»>;}y,vv*i' 
H.W. JOHN S’ PATENT. 
MAXIMS FROM BILLING8, 
True kritticlsm konsiBts in saying a kind thing 
ov an author whenever you kan, and whenever 
you leant it konslsts in bolding your tongue. 
Tricks upon travelers are alwayB dangerous. I 
hav known & ded hornet to wake up and sting 
just once more. Truth kan take kare of itself, 
but a lie has got to bo watched as kareful as a 
gore tbuin. Misery luvs company, but it is always 
jealous. There never waz a man yet but what 
thought hiz lame back, waz a good deal lamer 
than ennybody elao’s. Nature haz turned out 
sum indifferent jobs, but never turned out one 
so indifferent that art could dnplikate it. The 
soverigfcn mistake iB that things are valued for 
what they have cost, and not for what they are 
worth. Ingratitude iz wubs than hypokrasy. 
Mankind have been falling for over 5.000 years, 
and I don't think they have struck bottom yet. 
Tricing to interest a small audience with a komik 
lektur iz a great deal like trieing to hit the two 
corner pins on a ten pin alley with a single ball. 
My annual Catalogue of Vegetable find Flower Seed 
for 1877 will be ready l.y .lanuiiry.aod sent FREE to 
all who apply. Customers of last season need not 
write for ft. I offer one of the largest collections of 
vegetable seed ever sent out by any seed bouse In 
America.a large portion of which were grown on my 
sir seed farms. Printed direction* tor cultivation on- 
ci'cry packaoe. All seed sold from lay establishment 
wh iranted to be beta fresh uud true to name: so far. 
timi should It prove otherwise I Will refill the order 
gratis. As the orisln/iI Introducer ot Llie Hubbard 
and Marblehead Squashes, the .MurblebottdCubbageB, 
and a score of other new vegetables, I Invite the pat¬ 
ronage of all who are angioitt to hove thrir seed Jr f*h, 
true , and of the very best etrain. New Vrsfinblcs 
ft H. GREGORY, Marblehead, Mass. 
This is a combination of capitalists to supply the 
consumers of Teas throughout the United States on 
the mutual principle. „ 
We expect every consumer of Tens to render us all 
the assistance they can In carrying out our enter¬ 
prise, as we make a specialty of SUPPLYING CON¬ 
SUMERS ONLY, (and allow no middlemen to make 
any profit on our Importation*,! which will enable us 
to simply them with Teas at prices lower than have 
ever been known, and ot those tine qualities that 
seldom reach the Interior, being sold only in largo 
cities and among 
Prosperity engenders sloth. 
Not a miss: A pretty widow. 
8i.eioht-of-Hand : Refusing an “ offer.” 
A uen’s cackle is usually a “ lay sermon.” 
Pickpockets gather crowds to dis-purse them. 
Mv. x who are hard-up want to be let a-loan. 
A peanut dealer says business is at a stand¬ 
still. 
A strong minded woman will always he speaker 
of the house. 
Money is so tight that we actually believe it 
must wear corsets. 
If a man has a great many debts, are they very 
much to his credit ? 
Sweetness is no protection against injustice; 
even sugar can be crushed. 
Con. HappymAN lives in an Ontario village. 
From bis name we judge he belongs to the light 
heartillery. 
A certain army surgeon applied to the sani¬ 
tary commission for “ consecrated beef and 
desecrated vegetables.” 
Fishmonger to thrifty housewife. FiBli is 
dear, mum. Jilts a gettin', wery Bcarce in con- 
sekence o' these ’ere aquariums.” 
An imprudent adventurer having married an 
heiress, a wit remarked that the bridegroom’s 
brass outshone the bride’s tin. 
A white boy met a colored lad the other day 
and asked him what he had such a short nose 
for. “ I epeot’s so it won't poke itself into other 
people’s business." 
A tender-hearted lady of Texas, when pres¬ 
ent at a black bird shooting, asked, “ Why don’t 
they Bhoot the little birds on the ground so they 
won’t fall and hurt tluimsolw-H ?” 
A oirl who was ono of our lirst loves was one 
night lighting us out. after having a delightful 
evening. In bashful trepidation she blew us out 
aud drew the candle behind the door and kissed 
o very wealthy. 
SENJO FOR PRICE 1.1 ST. 
CONSUMERS IMPORTING TEA CO, 
No. 8 Church Street, 
P. O. Box 5509. NEW YORK CITY 
AT THE PARIC. 
-“I’ve often wondered how the Hippopotamus could walk!” 
How those Giraffes can maintain their perpendicular, I could never make 
IMPERIAL ECC FOOD! 
TRADE MARK. 
Slender Party 
.Stout Party.— 
Can obtain our Monthly 
WHOLESALE LISTS 
FREE ON APPLICATION. 
All who have a Garden ahonld send 
for my Illust rated Catalogue, descrip¬ 
tive of the latest Novelties und choic¬ 
est Varieties of Vegetable, Field, and 
Flower Seeds. Free to all on receipt 
of postage-stamp. 
WM. H. CARSON, 
SEEDSMAN, 
1133 CHsiiiibers St., 1ST. Y., 
{Late of Peter Henderson. cfc Co.) 
Seedsmen, 35 Cortlandt St,, New York. 
TEAS and COFFEES 
AT WHOLESALE PRICES 
In Lot* to Suit Customers. 
SPECIAL TERMS TO CLUB ORGANIZERS 
and those who Unvote whole or part of time 
in selling our good*. 
SEND FOR NEW PRICE-LIST. 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA COMP’Y, 
(P. O. Box 5W8.) 31 and 88 Vosey St.. New York. 
Asbestos Hondair, with white Fire Proof Coating, 
for steep or flat Hoof sin til I climates. 
H oof Coating, for restoring *»d preserving Roofs. 
Cement, for repairing I-euky Roof*. 
Roof Paint, for TinTtoofe, Ironwork, ka. 
A sheet on Point*— all colora-ruady for use. 
Fire Proof touting, for Wood work. Ac. 
Asbestos St on in Pipe, and Boiler < oveilngs. 
Aabestoa 1st OR in Pitching. flat At round, all sizes. 
Sheathing Kelt*, Verunn Proof Lining, Ac, 
'These articles are ready for ups, and cun be easily 
applied by any one. Send for Pamphlet*, Price-Lists, 
A- c, 
H. W. JOHNS, 87 Maiden Lane, N. Y. 
Patentee and Manufacturer. Established 1868. 
ALSO FOR SALE BY 
DOWNIE TKA IN Ell <fc CO , Boston, Mass 
W. J- GLOVER. Providence. K. 1 
g. W. UEMSTBil d CO., Columbus, O. 
T. S. A A. J. KIRKWOOD. Chicago, III. 
M. M. BUCK ,C CO . St, Louis,Mu. 
il. DUDLEY COLEMAN A llltO., New Orleans, La. 
J. M. THOMPSON & CO., Sun Kranclseo, Cal. 
Try THE CORTLAND PLATFORM SPRING WACON 
BELL TREBLE PIANOS 
O otqru day *urt* made by Agent* Helling our 
£ */h Chromes. Crayons, Picture fc Cliiumo 
. . I ard*. 1*25 *aiupl«». wort h *.1, sent, 
stmid for NS Cents. Illustrated CaUihigoe free. 
H. liUKS'ORD'S HONS. BOSTON- Kstub d lo-k). 
Centennial Illustrated Description, Terms, 
&c., Mailed Free. 
He was carving at dinner, and thonght ho must 
talk to the instketioal looking angel on his right. 1 
“How do you like Beethoven?” said he at a : 
venture. “Well cooked,” said she. interested 
in tho business at hand. 
A very good pun can be made unconsciously, 
as when the shoolmaster asked the class what 
Shy lock meant when he Baid, “My deeds upon 
my head.’’ “Well,” said one of the boys, “I 
don’t know, unless he carried his papers in his 
hat.” 
Henry TV., at the surrender of Char ties, re¬ 
ceived a deputation at tho gates. The spokes¬ 
man said, ‘ ‘ Sire, tho city submits to your Majesty 
as much by divine as by Roman law." He re¬ 
plied, “You may as well add, by canon law, 
too.” 
Heine said of one of his acquaintances, “ The- 
man is really cracked; but I will confess that ho 
has lucid intervals when he is only foolish.” 
This was tho same person whom Heine had in 
his mind when ho said to a caller, " My head to¬ 
day is perfectly barren, and you will Had me 
stupid enough ; for a friend has been here, und 
wo exchanged ideas.” 
TnK old husband was taken Bick, and was be¬ 
lieved near bis end. The old Bpouse came to bis 
bedside, and after carefully examining his con¬ 
dition, exclaimed: “Wy, daddy, your feet are 
cold, and your hands are cold, and your noBe is 
cold!” “ Wa’al, let urn be cold 1” “ Wy, daddy, 
voa'ro going to die !” “ Wa’al, I guess I know 
wot I'm’bout!" “ Wy, daddy, wot’a to becurn 
of me if you die ?” “ I dunno, and don’t care! 
Wat I want to know is, wat’s to becuna of me ? 
■uldrew tor Clrculvr* ft! C»,l/i P«tf*t AMgli 
BRADLEY Mt'il CQ„ bynuum, N. Y, 
iLEASE tosnd your 
Ktustfe, Ac,, to 
oil rntCULAR of Agricultural Imple- 
u AiuimriuEW A Co.. Ml m, Cleveiand.O 
IND TO JAMES liRAYLEY, Burrzoo, N.Y„ for D..orlptlv. 
Prk« Llat or liuffido Pitts Thresher. uud Horse Power*. 
IICTLA R "f the best Palut In 
BLEU PAINT CO., Cleveland,O. 
END FOR C 
) the world t" K 
NEW FORCE' FEED 
BUCKEYE GRAIN DRILL, 
with Fertilizer Attachment. 
Warranted 7 Yean. 
MACKIE & CO. Rochester, N. Y, 
NEW AGRICULTURAL 
STEAM ENGINES 
• From International Centennial 
EXPOSITION, 
Wrfe. T ° WS P1 u l B lphla B I‘a BB0 ” 
fill PremiumFurtuGrlstMUl 
UR] —tlie grinding parts are 
now made of BTKKL. giving 
four time* the durability over cast iron,—grinds rap¬ 
idly, and Is adapted to all kinds ot Horse Powers, 
nil Union Railway llorse Power, requiring very 
U B1 little elevation, und producing great power. 
AH Broom Machinery, for making Corn Brooms. 
UH Bend tor Descriptive, Oircaan. 
More effective and more complete, and more read¬ 
ily adapted to the various agricultural uses than any 
other iu the market. Practi eul improvements accu 
mutated from twenty year?’ manufacturing experi¬ 
ence, with reputation maintained, aud success estab- 
u ^end for Circulars, descriptive, and containing 
It Beat* 
them 
all. 
Motive's Rural New-Yorker is one of the read¬ 
able, useful, family papers, equally in demand by 
the lady In her cunseryatory, the matron with her 
household, the farmer in his held, the stocs raiser 
among his animals, ar.d the young folks around th 
evening lamp.—Law* of Lift. 
The Best Paper, and the Best Premiums to 
Agents, is our motto. We Ignore Chromos and all 
other cheap colored pictures, preferring to put our 
money in tht paper and in Premiums to Agents, 
