A  PAIE  OF  WITS 
Chesteefill,d  and  Voltaire,  born  in  the  Bame 
year  (1094),  were  warm  and  life-long  friends. 
Whatever  may  liuvo  been  the  eiTatio  French¬ 
man’s  vageries  and  miffs,  for  he  never  had  a 
friend  whom  he  did  not  at  some  time  abuse. 
Lord  Chesterfield,  was  too  much  of  a  gentleman 
to  tako  offence,  or  even  uotioo. 
On  a  certain  occasion  the  two  friends  were  in 
Company  at  u  grand  ball  in  Paris,  given  by  the 
king's  favorite.  Chosterllold  stood  by  a  marble 
p>illar,  gazing  upon  Ibo  brillant  assemblage  of 
ladies,  when  Voltaire  accosted  him : 
“  My  lord,  you  should  he  a  judge  in  such 
matters.  Now,  seriously,  do  you  not  think  our 
French  ladies  the  most  beautiful  you  over 
saw?” 
“  Upon  my  word,”  replied  Chesterfield,  with  a 
nod  and  a  smile,  “  I  am  not  a  judge  of  paints 
iugs." 
Not  long  afterwards  Voltaire  crossed  over  to 
England  and  was  present  one  evening  at  a  party 
given  by  an  Eiiglish  nobleman  in  London.  A 
lady  in  the  company,  sparkling  in  jewels,  and 
higldy  roughed,  was  particularly  attentive  to  the 
noted  Frenchman,  engrossing  most  of  Ins  dis¬ 
course.  Chesterfield,  observing,  came  up  and 
tapped  his  friend  on  the  shoulder. 
*’Be  wary,  mousiem’,  or  you  will  be  capti¬ 
vated.” 
“  No  fear,  my  lord,”  quickly  returned  Vol¬ 
taire.  “lam  not  to  be  captivated  by  an  English 
craft  sailing  under  French  colors I 
OF  THE 
IlAKTIfOUr).  CONJ,'.,  JCLY  1.  1S7C. 
A.SSETS. 
Heal  Estate  owndl  bv  the  Company . 9\n;i8  21 
Cash  on  hand  and  In  Uunk .  lsi.727  4.i 
Cashin  bandsof  AKents.orin  trunsKilssfoii.  7fi,421  0.H 
Loans  on  First  Mortgaso*  fleal  Estate . 2.1  ‘l,(i?7  50 
lii'ierrea  rremiums . .  .  . .  ;(7 
Accrued  Interest  . .  JKl.Bil!)  S2 
UtiHed  .mates  Govorniju-nt  Honda .  h71.570  00 
Staieand  Munleipul  Honda . .  nn.OM  00 
Uallroad  Stocks  and  Bomla . .  yi‘-,i80  OO 
Bonk  and  Insurance  Stocks .  5ti0,7ii4  00 
I  oarjs  on  pcnKuml  and  collateral  security.  lO.(XK)  00 
l\ital  assets., .  38 
l.l  AIIILITIKS. 
Reserve,  Four  per  cent.  Life  DeFinrtment.|;2.412.307  4« 
Reserve  for  re-lnaurunco,  Acclcent  Dept  .  J187.228  47 
Claims  unidjusted  and  not  due,  and  all 
other  Uablfitles . . .  180,242  00 
Total  llablUtles . ft'2,78.'S,837  93 
Surplus,  as  regards  pQllcy-holder8..S  1 , 1 39, 153  45 
Surplus  as  above,  on  four  and  one-half  per  cent,  re¬ 
serve,  N.  V.  standard,  81,389,390  19. 
JAS.  G.  B.IT'I  ERSON,  PresildeHt 
RODNEY  DENNIS,  Secretary. 
.JOHN  E.  MORRIS,  Asa’t  Secretary. 
New  York  Office,  207  Broadway. 
R.  M.  JOHNSOX,  Manaifer. 
I, 
WA.IIAI  AVdEA^TMEK,  EaiEIlOISE. 
Tom. — “  Hello,  boys !  Where  yer  going  ?” 
Boys,  on  old  nap  — “  Why,  w'e’re  going  ter  take  a  turn  in  the  Park,  with  the  rest  of  the 
upper-ten  !" 
The  American 
SPAEKS  AND  SPLINTEKS 
A  Gossipy  place — “  Tell  City,”  Indiana. 
WoEN  wagon  wheels  ought  to  be  re-tired. 
“  Belles,"  call  a  great  many  people  to  church. 
Many  a  man  worth  a  million  is  utterly  worth¬ 
less. 
A  POOB  place  for  a  hungry  pig — The  trough  of 
the  sea. 
J OK  bates  a  hyiwcrite.  It  shows 
Self-love  is  not  a  fault  of  Joe's. 
When  is  a  scheme  like  the  third  of  a  yard  ? 
When  it’s  a-foot. 
Pawnbboeebs  generally  prefer  customers  with¬ 
out  rodocining  quahties. 
Motheb  Eve  vvas  the  first  bellriuger.  She 
used  to  ring  the  chimes  for  Adam. 
Wh.vt  letter  would  make  every  flower  alike  ? 
W  would  make  all  flowers  wall  flowers. 
BANitEus  ought  to  prosper.  They  always  take 
so  much  interest  in  the  business,  you  know. 
Oh,  for  a  lodge  In  tlio  garden  of  cucumbers ! 
Oh,  for  an  iceberg-  or  two  at  control ! 
Oh,  for  a  vale  which  iit  midday  the  dew  cumbers ! 
Oh,  for  B  pleasure  trip  up  to  the  pole ! 
Many  a  young  man  would  like  to  be  Noptuue 
just  to  have  such  a  number  of  smacks  upon  his 
face. 
Why  should  it  he  easy  to  break  into  an  old 
man’s  house  ?  Because  his  gait  is  broken  and 
hi.s  locks  are  few. 
An  author  says  that  one  of  the  uses  of  adver¬ 
sity  is  to  bring  us  out.  This  is  true,  particularly 
at  the  knees  and  elbows. 
The  folloiving  epitaph  is  from  a  tombstone  in 
Indiana : 
Under  This  eOd  oUr  Babie  UEs. 
IT  neither  cities  nOR  holErs, 
it  lived  JUst  tWeNtY  7  dAya. 
uuD  cost  uB  ii!4U. 
Centbal  Pennsylvania  has  potato-bugs,  and 
as  the  worthy  husbandman  in  drab  wanders 
about  his  garden  he  remarks  feelingly  to  his 
wife,  “  Verily,  Maltha,  the  spirit  ahnostmoves 
me  to  eject  with  vehemence  sundry  of  the  quaint 
phrases  common  with  the  lost  ones  of  the 
world's  people." 
“Tommy,  my  son,  fetch  in  a  stick  of  wood.” 
“Ah!  my  dear  mother,”  responded  the  youth, 
“  the  grammatical  portion  of  yom-  education 
has  been  sadly  neglected.  You  should  have 
said “  Transport  from  that  recumbent  collec¬ 
tion  of  combustible  material  upon  the  thi-eshold 
of  this  edifice  one  of  the  curtailed  excrescences 
of  a  defunct  tree." 
All  the  papers  are  establishing  branch  offices 
at  the  Centennial.  The  SmithTille  Weekly  Ink- 
Slinger  having  announced  that  its  agent  would 
be  found  on  the  grounds  daily  to  receive  news 
and  Bubsci-iptioiis,  the  rival  paper  in  Smithville 
maliciously  exposes  the  fact  that  the  agent  in  j 
question  keeps  a  soda  water  stand  in  addition  to 
his  journahstic  duties. 
It  is  said  that  if  a  man  is  walking  for  health  j 
and  enjoyment,  four  miles  an  hour  is  the  best 
gait.  This  may  be  true  as  regards  health,  but 
for  enjoTOient  wo  remember  oue  night  when  it 
took  us  over  four  hours  to  walk  a  mile.  It  hap¬ 
pened,  however,  that  the  old  folks  had  gone  to 
camp-meeting,  and  she  had  the  night-key,  and 
as  far  as  health  was  concerned  we  didn’t  really 
care  if  it  took  all  night. — Ifdrxcich  Bulletin. 
will  grind  more  Cider  from  the  same  weight  of  apples 
than  any  other  mill  In  the  world.  Send  for  Circulars. 
ABBOTT,  BKEW  &  CO., 
Cleveland.  Ohio. 
END  TO  JAMES  BRAYLEY,  Buyviio,  N,  Y.,  for  P«*«rlpUve 
Price  Lilt  of  Buffalo  Fitu  Tbre&hen  aud  liorM  Powoii. 
KND  year  addreii  for  the  ** 
and  illuitratod.  BRAC 
'icnltural  Cconomlit/’  dMcripUvo 
Y  MF»G  CO„  Synicuie,  N,  Y. 
(CIliCULAU. 
Consumers  Importing  Tea  Co.,  >  - 
No.  8  Clsnrcli  Street,  r 
P.  O.  Box  5«509.  Now  York  City.  ) 
This  is  a  combination  of  capitalists  to  supply  the 
consumers  of  Teas  throughout  the  United  States  on 
the  mutual  principle. 
We  have  experienced  agents  In  all  the  best  dls- 
trictsof  China  and  Japan  to  select  Teas  especially 
for  our  trade. 
We  expect  every  consumer  ol  Teas  to  render  us  ad 
the  assistance  they  can  In  carrying  out  our  enter¬ 
prise,  as  we  make  a  specialty  of  SUPPLYING  CON¬ 
SUMERS  ONLY  (and  allow  no  uiiddleiaen  to  make 
any  profit  on  our  importations),  wnlch  will  enable 
us  to  supply  them  with  Teas  at  prices  lower  than 
have  ever  been  known,  and  of  those  fiuequalltle 
tlu-t  seldom  roach  the  interior,  being  sold  only  to 
the  large  cities  and  among  the  very  wealthy. 
Hoping  the  cuusumer  will  take  an  Interest  In  onr 
enterprise,  and  send  at  onoe  for  a  circular  with  full 
explanations  of  how  to  proceed  to  obtain  our  goods, 
we  remain. 
Most  respectfully  yours, 
Consumers  importing  Tea  Co«i 
No.  8  Church  8t., 
P.  O.  Box  5,509.  New  York  City. 
Entered,  according  to  Act  of  Congress,  In  January, 
1874,  by  the  Consumers  importing  Tea  Co.,  in  the 
Office  of  the  Librarian  of  Congress,  Washington,  D.C, 
Heiid  fur  Cutiiloguc. 
H  These  are  the  best 
and  most  economical 
goods ;  itupervious  to 
W  dampness,  heat  and 
‘-fl  cold.  Send  for  sam- 
I  pies  to  B.  E.  HALE 
’  Sc  00.1^66  and  68  Park 
H  Place,  Now  York. 
JANUARY  1,  1877 
if-ivt-e:  nxoiMTia; 
END  FOR  CIRCULAR  of  the  best  Paint  In 
the  world  to  RUBBER  PAINT  CO.,  Cleveland,  O. 
GR£AT  REDUCTION. 
TEAS  AND  COFFEES 
AT  WHOLESALE  PRICES. 
Increaaed  Fucllltlea  to  Club  Organizers. 
Send  for  New  Price  List. 
THE  eREAT  AMERICAN  TEA  CO. 
P.O.  Bo*  6643.  Si  &  83  Vesey  St.i  New  York 
Moore’S  Rdbal  New-Yokker.  —  with  ita  full 
corps  of  editors,  and  a  new  publisher  of  energy  and 
ability,  the  management  propose  to  celebrate  the 
quarter-centennial  of  the  pioneer  Rural  In  such  a 
manner  as  to  augment  Its  popularity  and  usefulness. 
For  a  first-class,  lively  paper,  containing  matter  of 
interest  for  all  classes,  lake  the  Rural  New-York¬ 
er,  and  du  so  at  once,  for  the  paper  never  was  beU 
ter,  and  Its  prospects  never  brighter.— F,  eepurt  {III.) 
Journal. 
ONE  DOLLAR! 
Agricultural  Centennial  News  a  Specialty 
Moore’s  Rubax  NEW-YOHKKR.-This  king  of  Ag¬ 
ricultural  papers  has  entered  upon  Its  twenty-sixth 
year,  under  the  most  favorable  auspices.  It  Is  the 
determination  of  Its  publishers  to  furnish  a  brighter 
and  better  paper  than  ever.  In  style,  type,  matter 
and  editorial  ability,  there  Is  no  paper  Of  its  kind 
that  at  all  compares  with  it.— Trempealeau  (Wit.) 
Republican. 
Address 
RURAL  PUBLISHING  CO., 
78  Duane  St.,  New  York 
t 
.  ■, 
