MOORE'S  RURAL  NEW-YORKER. 
SPABE8  AND  SPinTTERS.  - 
A  HiisTT  man  uever  wants  woe. 
Thebe  is  nothing  half  so  sad  in  life  as  the 
spectacle  of  an  auctioneer  attempting  to  sell 
$sl5,000  worth  of  goods  to  an  audience  whose 
aggregate  and  tangible  assets  foot  up  thirty 
cents. 
At  a  restaurant,  the  other  day,  a  man  inquired, 
reading  from  a  bUl  of  fare.  “  What  is  this 
sirloin  of  beef  a  la  flnanciere?"  "I  suppose 
that  is  cut  from  the  stock  exchange  bull,”  re- 
phed  liU  fiiond. 
“A  Settleh” — Hairdresser — ‘Air’s  rather 
thin  on  the  top,  sir.  We  can  ’igbly  rec—  Ons- 
tomer  (gaylj')— Yea.  Can  you  recommend  any 
stuff  which  will — ah — remove  the  r’mainder 
(OiH-rator  tacet.) 
Why  should  the  beehive  be  taken  as  a  symbol 
of  indusU-y  ?  Not  a  bee  is  to  be  seen  all  winter 
long,  while  the  cockroach  is  up  at  6  o’clock  in 
the  morning  and  never  goes  to  bed  till  midnight. 
Let’s  change  this  thing. 
“  Weli.,  you  know,  Bobby,  your  eye’s  very  in¬ 
flamed  ;  von  can't  go  out  with  Tommy  Brown  till 
that  speck  of  dcst'e  out  of  It!"  Bobby  (anxious 
to  be  off) I’m  all  right— I  know  it’s  out  now  ; 
(eai’ucbtly)  I — T  think  1  beard  it  fall  1 
The  original  Ulster  overcoat  was  Invented  at 
YuUey  Forge.  It  consisted  of  a  bed  blanket, 
■witb  holes  to  put  the  arms  through,  and  a  mule’s 
halter  for  a  bolt.  Washington’s  was  a  manly 
form,  and  he  never  looked  so  inspiring  as  when 
ho  wore  this  ample  garment. 
I  r  is  a  delicious  sight  to  see  a  Milwaukee  man 
toying  with  the  lobe  of  bis  sweetheart’s  ear— so 
while,  BO  soft,  so  different  from  an  elephant’s. 
Delicious,  likewise,  to  watch  him  wrsp  it  two  or 
three  times  around  his  neck,  and  pressing  his 
chin  lovingly  upon  it,  hear  him  murmur  those 
magic  words,  “  Yum !  yum  I" 
“  AhE  you  going  to  make  a  flower-bed  here, 
Judkins  1'”  asked  a  young  lady  of  the  gardener. 
“Yes,  miss,  them’s  tlio  orders,"  answered  the 
gardener.  “  Why  it  will  quite  spoil  our  croquet 
ground."  “Ciui’t  help  it,  miss,  them’s  your 
pa’s  orders.  He  says  he’ll  have  it  Uyed  out  for 
horticnlturo,  not  for  husbandry  !" 
Os  board  the  Canard  steamers  the  church 
service  is  read  every  Sunday  morning.  The 
muster-roll  of  the  crew  is  called  over,  and  they 
attend  service.  A  gentlamau  one  day  said  to 
one  of  the  saUors,  “Are  yon  obliged  to  attend 
public  worship?"  “Not  exactly  obUged,  sir,” 
replied  Jock,  “  we  should  lose  our  grog  if  we 
didn’t.” 
A  MEW  almanac  contains  the  following  valu¬ 
able  chronological  points : 
Mo.  1 12 1  Mr.  Wilkins  died  18M.  His  wife  wore  liall 
niourniug.  Moon  In  *  If  I. 
Tu  1 13 1  Very  low  tide*slioes.  Sun  in  apoplexy. 
Five  mtlliou  years  mto  to-day  base  ball  waa 
Invented- 
W.  I  Mi  The  Bostons  will  play  another  club.  Expect 
hot  weather  about  now. 
“Eveby  man,"  said  Mark  Lemon  one  evening 
at  his  club,  “has  his  peculiarities,  though  I 
think  I  am  as  free  from  them  as  most  men,  at 
any  rate  I  don’tknow  what  they  are  1”  Nobody 
contradicts  the  editor  of  Punch,  but  after  a 
while  Albert  Smith  asked Which  hand  do 
you  shave  with,  uncle  ?"  “  With  my  right  baud,” 
replied  Lemon.  “Ah,"  returned  the  other, 
“that’s  your  peculiarity;  most  people  shave 
witb  a  razor.” 
W 
fm 
'V 
Iff 
M 
11  »■  iiTi  U  im  R  iTh  \ 
The  Buffalo  Pitts  Threshers 
AND 
HORSE  POWERS. 
MANUFACTURED  AT 
THE  HTJBBER  PAINT 
IS  THX 
BEST  PAINT  IN  THE  WORLD. 
aER  Pjt  There  Is  no  Paint  manufactured  that  will  resist  water  equal  to  It.  It  is  SnaoCk. 
Glossy,  Durablie.  Elastic,  Beautiful  and  Economical ;  and  of  any  sbadr  frosn 
*'  PURE  WHITE  to  JET  BLACK  :  and  us  evidence  of  its  being  the  BBSl  P’JUjn 
necessity  of  tbelr  esiabllablag  the  following  Branch  factories  will  aiaua- 
dantly  testify. 
BRANCH  FAOTORIXIS: 
ijj^^^MRyOwc'  506  West  tst..  New  V«rk.  S3  West  Vnu  Bureu  St.,  Cbicagisv  ttU 
310  S.  Third  St.,  St.  Louie,  Nu.i  nod  a  Wholesale  Depot  at  Was.. 
King  Sc  Bro.,  No.  it  North  Liberty  St.,  Baltimore,  Md. 
Sample  Oard  and  numerous  Testimonials  sent  PEEE  on  appUcstion. 
.a.h.:e3  yoxj  o-oiisrca-  to 
USE  KOME  BUT  THE 
-A.xroirlll  01aLom.lo«/l 
THE  VIBRATOR." 
1,000  SOLD  LAST  SEASON 
WITHOUT  ONE  FAILURE  OR  REJECTION. 
This  Is  thp  famous  Threshing  machine  that  has 
“  swept  the  tlejd  ”  and  created  such  a  revolution  in 
the  trade,  by  lie  matchless  GKAlX-SAVTito  and 
TIME-Savixo  principles. 
The  Fitts  Agricultural  Works,  :Buffalo,  N.  Y., 
Have  been  known  throughout  the  United  Sutes  for  over  thirty  years  as  the 
MOST  PERFECT  AND  LIGHTEST-RUNNING  THRESHERS 
la  the  World. 
FOR  THE  HARVEST  OF  1876 
1  am  offering  a  large  assortment  uC  these  Celebrated  and  Fwpalar  Rlachiuee,  adapted,  to  either 
Steam,  Water  or  Horse  Power, 
They  combine  all  the  latest  Improvetnents  wlilott  are  to  be  found  la  other  threshers,  and  aesae  which 
are  found  in  the  Buffalo  Pitts  alone.  _  _ 
They  are  built  under  the  direct  supervision  of  Pbaciical  Thbisbbkubk  (who  have  followed  thresh¬ 
ing  us  a  business),  and  all  obanges  made  are  the  suggestions  of  experience  la  the  field,  and  ate  tbwronghiy 
tested  there  before  adoption. 
Threshers  will  appreciate  the  graatadrantBige  of  this  over 
Theoretical  Threshing  Machine  Building. 
The  greatest  care  is  given  to  using  the  very  b«s(  material  and  to  having  the  work  done  In  the  vwat  thor- 
otuth  manner. 
My  facilities  for  purchasing  materials  at  lowest  figures  and  for  eoonomleal  building  see  surpassed  by 
none  and  the  machines  are  offered  at  the  lowest  prices  at  which 
The  Best  Material,  put  up  In  the  Best  Manner,  can  be  Afforded. 
In  comparing  prices  Threshers  will  please  note  differences  In  material,  workmanstiJp  and  finish  and: 
bear  In  mind  that 
The  Best  is  the  Cheapest  in  the  end,  even  though  the  firsi  eost  is  greater.. 
Various  sixes  arc  made;— 24-ln.,  28-ln.,  32.in.,  and  Hd-ln.  Cylinder  Threshers  anO 4-horse,  S-horse,  10- 
horse  and  12-Horee  Powers.  ,  ,  ^  ^  ' 
Repairs  ere  for  sale  in  almost  every  county  In  the  wheat-growing  country,  at  wiv  M»t  price.  For 
Catalogues.  Prices.  Sc,,  Ao„  address  _ 
JAMES  BRAYLEY,  Buffalo,  N.  Y., 
or  44  Noutli  Canal  St.,  Clilcago,  III. 
SOLE  MAXCPACTCBERS. 
Porter  Blanchard’s  Sons, 
(Send  for  Circulars.]  CONCORD,  N,  H. 
Sample  churns  sent  to  towns  where  we  have  no 
AKsnts,  on  reuelpt  ol  26  per  cent,  less  than  our 
'ewil  price. 
testimonials  i 
^  -V— 
THE  ENORMOUS  WASTAGE  of  grain,  so 
able  wtlh  olhtr  ftvicf  of  Threshers,  can  be  bAVKlJ 
by  this  Improved  Machine,  $ugUi^U,  on  evtrv  )ob,  to 
more  tArti;  pay  €J^penit€M  of  ibresblng. 
FLAX,  TIMOTHY,  MILLET.  HUNGARIAN  and 
Uke  seeds,  arc  threshed,  separuted.  cleimed  and 
saved,  as  easily  and  perfectly  as  Wheat.  Oata,  Ky© 
or  Barley. 
AN  EXTRA  PRICE  It  usually  paid  for  grain  and 
seeds  cleaned  by  this  machine,  for  extra  cleanliness. 
IN  THE  WET  GRAIN  of  1875  these  were  substan¬ 
tially  the  ONLY  machines  that  could  run  with 
profit  or  economy,  doing  fast,  thorongb  and  perfect 
work,  when  othtrM  uturlv  /uUsd. 
All  OK  AIN.  TlME^and  MONEY  complL 
cations,  snob  as  *'  Endless  Aprons,  Radies. 
Beaiers,”  “  Pickers,”  etc.,  are  mtirciy  dufjnrwed 
T.S  ^  ..I _  _ _  ekaa  esuftol  faaUPB  BOltS. 
Beaiers.”  “  Pickers,”  etc.,  are  mttreiv  awpimteu 
'ivUh;  less  than  one-half  iho  usual  Gears,  BelU, 
Bozos  and  Journals)  easier  wsuaged;  more  dura¬ 
ble:  light  runmng;  no  cosily  repairs;  no  dust;  no 
“litterings'*  to  clean  up)  not  troubled  by  adverse 
winds,  rain  or  storms. 
ble:  light  runmng;  no  cosily  repairs;  no  dust;  no 
“litterings'*  to  clean  up)  not  troubled  by  adverse 
winds,  rain  or  storms. 
FARMERS  and  GRAIN  a« 
In  the  large  saving  made  by  u,  will  not  emnioy  in¬ 
ferior  and  waslerul  machines,  but  will  insist  on  this 
improved  'I'breshex  doing  tbclr  work. 
FOUR  SIZES  made  for C,  9,  lOund  12  Horee  Powers. 
Also  a  specialty  of  SepabaTOiU  designed  and  made 
EXPUXagLY  EOK  steam  POWER. 
TWO  BTYI.BS  or  horse  powers,  vU.:  our 
Unproved  “Triple  Gear,”  and  our  Sour  Swed, 
(W  oodbury  Style),  both  *’  Mounted  "  on  /i/ur  wheels. 
W  INTRRBSTKD  in  Threshing  or  Grain  Rising, 
y  to  our  nearest  Dealer,  or  writ©  to  ““/dr  inus- 
»d  Circular  (sent  free)  giving  full  particulars  of 
M,  Stylus.  Prices,  Terms,  etc. 
Nichols,  Shepard  &  Co., 
Battle  Creek,  Micb. 
The  American 
CIDER  mLL 
will  grind  more  Older  from  the  some  weight  of  apples 
than  any  other  mill  in  t  he  world.  Send  for  Circulars. 
ABBOTT,  BREW  Sc  t’O., 
Cleveland,  Ohio. 
(CIRCULAR.  ) 
Consumers  Importing  Tea  €©•»  I 
No.  8  Cburcli  Htreet.  r 
P.  O.  Box  6,509.  New  YorR  OI»y.  ) 
This  Is  a  comblssition  of  capitalists  to  supply  the 
consumers  of  Teas  throughout  the  United  States  on 
the  mutual  principle. 
We  have  experienced  agents  In  all  the  best  dis¬ 
tricts  of  China  and  Japan  to  select  Teas  especially 
for  our  trade. 
We  expect  every  oonsumer  of  Teas  to  render  us  ail 
the  assUiance  they  can  In  earrylng  out  our  enter¬ 
prise,  as  we  make  a  specialty  of  SUPPLYING  CON- 
SUMEfta  ONLY  (and  allow  no  nilddlemen  to  make 
any  profit  on  our  Importations),  wnioh  will  enable 
us  te  aapply  them  with  Teas  at  prices  lower  than 
have  ever  been  known,  and  of  tbvse  Unequalltle 
that  seldom  reach  the  Interior,  being  sold  only  to 
the  lar##  cities  and  among  the  very  wealthy. 
Hoping  th,e  consumer  will  take  an  Interest  inonr 
enterpmsc,  and  tend  at  once  for  a  circular  with  full 
explanatieos  of  how  to  proceed  to  obtain  our  goods, 
Most  respectfully  yours, 
€«s9«Biers  Importing  Tea  Co.) 
N«.  8  Church  Bt., 
P.  O.  B«si  5,509.  New  York  City. 
Entered,  aocording  to  -AciofC^ngr^s,  In  January, 
1874,  by  -bhe  0»i8nmere  Importing^Tea  Co.,  in  tn • 
Otfic^f  tbelfttrarlan  of  CongressTWashlngton,  D.C. 
ir  r  vw  vrf  Mn  i 
HRESHING 
I 
Aixxt. 
Ii  U  the  Original  and  Ouly  Reliable  lUIxed  Paint,  mixed  Ready  for  Uae. 
It  Is  the  moatDurubki,  the  Uaniuomut  and  most  economical  paint  made.  Send  for  sample  casd,  with 
itimonlals  from  owners  ol  the  finest  reshlencee  la  the  country.  For  sale  In  every  section  or  the  coontry. 
AVERILL  CHe.niCAL  PAINT  CO.,  3-2  Bsriing  Blip,  N.  Y.  City. 
SEND  FOR  CIRCULAR  of  Aerlcuitoiallmnle-  I  ^END  TO  James  bRAYLEY,BCT».to,  K.V..  for  Daeriptl.* 
mentsto  ABBOTT,  Brew  &  Co.,  Mfr'S.Clevelind.O.  |  ™  Pilct  Hit  of  Buffalo  f.tu  TLrsdior.  «oa  Howe 
I  ®  END  yoot  oitTM.  fi)r  tl>e‘*AgTlsnll»«l  E«iwinUt,’*4wotlytiv* 
TRY  THE  CORTLAND  PLATFORM  8PRIRD  WAOOH  ,  S  siiS  iUiutr*t*e,  BRADIXY  UF'O  O0„  9ynicas..N,  1. 
THE  BEST 
lACHINE 
ever  made  send  3  oent  stamp  to  M.  Harder,  Empire 
Agricultural  Wcrtoi,  Coblesklll,  N.Y..  for 
epilogue.  w«k  pdioB,  full  luformailon,  and  Judges 
lieport  of  NattonaJ)  Implement  Trial. 
GRBAT*  REDUCTION. 
TEAS  AND  COFFEES 
AT  WB0LB8ALE  PRICES. 
Increased.  Facllltlea  le  Club  OrganUere. 
lUeiid  for  New  Price  Lint. 
THE  BREAT  AMERICAN  TEA  CO. 
P.  O.  Box  6e’43.  f  i  Jk  83  Veasy  St.,  New  York 
