TjTHEBESJ’ 
SOLD  EVERYWHER 
1,»00  S<)M»  LAST  SEASON 
wiTHOiT  om:  FAimii:  or  rejk(tio\. 
This  is  th'f  famous  Tlireshins  laaclilnc  that  liiis 
“sw<‘pt  th«!  ticld"  nnrl  created  such  a  revolution  in 
the  trade,  hy  Us  ,m atciilk.'^s  Ghaix-Sa vino  anu 
time-savjvo  principles. 
SFABKS  AUD  SPLINXEBS. 
Men  Baid  to  have  a  Hhort  weigh  of  doing  busi- 
uesB  ? — tkial  dealers. 
The  reason  why  rats  desert  a  sinking  ship  has 
been  rediscovered  by  the  Burlington  Hawkeye. 
It  is  bocanse  of  their  snjierior  gnawtical  science. 
That  balky  animal,  the  lobshtr,  (says  the  New 
York  Herald)  which  blushes  In  hot  water,  into 
which  it  is  always  getting,  will  have  a  short  crop 
of  itself  this  year,  owing  to  the  storms. 
A  i.ADDY  who  had  un  ofTer  of  marriage  from  a 
Mr.  Moore,  wrote  to  him  and  asked  for  time  to 
consider  the  matter.  'I'lie  letter  was  courteous 
and  brief,  closing  witli  “  No  more  at  present.” 
“  I  doesn’t  want  no  lawyer ;  I’se  gwine  to  tell 
de  troof  dis  time,"  is  what  a  regular  customer  of 
the  Recorder’s  Couil  told  his  Honor  wheii  tliat 
functionary  inquired  if  be  had  engaged  legal 
assistance. 
Lady— “  Now,  Mr.  Bnapiier,  as  I  saw  you  at 
cliurch  last  Sunday,  tell  me  what  you  think  of 
our  new  preacher  ?"  Air.  Snajipor-  I  tliink  he 
would  l>e  a  lirst-olass  martyr  at  the  stake  ?” 
l.ady— “•  Why  «o,  Mr.  Snapper  ?”  Hnapper — 
•  ‘  Because  he  is  so  vei7  di'y.” 
A  sDiour  mistake  at  christening— Clergyman 
(^who  has  forgotten  the  day  of  the  month)— 
"Let  me  soe;  this  is  the— ah — thirteenth,  I 
believe?”  Pond  mother  (not  catching  the  idea 
exactly,  but  tlhukiug  of  her  family)— "Why 
bless  youi‘  stars  !  No,  this  is  only  the  oleventli !” 
JUXTAP0.SIT10N.  — The  approved  style  of  an 
uouncing  weddings  wrought  a  very  signiftcant 
combination  in  a  Versailles,  Georgia,  exchange  1 
of  a  recent  date.  Mr.  Harry  L.  Cramp  was 
married  to  Miss  Nettie  Kollock,  and  a  paragraph 
to  that  effect  was  headed  "  Cramp — Kollock." 
An  ardent  lover  was  once  pressing  his  suit. 
The  lady  said: — "  I  like  you  exceedingly,  but  I 
cannot  quit  my  home :  I  am  a  widow’s  darling, 
and  no  husband  could  equal  my  parent  in  kind¬ 
ness.”  “.She  may  be  very  kind,”  replied  the 
wooer ;  "  but  be  my  wife,  we  will  live  togothei', 
and  see  if  I  don't  heat  your  iiioOu^r. 
"  Class  in  the  middle  of  geogi-aphy,  stand  up,” 
said  a  schoolmaster.  "  What  is  a  pyramid?”  he 
asked.  "Apiloofracu  in  a  circus,  one  on  top 
of  the  other.”  "Where’s  Egypt?”  "Where  it 
always  was.”  "Where’s  Wales?”  "All  over 
the  sea.”  "Very  well,"  said  the  schoolmaster, 
“  stay  there  till  I  show  you  a  siiecies  of  birch 
that  grows  all  over  the  laud.” 
It  is  well  enougli  to  talk  of  elevating  the  tone 
of  social  conversation,  bnt  when  a  well-meaning 
young  man  trios  to  introduce  protoplasm  as  a 
subject,  at  a  little  gathering,  and  llnds  tliat 
everybody  thinks  he  is  referring  to  a  new  kind  of 
plaster,  and  considers  him  indelicate  in  doing  so, 
he  is  apt  to  feel  that  the  life  of  the  reformer  is  a 
kind  of  iierpetual  picnic  on  an  ant-biU. — Nor- 
%oich  Bulletin. 
Fox’s  Pay  Day.— Charles  Fox  had  an  un¬ 
fortunate  creditor  who  insisted  that  he  would 
not  leave  until  a  day  for  piaymcnt  was  named. 
"Will  you  go,  then?”  asked  the  mininister. 
"Yes,  and  not  trouble  you  until  the  day  arrives,” 
replied  the  dun.  "  Well,  then,”  said  Fox,  slow¬ 
ly.  "  I  will  pay  you  on  the  d.ay  of  judgement. 
But  stop ;  as  that  will  be  a  very  busy  time,  let 
us  make  it  the  day  after.” 
Well  Connected. — John  Bannister,  the  corn- 
median,  was  presented  to  an  old  lady  proud  of 
ancient  and  noble  blood.  The  old  lady  asked  a 
wit  of  the  day,  who  was  present.  "  Who  are  the 
Bannisters  ?  Are  they  of  a  good  family  ?"  "  Yes," 
said  the  wit ;  "  very  good  indeed ;  they  are  close¬ 
ly  connected  with  the  Slaim.^  “Oh,”  said  the 
lady,  "  a  very  ancient  family  of  Ayrshire — dates 
back  to  1400 ;  I  am  delighted  to  see  your  friend.” 
Anoels  Moltino. — k  teacher  in  a  Sunday 
school,  says  the  New  York  Evening  Post,  was  ex¬ 
plaining  to  his  class  of  boys  the  mcauiug  of 
"Jacob's  ladder,”  when  one  of  the  number, 
more  inquiative  than  attentive,  inquired ; — "If 
the  angels  had  Avings  what  was  the  need  of  a 
ladder  for  them  ?"  This  was  a  poser,  and  while 
he  was  meditating  a  reply  and  unable  to  answer, 
another  boy  exclaimed,  "  I'll  bet  I  can  tell  what 
they  used  the  ladder  for."  "  Out  with  it,  then,” 
said  the  tcfmher.  "  Oh.  1  guess  they  were  molt¬ 
ing.” 
Gave  It  Up. — The  custom  of  appointing  young 
lawyers  to  defend  pauper  criminals,  says  the  San 
Antonia  (Texas)  Herald,  received  a  backset  the 
other  day  in  our  Distiict  Court.  His  Honor, 
Judge  Noouau,  had  appointed  two  young  laivyers 
to  defend  an  old  and  experienced  horse-tliief. 
After  inspecting  his  counsel  for  some  time  in 
silence,  the  prisoner  rose  in  his  place  and  adch'ess- 
ed  the  Bench.  "Air  them  to  defend  me?” 
"  Yes,  sir,”  said  his  Honor.  "  Both  of  ’em,”  in- 
quii’ed  the  prisoner.  Both  of  them,"  respond¬ 
ed  the  Judge.  "  Then  I  plead  guilty,”  and  the 
poor  devil  took  his  seat  and  sighed  heavily. 
TUR  ENOIt.\UU  S  Wy\sr.\GKi.fKrain.  so  inevit- 
ublt  with  other  ntyles  of  Threslieni,  cun  be  8AV1SD 
by  this  Improved  Maelitni!,  »niHci<  nt,  <ui  fvery  Ji>b,  to 
more  tluut  pay  ult  exprueta  <il  thresblnR. 
FLAX.  TIMOTHY,  MILLKT.  HUNGARIAN  aiiU 
like  seodR,  urn  tbrepbed.  separ  ited.  cleaned  and 
suviul,  us  Gimlly  aud  perfecily  an  Wliout,  Outs,  Rye 
or  Hurley. 
AN  EXTRA  PRICK  l-i  usuiillr  paid  for  ^raiu  and 
seeds  cleaned  by  thi*  machine,  for  extra  cleanliness. 
IN  THE  WKT  GRAIN  of  l.tritUese  were  substan¬ 
tially  the  O.NLY  MACiilNlSS  tliut  cor.ld  run  with 
prutlt  or  economy,  dolna  fust,  i  horoiiNh  and  perfect 
work,  it'lit'K  ut Uerr  utltrly  fatleU. 
All  GRAIN.  Tl.MH  and  MONEY  wasting  conipll- 
catloDs.  such  as  ••  Endless  Aprons,"  "  Raddles,” 
'•  Beater*,”  “Pickers,”  etc.,  uro  rnlirely  disprnml 
■u'tlh;  less  than  ouivball  Hie  usual  tiears,  Belts, 
Boxes  and  Journals;  i-asier  munsged;  more  dura¬ 
ble;  light  running;  no  costly  repairs;  no  dust;  no 
’  litterings *'  u>  clean  up;  not  troubled  by  adverse 
winds,  niln  nr  storm^. 
PARMRIiSand  GRAIN  RAISERS  who  are  posted 
In  the  large  savlog  made  by  It,  will  not  employ  In¬ 
ferior  and  wastelul  muchino*,  but  will  itisM  on  this 
Improved  Tbivsher  doing  their  work. 
FOUR  SIZES  made  forh,  H,  id  and  13  Horse  Powers. 
Also  u  spoclnlty  of  SepahaTOKB  designed  and  made 
KXPIIKSBLY  rOK  STEASI  POWER. 
TWO  STYLES  OF  HORSE  POWERS,  viz.:  our 
improved  “Triple  Gear,”  and  otir  “Spur  Speed," 
(Woodbury  Style),  both  ”  Mounted  ”  on  .four  wheels. 
IF  INTKUB3TFH)  In  Tiirealiing  orGtaln  Uaislng, 
apply  to  our  nearest  Healer,  or  write  to  os  for  Illus¬ 
trated  Circular  (sent  free)  giving  full  particulars  of 
Sizes.  Styles,  Price*.  Terms,  etc, 
Nichols,  Shepard  &  Co., 
Battle  Creek,  Itlicli, 
SmUNG-TUVIE  VISITA.TIO]Ve. 
Jones  prepares  to  hold  the  fort  against  house-cleaning  iuvader.s!  Wonders  if  he  is  secure. 
ARE  YOU  GOING  TO  PAINT? 
USE  NONE  BUT  THE 
MIXED  READY  FOR  USE. 
I*1=«.I033  n23I3XJOEH>. 
OVER  300,U00  HOUSES  HAVE  BEEN  PAINTED  WITH  IT. 
ONE  HUNDRED  BEAUTIFUL  TINTS  AND  COLORS. 
IT  IS  THE  MOST  DURABLE  PAINT  MADE. 
IT  IM  THE  HANDSO.REST  PAINT  MADE. 
IT  IS  THE  MOrsT  ECONOMICAL  PAI.NT  IN  THE  MARKET. 
IT  IS  T1IE„ STANDARD.  AND  OSlJ.'  RELIABLE  MIXED  PAINT. 
IT  Is  guaranteed  to  be  SUPLUIOlt  TO  ALL  OTIiER  PAINT.S. 
It  has  received  the  highest  endorsements  from  thousands  of  persons  who  have  used  It  In  various 
sections  of  the  Country. 
Sample  Cards,  together  with  testimonials  from  owners  of  the  finest  residences  lb  the  Country  furnished 
free  by  the 
AVERILL  CHEMICAL  PAINT  CO., 
For  sale  in  every  section  of  the  Country.  32  BurllMg  Slip,  NOW  York  City. 
Patent  Carbon  Plow. 
Wood  or  Iron  Beam 
Carboti  is  a  2y>'adical  mtefure  of  Bteel,  Iron 
and  other  metals.  Cast  in  form,  harder  than 
steel  or  any  surf ace~ch  Hied  Iron.  Will  scour  in 
any  soil.  Costs  less  than  steel,  and  but  a  (rifle 
more  than  cast-iron. 
BEST  PAINT  IN  THE  WORLD 
The  Hion  Patent 
There  Is  no  Paint  manufactured  that  will  resist  water  equal  to  It.  It  Is  Smooth, 
Glossy,  Durable,  Elastic,  Beautiful  and  Economical ;  and  of  any  shade  from 
PURE  WHITE  to  JET  BLACK  ;  and  ns  evidence  of  Its  being  the  IJEST PAINT, 
the  necessity  of  their  establisULug  the  following  Branch  Factories  will  abun¬ 
dantly  testify. 
BRANCH  TACTORIBS: 
A06  Weal  Si.,  New  York,  S3  W'est  Vuu  Humi  St.,  Chicago,  III. 
5810  S.  Third  .Si.,  St.  l.uuia.  Mo.;  nud  a  Whuli-aalc  Depot  at  W’lii. 
King  &  Bro.,  No.  ‘8  Norili  Liberty  .St,,  Ualtiiiioro,  Md, 
Sample  Card  and  numerovis  Testimonials  Bent  FEEE  on  application, 
PREE-GIKFORD’S  .SWINGING 
^  CATTLE  STANCHIONS, 
Self-closiug,  self-fastening.  One  farm  rtgbt  free  in 
each  town  to  the  first  anpllciint.  Gd'f  name  of  town, 
county  and  State.  For  Illustrated  Descriptive  Circu¬ 
lar  and  Deed,  send  25  oenia  to 
W.  C.  GlFh'ORD,  Jamestown,  N.  Y. 
(CIRCOLAR. 
Oolisamers  Importing  Tea  ('o.y ) 
No.  8  Cliurch  Ntreet,  r 
F.  O.  Box  6, SOD.  New  York  CII7.  ) 
This  Isa  combination  of  capitalists  to  supply  the 
ouusnmere  of  Teas  throughout  the  United  Btates  on 
the  mutual  principle. 
We  have  experienced  agents  in  all  the  best  dis¬ 
tricts  of  China  and  Japan  to  select  Teas  especially 
for  our  trade. 
We  expect  every  consumer  of  Teas  to  render  us  ad 
the  assistance  they  can  in  carrylug  out  our  enter¬ 
prise,  as  we  inalce  a  specialty  of  SUPPLY'ING  CON. 
BUMER^  UNLY  (and  allow  no  middlemen  to  make 
any  profit  on  our  Importations),  wnich  will  enable 
us  to  supply  them  with  Teas  at  prices  lower  than 
nave  ever  been  known,  and  of  those  Hue  qualltle 
tint  seldom  reach  the  Interior,  being  sold  only  to 
the  large  cities  nud  among  the  very  wealthy. 
Hoping  the  consumer  will  take  an  interest  in  our 
enterprise,  and  send  at  once  tor  a  circular  with  full 
explanations  of  how  to  proceed  to  obuiin  our  goods, 
we  remain, 
Most  respectfully  yours, 
('onsuiuers  Importlu^  Tea  €o.y 
No.  N  Church  Nt., 
P.  U.  Box  3,301).  New  York  City. 
Entered,  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  In  January, 
1874,  by  the  Consumers  Importing  Tea  Co.,  in  the 
Otfioc  of  the  Librarian  of  Congress,  Washington,  D.C, 
Self- Discharging  and  Hand 
Lever  Hay  Rake, 
For  prices  and  further  InfonuaUon.  address 
RE.MINGTO.N  AG’L  CO., 
Ilion,  N.  Y. 
E,ND  yolu  Address  fur  tbe  Ain’icultural  KcDuomUl/*  deftrriplive 
and  llluUffttcda  iSKAOLEY  MrG  CO,^  Syracuse,  N.  Y. 
GRHAT  RHDIJCTION. 
TEAS  AND  COFFEES 
AT  WHOLESALE  FR1€ES. 
Increnaed  Kanllitles  to  Club  Orgnnlieero. 
Neud  for  New  Price  I.lat. 
THEfiREATAMERICANTEACO. 
P.  O.  Box  5643.  81  &  33  Vesey  St.,  Hew  York 
One  Agent  wanted  lu  every  town,  olty  or  eonnty.  to  can, 
vaes  for  *  reipeclable  bunueu.Ia  wlilcb  SQV  active  and  intellp^^^ 
gent  innn  or  woman  can  eaelly  make  from  to  StlO 
perday.  Tkc tmslneu It ne w  and  nermn- 
lie, It,  at  we  nuke  the  same  offer  neat 
year  that  we  do  tLU  X 
td  l*fore,  1 1  ^  urorfi  in  1.-, 
EARN  TELEGRAPH 
The  best  offer  ever  made  to  young 
men  and  ladles.  Address  with  stamp 
SHERMAN  TEL.  CO„  OBKRLIN,  O. 
L.LNli;  A  BODLEY’S 
Ten-Horse  Farm  Engine 
Awarded  Grand  Premium  of 
SOLE  MANUFX.CTDREBa, 
Porter  Blanchard’s  Sons, 
[Send  for  Circuleirs.]  CONCORD,  N.  H. 
Sample  churns  sent  to  towns  where  we  have  no 
Agents,  on  receipt  of  "25  per  cent,  less  than  our 
retail  price. 
At  the  last  Glnclaiiatl  Industrial  Exposition,  over 
six  exniblvors,  after  a  six  days’  practical  test.  Send 
for  CUicular  giving  details  of  the  famous  trial. 
LANE  &  BODLEY,  John  and  Water  Sts.,  Clncinoali. 
END  TO  AULTMAN  it  TAYLOR,  Mana 
I  field,  O.,  fora  picture  of  their  Rooster, /m. 
KND  FOR  CIRCULAR  of  Agricultural  Imple- 
I  ments  to  Abbott,  brew  a  Co„  Mfr's.Cleveland.O. 
1 
III' 
Ha 
