HUMOROUS. 
A colored preacher, in translating to his 
hearers the sentence, “ The harvest is post, the 
Summer is over, and we are not saved,” put 
it: “ De corn has been cribbed, dere ain't any¬ 
more work, and old Satan is still foolin’ wid 
dis community.” 
A Young man, pale and visibly agitated, 
hurriedly entered a drug store late one night 
and accosting the clerk, said: “Give mo an 
ounce of chlorate of potash, will you, as quick 
as you can T' Observing his perturbation, the 
clerk ventured to ask : ‘ * What’s your hurry ?’ 
“Why, I’ve been kissing our Sunday-school 
teacher since nine o’clock, and she didn’t tell 
me till ten minutes ago, that she was afraid 
she had the diphtheria.” 
“ Tommy, did you hear your mother call 
you?” “Corse 1 did!” “Then why don’t 
you go to her at once “ Well, yer see she’s 
nervous, and it’d shock her awful ’f I should 
go too suddent.” 
A queer looking character went into one 
of our dry goods stoics und inquired the price 
of a yard of ribbon. The clerk informed him 
that the price was six cents. “Sixteen? I’ll 
give you fifteen.” “I did not say' sixteen, I 
said six cents,” said the clerk. “ Oh ! six 
cents. Well, I'll give you five,” was the re¬ 
ply.—Peck’s Sun. 
This notice is found posted up in a Virginia 
blacksmith shop : “ Not is—De copartnership 
heretofore resisting betwixt me and Mose Skin¬ 
ner is hereby resolved. Dean what owe de 
firm will settle wid me, and dem what de firm 
owe will settle wid Mose.” 
i— - 
Prof. TT. J. Deal, of the Michigan Agricul¬ 
tural College, says “The Rural New-Yorker 
s now the heat paper.” 
Every EstevOrgan 
Said is made 
Throughout with 
Equal fidelity, and 
Years of experience 
nave proven the wisdom of this rule, for both seller 
and buyer. 
Send for Illustrated Catalogue. 
J. ESTEY & CO., Brattleboro, Vermont. 
THE IMPROVED 
EVAPORATORS ft 
Make better __ n-y 
SYRUP, ^ 
with lens fuel and labor than any other apparatus 
Will condense Sorghum J uu» faster that) anv evajHJra 
tor in use. and conaecjuoutly to nice lighter syrup and 
whiter sugar. The best apparatus known for making 
Jelly from sweet cider. Send for descriptive circulars 
of Evaporators, Oaue Mills, /tee A vent* wanted. 
VERMONT FARM MACH. CO.. Hollows Falls Vt. 
THE 
m 
RIGHT SPEEDY 
Cheap, Durable n:id It fleet, 
ivo; She U )i to 14 bushelB 
per hour. It Is the best 
corn shelter made, and I 
wurrauttliem for live years. 
Prior. $r>, or. handsomely 
Itirkle-t dated, *«. 
A<;K7*T.h WANTED. 
If the-eis no agent in your 
vtelndy, T -will send Shelter 
prepaid on receipt of price. 
Sen t for circular. 
, CFltTIH GODDARD, 
Aluanok.Ohio. 
Menu.. . mmi] New-Yorker 
THE WOODS CORN SHELLER. 
PAT. NOV. 23,18S0. 
It is the best, cheapest & stm- 
f ilest tnachin ? In the market, 
t separates two com and cob, 
and remember it is wafronted 
l or 5 years K used in a proper 
way. Nearly l.ilOO uow in use 
and giving good satisfaction. 
AGENTS WANTED 
in every county In the United 
States. For terms and partic¬ 
ulars add n-ss 
J. L. WOODS, 
Sole Manufacturer A: Patentee 
Alliance, Ohio. 
Sample Shelter 6ent on re. 
ceipt of &UM. 
Unhappy predicament of little John A the Fair, when pa and ma are both struck at the 
same time with different objects of interest. 
Metallic Shingles. 
Make the most durable and ornamental roofs In the 
world. One-fourth the weight of slate, and will not 
break from any cause; cannot blow otf, and arc abso¬ 
lutely tight. Send for descriptive circular and re¬ 
duced prices to 
Anglo-American Roofing Co., 
22 Cl,IKK ST,, N’KW YORK. 
15S LEADEN HALL ST., LONDON. ENGLAND. 
$ rift » week, $12 a day at home easily v vie. Ooetly 
outfit free. Address Trno & Co., Augusta, Maine. 
Qftf! a week in your own town. Terms and $5 outfit 
OvU fr»e. Address H. Hallett & Oo„ Portland, Maine 
(ESTABLISHED 1832.) 
BRADLEY & CO., SYRACUSE, NEW YORK. 
Send for Illustrated Catalogue. Agents Wanted. 
CHEAPEST AND BEST FERTILIZER— FOLLOW NATURE. 
Which TTfllCS GROUND RAW UMlSSTONElU MAKING THE 
HOI1* Thorn warn no Lima Kline around burning lime when JSr ywk 
thegood L.tinu?iioue Ka ruii ng lunil* were originally made. _ * fM [f wa. 
Every i'ennor mil prenaiv his own t urtilm-r with *n ordi- - r i /j 
nnrv Horne Power by using FORS’lEK'S COM BIN- t.,'. ~ ■ T- -’q g:,;, \ \ fi YJL 
KD CRUSH Kit «fc Ptll.VKlt.rZKK, which fc-dec* a lump V MjSSSM 
of Limantone threo to nv<> indict) square. and Crushes and ’SfflK 1 IMBIlfe™£.1 ■ 
Rim prases It in one operation, same as. PurrV Farmer* H 
use the Ground Law 1 . 11110001 - 1 , and drill and sow it Just or it 
cornea from the machine. NV. \V. tteM.Of Erie, has tried it 6 Zf 
yearn,ami k».v* it showsa prufitover J’ono Du-tof 81 .‘*1 per M 
acre; over rhoej'liuto of per acre: over Guano of $»7u _ 
per sere; over Salt of !*:{>!* 1 per jiore.n no that It will lust- 
twice na long. Jo),nG. Rear, of Montgomery,Lycoming x JBDAlt' 
Oa.Wiys: "I believoit to bethe oh os peat und best r> rtilia.r 
in this country. It »m u»r!h three.t-men ajimiuch no JhtriU Lime, and with this machine doe* not cost half as 
riiueA an Pur>i( Lrme to make."— H. C. i alls, hrw t Tuttle. Pa., sa> .. 1 used the Ground Limestone last year 
with great satisfaction as to results, and cannot too strongly recumnuiid it for farm and garden purposes 
Where I dropped my corn on top of lu the corn came up first, and was strong amt thrifty—the Limestone 
drawing themoiatnreto the roots. Laedln place of Pans-grecn on Potatoes, tt kept the Bugs away and made 
the plants thrifty and strong; being vi'Abed Into the ground, it benefited the Potatoes in an astonishing man¬ 
ner. Address only TtiTTEN A. CO., I'lttsburuk. fa. ONLY MAKE KM. 
BOLSTER SPRINGS FOR FARM WAGONS. 
Made of Beet Oil Tempered Steel. 
f| The ONLY RELIABLE Bolster Spring in Use. 
OLD FASHIONED HAND FORDED RAZOR STEEL KNIFE. 
___ _ IMA HER «V (JROHH, 
HO iUonroc SI.. To • * 
do. f/liio, to Introduce 
their brand of cutlerv 
(every blade warranted 
and replaoed Free if 
sol tor flawy'. will send 
postpaid, knife like cut, 
strong blades and ebony 
handle for Tic.: or with 8 
blades $1. Wo h*’e 1 
blade knife. 26o,; extra 
heavy 1 blade, toe.; medi¬ 
um 3 blade. li.<5.; extra 
heavy 2 blade made for hard usage, 75 cts.: Our Best 2 blade, every blade tested, $1. Doy'* 2 blade.SSc. 
Ladle-’ I blade, 25c.; 2 blade. 50c. -Gents’ fine 3 blade $1. Primers, oil hamper and tested, $1. Budding knife, 
tS6e.; Hunting knife, $1. Catt'e ltnife, $t.; Sample (5-inch, hand forged, Butcher knife, postpaid, 60c Il.nstra- 
ed list Iree. Liberal discount to dealers. Aik our 1 oetuustor about us. 
hSIeTJBS E X C E L S10 R 
fei M Lawn Mower, 
JBKM' For Hand and Horse. 
ffljfcji... *A uiioquut MOWERS, $11.00. 
, v ; A# "M- -T? Hand Mowers, 3 Patterns, 10 to 20 inch 
cut. Horse Mowers, 25 to 40 inch cut. 
®Our MOWERS are LIGHT, SIMPLE and DURABLE 
? ’ AUour Mowers are C uaranteed. 
4 We Make no Second-Quality Mowers. 
■ ^ JMjfr! SEND FOB XLLUSTBXTEP CATALOGUE AMD FJUOB LIST. 
|H| CHAD BORN & COLDWELL MEG. CO. 
Newburgh N. Y. 
Simple and VfT/SitSiO 
Satisfactory. 
They #*ve largely from wear ami tear in every part 
Wagon. TSey remove al) itfceeuiUy for a hprtirg h* id. They 
uonvert a rul^nton Lumber Wa^on into a Kpring Wajjon» 
loakiuR It o.ually eo«u^iriAhlc1ur Iron) one t<» twenty perionse 
They are adtalmbly a«ii|>ted t*> the wmviU Ol Fiuit and Veg«* - 
table Grower* T bc*y are HUttni to all hi«k#*and »kc 6 ofFwin 
'Wagons, and cati b? ati*mrd ftuv ot>e. They- mwke tho 
chenpefft and riding Hp«ng Wapon in thu market- 
Thetfi bpriugft lur# becu In protdital Q>e f*»r ovrf four years, 
mid Are a j i •aotifieed fl»icoets. NoT<ain»trf or Fanner »*»«> 
afford to be without them. We want Agents everywhere. 
Send for description and prices, and mention this paper. 
SEMPLE & BIRGE MF”. CO., ST. LOUIS, MO. 
The Sedgwick Steel Wire Fence 
Is the only general purpose wire fence in wo. Being 
a btroug net-work without barbs, it will turn doge, 
pigs, poultry as well as tho uKMt vicious stock, with¬ 
out danger to either fence or stock. Jt is Juet tho 
fence for farmcv,. gardeners,stock-raisers, and rail¬ 
roads ; very drrirabtetor lawns, parks or cenielerlea. 
As itis covered with rustproof palut It wid hut. a Uto- 
tirne. Itis bUifrierto Istardsm every rcpect.nnfliar 
bettor thin barbed wire Ue a-k for tt a, f.dl 
knowing It will w eak lt«o'f into favor, rite Suia- 
wick GATT*, made of wrought iron pipe and G'aI 
.11 ill imnrimun. llu lltudBU. 
CHEAFEBT AJ^E jkuw Auroiuauc w ^ 
iso Gate. Ask hardware denlers, or for price list and 
par'ion tors address . 
Scdnwlck Bros., Kiclimoua, Iu«L_ 
A at lenco ami * 1 -: r zepr 
Weighs up to 25 Iha. Sells at if Up y < 
Domestic SCALJt Co.. CiacuuiAU, U. 
