POETICAL  80AP 
Meshkk.  Wntiir  and  Oil 
One  day  had  a  broil, 
Ab  down  la  the  tfla«»  they  were  droppinif , 
And  would  not  unite, 
But  continued  to  hifht, 
Without  any  prospect  of  stoppinif. 
Mr.  Pearlash  o'erheard, 
And,  (julck  M  a  word. 
He  jumped  in  the  midst  of  the  claahinif ; 
When  all  three  ufrevd. 
And  united  with  speed, 
ative.” — “What  Jill  you  call  that  word?’'  aaked 
the  teacher  “the  word  in  legacy,  not  limbacy." 
“But.”  said  the  little  girl,  “my  sister  says  1 
I  must  alwavti  say  limb,  not  leg.” 
•  A  K.viLWAV  accident  lately  occurred,  caused  by 
the  axle  of  a  tender  giving  way,  which  detained 
Factory  Apparatus. 
cnnufiMiTCD”  return 
8or,R  MAMCPACTcnnaa 
IliLARO’?^  PRACTICAL  BUTTER  BOOK 
costs  but  M.  and  is  the  standard.  Order  it. 
URAL  PUBLISHING  CO.,  78  Duane  St.,  N.  Y 
take  off  the  ’  1  ’  and  it's  you  you  tvTetch,”  and  ahe 
slammed  down  the  window  with  a  bounce. 
^VN.Y.^dDtfofibabutcbRnuiMiiurtLB'tsj  I  I  ||  | 
“  I i' V  tr  olTcroi. Ck i,  t t’fklt/htttr- Octan  LIHJLI— 1— — 
‘The  Groceries  aro  the  best.*— AT.  Y,  lP»<««M,Jan.lS,ls76, 
MOORE’S  RURAL  REW-YORKER. 
.And  Soap  came  out  reaay  lor  wasniuif. 
8PAKK8  AND  SPLINT]^8, 
Something  of  a  wag— A  dog’s  tail. 
CouK  is  the  paradise  of  bottle-stoppers. 
“  CKANkv”  musicians  Orgau-giinders. 
When  is  it  right  to  take  one  in?— When  it 
rains. 
Motto  lor  an  orphan  asylum— Thus  far  and  no 
father. 
Evkby  old  maid  can  boast  of  two  beaux,  but 
they  are  elbows. 
A  MAN  can  find  fault  in  any  direction  he  is  ] 
pleased  to  look  for  it.  . 
The  ftist  man  who  ever  went  round  the  world 
—The  man  in  the  moon. 
Why  is  a  man  that  can’t  learn  liy  experience 
like  laurel  ?  Because  he  is  an  evergreen. 
Is  there  a  word  in  the  English  language  which 
contains  uU  the  vowels  ?  Unquestionably. 
A  woKNouT  parent  in  Chicago  has  named  his 
baby  Macbeth,  because  he  murdered  sleep. 
The  author  of  the  saying,  “  You  must  always 
take  a  man  as  you  find  him,”  was  a  constable. 
Why  is  a  store  that  don't  advertise  like  Enoch 
Arden?  Because  it  ‘'sees  no  sale  from  day  to 
day.” 
Said  a  philospher:— "  My  friend  conducted 
tis  wife  to  the  altar— and  here  his  leadership 
came  to  an  end.” 
The  Evening  Post  says  there  is  a  "  Hmiicaue 
Baptist  Church  ”  in  Indiana.  We  suppose  it  goes 
by  wind  and  watei . 
“  Why,  Mary  Ann,  what  in  the  world  are  you 
doing  with  tlie  scissors  ?  ”  Shure  yeu  touJd  me 
to  scallop  the  oysters.” 
An  exchange  speaks  of  a  woman  so  crosseyed 
that  when  she  weeps  tears  from  her  left  eye  they 
drop  on  her  right  cheek. 
“  Big  long-lcggod  men  don’t  always  some¬ 
times  get  ahead  of  little  hoy,”  is  Chinese  for 
••  the  race  is  not  always  to  the  swft.” 
“Why  should  wc  celebrate  Washington’s 
Birthday  more  than  mine  ?"  asked  a  teacher  in 
Boston.  “  Because  he  never  told  a  lie!”  shout¬ 
ed  a  boy. 
A  WOMAN  in  New  Jersey  is  so  economical  that 
the  other  night  while  her  husband  was  a-bed, 
she  turned  aud  mado  over  his  last  pan-  of  panta¬ 
loons  for  one  of  the  children. 
An  Irisliman  noticing  a  woman  pass  along, 
espied  two  sti'ips  depending  from  under  the 
lady’s  cloak.  Not  knowing  that  these  were  styled 
sashes,  and  in  the  right  place,  he  exclaimed : 
•  •Faith,  ma'am,  your  galluses  ai-e  untied.” 
“  ANornKR  shipwreck, ”  said  Elnathau,  as  they 
were  walkhig  down  the  Bowrery.  '*  Dear,  dear,’* 
said  Mrs.  liorkings.  sjonpathetically,  “where?” 
“  There,”  said  Elnathau,  pointing  to  a  dead  dog 
iutheguUcr.  “There’s  a  bark  that’s  lost  for¬ 
ever.”  "  Oh  !”  said  Mrs.  Dorkings. 
A  LTTTI.E  girl  at  school  read  thus:— Tiie 
widow  hved  on  a  small  limbacy  left  her  by  a  rel- 
a  train  lor  several  uoiii  s.  \  laay  inqiurca  oi  a 
gentleman  passenger,  why  it  was  so  delayed.  He 
gravely  replied.  “  Madam,  it  was  occasioned  by 
what  is  always  followed  by  serious  consequeiiceB 
— the  sudden  breaking  of  a  lender  attachment.” 
Beware  ok  Widows.— When  a  widow  presses 
yom-  hand  and  tolls  you  how  she  has  made  fom’ 
dozen  clothes  pegs  last  her  twelve  years,  and  she 
droops  her  eyes  and  says  a  paper  of  pins  lasts 
three  years,  and  she  looks  up  aud  smiles  a  rosy 
smile,  how  on  earth  is  a  fellow  to  break  away  and 
leave  that  house  and  convince  himself  that  she 
loves  him  only  for  his  wealth  ? 
Brown  came  home  late  the  other  night  and 
Mrs.  B.,  reacliiiig  out  of  the  bedroom  window, 
said: — “  So  you’ve  been  tipping  the  glass  again, 
have  you?”  “Glass,”  said  Brown  ;  “ (hie)  'ts  a 
funny  word;  take  off  the  ‘g’  and  it’s  you  my 
dear.”  “Yes,”  answered  the  wife,  “and  then 
ANY  SHAUE  rUUM  I'L'UU  WHITE  TO  .1  F.T  BLACK. 
AND,  AS  (T  IS  MtXrD  HEADY  rOH  uaK, 
EVERY  MAN  CAN  BE  HIS  OWN  PAINTER. 
The  incorpuratlou  of  RUBBER  In  our  paint  makes 
It  unrqiuiUa  by  any  utliu-r.  It  is  unaflccted  by  chansu 
of  temperature,  ojid  Is  pprnwUy  wuturprout'.  It  pre- 
Itv  THK  l>. 
CORTLAND  WAGON  MANUF’C  CO., 
rfgfRv  Cortland,  N,  Y. 
off,  and  Is  In  every  way  the  ••  He«t  Faint  ”  for  either 
insido  or  outside  palutine.  Is  from  ouo-ronrth  to  one- 
tiilrd  chcinper,  aud  lusu  three  iiiuesss  Iour  as  the 
best  lead  and  all  paints.  The  almost  unaiiiviiiunvtr- 
diet  of  the  many  thoumnds  vrho  bavn  used  our  pulul 
is  that  It  Is  .far  superior  to  any  other  paint  in  use. 
lie  sure  ihnt  nur 'TRADK  .11.%  UK  (a  fac-slmlle 
of  wbioU  Is  iiLveu  above),  !■  uu 
every  pnckiiffe. 
The  great  pupnlarlty  of  and  demand  for  uur  paint 
has  ni'oes.sitated  the  establlBblDC  of  *•  Branch  Fnc- 
toTie»,”  us  tollows ; 
So.  5011  Wc«t  I8l..  New  York  I'lly  i  No.  N3 
Wesi  Vuii  Uurett  SI.,  CbU-nKOy  IJl.l  No.  JAJIi 
South  Third  Ni.,  Si.  Louis,  .>Ju.  I  aud  it 
Wholesnie  Depot  ut  Win.  King  He  Bro.,  No. 
‘A  North  Liberty  Ht..  Itultiiuore,  i>ld. 
HASll’I.IC  CARD  A.M)  PRICE-LIST  bh.NT  FBIE 
ON  APPLICATION. 
Pltate  ttaU  where  you  taw  this  Advertitement. 
|Af~  Heiid  lor  Cutiilogue. 
ARE  YOU  COiNC  TO  PAINT? 
UHE  NONE  lILT  THE 
AVERILL  CHEMICAL  PAINT! 
MIXED  READY  FOR  USE. 
ovEn  rioii.iinii  iitir.sEH  have  been  painted  with  it. 
ONK  HUNDKKD  HEAUTIEUL  TINTS  AND  COLORS. 
IT  IS  THE  MOpiT  DL'KABLE  PAINT  IIIADK. 
IT  I-'  THE  H.A.^D^•^L^IE^iT  PAINT  IVIADE. 
IT  18  THE  llltfST  ErONOMIf'AL  PAI.NT  IN  THE  IIIARKET. 
IT  IS  and  ONLY  ItKl, TABLE  IMI.XED  PAINT. 
IT  18  GUARANTEED  TO  BE  KUPEKIUli  TO  ALL  OTHER  PAfNT.8. 
It  has  received  the  hUhosl  endorspiuents  from  thousaud.i  of  persons  who  have  used  U  In  various 
sections  of  the  Countrv. 
Sample  Cards,  together  with  testimonials  from  owners  of  the  Hriesl  residences  In  the  Country  furnished 
free  by  the 
AVERILL  CHEMICAL  PAINT  CO., 
For  sale  in  every  sa  tloii  of  the  Country.  32  Burling  Slip,  New  York  City. 
These  aro  the  host 
k  and  moat  economliial 
I  goods;  Impervious  to 
'damptieMi,  bent  and 
cold.  Rend  for  sani 
pies  to  RE.  HALE 
A  CO.,  58  and  58 1'urk 
Bloae,  Ninv  York, 
EARN  TELEGRAPH" 
I  The  best  offer  ever  made  to  young 
men  and  ladiea.  Address  With  stamp 
SHERMAN  TKL.  CO..  OUEULIN.  D. 
(OIHCDLAH. 
Consuiners  Importinj^  Tea  €••)  i 
No.  8  CIsurcli  Street.  r 
P.  O.  Box  5, 509.  New  York  City.  ) 
This  la  a  cooihloution  of  capitalists  to  supply  the 
consumers  of  Teas  throughout  the  United  States  on 
the  mutual  principle. 
We  have  experienced  agents  in  all  the  best  dis¬ 
tricts  of  (.^hlnaaud  .fapau  to  select  Teas  eipeciaily 
for  our  trade. 
Wc  expect  every  consumer  of  Teas  to  render  us  ai. 
tlie  asslaiunce  they  can  In  carrying  out  our  eutet- 
prise,  us  we  make  a  specialty  of  SUPl'l.YINU  CON. 
SUMKRH  ONLY  (and  allow  no  middlemen  to  make 
any  prudt  ou  our  Importatiuus),  wnioli  wiil  enable 
us  to  supply  them  with  Teas  at  prlcms  lower  than 
have  ever  boon  known,  and  of  those  tine  qualltlu 
thi't  seldom  reach  the  interior,  holiig  sold  only  to 
the  large  cities  and  among  the  very  nealthy. 
,^UoplDg  the  consumer  will  take  an  interest  In  onr 
enterprise,  and  send  at  once  for  a  circular  with  full 
explanations  of  bow  to  pMceed  to  obtain  our  goods, 
we  remain, 
Most  respectfully  yours, 
OoDMUiners  Imporiiu^  Tea  (!o.f 
No.  N  Ubiirch  8i., 
F.  O.  Box  .5, SUM.  New  York  City. 
Entered, according  to  Act  ut  Congress,  In  Jauaary, 
1874,  by  the  Consumers  Importing  Tc.i  Co.,  In  the 
Office  of  the  Librarian  of  Copgress,  Washington,  D.C. 
iEND  FOB  Cl  BC’ULAK  of  Agricultural  Iraple- 
5  ments  to  Abbott,  Bkk  w  A  Co.,  Mfr’s.Clevelund.O. 
iEND  TO  AIJLT.BAN  JL  TAY'LOK,  lYlanB- 
“  field,  O.,  for  a  picture  of  their  Rooster, /rce, 
END  yunr  addreM  for  tiie  **  Airrl^^uUurni  £coooRii«V’  doiicr<i  tiv« 
'  and  uluatmUd.  bKAI)Ll£V  MF'G  CO.,  SyzntuiYy  N*.  Y. 
GREAT  REDUCTION. 
TEAS  AND  COFFEES 
AT  WHOLESALE  PRICES. 
luoreaaed  Kuclllilee  lu  Club  Orgaulxers, 
Bend  for  New  Fries  List. 
rHEQREAT  AMERICAN  TEAfiOs 
P.  O,  Dor,  6643.  3i  &  33  Vesey  Bt.,  New  York 
THE  PEOPLE'S 
Porter  Blanchard’s  Sons, 
[Send  for  Circulars.]  CONCORD,  N.  H. 
Sample  chums  sent  to  towns  where  we  have  no 
Agents,  on  receipt  of  yd  per  cent,  loss  than  our 
retail  price. 
i.uuiiuifiiftsi-n  F 
Boiler  and  Engines. 
FLUE 
domestic;^ 
SEWING’  ^ 
MACHINES. 
w  Liberal  leruis  of  Exchange 
lor  Hecund-hand  Bacblues 
^  of  every  description. 
“DOMESTIC”  PAPER  FASHIONS. 
Tltclhisll’attertism.idv.  Send  Sets,  for  Catalogue.  ■' 
Address  DOMESTIC  SEWmC  MACHINE  C0„ 
Iky  Agents  Wantxd.  NEW  YOltK.  '■ 
Selling  rapidly.  Fuctorymuu  "Take"  to  them  at 
once.  Satiaractloii  kTuaru'.iteed.  Send  for  Illustrated 
(hreulur  ot  l*alry  Furnishings. 
WHITiYIAN  &  BURRELL, 
Little  Kalla,  N.  Y. 
L.4N1C  Ai  BODLEY’N 
Ten-Horse  Farm  Engine 
Awaidcd  Grand  Premium  oi 
*100.00  IN  GOJ.D 
At  the  last  Cluclniiail  industrlai  Exposition,  over 
six  exhibitors,  alter  u  six  days’  practical  te«t.  Send 
for  circular  giving  deiaUs  of  tho  famous  trial. 
LANE  &  BODLEY,  John  and  Water  Sts.,  Cincinnati. 
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A  Work  on  the  Breeding,  Rear 
Ing,  Care  and  General  Man¬ 
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THIS  la  one  of  the  finest  sotten-un  works  on  the 
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any  publication  of  the  kind  In  this  oountry.  It  Is 
finely  and  profusely  Illustrated,  and  printed  and 
bound  In  extra  style.  Contains  XU  large  ootaro 
pagee.  Bant,  by  mall,  post-paid,  for  11.50.  Address 
D.  D.  T.  niODRR,  Fiibiteher, 
7N  Duuue  Hi..  New  VorU. 
JJUY  WILLARD’S 
PRACTICAL  BUTTER  BOOK. 
Now  Ready.  Price  81. 
