PATENT. 
H.W.JOHNS 
materials 
PR,1C£  LIST 
1,000  !*01.D  last  season 
WiniOlT  ONB  FAIMKK  OU  URJEtTIOIV. 
This  Is  th»  famoo*  Threshing  machine  that  has 
"awep*.  the  flcld”  and  created  such  a  revolntion  in 
the  trade,  hv  Its  MATCiiMces  Ghaiv-Saving  and 
Time-Saviso  principles. 
THOUGHT  SHE  KNEW 
the  Bleeping  coach  were 
The  passengerB  in 
just  dozing  off  when  something  howled  out  i  j 
“  Ow — wow — wow!” 
"  Great  dragons,  there’s  a  young  one  aboard !” 
growled  a  fat  man  from  his  upper  berth.  “  1 11 
bet  a  hundred  dollars  none  of  ub  can  get  a  wink 
of  sleep  to-uiglit.” 
“  Wow — wow !”  whined  the  child. 
There  he  goc*  again !”  growled  the  fat  man. 
“  I  never  travel  hut  what  I  run  across  pome  one’s 
howling  offspring.” 
“Who’s  that  talking?”  called  the  mother  of 
the  child  in  a  loud  voice. 
“  Me !’’  answered  the  fat  man. 
“  Why  didn’t  you  either  leave  that  child  at 
homo  or  stay  homo  yom'self  !” 
“Are  you  talking  to  me?”  demanded  the 
woman. 
“  Yes,  ma’am,  I  am  !  I  say  its  a  Bhame  to 
bring  a  sick  child  into  a  sleeping  car  to  disturb 
twenty  or  thirty  people.” 
“Are  you  a  father  ?”  she  asked. 
“  No,  I  hain’t.” 
“  Nor  a  mother  ?” 
“  No,  ma’am.” 
“  Well,  sir,”  she  said,  as  she  poked  her  head 
out  between  the  curUlns,  “  when  you’ve  been 
the  mother  of  eleven  ohlldi-on,  moved  forty-eight 
times,  lived  In  nine  different  States,  and  worn 
one  corset  right  along  for  seventeen  years  you’ll 
begin  to  think  you  know  3'our  business.  I  think 
I  know  mine  and  if  this  baby  want’s  to  howl  he’s 
going  to  do  it,  if  I  come  over  thei-e  and  kick  a 
ton  and  a  half  of  conceit  out  of  you,  ’ 
THE  ENOKMOtIH  WASTAGE  of  grain,  so  inevit- 
ahU  with  otMr  gtylfn  of  Tlu-esbers,  cttii  be  SAVED 
by  thU  Improved  Muchlno,  on  every  job,  to 
more  thn,x  pay  all  experuee  of  threshing. 
FLAX,  TIMOTHY,  MILLET.  HUNGARIAN  and 
like  seeds,  are  threshed,  separated,  cleaned  and 
saved,  as  easily  and  porfeotly  as  Wheat,  Outs,  Rye 
or  Barley, 
AN  EXTRA  PRICE  Is  usually  paid  for  grain  and 
seeds  cleaned  by  this  machine,  for  ozlra  cleanliness. 
IN  TUB  WET  GRAIN  Of  IST.'i  these  wore  substan¬ 
tially  the  ONLY  MACUINES  that  could  run  with 
proiit  or  uuouomy,  doing  fast,  thorongb  and  perfect 
work,  whenutberg  uUrrly  Jailed. 
All  GRAIN.  TIME  and  MONEY  wasting  complU 
cations,  such  •»  “  Endless  Aprons,’’  “  Raddles," 
"  BcatcrK,”  "  l*ickors,”  etc.,  axe  entirely  ditpengeU 
with:  loss  than  one-hnlf  the  usual  Gears,  Belts, 
Boxes  and  Journals:  eiislor  munnged:  more  dura¬ 
ble;  light  running;  no  costly  repairs;  no  dust;  no 
"litterings”  vi  airua  up;  iiot  tronbled  by  adverse 
winds,  rain  or  storms. 
FARMKlti!  and  GRAIN  RAISERS  who  are  po$Ud 
in  the  large  saving  made  by  It,  will  not  employ  in¬ 
ferior  and  wasteful  ninchlnes,  but  will  tn*m  on  this 
Improved  Thresher  doing  their  work. 
four  SIZES  made  for 6,  S,  lOand  12  Horse  Powers. 
Also  a  specialty  of  Separatokb  designed  and  made 
axPRKiMiLY  run  steam  power. 
SRS,  vU.:  our 
Hpur  Speed,” 
n  Jour  wheels. 
THE  NEARER  THE  BONE  THE  SWEETER  HIS  REVENGE. 
Thin  Party —Aha. \  You  did  laugh  at  me  last  winter  for  being  thin!  Who.s  got  the  laugh 
now,  with  the  thermometer  in  the  nineties? 
WEALTH  WITHOUT  ITS  ANXIETIES. 
The  nowslaiya  who  gather  about  in  tiie  after¬ 
noon  awaiting  the  publication  hour  of  the  Even¬ 
ing  p.apors  are  oitbor  fairly  rolling  in  wealth  or 
their  conversation  is  to  some  extent  imaginative. 
Said  one  of  them  to  another. 
“Billy,  dill  yer  buy  that  SSO  plaid  sunmier 
suit  I  seed  yer  iooliin'  at  in  a  winder  Saturday  ?” 
“No,  Bllukey,  1  didn’t  take  it  in.  Ther  wns 
only  one  watoh  pooket  in  U:e  trowsers  an’  a 
alius  carries  two  tickers,  one  ter  e'root  t’other 
Uy.” 
“  But  yer  ain’t  goin’  ter  wear  yer  army  britches 
all  summer,  be  yer,  'specially  when  yer  go 
dj’iveu  evoniu’s  ?” 
••No,  Blinkey,  my  dear,  I  ain’t,"  was  Billy’s 
grave  reply,  “  but  don’t  yer  worry  about  me,  It’s 
silk  uudercloz  as  preserves,  my  preoious  health. 
Silk’s  the  thing,  Blinkey.” 
GR£AT  REDUCTION. 
TEAS  AND  COFFEES 
AT  H'HOI.ESALE  PltlCES. 
Inereawed  FiicHlllcs  to  Club  Orgnnlaer*. 
Hend  for  New  Price  List, 
THE  BREAT  AMERICAN  TEA  CO. 
P.  O.  Box  6643.  8i  &  83  Vesey  St.i  New  York 
The  American 
improved  "  Triple  Gea 
iWoodbury  Stylo),  both 
IF  INTHRKSTEI)  In  Threshitig  or  Grain  Raising, 
apply  to  our  nearest  Uonler,  or  write  to  us  for  Illus¬ 
trated  Circular  ihcni  free)  giving  full  particulars  of 
Sixes,  Styles,  Prices,  Terms,  etc. 
Nichols,  Shepard  &  Co., 
Ilntlle  Creek,  illich. 
will  grind  more  Cider  from  the  same  wcigm  01  appi 
than  any  other  mill  In  the  world.  Send  for  Clrculai 
ABBOTT,  BItF.W  &•  CO., 
Cleveland,  Ohio 
1,1876 
CO.\SUi)lERS’  nilMUlTI.NG  TEA  Cl)., 
No.  8  Church  Street, 
P.  O.  Box  6500.  NEW  YORK  CITY. 
Thl»  I.  .  cdiiitin.tlon  of  eni.lt.lht*  U.  loiiply  tlie  con. 
Butitcn  of  Ten.  throogkoul  tliu  Unltod  Slut.,  on  llie 
mutuni  priDfl;.!..  ,  .  ii 
W'c  evpRct  »T«fy  coDBUTOPr  of  Twea  Iv  >«i»der  us  aii 
th«  aaSiiliuit*  ttov  cup  In  carrviujs  oul 
u  we  mU.  •  wsc'shv  of  6L'P(‘J.YlM>  CONSUMERS 
ONLY,  lusd  .How  no  liii.UllMIi.B  to  ninli.  *.y  pfofil  on 
our  ImeorUllora,)  wrUIfii  wlH  .n»1.l«  n.  lu  »upply  them 
wltbl'.uni  price*  taw*r  Ibsn  h»v«  ««cr  to»oii  known, 
and  of  lli.)M  floe  qtmiMl.*  that  taldum  tomIi  the  interior, 
being  wld  ools-  in  lata.  clUr*  nod  aitiong  th*  very 
■  •  ^  SgN  D  rOR  PRICE  LIST. 
THE  FAVOR  HE  ASKED. 
The  San  Antonio  (Toxas)  Herald  says;— A 
few  days  ago,  a  prisioncr,  with  a  face  on  him 
that  excited  much  remark,  on  account  of  the 
meauness  of  his  exprossiau,  was  brought  into 
the  district  court  to  bo  sentenced  to  Huntsville 
for  stealing  some  clothes  off  a  line.  As  he  was 
known  to  bo  a  very  slippery  character,  one  of 
our  haud-somest  and  most  vigilant  deputy  sheriffs 
took  a  seat  by  hla  aide.  After  awhile  the  pris¬ 
oner  leaned  over  and  wliiapored  to  the  oilieer : 
“  Won’t  you  do  mo  one  little  Idudness.”  The 
offlocr  promised  to  do  so,  with  one  of  tho  Wild¬ 
est  smiles  we  have  ever  soon  iu  a  court-house. 
Tho  prisotier  whispfjred : — “Then,  sit  a  little 
further  offi  I’d  ratlier  pay  a  hundred  dollws 
than  have  people  take  me  for  a  deputy  sheriff. 
wealthy. 
JANUARY  1,  1877 
SPARKS  AND  SPLINTERS 
Bad  farming— Baby  farming. 
Alway.s  in  debt — The  letter  B. 
Just  the  place  for  babies— Rockaway. 
Good  tune  for  an  old  smoker — Spittoon. 
A  MOVING  tale — ^That  of  a  bull  in  fly  time. 
Handy  for  a  double-scull  race— The  two-head' 
od  girl. 
An  Indian  occassionally  makes  an 
escape. 
Can  chiiopodistsbe  said  to  practice  the  heel¬ 
ing  art? 
The  grocer’s  motto— “  Learn  to  labor  and 
weigh  “  t.” 
Apt  to  make  children  ugly-tempei’od  Living 
on  a  cross  sti’eot. 
“  I  ivLsii  I  was  a  pudding,  mamma.”  “  Why  ?” 
“  ’  Cause  I  should  have  a  lot  of  sugar  put  into 
me.” 
There  may  be  recipes  to  cure  the  potato  bug, 
but  (here  is  nothing  so  .-^urc  as  to  blindfold  him 
and  back  lum  under  a  pile  driver. 
As  soon  as  the  novelty  wears  off,  sentontions- 
Iv  observed  Mr.  Blogcs,  a  man  never  wakes  up  a 
SEND  TO  JAME.H  BKAYLEy,  Bf*»aLO,  N.  Y..  for  Dttoriplive 
Prlca  Lilt  .»f  llulfalo  lilt*  Thr»«b«ra  and  Hot*.  Power*. 
an’ow 
BOLE  MANCTACTDBEIU), 
Porter  Blanchard's  Sons, 
[Send  for  Circulars.]  CONCORD,  N.  H. 
Sample  chums  sent  to  towns  where  we  have  no 
Agents,  on  receipt  of  25  per  cent,  less  than  our 
retail  price.  _ _ _ 
TMTHE  CORTLAND  PLATFORM  SPRING  WACON. 
Agricultural  Centennial  News  a  Specialty 
rtoultoral  Ecooomtat,'’  d** 
;Y  MF’O  CO..  Syr»co»«, 
,AU  of  tbo  Paint  In 
PAINT  CO..  Cleveland,  O. 
OENB  FOB  GlliCllJ- 
the  world  to  RUBBKK 
MonuK’S  RCUAL  NEW-VOItKKJl  contail 
Quarto  Pages  weekiy.  finely  and  profusel 
ffind  neatly  prlntld.  Only J2  US  per  ye. 
clubs  of  ten  or  more,  postage  Pam- 
ducement*’  to  Club  Agents.  Specimens, 
Lists,  &c..  sent  free. 
RURAL  PUBLISHING  CO., 
78  Duane  St.,  New  York 
r-  'gaBBBWI 
