home,” as the bee said 
when ho enured hla hive. 
What is the next thing to lien-stealing?— 
Why, a cock-robin, of course. 
The author of “A Rose In June " Is about to 
Issue its sequel, “ Sat down In July.” 
An editor named Hens Is running for a county 
oflicler in Nevada, He ought to be au on-nest 
man. 
It is certain that the play “She Stoops to 
Conquer ” was written before the days of pln- 
baok dresses. 
l'OETRY and hogs do not fraternise as agener- 
al thing: but Cincinnati is the birthplace of 
Joaquin Miller. 
Photographers are cool sort of people. 
They expect you to sit quiet and allow them to 
get a head of you. 
The belle of Berlin is Mrs. Meigs, daughter of 
the American general ; and wherever she goes 
she Meigs a sensation. 
Teacher—” What is the definition of flirta¬ 
tion?” Intelligent young pupil—“ it is atten¬ 
tion without intention.” 
A Pittsburgh man has all the doors in his 
house opening outwards, so as to be prepared 
for either a family row qr a lire. 
A HUMOROUS apothecary exposes a cake of 
soap In liis shop window with the pertinent 
inscription, “cheaper than dirt.” 
You should never tell a man lie lies. Simply 
remark that lie Is guilty of heterophemy and 
drop the subject—11 he'll let you. 
Search the River? Perhaps Mr. Tweed lias 
fallen into It. Do it at once. Do it before the 
old chap lias a chance t i be bailed out. 
Senator Jones lias coutrol of the San Fran¬ 
cisco Post. He has plenty of money, however, 
and ho can stand It better than most people. 
A man In Kentucky was found dead with 
fourteen bullet holes in his head, and a corner’s 
jury returned a verdict of “ Death from undue 
excitement.” 
When a stranger asked a Detroit girl, whom 
he met at a party, if she was married, she 
proinptlly replied ;-“Not quite, but I’ve sued 
three or four chaps for breach of promise.” 
A reu-nosed gentlemuu asked a witness 
whether lie believed in spirits. “Aye, sir," 
replied he, looking him full in the face, “ I see 
too much evidence before me to doubt it.” 
An inebriate recently fell and struck his nose 
against a barber pole. Oil being raised from 
the ground lie asked. " What'n thunder ’zat 
woman wP striped stock’ns on got agin me?” 
“Mamie,” said u mother to a little fi-year- 
okl, "III was a little girl like you I would pick 
up nil those chips.” “ Well, mamma,” said the 
little ooo, “ain’t you glad you are not a little 
girl?" 
“ Pour fellow—he had a good deal in him,” 
was the sorrowing remark of a Mississippi 
etliLor over the body of a subscriber shot In a 
gin-mill. The coroner’s inquest subsequently 
verified the assertion. 
“I cau’t, Abijah,” she answered, when he 
offered to escort her to the piano. “Can’t abide 
mo I” lie exclaimed Indignantly ; “ the d—1 you 
can't," and the next moment liis coat-tail van¬ 
ished through the door. 
To see how eagerly u human being catches at 
a straw is not necessary to witness a drowning. 
Just put one end In a cobbler or julep, and you 
wPl find enough who will eagerly catch at the 
other i nd with their lips. 
The other day when a Detroit grocer spelled 
sugar “s-h-u-g-e-r,” a friend pointed out the 
word and remarked, “ That word isn’t spelled 
quite right.” "Ha! I 9ee,” laughed the grocer; 
‘‘one would think I had no education!" And 
he crossed it out and wrote. “ S-h-u-g-o-r.” 
(CIRCULAR, 
Consumers Importing Tea Co.,) 
No. 8 €1*urch Street. r 
P. O. Box 6,500. New York City. ) 
This Is a combinatlon[of capitalists to supply the 
consumers of Teas throughout the United States on 
the mutual principle. 
We Have experienced agents In all the best dis¬ 
tricts of Chinn and Japan to select Teas especially 
for our trade. 
* 
We expect every consumer of Teas *o render us ad 
the assistance they can In carrying out our enter¬ 
prise, os we make a specialty cf SUPPLYING CON¬ 
SUMERS ON I.V (and allow no middlemen to make 
any prollt on our Importations), wuich will enable 
us to supply tlami with Tens at prices lower than 
have ever been known, and of those fincqualltle 
tbi t seldom reach the interior, being sold only to 
the large cities and among the very wealthy. 
Hoping the consumer will take an interest In our 
enterprise, and send at once for a circular with full 
explanations of how to proceed to obtain our goods, 
we remain, 
Most respectfully yours. 
Consumers Importing Tea Co., 
No. 8 Church St., 
P. O. Box 3.000. New Y ork City. 
Entered.according to Aetof Congress,In January, 
1871, by the Consumers Importing Tea Co., In the 
T Dsv .vs 1 MERCHANT CLOTHIER. 
Ei WAREHOUSES: 
V,UV/ ' "• * ) j 138 & 140 FULTON ST., NEW YORK. 
Successor to FREEMAN.'*, BURR,] [Established IB6S.J 
Tbis old and popular establishment opens the season with an unparalleled stock, to which the 
attetlon of purchasers Is cordially invited. 
^ HITS. 
JOYS’ 
jots’ 
V HR COATS, 
VICKCOATS 
VIC1<< OATS, 
UITg 
UITS 
CITS, 
CITS 
JOYS’ 
ORDERS by Letter promptly filled. 
GKO. 1.. BIJ RIC ■* system for supplying patrons at a distance, which con¬ 
sists of furnishing Rulea tor Self-Measure, t-nmples of Gauds. Prices. 
IIooU of Fnsbions, etc.,, free on application, eiiatles parties in all parts ot 
the country to order, with the certainly of receiving the most Perfect 
Fit attainable. 
AM iTEL'RS At OTHERS 
Brackets, 
Boxes, 
i Ease Is, 
Lj Sorrento Work, 
Sf Exquisite Ornnnirnts 
k . IN OPEN 
I ( SCROLL OR INLAID WORK 
MADE ON THE 
Fleetwood Scroll Saw. 
g No equal for RAPIDITY 
and ACCURACY, uml a 
af child can run It. Scroll* 
” in Metul, Ivory, Shell.&c. 
>, Parts of Models and 
"3 Mna 11 Machines.. Will 
juw brass v inch thick, or 
„ Wood I Inch and under. 
? Price Il<) to *15: boring 
Attachment $5.50. 
Send stamp for Circular 
and Illustrated LUt of 
Designs. 
TRUMP BkOS., 
Wilmington. Del. 
A Firsl-CIns# Newspaper 
uy me uonvii men* uu|H>rui>ir 
OUiceof the Librarian <*f Cunicr&M, Wliihiflifton.D.C, 
by Hail road Officers, Engineers, As 
troflomers, Explorers, Ni 
THE PALACE HOTEL TRAIN 
BETWEEN 
NEW YORK AND CHICAGO. 
__ W avigatora, 
Travelers and others, to he the Most Accurate, 
Durable timekeepers In the world. 9 
M pninco now > n the market, including 
UnHULO Ladies and Gentlemen’s 
_ ...__and Gentlemen’s 
sizes, Key Winders, Stem Winders, Stem Betters, 
Full Plate, Three-Quarter Plate, Plain, Full Jeweled, 
Etc. ^ 
nninro ranging from a few dollars for plain 
I nluLO but neat, Durable and Reliable 
Via Cleveland. 
Leaves Erie Railway Depot, foot of Chambers St. 
New York: 
9:00 A. M., Dally except Sunday. Drawing-Room 
Sleeping Coaches through to Chicago; but 
one change ot duy cars. 
7:00 P. At., Dally. The Palace Hotel Tialn to 
Chicago. Drawing-Room Sleeping Coaches 
and Pullman’s Hotel Dining Car. through 
without change ; but one change or day cars 
The oDly rlnu running Hotel Dicing Cars out of 
New York- A rule of neurly a thousand miles with¬ 
out leaving the car to eat, drink or sleep ! 
he best Paint In 
lO., Cleveland, O. 
END FOB CIRCULAR of 
i the world to RUBBER PAINT 
LAMS KNITTING MACHINE 
timekeepers in Silver eases, to two hundred or more 
dollars for a highly finished and remarkably accu¬ 
rate one In Hue Gold cases. 
A Ufl 111 a11 C. 0 . D. advertisers and apply to dealers 
A I UI Lf of known respectability, as Elgin Watches 
are not furnished to u.ny party whatever to be 
sold on the disreputable 0, O. D. plan, which is used 
to palm off imitation and pinchbeck goods. 9 
n CM A 111 n ai, d receive with your watch the reg- 
U L III A ft U ular warranty medal of the Company, 
as noted below, and 9ee that the name and number 
correspond. 
Til C VA/ATPU named T. M. Avery is offered at 
flL IlA I ull such prices as to come within 
EASE AND COMFORT 
OtyvoiiD's Swinging Cattle Stanchions. Self- 
closing, self-fastening. One farm right free in each 
town to the tiist applicant, (five vutne nj town, 
count v and State. For Circular aDd Deed send 20c. 
to W. C. GIFFORD. 
Patentee and Manufacturer, Jumestuwu, N. Y. 
I S the only Machine that can knit all sizes of work, 
and narrow and widen it; that can shape and 
COMPLETE, without Imnd-fluthhing, seamless Ho¬ 
siery.Gloves and Miltons, or knit them iu ull sizes t 
or knit Ribbed. Double aim Fancy stttehes tor Under¬ 
wear, Jackets, ShawIs. Scarfs ute. It knits over tip 
different Garments. Over 100 per cent. Profit In 
Manufacturing Knit Goods. The Fanner t rebles the 
value of tils wool by converting U Into Knit Goods. 
Women make M-J a day with it. Agents wanted. 
Send stump for samples of work. ,md 1 nluct-d Price 
Li.-t. Address La MB KNIT I’lNG MACHINE CO . 
at Chicopee Falls, Mass ; Ciueiuiiati, Od Chicago, 111., 
or 922 Chestnut St., Philadelphia. 
is not willing to full v warrant. Each watch move¬ 
ment of any anil etrry grade, made by the Elgin Nation¬ 
al Watch Company, and bearing its trade-mark “ El¬ 
gin, 111).," is accompanied by the official warranty 
medal of the Company, with number and name cor¬ 
responding to the watch. 
rrmeCAl C by respectable jewelers in nearly 
rUn uALt every town in the United States and 
Canadas, and also in the principal cities throughout 
the world. Call on your jeweler and ask to see them ,' 
REAL ESTATE BROKERS, 
52 Summit St., Toledo, Ohio. 
py* Eastern property exchanged for Western and 
Western fur Eastern. Correspondence solicited. 
GREAT REDUCTION. 
TEAS AND CQFFEES 
AT WHOLESALE PRICES. 
Increased Facilities to Club Organizers, 
Send for New Price List. 
THE QREAT AMERICAN TEA CO. 
P. O. Bax 5643. 3i & 33 Vesey St., New York 
TO those who are making up their udnds what 
Agricultural paper to take next year we wish to say 
a Word. The leading Agriuulturol paper of this 
State lias been, is. and will be, Moore’s Rural 
N i.w-VORKKH, bait year, when rumors were rife 
In regard to i*.s publisher, Mr. I>. D. T. MOORE, that 
gentleman found a strong wind to beat against; but 
be filially succeeded iu oouvUiolug the people that 
one-half of what wu> said was not true and the other 
hat { greatly epiggeratod, and so they rallied to the 
support of tue old Rural. Mr. Moore lived up to 
his promises, and hlB paper for 1874 was character, 
ized by the same spirit that has animated former 
volumes. We like the Rural, and we hope to see 
Orleans County well represented In the subscription 
books of 1875 .—Orleans Republican. 
^UY WILLARD’S 
PRACTICAL BUTTER BOOK. 
Now Ready. Price 81. 
Address MOORE’S RURAL NEW-YORKER, 
78 Duane St., New York 
Moore’s Rural New-York Eli isone of the read¬ 
able, useful, family papers, equally in demand br 
the lady In her conservatory, the matron with her 
household, the farmer in his field, the Btocx raiser 
among bis animals, ai d the young folks around the 
evening lamp.— Laws of lAfe. 
END 81 FOR WILLARD’S PRACTICAL 
Butter Book, to Rural Pbb. Co., 78 Duane St. 
