YARNS TOLD AT SEA 
147 
itself engaged in the prevailing pastime, stood around absorbed in 
watching the players, quick to see a slip, for had they not heavy 
bets on the result ? 
But accounts of voyages are as dreary as the voyages themselves. 
There was, however, an even larger crop of stories than usual, of 
which I recall the following. 
A Japanese gentleman, who had been poring over an English 
phrase-book, was anxious to air his newly acquired knowledge. 
Accordingly, on meeting an Englishman at a railway station he 
politely raised his hat and said: “ Good evening, Sir or Madam, as 
the case may be/' 
Two Scotsmen and a Frenchman shared a cabin one night on a 
Channel steamer; the vessel pitched and rolled heavily, and two of 
the three were not happy. One of the Scots had the irritating habit 
of snoring in a crescendo till he would wake with a start. His fellow 
passengers resented this, more especially the Frenchman. Once 
again the stalwart Scot began his crescendo, and as he was working 
up to his loudest the vessel gave a heavier lurch than usual. 
Accordingly he gave vent to a louder snort than ever, after which 
he subsided into absolute quiet. “ Grace a Dieu ! ” said the French¬ 
man, “ il est mort.” 
An American bishop from Shanghai told us that the only means 
of communication between the Italian nuns, who do the nursing in 
a hospital there, and the foreign sailors who make up a large part 
of their patients, is Pidgin English. Some English seamen came 
one day to inquire after a ship-mate who had met with a serious 
accident. The sister-in-charge said: “He topside walkee last 
night.” They accordingly went upstairs, but failed to find him in 
the upper ward, and only gradually realized that he was dead. 
The same bishop gave us the substance of an English essay on 
“ The Cat,” written by a Chinese pupil in a mission school:— 
“ The cat is one of God’s best gifts to man, therefore He, in 
His mercy, endowed him with nine lives. These, however, are not 
so useful in China now as formerly, since the introduction of 
Christianity.” 
As a piece of English literature this effort of the Yellow-boy may 
be well considered to attain the high level of the classic treatise of 
the Bengali babu on “ The Horse ” :— 
“ The horse is a noble animal, but does not always do so.” 
