FRITZ’S TROUBLES 
Fritz has had more trouble with his neighbor. 
This time he determined to appeal to the majesty 
of the law, and accordingly consulted a leading 
gentleman. 
“How vas dose tings?” he said. “Veil, a 
vallare's got a garden, und der odder vallare’s 
got Borne shickens eat ’em up. Don’t you got 
some law for dot ?” 
“ Some one’s chickens have been destroying 
your garden ?” asked the lawyer. 
“ Straw in mine garden ? Nein, it vas vege¬ 
tables.” 
“ And the chickens committed depredations on 
them ?" 
“ Ish dot so ?" asked Fritz in astonishment. 
“And you want to sue him for damages," 
continued the lawyer. 
“ Yaas. Gott for tamages, und der gabbages, 
und der lettuges ?” 
“ Did you notify him to keep his chickens off ?’’ 
“Ya&H. I did nodifyhim.” 
“ And what did ho say ?" 
“ He nodify mo to go to haal, imd wipe mine 
shin off down mino vest.” 
“And ho refused to comply with your just 
demand ?” 
“Hey ?" 4 
1 • He allowed his chickens to run at large ?” 
“ Yaas. Some vas largo und some vas leedle 
vollares, but doy bos scratch mine garden more 
as der Befen dimes idch." 
“ Well, you wautto sue him ?" 
“ Yaas, 1 vaut to sue him to make von blank 
OOW»»hUurton St, 
FAVORITE 
SelfVi’k’g Press 916 
Proisc* from *3 to $125. 
Office complete #.5 Mcmlltc 
mr'TS bookof PTVIKSj 
Type, Cut*, fee., illiiirratcil 
Wilh inutr.ictioni, worth jjjl, 
flORIIAM CO. 
«OSTOJV, MASS. 
“ Ctesar,” “ Delphian,” “ Empire,” or “ Sardan- 
apalus," he feels a sense of importance about 
the throat, and when lie takes his turn at baking 
the buckwheat cakea and gives the griddle an 
extra grease, trains of classical thought blind 
him to earthly things. It is in Buch swelling 
moments that a man feels like a grown-up gro¬ 
cery storo with a tar sidewalk. 
A writer, in the Boston Journal of Chemistry, 
says that closets in the house are a great nui¬ 
sance. From which it may ho inferred that the 
writer aforesaid is an old bachelor, has only one 
suit of clothes, and is compelled to lio in bed 
when his shirt is washed. Should he ever get 
a wife, and see a frock on one chair, and her peti- 
wlmt-you-may-call-it on another, and other fem¬ 
inine fixings on the tables, sofaB, beds, and other 
am 
it anil lumor. 
EW- YORKER. 
J.MTH0RBURN&C0S 
I SEED WAREHOUSE I 
IS JOHN ST, NEW-YORK. 
SEEDS • -IrJ s'- B U LBS. SEED S• 
NEW PRICED DESCRIPTIVE CATALOGUES h 
— OF— 7 
Vegetable & Agricultural Seeds i 
aiso Ja 
NEW FLOWER SEED CATALOGUE ^ 
For 1877, 
READY FOR MAILING. FREE TO ALL APPLICANTS, f 
ESTABLISHED 1853. 
AGRICULTURAL INSURANCE CO., 
Or WATERTOWN, N. Y. 
Insures only Farm Property and Private Residences. 
Capital. 9200,000 00 
surplus. 850.022 76 
8et Assets, Jail 1, 1877. 1,050,622 76 
Net 8urplu» «ver Cupitnl and 
Reserve. 180,315 *3 
Total Am’t paid by this Com¬ 
pany tor Losses . 2,• 89 . 01 2 69 
John C. Cooper. Pres’t. Isaac Mi nson, Sec’y. 
J. A. Shkkman. V. Pres. H.M.Stevk.ns Ass’tSec. 
Hiram Dewet, General Ager-t. 
■MB A |M NOTICE. W» h»TO the 
eft, B and bo»t ,*111114 
H tffja Pw. HM Stinioncrv P*t'kng«i n tho 
I % World. It contain, 13 
■ m l |,Mta of tmpor, |Q onvoT- 
opes .pencil, punRnldMr. enldvin pen .slid it piece ufiuliwtilo 
Jewelry. Complete mmfilit peck,4,1. with elegant gold-plated 
alcove button*, end )edlc,' fat hiiinatdv fancy Set, pin and 
drop,, post-paid, 2 5 cunt,. 5 pai'Yawia with aavorted Jew¬ 
elry , $ I. *>M(I OoTi Valent Lerw Watch free to all agent* 
_ BRIDE Sl CO., 709 Brondway, N, Y. 
TWELVE 
articles In ono. The LLOYD COR til s aTIOV. Cnn bo used 
as a Pencil. Penholder end Puri, El nwr. Penknife Knvelnpo 
opener, I apei ciitinr Rubber, Sewing Machine Thread 
t utter, and for ltioiilng Sesnu. Cuttiii* off (looks and Eye*. 
Buttons, Krasin;. It lots. Ac. Size of a lYumnon pencil. Is 
heavily nickel plated, and will laat a lifetime. Agent* aro 
coining nioney and say lr Is the bet mdiw unlc c ont. 
Numplo 25 renu,MIX U,r J I , Kvir-ordinarv lu.lm ements 
Agent* Suiia for rh tuple )mlf-tlor<«t> tinU canvuns your 
town BRIDE A CO„ 760 Broadway, N. Y. 
8T*Tl(TKl:HY PACK AUKS, and SIX ol 
^lv ■ W the LLOYli COMBINATION for TWO 
3IA ^^76f}'^im’adwmy^ NevtpYork. 
RURAL CLUB LIST. 
THE RURAL AND OTHER PAPERS AT LOW RATES 
fence up sixdeen feud his house all around!., vot 
der dam shickens don’d got ofer.” 
The lawyer informed him that he could not 
compel him to build such a fence, and Fritz left 
in a rage, exclaiming: 
“ Next summer time I raise me shickens too, 
you bate! I raise fidin shickens, by tarn! Vipe 
off your vest down!" 
- — - 
SPARKS AND SPLINTERS. 
Chemists have discovered that a purp yell 
color can bo made from the bark of dogwood. 
The pensive mule is not usually regarded as 
susceptible to pathetic emotions. And yet he 
occasionally drops a mule-toer. 
“ IIe s filling his last cavity, mournfully said a 
youug dentist, as they lowered the coffin of his 
deceased partner into the grave. 
First Citizen —“ And you, too, are for a war ?” 
Second Cit.—“ Not a bit of it. My brave sub¬ 
stitute suffered too much in the last one." 
Shoe-dealer : “I fiud wo have no No. 12 
shoes; hut hero is a pair of largo 9s." Cus¬ 
tomer: “Nines! Do you take mo for Cin- 
deriller ?” 
A locomotive engineer, who had just ben dis¬ 
charged for some cause, gave vent to his spite 
by saving that it was about time be left the com¬ 
pany anyhow, for the Bake of Lis life, for “there 
was nothing left of the track bet two streaks of 
rust and the right of way." 
A pedagogue told one of his scholars, a son of 
the Emerald Isle, to spell hostility. “ H-o-r-s-o 
horse,” began Pat. “Not horse tility," said the 
teacher, “ but hostility." “ Sure,” replied Pat, 
“ an didn't ye tell mo the other day, not to say 
boss ? Be jafcers, it's one thing wid ye one day, 
and another the nixt." 
While a youug lady at a recent evening party 
was talking about the “psychological significance 
of dress," and maintaining that a person’s char¬ 
acter could to a considerable extent bo inferred 
from his attire, a foppish young Englishman, 
wearing a blue coat and brass buttons, inquired 
with a supercilious air, what that kind of coat 
indicated, to which the youug lady instautly re¬ 
sponded : “The Lino is indicative of the wearer’s 
feeling’s; tho brass, of his manners.” 
The influence of great and classical names still 
prevails, As a man puts on a paper collar in 
the morning and Bees on it tho word “ Romulus,” 
jV JOKE. 
POUR 
Grand Prize Medals 
AWARDED OUR EXHIBIT AT 
THE CENTENNIAL ! 
WARE and BKAIiTTFUL FLOWERS 
und CHOICE VEGETABLES 
CAN ALWAYS BE OBTAINED BY SOWING 
B. K. BLISS & SONS, 
Importers, Growers and Dealers in 
GARDEN, FIELD ami FLOWER SEEDS*, 
SMALL FRUITS, AGRICULTURAL 
and HORTICULTURAL IMPLE¬ 
MENTS, FERTILIZERS, 
and other Requisites lor tlie Farm and 
Garden. 
The following Catuloiruen ure nnminl I v published, 
and will be mailed to all applicant* Upon receipt ol 
price affixed. Regular customers supplied gratis. 
Illl-a'a 11 IiinI rn ted Seed Cuiiih ruu and 
A ■iiaieur’H Guide to the Flower nil«! 14 iit beu 
Garden.—201 pupes, includingseveral hnnnred fine- 
ly exeomed erurritvlnirsnrHl a beaolifully-colored 
lillinginiili, 35cem«. An edition elegantly bound 
in cloth, £1, 
Hlios’N Illustrated Gardener's Almanac 
and Abridged Catalogue, lkn puses. Embrace* 
a monthly calendar t ,1 operations, und ;< price list of 
all the leii'dmi Garden. Field A Flower Seeds, 
profusely illustrated, W ith brief directions for tbclr 
culture, invents. 
Bliss’s liluslrated Potato Fainlogue con¬ 
tain* a Descriptive l.ist <«t nil the new varieties ru- 
cenllv Introduced, wltn many other desirable sorts, 
beautifully Illustrated; also much useful informa¬ 
tion upon the cultivation of this valuable esculent. 
1II cents. Address 
B. 1C. BX.X3S & SONS, 
34 Harclar St., NEW YORK. 
P. 0. Box JYb. 67i2. 
TRY the CORTLAND PLATFORM SPRING WAGON. 
Imitation Gold Watches 
* 15 . J 20 an ' 1 825 each. Chains 
S') to $12 .to match. Jewelry o line same. 
Sent C. O. !>.. by Kxpre**. Send stamp for 
UluniiatedCircular CoLEing Metal. Watch 
Factory, 3Ji ilroadwuy, Ne» York, llox sebb 
BELL TREBLE PIANOS. 
Centennial Illustrated Description) Terms, 
&c., Mailed Free, 
Fine Teas six 
This is a combination of capitalist* to supply the 
conaumeru <»! feu, tnrongUout tee United States on 
the mutual principle. 
We expect every consumer of Ttwi* to render us all 
the usslatunce they euu la currying out our enter¬ 
prise, as WO runhC* a specialty or l*Ut*FLYlNG Ot)N- 
SUAIKHS ONLY, (and allow no middlemen to make 
any profit on our importation*, j which will enable us 
to simply tlte.m wlcb Teas at prloes lower Uian have 
ever beou known, and or these fine qualities that 
seldom reach the interior, hcinir sold only in larpe 
cities and moo up tho very weultuy. 
SBXI) FOB PRICE LIST. 
CONSUMERS IMPORTING TEA €0. 
No. 8 Church Street, 
P. O. Box S509. NEW YORK CITY. 
GORHAM’S , 
Rllc^r Plated Linen ' 
Marker, with case of 
lype, for markiii|f Linen, 
Carcld, Knvelope» t &c. Put 
up and sent JPjKJKR bv 
mail for $1.10. 
OHO 
DCU 
rjma 
QITV 
IIS 
CP 
£N3 
■2° - s = a - V 
zyja «lafl ’ 
OOYOtlf 
»a uauawij w* AUAAAaouau, «W ” *AA pyuu UUUUiUUD LUO, L 
it is much more convenient, if not more healthy, 
to have a house four-fifths closets. 
Warranted 7 Year*. 
MACKIE & CO. Rochester, N. Y. 
S EN D TO J AMES RRAYLEV, Buffalo, N. Y., for D«*cr!pliv, 
Trie, Llat of buffalo Fill* Threaten aud Horae Poweia. 
DENIt FOR C1RCULA ff of tho host Faint in 
KJ the world to itlJBBEIt FAINT CO., Cleveland, O. 
P LEASE feud your uddrefta fur Circular* of Cady', Patent Sleigh 
Knere, &c„ to UHAULKY MF’O CO„ Synu ua,, N. V. 
CEND FOR CIRUI.'LAR of Agricultural Irople- 
KJ mentsto AliB-n, BREW A CO., Mfrs, ClLVelaud.O 
TEAS and COFFEES 
AT WHOLESALE PRICES 
In Lota to Suit Customers. 
SPECIAL TERMS TO CLUB ORGANIZERS 
and those who devote whole or part of time 
in selliuR our Roods. 
8 END FOB NEW FltlCK-LIST. 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA GOMP’Y, 
(P. O. Box 5GA3.) 31 and 33 Yeaey St., New York. 
$(P o$0C" ‘lay sure made by Agents selling our 
I U ^ L 0 Cbromos. Crayons. Picture & Chromo 
■ ■ — 'Cards. 125 sample*, worth 85, »ent, 
postpaid, for 85 Cents. Illustrated Catalogue free. 
J. II. BUFFOltD’S SONS, BOSTON. Eslab’d 1830. 
Moore's Rdkad new-Yohkek.—W ith iu full 
corps of editors, and a Dew publisher Of energy and 
ability, the management propose to celebrate the 
quurLer-ccntennial of the pioneer Udkal in such a 
manner as to augment its popularity and usefulness. 
For a Urst-class, liro’y paper, containing matter of 
interest for all classes, take the Iil’kal Nkw-Y0BK- 
kr, and do so at onee, for tho paper never was bet¬ 
ter, and its prospects never brighter .—Ftexport (IU.) 
Journal. 
The periodicals in UiIb list are offered at a large 
reduction from their rates, with a view to accomo¬ 
dating our friends who wish to subscribe for 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER 
in conjunction with any ether paper herein named, 
TO OBTAIN ANY JOURNAL 
in this list, and the Rcral, it is only necessary to 
send your address in fuel, and the money with the 
order, when they will be sent, postage prepaid. 
Subscriptions may begin at any time. 
SAMPLE COPIES 
of the Rural only will be sent on application. For 
copies of other publications address the publisher of 
the paper wanted. 
You can remit by Draft, P. O. Money Order, or 
Registered Letter, at our rltk; otherwise at your 
own. If there is no Agent for the RURAL in your 
locality, please become om: by FORMING A CLrB. It 
will pay 
Now please note that we will furnish the Rural 
New-Yorker one year and either of the periodicals 
named below, postage prepaid, on receipt ot the 
price specified: 
Monthly Magazines. 
Arthur's Home Mag&rine.S3 15 
•Deraorest’* Fashion Magazine. 5 r& 
Harper's Monthly. C B5 
Peterson’s Ladies' Magazine. i K5 
Scribner's Monthly . fi G5 
Science of Health.,.. . i Cf 
St. Nicholas. 5 05 
Weeklies [Literary] 
Appleton’s Journal. . fi C5 
Danbury News... . 4 To 
FlreBtde Companion— . 5 05 
Frank Leslie’s Roys and Girls. 5 15 
•* " Lady's Journal. 0 65 
Harper’s Weekly. fi 05 
Uitzitr... fi 05 
♦Hearth and Hume. 5 16 
Waverly Magazine. 7 65 
Religious.] 
Independent. 5 85 
Illustrated Christian Weekly. 5 15 
Methodist. 5 6a 
Presbyterian..6 30 
Presbyterian (John Knox Engraving).. 5 90 
The Advance. 5 05 
Watchmanuud Uefiector.... 5 85 
[Miscellaneous.] 
New York Witness. 4 15 
** “ Sun. 3 85 
** “ Evening Post. 4 15 
“ " Tribune. 4 05 
•» ” Nation. 7 85 
Chicago Times. . . 4 05 
“ Inter-Ocean..,... 4 :.0 
Cincinnati Commercial. 4 80 
“ Knqulrier. 4 05 
** Gazette. 4 65 
“ Times and Hand-Book.4 ''j 
Detroit Free Press...... 4 05 
” Tribune. 4 65 
•Louisville Courier-Journal. 4 05 
Springfield Republican. 4 05 
St. Louis Times. 4 15 
Seie'ititlc Amerieun.... f> 85 
The Industrial Record—Monthly.1 50 
Toledo Blade.. 4 05 
Toronto Globe.-.4 05 
The papers marked with a *elve to each subscriber 
as followsD kmokkst's, a choice of two Obrnmo . 
" The Captive Child" or “ The Old Oaken Bucket;” 
Hkarth and Home oilers 12 Etchings; the Couit- 
ikk-Jouunal gives a coupon for lheir Distribution 
of presents 
Address 
RURAL PUBLISHING CO., 
78 Duane Street, New York City. 
