OORE’S  RURAL  NEW-YORKER. 
SSlit  iiitlr  gumor. 
A  WET  MOON. 
Tub  weather  dejjendH  on  the  moon  aa  a  rule, 
And  I've  foiiDc)  that  the  Kitj'lnir  1h  tnie. 
For  at  Bala  It  raiiia  when  the  niooii’a  at  the  full, 
And  it  rain*  when  the  iuooii’h  at  the  new ; 
When  the  moon’s  at  the  quarter,  then  down  comes  the 
rain. 
At  the  half  It’a  no  bett4!r  1  ween ; 
When  the  moon’s  at  three-quai’tcrs,  "  it’s  at  it  atjain,” 
And  it  rains  besides  mostly  between. 
[London  Garden. 
- ♦♦♦ - 
SPASKS  AND  SPLINTEES. 
A  preacueb’s  word  should  be  law  only  when  it 
is  gospel. 
The  most  likely  thing  to  become  a  woman — A 
little  girl. 
OsE  swallow  does  not  make  a  spring,  but  a 
dozen  make  a  fall. 
At  a  recent  spelling-match  one  man  sijelt  it 
“  jtasnip  ”  and  got  beet. 
WirES  you  see  a  young  goat  asleep  cau  you  call 
it  a  case  of  kid-napping. 
Inpependenoe  of  thought  aud  expression  is  a 
rare  virtue  in  these  days. 
Many  men  are  like  asses,  but  it  was  only  in 
Balaam’s  case  that  the  likeness  was  a  speaking 
one. 
Wno  was  the  straightest  mau  in  the  Bible  ?— 
Joseph,  for  Pharoah  wanted  to  make  a  ruler  of 
liim. 
An  Irishman  once  ordered  a  painter  to  draw 
his  pictiu’e  aud  to  represent  him  staiiding  bekuid 
a  tree. 
Why  has  an  ocean  voyage  no  ten-ors  for  phy¬ 
sicians?  Because  they  are  accustomed  to  sea¬ 
sickness. 
Why  is  a  mad  bull  an  animal  of  convivial  dis¬ 
position  ?  Because  he  offers  a  horn  to  everyone 
he  meets. 
The  youug  mau  who  came  near  being  trans¬ 
fixed  by  Cupid’s  darts,  remarked  that  he  had  au 
iiiTow  escajx'. 
A  yiNEOAK-UEABTED  old  bachelor  says  ho  al¬ 
ways  looked  under  the  head  of  “  marriages”  for 
the  news  of  the  weak. 
WiNTEB  clothes,  worn  thin,  will  be  the  pre¬ 
vailing  style  this  spring.  It  is  necessity  that 
compels  it. —  Yonla  rs  Gazette, 
To  reprove  small  faults  with  utidue  vehemencit 
is  ns  absurd  as  to  setde  to  remove  a  fly  from  a 
friend’s  foroheail  with  ii  ftlodgo-hammor. 
An  Irishman  recently  soliquizod; — “What  a 
waste  of  money  to  bo  buying  mate  when  you 
know  that  half  of  it  is  bone,  while  you  can  spend 
it  for  whisky  that  hasn't  a  bone  in  it.” 
Josh  Bn.LtNos  says: — “There  is  one  thing 
about  a  hen  that  looks  like  wisdom — they  don’t, 
cackle  much  i.ill  they  have  laid  their  eggs.  Sum. 
pbolks  are  alwus  a  bragging  aud  cackling  what 
they  arc  gotiig  few  do  before  hand.” 
“  My  dear  boy,”  said  a  fond  auut  to  a  very  fast 
nephew,  “  don’t  you  know  that  in  loading  thin 
mrogular  life  you  are  shortening  your  days?’’ 
“  It’s  quite  possible,’’ was  the  cool  reply,  “but 
then  look  how  I  lengthen  my  nights !” 
A  OENTEEMAN  the  otlior  day  saw  a  neatly  wrap¬ 
ped  package  lying  on  the  sidewalk,  hut  was  too 
sharp  to  pick  it  up.  and  merely  smiled  at  the 
harmless  sell  and  jiasscd  on.  When  however, 
he  saw  a  bootblack  stop  aud  undo  it  aud  take  out 
a  box  of  line  eigars  that  some  one  had  fkfopped, 
the  world  seemed  to  be  all  slipping  away  from 
him. 
Thus  rules  the  festive  gambolalre  ■ 
Never  bet  on  a  sIukIc  paire, 
For  three  of  a  kind  will  beat  you  square, 
Or  even  a  straiKht  will  lead  that  are ; 
But  if  a  full  your  hand  shall  Ijoar, 
Your  clmuee  to  win  luiiy  Iw.'  reckoned  fair— 
That  is,  if  your  throe  are  away  up  there ; 
King’s  luaj-  do,  but  by  acc.a  swear. 
Though  four  of  a  kind  way  make  you  stare. 
Or  a  royal  flush  lift  the.h’inir  hand’s  hair. 
Therefore,  draw,  boya,  draw  with  care 
And  shift  your  cards  wltli  a  careless  air. 
That  when  at  last  to  call  you  dare, 
You  may  ’*  rake  the  pile  ”  of  the  gay  croupaire. 
[Sum,  , 
As  a  reporter  passed  a  North  HiU  school-houso 
yesterday,  says  the  Burlington  Ilawkeye,  a 
studious-looking  lad  emerged  from  one  of  the  i 
doors  witli  a  worried  expression  of  coiuvtenaco 
and  ambled  round  to  tlio  rear  of  the  building,, 
closely  followed  by  a  compaui(.in,  who  popped 
from  behind  the  fence.  The  two  sought  a 
retired  nook,  where  the  studious  lad  backed  up 
against  the  wall,  aud  reaching  his  haiul  behind 
him  into  that  department  of  a  boy’s  clothing  that 
is  patched  next  after  his  knees,  he  drew  forth 
one  buckskin  mit,  and  again  another.  As  he  re¬ 
ad  justed  his  deranged  garments,  ho  winced  a 
trille  aud  rubbing  a  little  lower  down  on  his 
anatomy,  gave  vent  to  the  remark  “I  say, 
they’re  pretty  good,  Jemmy,  but  he  missed  ’em. 
seven  times.” 
IT*e  A.  GOlVlil  CiOOSE,  ISU1LE.» 
Mohal. — Never  chain  a  faithful  Watch-Dog  when  sly  Rej'uard  is  in  tlie  neighborhood. 
CHEESE  m  BUTTER 
Factory  Apparatus. 
“  ECONOMIZER”  "Ur 
Boiler  and  Engines, 
SelliDR  rapidly.  Fuctorymen  “  Take”  lo  them  at 
once.  Satlsractloi)  guarBiiteod.  Send  for  Illustrated 
Circular  of  Dairy  Furiilsliiiigs. 
WHITMAN  4Sk  BBKREDL, 
Llulo  Fall.,  N.  Y. 
liANE  A  BOI>I,KY»S 
Ten-Horse  Farm  Engine 
Awarded  Grand  Premium  of 
^  WILBOR’S  COMPOUHD  OF  ^ 
PTIEE  COD  LIVEE 
xOIL^AND  LIJgE.^ 
To  One  und  All.— Arc  you  Muflrring  from  n 
cough,  ould,  asthinu,  hriwiclirtla  or  any  of  tlio  various 
pulmonary  troubles,  titnt  so  often  end  in  consump¬ 
tion  ?  If  so,  use  *'  iVtlbor’ii  l‘we  Cod  Liver  Oil  and 
Liint,"  a  sale  und  effloacious  remedy.  This  is  no 
quack  preparation,  liuL  is  rogularly  prescritied  by 
the  medical  faciiltv.  MamifHClurcd  only  by  A.  B. 
WiLuoii,  Uliomist.  Boston.  Sold  by  all  druggists, 
STEAM  ENGINES  FOR 
*100.0  0  IN  GOLD  CHEESE  FACTORIES,  &c. 
ibe  Imki.  (liuRinnat.i  Industrial  Exiiosltion.  over  ..™.  .  . . .  ri 
At  the  last  Cincinnati  industrial  Exposition,  over 
six  exhibitors,  utter  aslx  days’  practical  te.Ht.  Send 
tor  Circular  giving  details  of  the  famous  trial. 
LANE  &  BODLEY,  John  and  Water  Sts.,  Cincionjti.  C'llAUhKrt 
“  The  Iron  Bluve,”  First  Premium  N.  Y.  State  Fair. 
1H7.5.  Also  many  other  great  Improveiueiits  In  Ciieese 
una  Bulter-ukakiug  Atiparutus.  Send  furClruular. 
C'llAUhKS  Mll,I,AU  vV  »(»N,  I’llcii,  N,  Y. 
*Tlw  pOHUa  will  <l0  ftl  I  I  '>»  vri#'  I" 
^  •lump  fhf  icYritt'Ml.iis.  (\j  ■  "H 
w/w  ^K.Witiunti' fV  gJl  |S  rs 
N,Y.  ihu  Ih'iI  rbunri'M  HI  I  ■il| 
‘Thi*  Or*»fcrU*n  Ar<!  il*c  ticftts**— 1'.  M 
WILLARD’S 
Practical  Dairy  Hasliaiflry. 
A  Complete  Treatlee  ou  Dairy  Farms 
and  Farmlue, 
Dairy  Stock  and  Stock.  FccdlUKy 
nillky  Its  Management  and  Mann- 
factnre  Into  Bntter  and  Cheese, 
History  and  Mode  of  Oreanlzatlon  of 
■Cutter  and  Cheese  Factories, 
Dairy  Dtouslls,  Ftc.,  £te. 
BY  S.  A.  WIXsZsARD,  A.  XU., 
IMfrv  Huabandrv  EdiUrr  of  Moore'M  Rural  Nne- 
Yorker,  Lecturer  fn  Cornell  Uninertity,  Maine 
Agricultural  CoUrye,  Etc.,  Etc. 
THIS  ti  the  moat  full,  practtoal  and  reliable  work 
On  Dairy  Biiabandry  extant;  Indeed  the  only  one 
which  describes  the  recent  great  Improvemenls  In 
the  Dairy  Biislneis.  It  Is  highly  commended  by  lead¬ 
ing  AgriouUural  and  other  influentUil  joumala,  and 
must  speedily  became  (In  fiuii  ti  already)  the  Stand- 
nrd  and  Only  Authority.  It  will  pay  every  one  en¬ 
gaged  In  any  branch  of  ctalry  businees,  or  who  keeps 
a  single  cow,  to  obtain  emd  study  this  work. 
D.  D.  T.  MOOUE,  Publl.taer, 
98  Duann  8t.,  New  York. 
ALLEN’S 
AMERICAN^CATTLEs 
THEIR  HISTORY,  BREEDING  AND 
MANAGEMENT. 
KTCKT  breeder  or  owner  of  Cuttle  should  have  this 
work  by  Hon.  I.KWiR  F.  A  tr.iiN,  Kx-Prast.  N.  Y,  Siate 
Ag.  Society,  Kditor  of  "  Aiuerloan  Bhort-Uorn  Herd 
Bunk,”  Ac.,  Ac.  It  IS  a  handsomely  Illustrated  and 
well  prime  and  bound  volume  of  B2k  duodecimo 
pages.  Mailed,  post-paid,  to  any  address  in  United 
States  or  Canada  on  receipt  of  reducod  price.  %J, 
Address 
O.,  D.  T,  MOORE, 
78  Dunne  MU.  N.  V. 
gUY  WILLARD’S 
PRACTICAL  BUTTER  BOOK. 
Now  Ready.  Price  SI, 
Address  MOORE’S  RURAL  NEW  YORKER. 
78  Duane  St.,  New  Yort 
a. 
CO 
lii 
Any  shauk  prom  Pure  White  to  .Iet  black, 
AND.  AS  IT  l.H  MIXfD  READY  FOR  tJSE, 
EVERY  MAN  CAN  BE  HIS  OWN  PAINTER. 
The  iuoorporatlcin  of  Kb'BIIKK  in  our  paint  iiiukcs 
it  uiuqaoled  by  uuy  Oilier.  It  IS  uniiHecrcd  by  change 
of  tcmperuturis  and  Is  nerlectly  waterproof.  It  pre- 
snnls  til*  flnest  possible  Uuisb,  will  not  crack  or  peel 
off.  and  is  In  every  way  the  "  ISext  Puiut"  for  elihcr 
Inside  or  outside  painting.  Is  from  uue-fourlli  to  one- 
third  cheaper,  atid  ln>ts  three  tlra(>Nas  lung  us  the 
best  leml  and  oil  paints.  Tlicnlinost  nnanimonaver- 
diet  Of  the  many  ihoUMtnilS  who  have  used  our  paint 
Is  that  it  Is  far  eupeiior  to  any  other  paint  In  use. 
Be  sure  ilint  our  Tit  A  DK  ,M  A  UK  (u  fac-slmlle 
of  whicb  Is  given  above),  I*  on 
every  pnckogc. 
The  great  pnpularllr  of  and  demand  for  our  point 
has  necossitntoil  the  esuibllshlng  of  ”  liranch  i'ac- 
torleg,’’  as  follows: 
No.  .50U  We. I  S«t..  New  A'ork  fily  >  No.  S3 
West  Vun  Hiireii  St..  C'liicHgo.  IU.|  No.  'AIO 
Monlli  Tlilrd  8l..  SI.  I.oills.  Jlo.  I  anil  a 
Wboleanle  Depot  at  Win.  King  iV  ftro.,  No. 
'£  .N’orili  Liberty  Bnliiinore.  Md. 
SAMFl.F  CAKD  A.SU  I’UICK-LIST  SENT  FR[F 
ON  Al’PLICATION. 
ricaee  etate  wlurt  V’U  rdw  ttiie  Advrrtieement. 
C'llAULKS  MILI.AU  A”.  NON,  I’lieii,  N,  Y. 
Try  the  eOHTLAHD  PIATFOBM  SPRIHB  WAOOnT 
Learn  TELEGRAPH-y 
The  best  offer  ever  made  to  young  V 
men  and  ladles.  Address  With  stamp  ms 
BliEKMAN  TKL.  CO.,  Oheulin,  O. 
BAND  AIL’S 
Practical  Shepherd 
A  COMPLETE  TREATISE 
ON  THE  BREEDINQ,  MANAGEMENT 
AND  DISEASES  OF  SHEEP, 
This  Work,  by  the  Hou.  Henry  B.  Randall, 
LL.  D.,  (author  of  “  Sheep  Husbandry  In  the  Bouth,” 
*  B'lne  Wool  Sheep  Husbandry,”  ao..)  is  the  Buuiil- 
ard  Authority  on  the  Bubjeot.  It  is  the  most  com¬ 
plete  and  reliable  Treatise  on  American  Bbeep  Uas- 
bandry  ever  published,  and  (us  the  New  iCngland 
Farmer  says)  “should  be  In  the  hand  and  head  of 
every  penton  owning  sheep.” 
The  PKAtmcAL  BUEPBEKD  oentalns  4fil  pages,  and 
Is  Illustrated,  printed  and  bound  In  superior  stvie. 
Twenty-seventh  Rdltlon  new  ready.  Bent  by  mull 
post-paid,  on  receipt  of  price— D.  Address 
RURAL  FUMLIHIIINO  CO., 
78  DuFoe  St.,  New  York. 
INEY^lflETAM. 
A  Vegetable  Mauaal,  Prepared  wltb 
a  view  to  Economy  and  Pioflt. 
THIS  Work  upon  Kitchen  aud  Market  ttardenluK 
and  the  Field  Culture  of  Root  Crops,  la  by  P.  T. 
QtriNN.  Practical  Horticulturist,  (Author  of  ”  Pear 
Culture  for  Profll,”)  aud  should  be  owned  and  studied 
by  every  one  interested  In  Gardening,  It  is  an  able, 
practical,  profusely  lUustrated  work  ef  308  12mo. 
paxes.  Bent,  post-paid,  for  fl,&0.  Address 
D.  D.  T.  MOORE,  ihibItMher, 
78  Duane  8t.,  New  York. 
Moore’s  Rural  Nkw-Yokker,  conducted  by 
our  Jolly  friend,  Hon.  D.  D.  T,  Moore,  leads  all  tho 
))aperB  of  Its  class  In  this  country,  ft  is  edited  with 
great  luire  und  uus  u  large  vaiiety  of  interesting  and 
iDstruuUvo  (lepurtuiuuU  fur  the  family  und  ine  Bi-e- 
slde.  Convenient  In  form,  remurkahly  neatiaiypog- 
rapby.  Bbonndine  In  timely  illustrations,  and  well 
filled  with  tho  choicest  of  mutter,  both  original  and 
selected,  ll^as  no  superior  In  Us  peculiar  sphere.— 
Feiikerii  Gazette. 
MOORE’S  RruAi.  New-Yohker  Is  an  exoellei-t 
Agricultural  paper,  and  very  popular.  As  a  family 
visitant  it  is  hard  to  beat  in  the  attractions  It  huids 
forth  for  youugand  old.  Weare  pleased  to  see  that 
Mr.  Moore  is  full  of  bis  old  enterprise  and  bent  on 
making  the  paper  better  aud  better  from  year  to 
■year.— rates  Co.  Chronicle. 
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us  to  supply  them  with  Teas  at  pricoa  lower  thau 
have  over  been  known,  and  of  thusc  fine  qualltle 
tlirt  seldom  rcacli  tho  interior,  being  sold  only  to 
the  large  cities  and  among  tlie  very  wealthy. 
Hoping  the  consumer  will  lake  an  Inwiest  in  our 
enterprise,  und  send  at  onco  fur  ii  circular  wltb  full 
explanations  of  how  tc  proceed  to  obtain  our  goods, 
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I  THE  PEOPLE'S 
PRACTICAL  POULTRY  BOOK. 
A  Work  on  the  Breeding,  Rear 
ing.  Care  and  General  Man¬ 
agement  of  Poultry. 
THig  Is  one  of  the  Buest  gottea-uu  works  on  the 
subject  on  which  It  tieau,  for  Its  size  and  price,  of 
any  publication  of  tbe  kind  In  this  country.  It  is 
flnely  and  profusely  Illustrated,  and  printed  and 
bound  In  extra  style.  Contains  214  large  octavo 
pages.  Bent,  by  mall,  post-paid,  for  RLSO.  Address 
D.  D.  T.  MOORE,  Publisher, 
78  Duiino  Ht.,  New  Yorb. 
gUY  WILLARD’S 
PRACTICAL  BUTTER  BOOK. 
Now  Ready.  Price  81. 
Address  MOORE’S  RURAL  NEW-YORKER, 
78  Duane  St„  New  Y ork 
