MOORE’S  RURAL  fJEW-YORKER 
THE  SALARIES  OF  GOVERNORS, 
hand  whcrp  Bplrltusil  prostration  essays  l>o  ac- 
Knowiodge  However  devotional  the  chor- 
act,er  of  our  mind,  lioweverwe  may  make  theliest 
Intentions  to  obsen'e  n  lively  tallli  In  Ood's  Holy 
Word,"  not  to  let  It  sink  Into  mere  liobdomadary 
Ictter-worRlilp,  clogged  by  the  constant  round  of 
repetition,  yet,  should  hard-backed  Boats  beset 
ns,  sliould  It  unfortunately  chance  that  a  preach¬ 
er’s  voice  Is  droning  or  monotonous,  these  will, 
spite  of  an  earnest  endeavor  to  tix  the  attention, 
more  or  less  affect  our  thoughts,  and  otherwise 
dispose  of  them.  Even  the  dicker  of  an  elusive 
Hunheam,  or  a  deciding  tugltivc  moto,  will  have 
morn  induence  la  unsettling  the  mind  of  a  would- 
be  Conscientious  listener  than  any  moral  truth 
t  hat  Is  being  ixnircd  out  liCforc  him,  and  to  which 
ho  would  fain  persuade  hlmsolf  to  attend. 
Among  the  lower  cluases,  how  very  often  It  Is 
to  be  remarked  that  physical  comforts  arc  more 
effectual  In  softening  tlielr  character  than  the 
wisest  words  of  the  most  Judlclou-sly-Rolpcted 
tracts.  What,  say  they,  Is  the  use  of  trying  to 
cure  our  souls,  to  ask  us  If  we  are  tJ'ue  Christians, 
wlnui  our  children  arc  stan'lng  and  w’O  ourselves 
In  cold  and  nakedness?  Here  crcalore  comforts 
will  do  more  for  ourselves  and  for  them  t  han  any 
bare  words  or  a  holding  up  or  exemplary  lives. 
Among  the  women,  too,  tnore  particularly,  a  brave 
buHal  and  a  worthy  luncral  Is  app.arontly  more  a 
matter  of  concern  than  even  the  loss  they  have 
sustained.  All  the  coinfortliig  assurances  with 
which  Ivlnd  neighbors  ply  them  fall  to  croat<5  half 
as  much  personal  satisfaction  as  the  fact  of  their 
dead  having  a  V  decent”  Interment. 
(*f  all  the  physical  coudlUons  most  conducive 
to  a  rough  bui  ready  estimate  or  the  character  or 
any  new  aeuiiulnlancc,  or  to  give  you  an  appre¬ 
ciable  undei-standlng  of  the  neighbor  besides 
whom  you  chuueo  to  take  a  scat,  and  which  is  as 
(pilek  a  processor  discovering  the  “Inner  man"  us 
any  r  know,  is  most  ccrt.alnly  a  dinner.  A  good 
dinner  Is  a  very  safe  crltcilon  by  which  to  form 
un  opijifon  of  another ;  and,  let  me  add,  a  bad  one 
will  do  etjually  as  well.  What,ever  there  la  of 
good  In  a  man— wllor  humor,  cousldemtlou  or 
want  or  consideration,  his  pet  foibles  or  bis  jieeu- 
llar  iimbltlons,  will  all  miiulTest  themselves  and 
creep  out  bit  by  bit  hen*  and  there,  and  proclaim 
the  man  despite  himself,  though,  to  be  sure,  you 
may  be  excluded  from  a  certain  share  of  unequa¬ 
ble  temper  and  such  minor  fallings  as  are  more 
specially  reserved  for  home  u.se,  or  rather  home 
buse. 
Of  course  you  do,  for  as  you  look  the  prlma  donna 
steps  gracefully  forth  and  w.arhles  a  song  to  the 
sUirs.  You  envy  her  plclurescinc  suiTOuudlngs 
ami  imagine  that  she  stepped  through  the  case¬ 
ment  out  or  a  dainty  boudoir,  xotabit  of  it. 
Wltli  Uembllng  limbs  sho  scales  a  shaky  Ladder, 
treading  on  her  dross  at  every  slej)  and  jnentally 
blessing  the  carpenter.  Ilia-  maid  holds  her  train 
and  the  stage  manager  and  one  of  the  chorus 
guide  her  unccrUilu  footsteps.  Everything  Is  dark 
and  gloomy  heforc  her  eyes.  In  a  moinonl  she 
sU'ps  out  upon  the  halcony  .and  faces  the  applaud¬ 
ing  audience  with  an  nngcUc  smile  upon  her 
countenance,  while  she  wonders  If  the  props  are 
perfectly  secure  and  whether  the  whole  thing 
w  ill  corao  down  and  crlpplo  her  for  life.  Then  she 
sings  her  song  and  steps  out  upon  the  Utile  pLat- 
form  and  backH  down  Into  the  .arms  of  hermother, 
who  M'raps  u  shavvl  uround  her  shouldetv;,  while 
the  maid  again  takes  up  the  train  and  the  three 
run  Into  tho  dressing-room  to  get  out  of  the  way 
Of  the  draugliiH. 
Another  thing  the  audience  dote  on  Is  a  chorus 
songwlfhout  accompaniment— sortof  Impromptu, 
you  know.  Put  they  .should  see  the  preitarallons 
made  for  the  Impromptu.  The  boat  Is  alxmt  leav¬ 
ing  the  wharf  and  the  sailors  stand  round  to  sing 
a  parting  song.  The  leader,  who  Is  generally  an 
excitable  (lerman,  gets  them  togetlier,  and  the 
audience  wait  in  pleasant  exijcctid  ion.  He  counts 
ono,  two,  three!,  and  gives  the  pUclt.  “  Xlotn  (»ott. ! 
a  tone  below  1"  and  ho  nishes  away  wltli  his  lin¬ 
gers  In  ills  ears,  while  tho  men  sing  on  .as  lustily 
as  though  they  waire  on  the  right  t  rack,  and  the 
audience  says,  “How  sweet !" 
Ju“Tho  Star  of  the  >;orlh,’’ when  Cattciliia 
goes  to  tho  w.ars,  she  gels  on  board  a  hoat  fuid 
Balls  away.  It  looks  beautiful  from  tbe  front, 
whCR*  CVcrylliJug  seems  so  real. .  All  there  Is  llko 
a  boat  Is  a  painted  side.  She  »U.q>s  upon  a  plat¬ 
form  on  rollers  and  Is  pulled  along  by  a  couple  of 
stahvarl  sccue-Bliltlcrs  standing  In  tho  wing. 
Sometimes  the  lollcns  want  idoaslog  and  stick 
so  that  no  pulling  will  budge  tbem ;  then  tbe 
singer,  if  she  has  prca-nco  of  mln<I,  sl  ops  upon  i  ho 
stage  and  wrlggle.s  out  with  asllltlcol  the  moilon 
of  walking  as  possible,  tme  night,  yvhen  Hiss 
Kellogg  was  playing  “Somnainbula,"  as  she  wi.s 
crossing  the  bridge  the  jjlauks  broae,  not  la  the 
usual  W'ay,  but  really,  and  left  the  gentleman 
who  was  leading  her  along  on  the  other  side 
standing  lu  bold  relief  before  tbe  audience— dress 
coat,  crush  hat  and  all.  Kortunutcly  no  harm 
came  of  fhe  accident. 
Ono  night,  Mr.  Lawrence  Harret.tand  Miss  .Marie 
Gordon  W(.*rc  playlmr  a  part  on  top  of  a  tower 
some  tw'enty  feel  above  the  .stage,  and  while  they 
were  up  there,  something  cr.af  kefl  and  t  he  whole 
thing  swaged  to  and  fro  like  a  ship  at sc.a.  The 
props  had  not  been  matle  lli  in  and,  had  llic  actors 
not  luckll.v  got  down  In  Tlmv,  they  w'ould  have 
been  killed,  or  w'orso.  I  sliall  not  repeat  what 
Mr.  ikiiTctt  said  to  the  stage  carpenter. 
New  York  pays  to  its  Governor  an  annual  sal¬ 
ary  of  f 10,000,  which  Is  the  lUghest  paid  In  tho 
irnlou.  Louisiana  pays  |s,ooo,  California  $7,000, 
Nevada  $c,f»oo.  Eight  states— Kentucky,  Massa- 
chusetis,  Missouri,  North  Carolina,  Pennsj-Ivanla, 
Texas,  Virginia  and  Wisconsin— paj’  $5,000 ;  Mary¬ 
land  $-1,500.  Three  States— -Mabama.  Georgia  and 
Oblo— $4,000.  ArkansiiB,  South  Carolina  and  Flor¬ 
ida  pay  each  $3,500.  Kansas,  Indiana,  Minnesota, 
MlsslBsIppl,  New'  Jersey  and  Tennessee  pay  each 
$a,oon.  Illinois,  Towa  and  Maine  pay  each  $2,5O0. 
tVest,  N  lrglnla  $2,700.  Connecticut  $2,000,  Oregon 
$1  ,.'>00,  Delaware.  Si ,300,  and  Michigan,  Nebraska, 
New'  llainpablre,  Rhode  island  and  Vennont  pay 
their  Governors  respectively  a  salary  of  Just  $l  ,000. 
THE  OLD  PASTOR’S  DISMISSAL 
“  Wk  nr-cd  a  youngor  m.'tn  to  ntir  the  people 
And  load  them  to  Uie  fold,” 
Tbe  denconp  Bald :  “  tVe  ask  your  resignation, 
Itecnuee  you're  gro-^n  so  old.” 
The  pastor  bid  the  deacons  out  in  Bilence, 
And  tenderly  the  gloom 
Of  twilight  hid  him  ami  his  bitter  anguish 
Within  the  lonely  room. 
Above  the  violet  hills  the  sunlight’s  glory 
Hung  like  a  crown  of  gold, 
And  from  the  great  <hnrch  spire  tlio  bell's  sweet  an¬ 
them 
Adown  the  stillness  rolled 
Assembled  were  the  people  for  God’s  worship ; 
But  in  his  study-chair 
The  pastor  sat  imheeding,  wliile  the  south  wind 
Caressed  his  snow-white  hair. 
RECENT  LITERATURE, 
A  BUiUe  lay  on  his  lips.  His  was  the  secret 
Of  sorrow’s  glad  Burcense ; 
I'f'on  Ills  forehead  shone  the  benediction 
Of  everlasting  peace. 
llnyiloii’H  Lite,  nn<l  Table  Talk. 
edited  by  it.  11.  SronoAun.  Kans-Sonci  Heriee. 
[ l2mo.— cloth ;  itp.  Sll.  Price,  $1.50.]  New  York: 
Bcrihner.  Armstrong  A  Co. 
The  success  of  the  “  Rrlc-a-Brac’’  Series  lia.s.  it 
seems,  jijsllBcd  the  publlslicra  in  Issuing  these 
volumes,  which  differ  from  l.belr  prototypes  only 
In  degree.  Mr.  BroonAKD  has  displayed  bis  usual 
good  Judgment  In  s<?lucLlon,  but  the  reader  wlm 
tukoH  up  tlie  life  of  flAynoN  In  a  careful  spirit  and 
dlllgontly  follows  Its  buggestlnns,  will  shortly  bo 
plunged  into  a  sea  of  art  matters  and  gain  an  Idea 
of  the  most  interesting  period  of  British  art  which, 
w  lillc  giving  pleasure,  will  certainly  not  be  gained 
saus-soucl. 
IlAYDON  was  an  Iconoclast  and  broke  Idols  with 
true  English  fei'vor  and  completeness.  To  him 
more  than  to  any  one  Is  the  BrHlsb  nation  In¬ 
debted  for  tho  Elgin  marbles,  lie  perceived Uielr 
excellcuee  and  muluialnod  his  views  against  the 
combined  Royal  .tcadeiny,  with  Mr.  Pavnk  Ksioht 
thrown  lu  as  a  sort  of  compensating  balance.  His 
career  was  one  long  etrugglc,  mainly  because  oi 
his  own  fracUousness,  and  while  personally  he 
was  severely  treated,  his  iniliience  on  the  Acade¬ 
my  ahd  art  generally  in  Britain  wa-s  most  salu- 
Ury. 
As  an  Instance  Of  hla  tremendous  energy.  It  may 
be  monlloncd  that  Hathon  bad  chosen  subjects 
and  contemplated  comimslng  and  painting  as 
pictures.  In  view  of  the  fact  that  ho  was  pains¬ 
taking  to  a  most  minute  degree  and  That  be  lived 
to  Onlsh  but  nine  or  ten,  may  give  an  idea  of  tho 
po-sslbliuies  he  contemplated.  HIh  Ilrst  picture, 
“  lientalus,”  w'as  painted  in  and  outseveral  times, 
and  ErsKu  found  fault  with  It  on  the  ground  that 
it  "looked  too  much  like  life."  Soon  after  he  saw 
the  Elgin  marbles.  "TUoflrKt.  thing  I  fixed  my 
eyes  on,”  he  writes,  “  was  the  wrist  of  a  flgure  In 
ono  of  the  female  groups,  In  which  was  visible  the 
radius  and  ibo  ulna.  I  was  astonished,  for  i  had 
never  seen  them  hlntod  at  lu  any  fomalo  wrist  at 
the  antl<iiie.  I  darted  ray  eye  lo  the  elbow  and 
saw  tbe  outer  condyle  visibly  affoctlng  the  shape, 
as  in  imtuiT.  I  saw  that  the.  arm  wu»  in  repose 
and  tho  soft  parts  In  relaxation,  as  In  nature.  My 
bean  boat  1  If  J  had  soon  nothing  else  1  bad  scon 
enough  to  keep  me  to  nature  for  the  rest  of  my 
life.”  This  decided  him  and  was  the  turning  point 
lu  Ills  ciin'cr. 
The  volume  under  notice  Is  divided  Into  tliree 
parts- T.lfe,  Letters  and  Table  Talk.  The  lettc^rs 
ai'e  sprlghtiy  and  give  evldchco  that  he  was  quite 
as  skillful  and  much  more  sensational  wlUi  the 
pen  than  Uic  brush.  i>ome  or  his  ob.sorvatlo^is  are 
piquant  to  a  degree,  as  "  Ecseu  said  to  me  once 
that  people  generaBy  went  to  church  lu  propor¬ 
tion  to  their  profligacy.  I  bad  It  on  tho  Up  of  my 
tongue  to  toll  him  that  1  wondereil  ho  did  hot  go 
every  day.” 
"Dne  of  the  greatest  annoyances  In  life  Is  the 
rernarlis  of  common  minds  when  crlUclslng  great 
works.  Snell  people  always  miss  lu  great  works 
the  very  things  their  minds  would  not  have  left 
out.  They  never  think  it  possible  for  a  man  of 
g«!ulua  to  have  left  them  out  hi/  chohr.  Oh,  no ! 
Tlu:y  Imagine  such  things  never  occurred  lo  his 
conception,  and  thus  they  chuckle  over  illusive 
Unperieotlons  with  a  self-congratulatory  air  of 
conscious  superiority.” 
One  bit  of  advice  w'oiUd  have  saved  him  a 
deal  of  tivtuble  bad  ho  had  the  wit  to  take  his  own 
medlclue.  It  says “  Never  disregard  what  your 
enemies  say.  They  may  be  severe ;  they  may  be 
prejudiced ;  they  may  be  determined  to  see  only 
In  one  direction;  but  situ  In  that  direction  they 
see  clcai-ly.  They  do  not  speak  oU  the  truth,  but 
t  hey  generally  speak  t  he  truUi  from  one  point  of 
view ;  so  fur  as  that  goes,  attend  to  them.” 
The  anecdotes  related  of  various  celebrities  are 
lu  many  Instances  capital.  Uriel,  tho  book  Is  ex¬ 
ceedingly  readable  and  typographically  sustains 
the  reputation  of  the  house  that  issues  It. 
•'  Tlic  ways  of  Providence  arc  most  mysterious,” 
The  ilcacouH  icravftly  said. 
As  with  wondering^  eyes  tho  people  crowded 
Alxiut  their  pastor-  dead  ! 
"We loved  liiin  1”  wrote  tho  people  on  the  eoflin, 
In  words  of  sUIuiux  trold; 
And  ’hove  the  broken  lienrt  they  sot  a  statue 
Of  marble  w  hite  and  cold. 
Tho  end  ?  Ah,  no — the  undiscovered  country 
Somewhere  in  the  brig'htne.'w  lies ; 
Thouirh  only  stars  may  be  discerned 
By  tuan’s  shorteighted  eyes. 
[Elisabeth  CumnUwjs, 
BY  MRS.  H.VTTIE  F.  BEI.t, 
“Rkv. -  received  twenty-live  hundred  dol¬ 
lars  from  his  congregation  the  other  day,  to  re¬ 
mind  him  he  was  fifty  years  old.”  Did  ho  7  That 
was  a  very  happy  reminder,  I  should  Judge.  l 
wonder  who,  among  us  all,  would  refuse  to  re¬ 
ceive  such  rnnluders,  as  year  after  year  bears 
away  our  freshness  and  youth  and  gives  old 
Rather  Time  rciicwcd  license  to  scamper  helter- 
skelter  over  our  face«,  Icitt'lng  his  uugi*accful  foot¬ 
prints  at  cverj'  corner  and  scrawling  his  crooked 
autograph  In  Indelible  dls1inctne.ss  In  horizontal 
furrows  upon  evei-j’  brow.  Twenty-five  hundred 
dOlParsI  rm  sure  that's  more  than  a  dollar  for 
every  wrlnlcle  that  foriunato  fifty-year-old  divine 
possesses  or  could  ever  count  on  his  benign  face 
with  the  aid  of  a  mlcroscopo.  We  all  have  such  a 
fiircfifl  dread  of  growing  old,  w  c  are  not  very  apt 
to  relish  anything  that  sugge.sis  the  fact  to  us, 
however  remotely,  ari<l  wc  try  w  conceal,  as  much 
as  possible,  the  slightest  api't-aranco  that  would 
hint  to  any  one  the  bare  possibility  that  old  age 
16  creeping  ou  and  we  uro  leaving  our  youth  be¬ 
hind  us.  lJutoh!  who  could  frown  upon  such  a 
tltnoly  reminder  as  this  l  Would  you  ?  I'm  posi¬ 
tive  I  wouldn't  II I  shoidd  ever  be  so  old.  I  would¬ 
n’t  object  to  one  even  noiv ;  but  I’m  not  a  minis¬ 
ter  nor  even  a  minister’s  wdre,  {though  1  am slstcr- 
In-Iaw  to  a  couple  of  the  profe-sslon,)  so  I  do  not 
expect  my  down-hill  Journey  to  be  smoothed  by 
any  such  startling  event;  but  what  a  blessed 
tbldg  It  would  be  if  Bverj'  pastor  had  so  apprecia¬ 
tive  a  people!  Why  don't  every  church  remind 
its  pastor  helsflfly  years  old  In  this  pleasant 
way  Or  at  thirty,  or  forty,  I  presume  the  re¬ 
minder  would  not  come  amiss.  Not  that  every 
church  could  give  twcnly-llvo  hundred  dollars, 
but  even  a  small  amount  would  gladden  the  heart 
and  cheer  the  soul  of  some  faithful  pastor  and 
give  him  new  courage  and  Inspiration  lor  a  year 
to  come.  .AJaa!  hoiv  many  prefer  rather  to  remind 
their  minister  he  is  growing  old  by  keeping  him 
upon  80  meager  a  salary  that  want  stares  him  in 
tho  lace  and  reflects  Ra  own  image  thereon,  and 
the  poor  man  has  only  to  look  Into  the  mirror 
Avhen  he  combs  bis  thin  locks,  to  behold  a  very 
forcible  romluder  that  he  is  growing  old.  They 
perhaps  give  him  a  bread-and-butter  donation, 
where  they  carry  Ihelr  own  Hujjper  and  eat  it  all 
up  before  they  go  away,  leaving  a  half  bushel  of 
chicken  bones  and  a  few  unleavened  biscuit,  and 
they  nod  their  wise  heads  and  say,  “I  don’t  see 
but  that  he  ought  lo  got  along,  now.”  Get  along  ? 
Yes,  he  does  get  along.  He  gets  a  long  account 
drawn  up  with  the  doctor,  for  sour  biscuit  can’t 
be  traded  off  for  flannel  and  chicken  pie  won't 
buy  cblldren'.s  shoes.  And  then,  after  tolling  and 
wearing  himself  our  uneompUtlnlngly  for  such  an 
unthankful,  unappreciative  people,  he  some  day 
receives  another  gentle  reminder  that  he  is  grow¬ 
ing  old.  They  “  Want  a  smarter,  younger  man, 
some  one  who  will  keep  up  tvfth  the  tinies.”  as 
If  any  man  could  keep  up  with  the  Gmes  or  keep 
up  at  all,  under  such  a  pinching  and  grinding  pro¬ 
cess  and  such  a  desperate  struggle  for  life !  But 
I'm  glad  there  Is  at  least  one  church  In  the  land 
who  appreciates  It.a  pastor  and  who  will  not  groan 
for  the  next  halt  century  because  of  this  extra 
“  Uft”  In  thus  happily  reminding  him  of  his  liftleth 
birthday. 
Heaven  bless  tliat  people— 1  was  going  to  say. 
Heaven  bless  that  pastor.  But  he  Is  blessed  In 
having  such  a  people,  so  1  will  only  add.  Heaven 
bless  us  all  and  give  us  grace  to  appreciate  our 
bles.siug3  before  they  brighten  lu  a  last,  long  flight. 
LENGTH  OF  MODERN  CAMPAIGNS, 
The  great  social  feature  of  the  present  daj'  is 
“pace;”  everj  tblng  goes  ahc.id  and  armies  must 
conform  to  this  rapid  Older  of  things.  Accord¬ 
ingly,  mllltajy  oiieratlous  and  |•e8Ultb  which  used 
to  occupy  years  are  now  compressed  Into  months. 
It  might  almost  be  said  weeks,  'iho  war  of  1859 
was  declared  by  Austila  on  April  26;  (ho  flrot 
action,  Slontehelio,  whs  fought. on  May  lo,  and  the 
war  llnlshcd  at  Bolfcrino  on  July  24.  in  isoo  t  he 
ITusslans  vlitually  declared  war  by  crossing  the 
Ausirl.in  fi'ontier  on  June  2.1,  and  In  seven  weeks 
t  he  latter  imwcr  was  forced  to  come  to  terms  at 
tho  very  gales  of  her  oapiuvl.  Prussia  received 
the  LTonch  ileclaratlon  of  w’ar  on  July  19, 1870. 
On  Sept.  2  Erancc's  last  army  In  the  Held  was  de- 
si  royed  til  Sudan,  and  the  last  shots  were  Bred  on 
Feb.  2, 1871. 
Here,  then,  wo  have  at  once  an  Immen-se  saving 
of  life,  'i’ho  long  delays,  wldcli  meant  for  the  sol¬ 
dier  exposure  to  llie  weather  and  to  sickness ; 
tho  defective  communlcatloms,  entailing  Insuillc- 
Icni  ioo(I;1he  slowly  dragging  campaign,  with 
all  its  privations  and  hardships- all  these  ferule 
sources  of  disease  and  dealli  have  vanished,  or 
are  vanlslilng.  1 1  la  true  that  ilie  French  soldiers 
both  In  and  out  of  MeUt  sufforcul  teriibly  from 
wemt  ol  proper  food  and  supplies;  but  It  must  be 
remembered  that  their  admlhlsuntlou  wans  ex¬ 
cept  lonally  bad  and  tho  very  magnitude  of  their 
(lefei:ts  will  prevent  a  repettUon  of  them.  Let  u.s, 
for  comparison,  take  one  or  two  Instances  from 
the  wars  of  the  fli'St  Napoleon.  Here  is  the  state 
ol  his  army  dtu  lug  the  Invasion  of  Itussla  In  1812, 
not  alter  but  before  mcellng  tbe  enemy  otherwise 
than  In  small  sklmilshcs: 
"From  the  want  of  magazines  and  the  hnpossl- 
blllty  of  conveying  an  adequate  supply  of  jirovls- 
lons  for  so  immense  a  host,  disorders  of  every  kind 
had  fK'cnmufatcd  lu  a  fi'lghttul  manner  on  the 
flanks  and  rear  of  the  army.  Neither  bread  nor 
spirits  could  be  bad;  the  flesh  of  over-driven  ani¬ 
mals  iiud  bad  water  consUluteHl  the  sole  subsist¬ 
ence  of  the  soldiers,  •  ■*  «  amj  before  a  great 
part  of  ihe  army  had  ever  seen  the  enemy.  It  had 
undergone  a  loss  greater  than  might  have  been 
expected  trom  t  he  most  bloody  campaign.  When 
the  steagglcrs  and  sick  were  added  to  the  killed 
and  wounded,  the  toLal  reached  ico.ooo.” 
Again,  Jlasscna  enliiTcd  Portugal  bi  October, 
1810 ;  spent  weeks  and  weeks  lu  futlk*  examina¬ 
tion  ol  the  lines  of  Torres  Vodras;  and  re-crossed 
Into  Spain  on  April  3,  1811,  “having  lost  30,000 
men  by  want,  elcknesa  and  the  sword,”  As  the 
only  action  ol  any  importance  that  occurred  dur¬ 
ing  the  retreat  was  lhal  of  Biirrosa,  at  which  the 
French  lo.ss  w.as  under  i  JiDO,  the  reader  can  esti¬ 
mate'  for  himself  what  proport  ion  of  the  total  loss 
was  due  to  “  want  and  sickness."  These  arc  but 
two  Instances  out  of  many  that  might  be  quoted, 
but  enough,  such  protracted  neglect  ond  suffer¬ 
ing  would  be  lmpos.slblc  in  these  days,  for  the 
simple  reason— If  for  no  other- that  the  soldier  is 
now  much  too  e.xp0ttSlve  an  art  icle  to  be  squan¬ 
dered  In  such  a  wholesale  manner. 
TEACHING  A  SMART  DRUMMER  THE  GOOD 
OLD  ENGLISH  LANGUAGE. 
Ah  a  newly  engaged  commercial  traveler  was 
about  starting  on  a  commercial  trip  from  his 
place  In  Chicago,  the  other  day,  he  suddenly  turn¬ 
ed  to  his  employer,  .a  grave  old  merchant,  and  in¬ 
quired  : 
“  1  say,  boss,  what  shall  1  do  'S’hen  1  get  out  of 
soap?” 
"Soap?”  said  the  old  man,  ‘Mvhy,  save  your 
samples  and  you  won't  get  out.” 
“  But  I  menu  what  shall  1  do  when  1  got  out  of 
grc.aso  ?”  conl.imied  t.he,  young  man. 
“  Greaso  —  grease  7”  pondered  the  old  man, 
“why, you  don’t  need  «iiy  grease;  you  arc  not 
working  for  a  lubdcatlng  estab — ” 
“  Gh,  but  you  don’t  nniIorH(.aJid  me,”  chimed  In 
the  youthful  employee,  ivallicr  embarrassed.  “I 
mean,  what  shall  I  do  ir  J  run  out  of  spoiiUulL\— 
stamps— Wealth  ?" 
“  Spondullx  —  stamps  —  wealth  ?”  echoed  1  ho 
my  stilled  mcrehant,  looking  at  ihe  young  lellow 
over  his  glasse.H,  to  see  if  he  had  gone  crazy. 
“Y'es,  currency— greenbacks,”  exclaimed  the 
drummer,  “cash  money,  you  know  ?” 
A  light  seemed  to  dawn  on  the  old  geutieman's 
mlud  at  this  moment,  for  gazlngupon  the  creature 
before  him  Willi  a  look  of  eonlompt  and  pity,  he 
broke  forth : 
“  Young  man.  what  are  you  giving  us  ?  I  rather 
guess  you  needn't  go  out,  lor  1  don't  believe  your 
class  of  customers  could  get  ttloug  very  well  with 
you— they  all  spun k  English.  Pull  down  your  vest, 
step  up  to  the  ctushlcr's  di'sk  and  get  your  sugar. 
Now  cheese  it,  cully,  you're  boimceil.” 
And  that  Is  the  way  tho  high-toned  kid  got 
bounced— all  through  the  pernicious  habit  of 
slinging  slmg.—Cinciiaiati  Enquirer. 
- -  4--*-.*-  - - 
RECIPE  FOR  A  “PATHETIC”  POEM. 
The  following  reci])o  for  a  “pathetic  marine 
poem”  appears  In  anew  English  hook:— “Take 
one  midnight  storm  and  one  flsherinaii's  fomlly, 
which.  If  the  poem  Is  to  be  a  real  success,  should 
be  as  laige  and  as  hungry  as  possible,  and 
must  contain  at  least  one  limocont  infant.  Iflace 
this  lasu,  in  a  craule,  with  tbe  mother  singing  over 
It,  being  careful  that  tho  babe  be  dreaming  of 
angels,  or  clso  smiling  sweetly,  stir  tbe  father 
well  np  tmill  he  dlsajipcars.  Then  get  ready  Im¬ 
mediately  a  (luantlty  of  ci  uel,  crawling  foam,  in 
which  servo  up  tlio  father,  directly  on  his  reap- 
poavance,  Avhich  Is  sure  to  take  place  in  a  hour  or 
two.  In  the  dull,  rod  mo  riling.  This  done,  a  charm¬ 
ing  saline  effervescence  will  take  place  among  the 
remainder  of  the  Mndly.  Pile  up  the  agony  to 
suit  the  palate,  and  the  poem  will  be  rca<ly  lor 
perusal.'’ 
BOORS  RECEIVED 
From  John  U.  PorrKR  &.  Co.,  Philadolphla,  Pa.: 
The  Fuiher’s  Story  of  Charlie  Ross,  with  por¬ 
traits,  lac-slmile  letters  from  the  abductoi'S, 
Ac.,  &o.,  liy  Christian  K.  Ross.  [Cloth— 
pp.-LH.] 
J.  M.  Stoi)i»akt  a  Co.,  Philadelphia,  Pa. : 
Our  Behavior.  A  Manual  of  Etiquette  and 
Dress  of  the  Best  American  society.  By 
Mrs.  E.  n.  Duffey.  [Cloth— pp.  320.] 
Magazines  for  Skptkmbke: 
Musical  TTade  Review. 
Wlfle-Aw’akc. 
The  Laws  of  I,lle. 
PERILS  OF  STAGE  BALCONIES  AND  BOATS, 
IlEUGiOK  finds  the  love  of  happiness  and  the 
piluciples  of  duty  separated  1  n  us ;  and  its  mission 
—Its  mastei-pleco— Is  to  reunite  them.-  i'in«f. 
Do  you  see  that  lovely  little  balcony  Jutting  out 
from  that  second  story  window  of  the  scenery  ? 
