SPAilKS  AND  SPLINTERS 
Leap  year.  Select  youi-  victims,  la'iies.  | 
OLi>-rASHiONED  PuLL-BACK — Driving  a  pig  to 
market. 
A  WESrEBM  man  says  that  figmos  won’t  ue  uii- 
le.ss  they  hajipen  to  be  on  a  gas  meter. 
JenoE  ViRors  belongs  to  the  Supremo  Court 
oi  Maine.  Ho  should  hold  oulj-  maiden  assizes. 
A  ouKENY  named  Clark  has  prepared  a  Boston 
Blue  Book,  wliich  he  hojWia  will  be  read  all  OA'er,  . 
Fir  ILEX  million  brooms  are  annually  mami-  I 
taeturod  in  the  United  Htates.  And  yet  meai  will 
got  married. 
is  the  difl'ereuce  between  a  hiU  and  a 
pill?  One  la  hai'<l  to  get  up,  and  the  other  is 
hard  to  get  down. 
Ax  Iri^h  editor  says  he  can  see  no  earthly 
reason  why  women  should  not  be  allowed  to  la-* 
come  medical  men.  ! 
'•  Asxoxisuixa  Clue  tor  cousmnption,”  as  the  ! 
old  lady  said  wlien  slio  sjniukled  snutf  on  the  | 
victuals  of  her  boai  doi-a. 
Yotr  can  tell  a  iinly  who  has  a  seal-skin  sacqtio 
from  one  who  hiisn’t.  The  one  who  has  one  has  , 
to  run  down  to  the  stores  twenty  times  a  day.  | 
The  Oakland  (Cal.)  Gas  Company  has  Ureu 
petitioned  to  paint  the  street  lamp  posts  wlxite,  | 
so  that  that  they  may  be  found  readily  on  dar  k 
nights. 
Deliver  us  !  A  restaurant  keeper  in  Park  Row 
in  tiii-i  city  advertises  on  lus  bulletin — “  Fresh 
sausagei  from  Kut(-)onah,  Westchester  County.” 
Who  want  a  them  ? 
No  Chmose  bank  has  failed  for  live  hundred  ^ 
years.  When  the  last  failure  took  place  the  i 
oftjccrs’ heads  were  out  off  and  flung  into  a  cor¬ 
ner  with  the  other  ass<*ts.  I 
A  Connecticut  cow  committed  suicide  last  ' 
W’eck.  Her  owner  left  Iris  gun  against  the  barn 
yard  fence,  and  what  did  that  cow  do  but  kuoc-k  j 
it  down  and  discharged  it  into  Ijer  neck.  I 
Kaxs.as  teacher Where  does  all  of  our  grain 
product  go  to?”  Boy— “It  goes  into  the  hop¬ 
per.”  “Ilopperl  what  hopiier  ?”  “Grass¬ 
hopper  !"  triumphantly  shouted  the  boy. 
A  sweet  little  boy,  only  8  years  old.— bless  his 
little  heart !— walked  into  a  scene  of  a  teachers’ 
oxamination  at  Osw'ego,  last  week,  bawled  out : 
“  Annie,  your  follow  is  down  to  the  house !” 
“No  one  would  lake  you  for  what  you  are,” 
said  an  old-fashioned  gentleman,  a  day  or  two 
ago,  to  a  dandy,  who  had  more  hair  than  brains. 
“Wliy?”  was  immediately  asked.  “Because 
they  cannot  see  your  ears.” 
A  Miss  of  10  or  11  on  her  way  to  school,  was 
heard  snying  to  herself  “  A  noun  is  the  name 
of  any  person,  place  or  thing,  and  if  any  of  the 
gilds  have  hooked  that  apple  fiom  my  desk.  I’ll 
raise  a  fuss  with  the  whole  school.” 
It  is  a  vulgar  error  to  suppose  that  there  ai’e 
no  Iilsh  characters  in  .Sbakspeare.  Does  not 
Hamlet  exclaim,  “  How  might  I  do  it,  Pat,  now 
he  is  prtijdng?”  To  say  nothing  of  O’Thello, 
Cory  O'Lanus  and  the  lady  O'Phelia. 
A  gentleman  queslionhig  a  little  boy,  said: 
“When  your  father  and  motlier  forsake  you, 
Johnny,  do  you  know  who  will  take  you  up  ?” 
“Yes,  sir,”  said  he.  “And  who?"  said  the. 
friend.  '  ‘  The  jiolioe,”  was  Johnny's  reply. 
“  llow  did  yon  like  my  sermon?”  said  a  vain 
.clergyman  to  a  distinguished  chance  listener. 
•  All,  sir,  there  was  one  beautiful  passage.” 
“Y'e.s,  yes,”  said  the  dominie  delighted,  rubbing 
his  hands ;  “and  what  was  that.”  “  The  passage 
from  the  pulpit  to  the  vestry.” 
“Wh.it  can  you  say  of  the  second-la w'  of 
thought?”  Student.  -“It  cannot  both  be  and 
not  he.  For  example,  tlie  door  over  there  must 
be  either  shut  or  open.  It  can’t  be  both  shut 
raid  oiieu?”  Tutor—”  Give  another  illustration,” 
Student.-  "  Well,  take  the  case  of  another  door.” 
A  M.AX  who  inquired  if  anylioily  had  seen  any¬ 
thing  of  hi^  little  boy,  and  tlien  said  he  was 
looking  for  him,  stopped  at  a  White  street 
grocery,  yesterday,  at  J  o'clock,  and  talked  till 
about  5  o'clock,  when  ho  struck  out  again  in 
search  of  his  sun  with  a  touching  exhibition  of 
paternal  intere-st. 
When  a  Little  Falls  wife  remonstrated  with 
her  husband  for  staying  out  late  at  night,  he 
retorted You  got  me  in  thew’ayof  it.  Be¬ 
fore  we  were  maivied  you  used  to  throw  yoiu- 
arms  about  my  neck  at  tiiree  o’clock,  and  say, 
'  Don't  go,  darling,  it  is  early  yet ;’  but  now  if  I 
iiappcu  to  stay  out  till  two  it  is  a  ten-ible  affau’.” 
Two  Reasons  Why. — While  some  hoys  were 
skatlii.;  on  one  of  the  slips  up  the  river,  agentle- 
inan  noticed  one  on  the  hank  who  looked  on 
longingly  but  who  had  no  means  of  enjoying  the 
sport.  “  Well  bnb,  haven't  you  any  skates  ?” 
asked  the  man.  “No,  sir."  “Wiy  not?” 
“  ’Cause  mother  says  I  ain't  prepared  to  die,  and 
Lather  says  ho  needs  the  money  to  buy  him  some 
under  shirt  3 !”  was  the  lonesome  reply. 
»>  iTH  SEMI -ANNUAL  S.TATEAIENT  OP  THE 
Z-l  TRAVKliEU.S  lINSMiANCli  <'0. 
Habtpokd,  Conn.,  January  l.  187C. 
ASSKTS. 
Keal  Estate  owned  by  the  Company . f  87,C88  21 
Cash  on  hand  and  in  Honlc .  117..7I9  “fli 
Cash InliandsOfAtfenlfl.orin transmission.  Y.Viyi  SI 
Loans  on  fxrst  MortKatres  Keal  Estate . 2,004.877  50 
Dfftrred  Kreminms .  W 
Aocnicil  Interest. . . .  .............  ....  7SA14 '-5 
imited  Xtntes  Oovemmont  Bonds . .  .Ill.riiU  fO 
Slate  end  jJunlelpnl  KonOs . .  llt,.7P0  UO 
Kailroad  Stocla  and  Bonds .  JlS.llO  UO 
Bank  and  Insurance  Stocks .  r>S!tM!i  00 
Total  uBsets . l!4B,701,361  13 
LIABILITIES. 
Reserve  for  re-lnsurancc.  Accident  Dept. .  i|l*3).117  45 
Keserve,  N.  Y.  Standard  (4M).  Ufe  Depart- , 
ment . . . 2,0ije,65ii  i9 
Claims  unndjuBted  and  not  due,  iind  all 
other  liabilities .  170,18(1  04 
Total  liabilities . 18(^,3041.1 .17  SS 
Surplus,  asrcKardB  policy-holders..*!  .30.5,li03  ‘J.'i 
Surplus  us  above,  on  four  per  cent,  rcserye,  Mass, 
und  Conn,  standard,  *1,090,437  47. 
C4>iN<i  I'JIVI.VT., 
Regv  says  that  he  infinitely  prefers  putting  on  nnii  skates  for  his  Kate  to  putting  on  ms 
skates  for  his  skating.  And  Kate  says  she  feels  sure  Reoy  is  trying  to  pay  her  an  ice 
compUinc-nt. 
MtatlsticM  ol'tlio  Year  1875 
Life  Department. 
:  Number  of  Life  Policies  written  in  187E . 
I  Net  Gain  In  amount  Insured . *1,300,4 
Net  Gain  on  Life  Policies  In  force . 
w^ole  number  written  to  dati:... . ....S 
Whole  number  of  Life  PoiicU-s  in  lorec . 
Total  auiuuDi  insured. . *10,1 00,  j 
Accident  Department. 
Number  of  Accident  Policies  written  in  '75.  .1 
Net  Cash  Premiums  rec'd  lor  same. .  .*4  .lO,: 
I  Wli ole  number  Accident  Policies  written.  3( 
Number!  f  Clniuis  iiali]  In  1875... . ; . 
Whole  number  of  ACcidcnt  (ilalms  Paid.....! 
whole  amount  Acc’t  (TuIuib  Puld..4*3.3H3,‘ 
Total  Losses  Paid,  both  Dep’ts . *3,0.75, 
BRADLEY’S  REVERSIBLE  HARROW 
(Carhart’s  Patent.) 
THE  Kltie  OF  HARROWS 
JA*.  «.  UATTKKSON,  I*re»ldent 
HODNKY  DBN.M8,  Secretary. 
JOHN  E.  MORRIS.  Ass’t  Secretary. 
New  York  Office,  207  Broadway. 
R.  M.  JOHNSON,  Manaser. 
New  and  Novel.  Tried  and  Aparoved.  As  iudispennable  (o  the  Kurin  us  u  Pluw.  Its 
peculiar  construction  tiisure*  linhhitst  cif  dr ajt  and  areut  strength,  is  universiilly  ailmlredi  the  comuion 
expression  is,  “Jimt  ilui  thing  we  have  heen  liH)lcing  for.’’  Nolls  at  Hlglil,  as  it  supplies  a  want  won  felt, 
vlt.,  A  pertoct  Hiixiothlna  Harrow,  combined  with  n  flrst-class  vertical  or  stmlKlit  Tooth  Harrow,  at  a 
price  usually  charged  for  a  SmtK-thiug  Harrow.  By  drawing  Iroiu  one  side  (os  shown  In  tml),  we  have 
u  A-section,  hinged,  40  steel  tooth  Harrow;  and  by  simply  elmnElng  the  draft  t>i  the  nppoalte  side,  we 
have  a  penool  Bmootblng  Harrow.  VYe  alto  maiiuiacturc  for  the  West  a  Harrow  ol  the  above  descrip¬ 
tion  In  R  sections,  for  four  horses  abreast,  which  covers  IS  feet  ofurmind  in  width.  .Xend  for  Descrip¬ 
tive  Wreu  In  r  to  BRAni.KY  IMANIJKAOTimi.Nfi  GO.,  Syrueune,  N.  1. 
CATTLE  KEEP  FAT 
(CIRCULAR. 
ConsHHers  Importing  Tea  €••) ) 
No.  8  CHarcli  Street.  r 
P.  O,  Box  6,609.  New  York  City.  ) 
This  Is  n  combination  of  capitalists  to  supply  the 
consumers  ol  'Teas  throushout  the  United  States  on 
the  mutual  principle. 
We  have  experienced  agents  in  all  the  best  dis¬ 
tricts  of  China  and  Japan  to  select  Teas  especially 
for  our  trade. 
We  expect  every  consumer  of  Teas  to  render  us  ail 
the  asslstiincc  they  cun  In  carryloy  out  our  enter¬ 
prise,  as  wo  make  a  sjieclalty  of  HUPPI.YINO  CON¬ 
SUMERS  ONLY  (and  allow  no  middlemen  to  make 
any  prout  on  our  Importations),  wnich  will  enable 
us  to  supply  them  with  Teas  at  prices  lower  than 
have  ever  been  known,  and  of  those  Une  qualltle 
thrt  seldom  reach  the  Interior,  beluy  sold  only  to 
the  lurKu  cities  and  amomi  the  very  wealthy. 
lluplnK  the  consumer  will  take  an  interest  In  our 
enterprise,  and  send  at  once  for  a  circular  with  full 
explanations  of  how  to  proceed  to  obtain  our  Koods, 
we  remain. 
Most  respectfully  yours, 
Consumers  Importing  Tea  Co.) 
No.  N  Church  8t., 
P.  U.  Box  S,SOO.  Now  York  City. 
Entered,  according  to  Act  of  Oongress,  In  Janaary, 
1874,  by  the  CoiiBumers  Importlny  Tea  Co.,  in  the 
Office  of  the  Librarian  of  Congress,  Washington,  D.C, 
in  OlFFOIllTft  SWINGING  CATTLE  UTANCRIOT 
Helf -closing.  seir-fnHteiiiiig.  One  farm  right /ive 
each  town  to  the  Drsi  appliouut.  Girename of  ton 
county  and  CsUtle.  For  ('Irculur  and  Doiul  Bi  nd  2< 
to  W.C.  GIFFORD. 
Fatenteo  und  Mauulaciurer,  Jameatowii,  N.  Y 
WATCIitS 
.vaSTCHlS 
by  Railroad  Officers,  Kngineors,  As- 
-  '  -  -  I  _ _  W.T _ r  — _ _ 
nCPI  IDCn  by  Railroad  Officers,  Engineers,  As- 
yLuLnllllU  tronoiners.  Explorers,  Navigators, 
Travelers  and  others,  to  he  the  BTost  Accurate, 
Durable  timekeepers  In  the  world. 
OC  PDAnCe  market,  Including 
ZD  UlinULu  Ladies  and  Qentlemert’s 
Bi/.cs,  Key  Winders,  Stem  Winders,  Stem  hvticrs, 
Full  Kittle, Three-Quarter  Flaie,  Plain,  FullJeweled, 
Etc. 
DDIPCC  ranging  from  a  few  doliars  for  plain 
r  nIuLv  bdi  neat,  Durable  and  Beuable 
timekeepers  in  Silver  cases,  to  two  hundred  or  more 
dollars  for  a  highly  fluishod  and  remarkably  accu¬ 
rate  one  in  fine  Ooid  cases. 
A  U  A I  n  ail  C  O.  D.  advertisers  and  apply  to  dealers 
n  I U I U  bf  kuowu  respectability,  os  Elgin  Watches 
REAL  ESTATE  BROKERS, 
52  Summit  St.,  Toledo,  Ohio 
Eitslerii  property  exchanged  for  Western  and 
Western  tor  K-istera.  CvrirsixniiUnn'  toHcltrd, 
kJKND  KOIt  Clltf'l  I.AK  of  the  best  I'alnt  In 
B  the  world  to  ilLBBKK  I' A  I  .NT  Cl).,  Cleveland,  O. 
GREAT  REDUCTION. 
TEAS  AND  COFFEES 
AT  WHOLESALE  PRICES) 
Increased  Kaclllllea  to  Club  Organizer*. 
Send  tor  New  Price  List. 
THE  BREAT  AMERICAN  TEA  CO. 
P.O.Box 5m.  Si  &  83  Vesey  St.,  New  York 
are  not  furnlrfied  to  any  party  whatever  to  be 
sold  on  the  disrepuiuble  0.  O.  D.  plan,  which  is  used 
to  palm  offimltatlou  and  pinchbeck  goods. 
and  receive  with  your  watch  thereg- 
uliur  warranty  medal  of  the  Company, 
and  see  that  the  name  and  number 
•  p  U  named  T.  M,  Avery  Is  offered  at 
Ln  sucb  piiees  as  to  come  within 
as  noted  be 
eorrespoud. 
DOMESTIC 
SEWING 
MACHINES. 
the  reach 
the  nione; 
LlbiTuI  terms  of  Exchange 
for  Second-hand  Hachlnes 
^ uferer)' drHcrIpituu. 
“DOMESTIC”  PAPER  FASHIONS. 
The  Best  Patterns  made.  Send  5ctA.  for  CiiUiluguc. 
Address  DOMESTIC  SEWHia  MACHINE  C0„ 
B3“  Agests  'WaXTBD.  NEAV  YOBK. 
BETWKEN 
via  Cleveland. 
Leaves  Erie  Railway  Depot,  foot  of  Chambers  &t« 
New  York: 
9,00  A.  Rl.,  Dally  except  Sunday.  Drawiog-Room 
Sleeping  Coaches  through  to  Cliicago:  hut 
one  change  of  day  cars. 
7  :00  P.  M..  Dally.  The  Puliicn  Hotel  TnUn  to 
Chicago.  J>ri>wli)g-Room  Sloeplng  Couches 
und  Pullman’s  Helel  Dining  Car.  through 
wUhtml  change:  but  one  change  of  day  oars 
The  only  lino  running  Hotel  Dining  Cars  out  of 
New  York.  A  rifle  uf  nearly  a  (housunfl  miles  with¬ 
out  leavlrg  tiiD  cur  to  eat.  drink  or  sleep  I 
3Uy  WILLARD’S 
PRACTICAL  BUTTER  BOOK. 
Now  Ready.  Price  *1* 
Address  MOORE’S  RURAL  NEW-YORKER, 
78  Duane  Bt,  New  York. 
MOORE’)*  rural  Nkw-Yokker  Is  un  eAPjOleut 
Agricultural  paper,  and  T 
rittitRnt  \t  Dflrd  to  beat  In  th6  ottTactb'XJS  it  *15^'  ® 
forth  Vor  youSfand^ld.  Weare  pleased  to  s^tbet 
Mn  Moobk  Is  full  of  hlB  old  enterprise  and  bent  on 
milking  the  paper  better  and  better  from  year  to 
