A  uK*i>KR  advertises  “gejiulae  Jersey  elder” 
for  sale.  That  will  do  for  those  who  like  It ;  but 
most  persons  want  genuine  apple  elder. 
As  Irtshman  at  the  Centennial  Inquired  for  the 
Irish  art  gallery.  He  had  heard  there  was  a 
picture  there  by  his  countryman,  Mike  Langelow. 
MKNOKiAsonN's  home  at  Lelpslc  has  been  com¬ 
pletely  restored,  even  to  the  broken  plaster  where 
the  rolling  pin  missed  his  head  and  hit  the  wall. 
“Markiaok  Is  promotion,”  says  George  Kllot. 
In  the  eyes  of  such  a  reasoncr  u  man  with  his 
third  wUe  would  doubtless  pass  for  a  Brigadier- 
General. 
I  K.sgmhh  lawyers,  taking  example  from  their 
A merlean  brethren,  are  giving  up  the  traditional 
gown  and  wigs  and  appearing  in  court  la  ordinary 
costume. 
A  Wisconsin  editor  having  written  of  a  deceased 
gentleman  that  “sickness  had  Impaired  hts 
health,"  a  rival  rejoined.  “  Yes ;  It  often  has 
that  elTect.” 
And  still  the  Postal  Department  has  another 
Idea  In  postal  cards— something  combining  the 
beauty  of  an  oil  painting  and  the  convenience  of 
a  shawl  strap. 
>'ori’hkk.n  people  who  have  mot  Wade  Hampton 
socially  have  found  him  hearty,  Jolly,  courteous 
and  willing  to  fight  any  man  who  would  Invade 
American  soil. 
It  Is  buinlliatlng  to  a  young  man  who  has  been 
singing  his  sweetest  songs  In  front  of  a  house  to 
be  told  by  a  pollctinau  that  the  family  have  been 
absent  for  a  week. 
A  UAitwAY  porter  at  Hayworth  Heath,  England, 
committed  suicide  during  a  lit  of  delirium  tremens, 
by  swallowing  nearly  the  whole  of  an  eight-page 
newspaper.  It  choked  him. 
Nkari.v  every  clUzon  here  has  told  his  ivlfe  that 
there  ts  another  man  In  town  who  closely  re¬ 
sembles  him,  an<l  wlm  Is  frequemiy  seen  coming 
out  of  saloons.— /focA'Zrt?id  Oourtfr. 
A  New  OKkEANsraan  announces  In  a  circular 
that  having  rctuinod  from  a  sclentlflo  trip 
through  Europe,  he  Is  now  better  prepared  than 
ever  tor  cleaning  clothes  and  eai  pets. 
A  THRin  v  young  Teuton,  living  on  state  street, 
was  twked  If  he  should  attend  the  races.  “  l 
valts  dll  Tursday,”  said  he,  “  dll  der  free  for  all, 
den  1  bays  mlWa^.'’—svrinrjjteUl  Vnion, 
The  American  artist,  llcury  Bacon,  meditates 
the  establishment  of  a  school  of  art  for  his  country¬ 
women  In  Parts.  His  picture  of  Benjamin  Friink- 
lln,  In  the  Parts  Salon,  this  year,  was  highly 
praised. 
King  .\i.fon80's  favorite  diversions  are  riding 
and  hunting.  He  Is  fond  of  English  and  French 
literary  aud  historical  works,  and  Is  often  present 
at  the  drill  of  Ids  soldiers  before  six  o'clouk  In  the 
morning, 
IT  Is  stated  that  sometime  during  the  present^ 
year  a  party  of  one  hundred  Engllslimeu  Ls  com¬ 
ing  over  to  this  country  on  a  grand  fox  hunt. 
“1st!  Ush!”  Ark— the  'orn  of  the  ’uuter  Is  “card 
on  the  'ill. 
Mrs.  Uarribt  Bekcuku  Stowe  has  an  enormous 
collection  of  autographs  In  the  5C'i,!vts  signatures 
appended  to  an  anti-slavery  appeal,  Including  the 
names  of  nearly  all  the  women  of  emlnenee  In 
Great  Britain. 
A  CDsuiNH  but  ungrammatical  editor  says: 
“We  have  received  a  basketof  flue  grapes  from 
our  friend - ,  for  w  hich  he  will  please  accept 
onr  compliments,  some  of  which  are  nearly  an 
inch  In  diameter. 
Prof,  Huxijby  explains  that  the  technical  term 
used  in  science  to  designate  a  horse  ts  also  used 
to  designate  an  ass.  It  l.s  well  enough  to  remem¬ 
ber  this  In  case  you  should  ever  be  called  upon  to 
prepare  a  ciaselfled  Hat  of  American  statesmen. 
Isn’t  It  funny?  The  author  of  the  hymn,  “I  * 
would  not  live  alway ;  I  ask  not  to  stay,”  stays 
like  a  good  fellow,  being  eighty  years  of  age,  with 
plenty  of  appreciation  still  fur  the  good  things  of 
the  world-  Ho  Is  Dr.  W.  A.  Muhlenberg  of  New 
York. 
AN  Inquisitive  young  man  visited  a  State  pilson 
in  New  York,  and  among  his  questions  a,sked  a  ; 
gli'l  the  cause  of  her  being  in  such  a  place.  Her 
aaswer  was  that  she  “swile  a  watermill,  aud 
went  back  after  the  stream  chat  turned  the  mill 
and  was  arrested.”  The  young  man  left  imme¬ 
diately. 
“It  Is  now  sui)po3Cd  that  Abraham  was  the 
original  base  ball  player,  as  the  Scriptu  res  say 
that  he  pitched  In  the  wilderness.— [Philadelphia 
Bulletin.  True,  and  Moscts,  you  remember,  took 
A-run  with  him  In  the  wilderness.— [Exchange. 
Beg  their  pardons,  but  Noah  was  the  first  “  pitch¬ 
er  ”  (Qeh.  vl.,  14). 
An  editor  Is  deKrtbed  as  a  man  who  Is  liable  to 
grammatical  blunders,  typographical  errors,  and 
lapse  of  memory,  and  has  twenty-flve  Lhousancl 
people  watching  him  tripping- aman  of  sorrow 
and  acquainted  with  grief;  poorly  paid,  poorly 
estimated,  yet  envied  by  some  of  the  great  men 
he  has  made,— -Ve«'  Orleuns  JJiiHfUn. 
PERSONAL  ITEMS 
Kmpicmcttfjs!  and  parhittetij 
of  American 
Bret  Hartk  Is  In  Baltimore. 
The  farmer’s  best  veste-harvest. 
Paris  ha.s  600  finger-nail  doctors. 
Anna  Dickinson  Is  In  Cincinnati, 
Grn.  Schb.vck  la  about  to  write  a  book. 
Gen.  G.  B.  M0C1.KLI-AN  is  in  Cincinnati. 
Kag  gatherers  manage  to  pick  up  a  living. 
Mr.  Kdokne  Sent  vi.eu  is  a  great  linguist, 
Chari.es  FitANcrs  Adams  Is  worth  11,000,000. 
Ex-Qovkbnok  Hoffman  Is  at  the  Centennial. 
The  French  debt  Is  held  by  4,172,3ia  persons. 
What  Is  the  worst  kind  of  an  omen?  To  owe 
men. 
A  SON  of  a  Gunn  ha.s  been  married  in  Massachu- 
setts. 
The  Lee;  monument  fund  now  amounts  to 
125,000, 
Oraob  Dari.ing  exhibited  groat  sheroo-lsm  in 
saving  life. 
The  naming  of  days  was  a  week  Invention  of  the 
almanac  maker. 
Always  In  debt  when  there  Is  no  necessity  for 
it;  the  letter  B. 
AN  occasion  which  speaks  volumes— The  Librar¬ 
ians’  Oonferencel 
The  Louisville  Courier- Journal  calls  Silting 
Bull  “  sedentary  taurus.” 
The  first  bale  of  cotton  this  season  has  finished 
arriving.— .V.  o.  tieimblHvin, 
Mb.  Devilwateb,  appropriately  enough,  keeps 
a  liquor  shop  at  Evanston,  Ill. 
A  SION  In  Detroit  reads V\' anted  a  young 
man  to  drive  horso-s  up  stairs.” 
The  Sultan  of  Zanzibar  is  going  to  publish  the 
diary  of  hl.s  Journey  to  Europe. 
America  la  shipping  paper  to  England,  and  the 
Times  calls  it  the  be.st  in  the  world. 
A  GOOD  watch,  In  your  wakeful  moments,  will 
always  be  on  Its  guard  ag.alaat  you. 
A  MAN  can't  travel  into  a  >Yomau’S  atfcctlous  by 
getting  on  her  train.- iVorr.  Herald. 
Ukmbmrer  the  poor,  and  while  you  are  about  It 
remember  that  they  ueod  somotlilug. 
.Milwaukee  Is  called  the  Cream  City  on  account 
of  the  number  ol  pumps  In  Its  streets. 
Why  ore  circus  horses  sucli  slow  goers?  Be¬ 
cause  they  are  taught  'orses  (tortoises). 
How  Is  It  that  some  people  always  do  things  by 
halves?  Wliy,  lu-two-li.lvely  of  course. 
St.  Lotus  has  a  larger  population  than  any 
other  city  with  the  same  number  of  Inhabitants. 
l.NDiANs  can’t  fight  all  the  while.  Some  time  Is 
required  for  the  great  work  of  culling  for  rations. 
A  Nyack  man  got  out  of  plaster  and  finished 
the  sides  of  the  parlor  with  thirteen  pumpkin 
plus. 
An  Illinois  German,  Zeher  by  name,  was  pre¬ 
sented  with  five  children  in  one  year— threes  and 
twos. 
No  preacher  can  expect  to  deliver  a  live  sermon 
by  making  a  skeleton  of  his  thoughts  before 
hand. 
Joseph  appears  to  have  been  the  firet  man  on 
record  who  had  any  experience  In  Egyptian 
bonds. 
Professor  Huxley's  three  lectures  proved  a 
regular  bono-aaza.  He  received  |l,600  tor  each  of 
them. 
Martin  Farquar  TUPPKK,the  proverbial  philo¬ 
sopher,  Is  coming  to  .\merlca  Uils  fall  to  give 
readings. 
.K  QUACK  doctor  advertises  confidingly,  “  People 
never  cough  after  taking  one  bottle  of  my  cough 
mixture." 
AN  low'a  Judge  says  that  a  man  may  legally 
kiss  his  hired  girl  If  he  can  swear  he  thought  It 
was  Ills  wife. 
Among  others,  General  Hood  has  been  Invited  to 
attend  the  unveiling  ot  the  McPherson  statue  at 
SVashlngton. 
“  Mv  .son  has  earned  a  reputation  tor  scholar¬ 
ship,”  said  an  old  man ;  “  but  tlie  worst  of  it  Is  be 
cannot  earn  a  living.” 
The  Judge  who  Is  clothed  with  a  little  brief  au¬ 
thority  should  bring  a  new  suit  In  court  before 
oold  weather  comes  on. 
JO.SBFU  IlADiiKM  Of  Erie  Countj',  “shot eleven 
squirrels  In  four  shots.”  It  looks  as  It  Joseph 
liaddem  tu  close  quarters. 
Katk  Fiklu  la  also  mad  at  Joaiiuln  Miller.  She 
says  she  can’t  respect  a  man  who  sleeps  with  his 
head  at  the  foot  of  the  bed. 
MosquiTOKS  still  prevail,  but  it  is  noticed  that 
they  hum  only  revival  airs  and  never  buzz  biick 
when  they  are  struck  at  now. 
Mr.  Hobert  Buchanan,  the  poet,  got  about 
$7.50  in  money  out  of  Ids  libel  suit  against  the  pro¬ 
prietor  of  the  London  Examiner. 
PAun  Josephs,  the  actress  who  fell  from  a  win¬ 
dow  in  Philadelphia  and  was  killed,  was  a  sister 
of  the  Rev.  Dr,  lairlmer  of  Boston. 
Turkey’s  worst  foas  are  her  own  religious 
fanatics.  The  fact  is,  the  “Sick  Man  ot  Euiope  ” 
Is  dy  ing  under  Allah-pathlc  treatment. 
The  3'oung  man  who  wrote  and  asked  his  girl  to 
accept  a  “bucket”  of  flowers,  became  a  little 
pale  when  she  said  she  wooden  ware  It. 
Victor  Hugo  mercilessly  says Should  1 
never  write  another  word,  12  volumes  ot  my  un¬ 
published  works  could  still  be  Issued  from  the 
press.” 
AMERICA,  Greeting ; 
Jalyaud  oaaIsI  at  your  CKNTEN- 
opportnnlty  brins  you  >»in- 
/  manufactured  by  our  couiitry- 
^  rOLItVOISIKU  of  NeRchntPl, 
Those  Watche*  arofaTorably  known 
' — - sold  by  our  local  ajtents  In  almost 
-V"-  auu  ,  . . .  Tbeir  repuutlpn  foracenrate  pertermanoc  '»  utdver^llY 
acknowlodRod.  They  ant  inaiiufaciurcd  in  Gold  nod  Silver  t.nsea,  Hlciii  and  Key  Wtudira.  These 
Watches  have  auperlor  quality  of  Rlcliel  .llpTemeniB,  t:hn»nomelcr  HiilaiiceH,  BieKUet  Hair 
HurlDRN,  Tempered,  Iiardeiied  and  laochronlaed  for  R.  K»  uac,  flan  ICuljy  Jeweled,  set  la 
(  liaion.  and  ivurruated  to  pcrlorin  with  the  reirularity  and  iirrurnry  of  a  chronometer.  Ask 
your  Watchmaker  Lj  see  tneii)  nalore  purchaslDK  Ihoue  of  other  makers,  me  we  have  been  autUorUed  to 
sell  them  at  a  ruduuilon  from  former  pneea. 
CtUINCITK  ^  TvRirG-LER. 
HALEtAHOOMi  IIS  MAIDEN  LANE,  N.  V.,  L'p  Stnlro. 
Only  Wbolcaale  Asente  for  the  Manufactcrera.  Jowdera  wanted  tu  act  ag  Agenta. _ 
SWITZERLAND  to 
hPfCMUli 
-  Ff^in  Inteniatlitnal  Centeanlal 
EXPOSITION, 
^  bho., 
nil  I'remiuuj  Farm Crirt  Mill 
Ull  —the  griodlnR  part*  are 
uow  made  of  STkel,  bIvIue 
tnur  f.ltnrA  ihr  tiurahUily  over  cast  Iron,— CTlnda  rap¬ 
idly.  and  U  adapted  to  all  klnda  of  Horae  Powers, 
nil  Lnlon  Railway  Horae  Power,  requlrliijr  very 
U  W  liltlo  elevrtlon,  and  produoiiiK  Ereat  power, 
nil  Broom  Machinery,  for  makliitt  Corn  Brooms, 
ll  El  Send  tor  VttrripUre  Circular*. 
The  Best  are  the  Cheapest 
COLLINS  &  CO.’S 
Greatly  linproTed  and  Kediirrd  in  Priee. 
For  partlculara,  scud  your  address  to 
COLLINS  dk  CO., 
‘J1‘i  Water  Ni.,  Few  York  City, 
STEVENS'  PATENT  BREECH-LOADING 
AT»0T>va?0  IDIGKi-BJFi.— 
Drawn  by  one  horse— the  best  extanl.  l.KO  In 
use.  We  will  deliver  sample  to  your  Railroad  Depot 
In  the  United  *tHies  on  receipt  of  fli. 
KENYON  BROS.,  Carbondale.  Penn. 
BAI.DWIN’H 
imrriran  Fodder  Cutler 
OMHILB  Of 
Sporting  Rifles.  Double  and  flincle  Barrel  Shot  Guns, 
Pocket  Rifles.  Pocket  nsiols,  aud  the  noted  Hunter  a 
Pet  Rifles  Fund  for  ralfilORUe. 
J.  »TEVKN8  it  CO.,  Chicopee  Fulls,  Miiea. 
Beat  la  the  market.  Don't 
purebase  any  other  kind 
until  you  have  seen  and 
examined  this.  Send  for 
Circular,  ountalnInR  De¬ 
scription  and  Price  l^t. 
tIDEU  PRKNHEN  AND  fJItATERH.  „  „ 
j  BouMcu  A  Bosl-heut  press  go.,  Nyracuac.  N.Y, 
SEE  JOHNSTON  HARVESTERS  AT  CENTENNIAL 
C.  PIKUPONT  &  Ca 
Manufacturers, 
Nbw  Haven,  conn, 
SELLS  AT  SIGHT. 
No  oold  or  sore  flugers.  Can  bo 
used  with  or  without  lulliens.  Last 
a  lifetime.— Taken  6  Premiums.— 
One  sample  25  cts.;  4  for  75  cts. 
CITY  NOVKI.TY  CO„ 
108  fiouth  8ih  8t., 
PUiliidelphia,  Pn. 
Say  where  you  taw  ihis  a-lx’crtlfem't. 
UNION 
FLAX& HEMP  BRAKES 
MALLORY  &  SANFORD  PATENTS. 
The  must  clesirabto  in  any  loarket.  For  sale  by 
JOH.\  W.  QUINCY,  yS  Wmiara  St..  N.  V.  City, 
NEW  FORCE  FEED 
BUCKEYE  GRAIN  DRILL 
A  double  barrel  gun,  bar  or  front  action  locks ; 
warranted  eeuulne  twist  barrels,  and  a  good  .booier, 
OR  NO  SALE;  with  Flask,  P'jucb  Hud  Wad-cuiter.  for 
$15.  Can  be  aunt  C.  O.  D..  with  privilege  to  examine 
before  paying  bill.  l*eod  stamp  for  Circular  to  P. 
POWELL  A  SON,  238  Main  Street.  C.nctnnatl,  O. 
witu  Fertilizer  Attachment, 
THE  “VIBRATOR”  THRESHER  IS  KINO  OF  ALL 
Manufacturers  of  Agricultural  Implements 
Higgnuuin,  Conn. 
It  Beats 
them 
all. 
PRENIIUMI 
FARM  GRIST-MILL. 
Grinds  all  kinds  of  grain  rap¬ 
idly.  l.s  simple,  duiable  and 
cheap.  Is  suited  tn  all  kinds  of 
horse-powers.  Every  fariner 
should  have  It,  Send  for  De¬ 
scriptive  Circular. 
WM.  L.  BOVKR  A  BKO. 
Pliiindelphia,  Fu. 
THE  ABOVE  CUT  RBi'RESBNTS 
THE  VICTORY  CORN  MILL. 
This  mill  will  grind  corn  and  cob  rapidly,  coarse 
and  fine;  also,  all  other  kinds  of  grain  or  sead. 
Capacity,  10  to  )2U  bnaliela  per  hour.  It  Is 
made  eutirely  of  iron,  except  the  bupper.  It  la 
strong,  durable,  and  not  liable  to  got  out  of  repair. 
IlwllT  grind  more  feed  with  less  power  than  any 
utber  mill  In  the  market.  This  la  uo  humbug.  We 
warrant  It  to  do  what  wo  claim.  Agents  wanted 
every »  here.  Price  $40,  delivered  on  cars  at  Spring- 
held.  Address 
T.  KOBKRT8  •!:  CO.,  Bpriugfield,  Ohio. 
rSf-  We  also  manufacture  4K  horse-power  Vertical 
Portable  Engines,  suitable  fur  running  these  mills, 
or  for  any  other  purpose  for  which  po  wer  le  required. 
Price  $2(XI. 
A.  P.  pick^',  Kacln^  Wls.  ‘ 
H.  VV.  MAICCELLUS,  Rochester.  N.  Y., 
Agent  for  Western  New  Y’ork, 
MooBK’s  Rural  New-Yobkkr.—  With  ita  full 
corps  of  editors,  aud  a  now  publisher  of  energy  and 
ability,  the  management  propose  to  celebrate  the 
quarier-centennial  of  the  pioneer  Rubal  In  such  a 
manner  as  to  augment  Its  popularity  and  usefulness. 
For  a  first-class,  lively  paper,  containing  matter  of 
interest  for  all  classes,  take  the  Rural  >’kw- Yobk- 
KB,  and  do  80  at  once,  for  the  paper  never  was  beU 
ter,  and  Us  prospects  never  brighter.— P  eeporl  {lU.) 
JuUnial, 
MooKE’s  Rural  New-Vouker  became  a  house¬ 
hold  word  and  power  In  the  land  long  before  we  quit 
“  going  to  Bchool,”  and,  perhaps,  needs  no  comment 
from  ns;  still  “Its  memory  is  over  fresh  and  green,” 
and  Is  renewed  by  Us  appearance  every  week,  brim¬ 
ful  of  good  thing*  as  ever.  We  are  glad  to  announce 
that  our  predictions  in  the  January  number  are 
being  more  than  fulfilled.  We  have  sent  It  more 
than  flee  hundred  names,  and  we  learn  that  sub¬ 
scriptions  have  been  pouriug  In  tn  like  proportions 
from  all  parts  of  the  country,  despite  the  bard  limes. 
Long  may  U  continue  to  be  what  It  is— a  power  for 
good  In  the  land.— Apent’*  Friend. 
Rt  hall  price.  The  Siibscribera  will  »cH  their 
Bntire  S4tork  o.f  Fiauos  Organs,  new  and 
accuud  b'lnd,  ot  six  firai-cluas  laukera  j  sbeia 
iiiuaie,  and  8.  8.  iiiusic  hooka,  at  •'kU  F15K  L'T. 
Oii'P',  fur  cash  previons  to  reninvnl  to  their 
new.  ,a4«re,  40  BAST  14th  81.,  L'.MOh 
8QUAKB.  Oct.  IMlh.  ) lluairated  catulogues 
filailed.  iHuatbly  Inataiineuta received.  A,ft’a 
Wanted.  Mpecial  induceiiieuta  to  the  trade. 
UOIXAUE  WATERS  A:  SONS,  niRualaeiu- 
rera  and  Dealers.  481  Broadway,  N.  Y. 
At  Our  Riak.— You  can  remit  by  Draft,  P.  0. 
Money  Order  or  Registered  Letter  at  our  rUk. 
