US 
CORE’S  RURAL  WEW-YORKER. 
FES.  28 
it  aiib  li 
SPAKKS  AND  SPLINTERS. 
Going  to  law  for  damages  is  the  surest  way  of 
getting  damag(si. 
Here  aud  there  the  sin  of  naming  new  babies 
'*  Centennia,"  is  committed. 
Titf.  steamer  that  is  over-dew  must  be  coming 
in  with  a  very  light  draught. 
Why  is  youj-  wife  like  djiiaiuite  ?  Because  she's 
apt  to  blow  up  if  harshly  handled. 
UruiLi,  buisnesB— sitting  on  a  wheel-barrow 
I  and  trying  to  wheel  yourself  to  glory. 
“  Sam  Jones,  what  ails  your  eye  ?” — “  Nothing, 
only  I  told  Jiui  Smith  he  lied  and  the  fool  resent¬ 
ed  it." 
The  fool  seeketh  to  pick  a  fly  from  a  mule’s 
hind-leg.  The  wise  man  letteth  out  the  job  to 
the  lowest  bidder. 
Trying  to  do  business  without  advertising  is 
like  winking  at  a  pretty  girl  in  the  dark — you 
may  know  what  you  are  doing,  but  no  one  else 
does. 
“  Do  you  love  me  still,  John  ?”  wliispered  a 
sensitive  wife  to  her  husband.  “  Of  couise  I  d®  ; 
the  sillier  the  better,”  answered  the  stupid  hus¬ 
band. 
“  Alfreo,  darling,”  tenderly  observed  ayoung 
Milwaukee  wife  to  her  husband.  “I  wish  you'd 
take  your  cars  down  now,  Moiiar  wants  to  dust 
the  ceiling." 
An  llliuoiM  girl  wrote  to  the  Bchool  Commis¬ 
sioners  of  Chieogo  that  she  “  had  bin  out  of  em¬ 
ployment  for  a  year,  and  nnid  teech  for  $10  a 
mouUi  and  hord  rouud. 
The  following  advertisement  recently  appear¬ 
ed  in  a  London  paixw: — ‘‘Three  Larly  Helps 
wanted,  as  cook,  housemaid,  and  nurse ;  private 
family  ;  no  servants  kept." 
It  is  estimated  that  it  takes  a  young  man  twice 
as  long  to  light  a  lamp  when  he  retiuns  home 
from  a  Icctiue  or  concert  with  his  girl,  as  It  does 
under  other  circumstances. 
This  may  possibly  be  old.  but  it’s  undeniably 
good: — "Everyman  fancies  he  can  do  three 
things — foiTU  a  small  property,  drive  a  gig  and 
write  an  article  for  a  review." 
A  i,ONO  and  romantic  story  puhhshed  in  the 
Michigan  papers  may  be  thus  condeused : 
"Beautiful  daughter  of  a  Michigan  banker; 
mariiwl  against  her  father's  will ;  beer  girl  in  a 
Lafayette  concert  hall," 
A  FACETiors  boy  asked  one  one  of  his  intimates 
why  a  hardware  dealer  was  hke  a  boot-maker. 
The  latter,  somewhat  puzzled,  gave  it  up. 
"Why.”  said  the  other,  "  because  tlie  one  sold 
the  nails  aud  the  utlicr  nailed  the  soles.” 
A  .soHooi,  TKACHKH  got  the  hoys  down  on  him 
by  taking  their  apples  away  from  them  when 
they  had  them  around  in  school  time,  and  eating 
them  himself,  but  he  looks  at  them  very  cai'e- 
fuliy  since  he  ate  one  chai’ged  with  red  popper. 
“Well,”  remai-ked  Mi’s.  Spllkins  the  otlier 
evening,  thi-owing  down  the  paper  with  a  sigh, 
"  I  don't  think  so  veiy  mnch  of  the  President’s 
message,  Leandcr.  He  don't  say  a  ainglc  w'ord 
about  '1' weed's  escape,  or  tlig  Beecher  scandal.”  j 
Doer's  memory  is  not  of  the  host,  aud  he  } 
rather  .suprised  his  sweetlieart  the  other  evening 
by  asking  her  if  these  lines  of  Scott  w'tre  not  ‘ 
beautiful: 
On,  woman,  in  oiir  bmira  of  ease, 
Uncertain,  coy,  and  hard  to  please  ; 
Hut  seen  too  oft,  familiar  with  thy  face, 
Wo  first  endure,  then  pity,  then  embrace,  ' 
An  Opinion,— a  highly  respected  colored  gentle-  i 
man.  rejoicing  in  tlie  big-sounding  name  of  ■ 
George  Edwin  Fitz-.4.ugUHlus,  visiling  the  Wash¬ 
ington  Market,  a  few  days  aiitoe,  thus  delivered  ^ 
himself  to  a  fat  coimtryman,  whose  stock  of 
vegetables  he  had  been  busily  investigating : 
•‘Are  these  good  tators?”  "  Yes,  sirl"  respond¬ 
ed  the  oonntrjTuan.  "  A  tator, "resumed  George 
Edwin  Fitz-Augustua,  "is  inevitably  had  unless  b 
it  is  inwariably  good,  Dere  is  no  mediocrity  in  a 
de  combination  of  a  good  tater.  The  exterior 
iiLty  apixior  remarkably  exemplary  and  beauti- 
some,  while  the  interior  is  totally  negative.  But, 
s'lT,  if  you  wends  the  ailicle  oh  your  own  recom¬ 
mendation,  knowing  you  to  be  a  man  of  probUity  V 
in  your  ti’onsactions,  I,  widout  any  furdercircum-  j*, 
locutions,  takes  a  bushel  of  dat  superior  wegeta-  . 
ble!''  11 
wii/IlT  it  jia.©  com:k  to. 
(_Tfie  Mistrtus,  having  heard  Viree  rings  at  the  street  floor,  goes  to  open  it.) 
Housemaid — "Oh,  Please  m’m,  if  that’s  au3’body  for  me.  I’m  'not  at  home.'" 
GENERAL  FAVORITE 
Recently  perfected  and  offered  to  the  trade  by  the 
WEED  SEWING  MACHINE  COMPANY, 
P0SS0.SS  ni.'iny  aflv-intages,  both  in  construction  and  c.apacity, 
over  macliines  now  in  use  by 
CHEESE m BUTTER 
Factory  Apparatus.  ' 
“  ECONOMIZER”  Tul" 
Boiler  and  Engines. 
SelliDR  rapidly.  Pnetoryraen  "Take"  to  them  at 
once.  Satisfaction  guarajiteed.  Send  for  Illustrated 
circular  of  Dairy  FuruishioKs. 
WHITMAN  d:  BURRELL, 
Little  Fall®,  N.  Y. 
The  Machines  made  by  tins  Company  have  alAiays  been  noted  for 
simplicity,  a  merit  which  has  been  preserved  in  this  new  style  and  com¬ 
bined  with  great  strength,  especial  care  having  been  taken  to  provide 
against  the  wear  and  tear  of  use  in  Factories  running  bv 
STEAM  power! 
Actual  WORK  is  the  only  test  of  a  sewing  machine.  The  Weed 
Co.,  desirous  of  thorough  investigation,  are  prepared  to  place  these 
machines  on  trial,  feeling  contident  that  practical  work  will  convince 
intending  purchasers  of  their  merit.  Manufacturers  will  please  examine 
if  our  claims  are  not  correctly  made  on  the  following  points  : 
CONVENIENCE. 
The  large  space  under  the  arm,  h'rom  needle  to  foot  of  arm,  9 
inches ;  from  needle  to  bend  of  arm,  1 1  inches ;  from  bed  to  bottom  of 
arm,  5  inches.  Easily  oiled,  threaded  and  cleaned. 
SIMPLICITY. 
Ko  cams  or  cogs  are  used,  a  continuous  circuhar  motion,  preventing 
vibration,  and  rendering  a  high  rate  of  sj>ocd  jiossihle,  while  noise  is 
reduced  to  the  minimum,  and  for  foot  power  the  ease  of  working  is  ! 
increased  to  a  wonderful  degree.  ! 
DURABILITY. 
The  wearing  parts  are  forged  and  hardened.  Lost  motion  can  he 
taken  up  with  a  screw-driver,  thus  saving  cost  of  new  parts,  and  time 
consumed  in  fitting  them.  The  shuttle  being  carried,  instead  of  driven, 
wears  much  longer,  and  skijiping  of  stitches  is  avoided.  The  needle 
socket  is  hardened  and  so  constructed  that  a  needle,  when  broken  in  the 
hai',  can  he  readily  removed.  Address 
WEED  SEWING  MACHINE  COMPANY, 
HARTFORD,  COXX. 
^  to  bA  di  r  ided  ainone  1  he  six 
'  I  «no»t  Bocceo^fol  aroner,  wno  shall 
I  ".Jit  I  qasnitty  from 
lb.  of  RmY  «»i3  Al.leH.4. 
i.  ^  potatoot.  Fnceofoacb.fiOOperlb. 
CENTENNIAL  PREMIUMS. 
I  he  svsrded  for  the  best 
I  one  pfck  each  of  I’ota- 
'  I  I  •  iTD'roauocd  by  un  -line-*  l^67. 
I  for  the  «o<S  ii  o»t  proin- 
jraiwitnhi^ yeai  from 
A  r'  *  >I»bHdJxed  Potato 
^  j  collection*  for  which 
*-5  -  -  — ; - J*®*-  prwtniuma  of  f200  are 
«..entenniiil  Exhibition. 
1"  PhilBdelpliia,  in  Octolier,  «inl  pretniuas  will  be 
AWAi'dxd  by  Uie.r  cumnilttee.  For  conditions  and  full 
pii-i  culsrs  send  for  clipit'sr.  mailed  Ir.  etosll. 
.  f  ••••■cr®tc*l  CatnlcHia®  it  Ama'eur's 
OiMue  to  thi*  rli;>wcr  ^  KitilhpD  G4pd«*n.  VOO iiagen.  3Cicta. 
Oiir«lrner*a  AtmiinacBno  rvifo- 
fth/uf  of  Firtit  ttmt  /7iy|f.pr  116  pfiKet*.  beantl- 
Mly  illuu^alcd,  maiM  u»  all  applicanta  incioaiuf  lOcis, 
filtaa  af  1*otAlu  C'4aiikl4»KU4f  CA>ntains 
a  uescrip'tivo  liet  of  an  l-ho  now  vanotiee  rei'ODtly  intro¬ 
duced,  with  many  oibitf  devimblo  ftorU.  aUo  much  u%f'ful 
i&forinatiQn  upon  tutiir  cultivation,  32  pairu«,  10  cents. 
B.  K.  BLISS  A  SONS, 
P .  O.  Box  Ko,  5718,  34  Barclay  (,t.,  A.  IT. 
PrtngXe'i  Hybridized  Potato  Seed  50  cf*  per  packet. 
(OIBOVLaB. 
Cousumers  Importing  Tea  Co,,  1 
No.  8  riiurcb  Street.  r 
P.  O.  Box  5,609.  New  York  Cltf.  ) 
This  IR  a  combination  of  capItaliRti  to  Rupply  th® 
conaoinerB  of  Tcaii  tbroupbout  the  United  States  on 
the  mutual  principle. 
We  have  experienced  agents  In  all  the  belt  dls- 
trIctB  of  Cliiuaand  Japan  to  select  Teas  especially 
for  our  trade. 
Wo  expect  every  consumer  of  Teas  to  render  us  ail 
the  assistance  they  can  In  carrying  out  our  enter* 
prise,  as  we  make  a  specialty  of  SUPPLYING  CON. 
8UMBKS  ONLY^fand  allow  no  middlemen  to  make 
any  profit  on  our  Importations),  which  will  enable 
us  to  supply  them  with  Teas  ut  prices  lower  than 
have  ever  been  known,  and  of  those  fine  quallUe 
that  seldom  reach  the  Interior,  being  sold  only  to 
the  large  citlee  aud  among  the  very  wealthy. 
Hoping  if!e  consumer  will  take  an  interest  In  our 
enterprise,  and  send  at  once  for  u  circular  with  full 
explauailona  of  how  to  proceed  to  obtain  our  goods, 
wereiijaiii. 
Most  respectfully  yours. 
Consumers  Importing  Tea  Co., 
No.  M  Church  Ht., 
F.  O.  Box  3,aU9.  New  York  City. 
according  to  Act  of  Congress,  In  January, 
Jfifl  1'ea  Co.,  In  the 
Omce  of  the  Librarian  of  Congress,  Washington,  D.C, 
UTHE  HOUSEkfErEg- ayirst-ciau  Slngsslue  recom- 
tueuUi^d  l.ij  Jt  nnie  Juue,  James  Parton  and  oth- 
prfi— will,  on  receipt  of  8ub5<-riptlon  price.  U*), 
iH.’Bftit  fn»*  year,  puat-palil.  and  dflii'er  fttE.  A 
MeMIUM  BOI  of  h‘/.U6  •>orUi  beet  OixteeHez. 
N.  y.  W'cekly  Hun,  Jan.  14, 1876.  eayai 
It  u  (me  of  fne  bezt  c/unuez  jor  aaeut*  ever 
nfrrtd."  As  wealktw  A  lAROE  CASH  COMMISSIOH 
tl  IS  a  rare  cha-nce  to  make  numeii  ,iij>i<ilv  one 
secure  a  vermaatni  business  C,  F.  wjngnte 
Sc  Co.  (Uu.U<Hn,(SDnanv  Nt.,  N.X.  Sawyin.yy  10c. 
WGLGOTT  BROS. 
REAL  ESTATE  BROKERS, 
52  Summit  St.,  Toledo,  Ohio. 
1*“  Eastern  property  exchanged  for  Western  and 
Western  for  Eastern.  Correspondence  solicifrd. 
UKNI>  FOR  CIRCULAR  of  the  best  Paint  In 
the  world  to  RUBBER  PAINT  CO.,  Cleveland,  O. 
THE  PALACE  HOTEL  TRAIN 
BETWEEN 
NEW  YORK  AND  CHICABO, 
vltt  Cleveland. 
Leaves  Erie  Railway  Depot,  foot  of  Chambers  St. 
New  York. 
9:UU  A.  ill..  Dally  except  Sunday.  Drawing-Room 
Sleeping  Coaches  through  to  Chicago ;  but 
one  change  of  day  cars. 
7  tOO  P.  M.,  Dally.  The  Palace  Hotel  Train  to 
Chicago.  Drawing-Room  Sleeping  Coaches 
and  Pulliuan’s  Hotel  Diulng  Car,  through 
without  change;  but  one  cbiuige  or  day  cars 
The  only  line  ruimiug  Hotel  Dining  Cars  out  of 
New  York.  A  ride  of  nearly  a  thousand  miles  with¬ 
out  leaving  the  cur  to  eat,  drink  or  sleep  I 
CENDJOR  ILLUSTRATED  CIRCULARS  <>'  HKrvMi.n,  Mower., 
O  SrU-humping  R.iLf  UKAriT.tY  MKO  CO„  8jr«tii«,  ^.Y 
OENU  FDR  CTRC'UI.A  R  of  Agricultural  Imple- 
O  meats  to  Abugit,  Buk  w  &  Co.,  Mfr'a.Clevelaud.O. 
GRFAT  RFDUCTIOX. 
TEAS  AND  COFFEES 
AT  WHOLESALE  PRICES. 
Increased  Facilities  to  Club  Organizers. 
8eud  for  New  Price  List. 
THEQREATAMERICANTEACO. 
P.  O.  Box  5«43.  8i  &  38  'Yesey  8t„  New  York 
guv  WILLAUD'8 
PRACTICAL  BUTTER  BODK. 
Now  Ready.  Price  SI. 
Address  MOORE’S  RURAL  NEW-YORKER, 
76  Duane  Si.,  New  York. 
