64 
JAN. 22 
THI RURAL NEW-YORKER. 
LlW-viVw 
V eteran Corn Sheller 
[BRIC-A-BRAC 
A lover’s indecision. 
Do I love her ? 
Dimpling red lips at me pouting, 
Dimpling shoulders at me flouting— 
No, I don’t! 
Do I love her 7 
Prisoned in these crystal eyes 
Purity forever lieB— 
Yes, I do! 
Do I love her '! 
Little wild and willful fiction. 
Teasing, torturing contradiction— 
No, I don’t! 
Do I love her ? 
With kind acts and sweet words she 
Aids and comforts poverty— 
Yes, I do! 
Do I love her 7 
Quick she puts her cuirass on, 
Stabs with laughter, stings with scorn 
No, I don’t! 
Do I love her 7 
No! When to my arms she flies, 
Filling me with glad surprise— 
Ah ! yes, I do! 
***** * 
FOR HAND OR POWER. 
Just the thing for Mill, Farm and Plan¬ 
tation. 
Power and IImid Corn SheMers of nil sizes 
and to suit all wants. 
HORSE POWERS, JACKS, Etc. 
Write for Descriptive Circulars and prices. Ad¬ 
dress SANDWICH MANlird CO., 
(sandwich, Illinois, 
nred, and Actress Chromos. 10c. Ag’s 
look, 25o. Skavy Bkos., Northford, Ct. 
Will. Spelr, having occasion to cross a bridge 
where a penny toll was exacted for foot passen¬ 
gers, pleaded poverty, and begged to be allowed to 
pass free. The toUman was inexorable. Will 
protested. “ Wee'l. I canna pay you.” “ You can¬ 
not pass then.” Maun I staun stlU here like ane 
o’ the stoops o’ your yett?” “ Yes, or return the 
way you came, or beg a penny to pay the toll.” 
“Gang back 1 you gauk,” said Will: “ would gang¬ 
ing back hain your brig, would It no wear’t just as 
muekle as my coming alangs't it did—I hlnna time 
to gang back the noo—there’s your penny to you 
man: an’ the nelsttime I come this way I’Ll gang a 
whole day on’t at ween the Inside o’ the yett there 
and the tlther end, and take my pennyworth oot o’ 
the brig.” ___ 
Every Man His Own Miller. 
ggiwhaw0*3 The only Mill that will 
•‘t'ST- grind Corn with Shuck on 
w lib out ext ra expense. The 
-_only Mill grinding Corn and 
tob suceiissi ully that will 
r'TtiTgrind Shell od Coru line 
.. < enough for family use. 
'in Grinds twice as fast as any 
A®/a ,7 \ , ott,cr Mill ol same size and 
t’r* 08. Manufactured by 
field,son&co. 
022 N. 2d St.. St. Louis. 
PREPARED FOR A SEVERE WINTER 
GUN WORKS. 
Send etamp for Catalogue. 
Rifles,ShotOuni, Revolver*,•eate.o.d. forexamiaation 
Dreech-Loading Shot Guns, $20 to $300. Double Shot 
Guns, to $150. Single Guns. $3 to $20. Rifles and Cart¬ 
ridges. $S to $76. Revolvers. $] to $26. Send stamp 
for Price List GREAT WESTERN GUN WORKS. 
Pittsburg. Pa. 
The funniest man iu all the town 
He thought himself did Mr. Brown. 
While at the club one night ho saw 
A new silk tile upon the floor. 
And winking to the crowd so slick 
He gave the hat a gentle kick; 
And then another, just to show 
That wit from empty heads can flow. 
All caught the humor of his fun— 
To kick the hat they vied each one, 
Therene’er was such a Joyful crowd. 
And Mr. brown fell very proud, 
And when leave-taking came broad smiles, 
All wore while putting on their tiles, 
Save Mr. Brown, whose mirth was flown— 
The hat so crushed was all his own. 
Best Har¬ 
row made. 
Cuts every 
inch of 
ground, k 
adapted to 
all kinds 
of soil. Pe- 
c u 1 i a r 
“ What have you been drinking, or eating ?” 
exclaimed his wife, as he returned late at 
night. “ Liquor-ish,” he responded, and then 
he winked at himself in the dark and breathed 
thin till he got asleep. 
One of the most provokiug episodes we can 
just now think of is to meet a lady friend, and 
in eudeavoring to raise your soft hat by the 
crown, find yon have on your Derby, and claw 
all over the top of It before recalling the 
change in head-gear. In the meantime the 
young lady glides by, wonderiug what the 
mischief is the matter, and if you are losing 
what little mind you once possessed.—Lock- 
port Union. 
Tub nervous mother of a bright little boy 
was alarmed lest he should take the whooping 
cough, which prevailed in the neighborhood. 
She talked so much about it and worried over 
it, that ehe had infected the child with her 
fears to such an extent that he would scarcely 
leave her side. One night after the little fel¬ 
low had been put to bed and asleep, a don¬ 
key was driven past the house, and when 
just opposite set up his he-haw. Withashriek 
the little fellow was out of bed, screaming at 
the top of his voice, “ The whooping-cough 
is coming, mamma; the whooping-cough is 
coming.” 
*’ Tommy, my son, what are you going to do 
with that club ?" “Send it to the editor, of 
course." “But what are you going to 6end it 
to the editor for ?" “Cause he says if anybody 
will 6end him a club he will send them a copy 
of his paper.” The mother came near faint¬ 
ing, but recovered herself sufficiently to ask: 
"But, Tommy, dear, what do you suppose he 
wants with a club?” "Well, I don’t know,” re¬ 
plied the urchiD, “unless it is to knock down 
subscribers as don’t pay for their paper. I 
suppose there are plenty of such mean peo¬ 
ple.” That boy stands a chance for the Presi¬ 
dency if he lives. 
. . • s b ft P e “I 
tooth makes it easy of draft and loaves the ground 
light and mellow. Relieves itself of all ob-troetions, 
Bundled very compact for shipment, a sinus cut <j. H, 
audio ft Agents wanted. Write for Circulars to 
FllELPS BIG FLOW WINI) MILL 
lialaiiiazou, Michigan. 
all styles, Gold, Silver and Nickel, $6.(10 to 
I$150 Chains, etc., sent G. O. D.,to be ex¬ 
amined. Wi'it* for Catalogue to (standard 
Anmrirnn Watch Co., Pittsburg, Pa, 
Boom kb & Bohohekt Pa ess Co.. Syracuse, N. Y, 
For Sale. 
One of the best Stock Furnas, of 720 acres, in South- 
Eastern Kansas. An abundance of (rood water and 
timber, and good buildings. Inquire of 
JAS. J. DAVIS. Evkbktt, Woodson Co., Kan. 
“What do you learn at school 7” asked Uncle 
Tom. “Nawthln,” said Bill, working away at a 
tangle in his tlshllne. “ What do you study then 7” 
asked the uncle again. “Nawthln,” replied the 
nephew. “ What on earth do you go to school 
for 7” roared the astonished uncle. “ same thing, 
I reckon,” replied Bill; the assistant Is young and 
pretty, and the principal is a bachelor, and that’s 
about all there Is of It.” 
Vnil CIIDDDICC Mt with your hberai 
TUU dUnrnlot lYlt oirer! NoverlbelesR 
we will send you a *’ gem of an autograph album” 
of 4(i pages and a book of 3(H) choice selections, all 
for 7 tbree-eunt stamps. As to our reliability, in¬ 
quire of this paper. Address 
BL 11T & PRENTICE, 
4<> Heckman Ml 
Illustrated GARDEN GUIDE, of 
the best Flowers and Vegetables, 
with prices of Heeds, and how to grow 
them. FREE TO ALL. It it:ill pat/ (o 
A WISHBONE. 
He held one side and slio the other; 
What did he wish 7 I could not tell; 
He pulled, she pulled, and then her mother 
Came in; perchance 'twas Just as well. 
For after it was passed he told me 
His wish, a wish I should not name, 
’Twas for a kiss; a bird sang near me 
And told me hers; it was the same. 
It will pan to 
COLE k BROTHER, Seedsmen, Bella, Iowa 
KICK CONCORD CRIPF.-VINIW 
for 81, by mail post-paid. Think iff'it; Order 
now for early Sprine shipment. I'rrmhir* fire. 
™ v Wm.B. Reed, Chambrralmrg Nor- 
•erica, Cliamberabnrir, Pa. Mention this paper, 
GRAPEVINES 
Bend for Trice-list to 
. D. S. MARV IN, 
J Watertown, N. Y. 
Halladay Standard. 
VICTORIOUS AT 
Phila., 1876—Paris, 1878 
Years In Use. 
WB GUARANTEED SUPERIOR 
To any other Windmill Made. 
17 SUES I MAR TO 45 HORSE POWER 
Adopted by thf ls4ulinv II. R. Co.'s 
~~ and bp liis V. R, Govt. at 
\ Ports ana Garrisons. 
63,000,000 worth now in Use. 
y aff il UnU T* Prlce'L/'t 1 ' °* t * l0K ' ue " B " am * 
u. S. WIND END. APiWPCO., 
A BLOTTING PAD. 
“Have a blotting pad, sir?” asked a peripa¬ 
tetic dealer, reachLng out one of those absorbents. 
“ How do you fasten the thing on 7” inquired 
Jones, after turnlug It over and over. 
•• Fasten It on!” exclaimed the peddler; “ what 
do you mean?” 
“ What do I mean 7” cried Jones, looking up. 
“ Young man, I’ve had experience In this pad 
business. I’ve bought them for the head, stomach 
and liver, and this Is the first one I ever saw with 
no tackle on It. No, I don't want it. Good-day.” 
The man saw it was no use to argue with Jones. 
—Boston Transcript. 
T»EAR SHEDIjIIVGS. 
For Good, Healthy No 2 1’EAU SEEDLINGS, 
Address E. GOODELL k CO., Homer, N. Y. 
C HESTER CO. MAMMOTH Seed Corn. Pro- 
rmum Bronze Turkeys, Chester White Pigs. Brahma 
Fowls. B. L. WOOD, 
Doe Run. Cheater Co., Pa. 
IMPROVED CALIFORNIA 
A WINDMILL. 
A MONTH—AGENTS WANTED—75 
best selling articles in the World; l sample 
free. Address Jay Bronson, Detroit, Mich. 
They sat together at the grate, 
Aud merry jokes were telling: 
She shook the popper o’er the coals 
And he the coru was shelling. 
How beautiful it looks cried he. 
Don’t think l tell a whopper; 
I wish 1 had it in my hand 
And you were in the popper. 
Pray, what have I so evil done, 
Said she, to merit roasting ? 
I don’t believe that Just for fun 
You’d give me such a toastiug. 
But don’t you see my Mary Ann 
How swiftly leap year’s hoppi ng 
And if I had you in the pan, 
Why then you’d do the popping. 
The Kupidlty of Progress toward 
Health, 
Even when a good remedy for disease Is selected, 
depends iu some measure upon the manner in 
which It Is taken. Irregular. Interrupted doses 
can afford no ralr test of tlie efficacy ot any medi¬ 
cine, nowever salutary. Taken In proper doses 
at prescribed Intervals, a reliable curative will 
effect the object of Its use. Among remedies 
which, systematically and persistently used, ac¬ 
complish thorough and lastlug curea.aml prevents 
the recurrence of pertodfc disease, llost niter's 
Stomach Bitters ranks specially high. In eases 
of dyspepsia, debility, rheumatism, fever aud 
ague, liver complaint, inactivity of the kidneys 
and bladder, constipation and other organic 
maladies, It Is a tried remedy, to which the medi¬ 
cal brotherhood have lent, their professional sanc¬ 
tion, and which as a tonic, alterative and house¬ 
hold specific lor disorders of the stomach, liver 
aud bowels has an unbounded popularity. 
COLUMBIA BICYCLE. 
* f.- i j. Bicycle riding jh an aeeomplish- 
pout cosily acquired, and is rapid- 
/ I \\ ly becoming the most popular of 
AxvWm//P tt out-qpor sports; a» a liealt > restnra- 
■'tivc it Is In valuable, bringing into 
I——II action every muscle of the body, 
1 strengthening the lunge, aud iu- 
V /qYA, vigorating the w. -wted brain. The 
/1 \\ yp 7 K~) practicability of the machine in 
%/// l \\y vAZ - generally conceded throughout the 
1 1 .. country, and the thousands of bi¬ 
cycles in dMily unit are constantly increasing in num¬ 
ber. Send lie. stamp tor catalogue, vrith price lint ftud 
lull information. THE POPP. M’F’G CO. 
595 Washington Ntrwt.Boston. Mass. 
Ij Simple,Strong, Durable, Rosette Wheel 
? and perfectly Self-rei 
loo weariiii ’ ‘ 
Feed Grin 
giilatlng, avoiding 
j,,..,,... Also, Steveu’B Pony 
—- Jor and a perfect Rotary Mo¬ 
tion attachment, without geariug, the 
power being communicated by the lift 
or up stroke of Pomp Rod. Can be used 
for cutting feed, churning, kc. The 
best, cheapest amt most useful power in 
the market". Full particulars, circulars. 
Ac., sent free. Address the Manufac- 
OLARK & OIL. Somanaok, 111. 
urers. 
(jrrno cabbag-e Seed 
iJLLUu.A SPECIALTY. 
Wholesale Price Lists—for dealers only—mailed free 
FRANCIS BRILL, 
Seed Grower, Importer and Dealer, 
MATTITUCK, Long Island. N. Y. 
A v cloak cor called to a bootblack to polish his 
shoes, and showered vituperative epithets upon 
him for his slowness, till at last the little fellow 
stopped his work, and looking up exclaimed; “See 
here, mister, ’taint no use to work on your shoes 
any more till somebody polishes your tongue l” 
Obkdiknck.— “ Don’t waste your time clipping 
off the branches,” said the woodman to his son, 
“ but lay your axe at the root or the tree.” And 
the young man went out and laid his ax at the 
root of the tree, like a good and dutiful boy—and 
then went fishing. Truly, there is nothing so 
beautiful as filial obedience l 
•Manufacturers of 
FINEST QUALITY SILVER-PLATED TABLE WARE, 
OF EVERY DESCRIPTION. ’ 
The reason why the poets speak of October as 
“ sober” is because sober Is the only word they 
can find to rhyme with October. 
Factory at Wallingford, Conn 
