•/ V, 
, , ■! s -.: vv*-. 
tF.ND TO JAMES IiRa Y l.F. V, KoJmo, N. V., for Daacrtptlvi 
^ Price Lilt of Buffalo Pitta Thre.lien. nutl Horse Powcie 
DF.ND FOIf t.'IlfCUL.A.Rof Agricultural Imple- 
(3 meutst.i AuBu'i“r, BRKW & Co., Mfi tt, Cleveland,O 
uxnio II 
CouoorJ*, 
MOP 
HEAD 
THE 
®it anil ijumor. 
THE BOSS EAT KILLEE. 
A tall mau with a nose like a muffin went into 
a Main street boardiug-house, one day last week, 
and asked for a dinner. 
“Owing to the general depression of business 
and consequent scarcity of the rhino,” said the 
proprietor, looking the tall num over, “ a dinner 
will coat you thirty-live cents, in advance.” 
“I have nothing wilh me but a check on a 
Boston bank,” observed the tall man. 
"Checks on Boston banks ain’t worth a cop¬ 
per,” remarked the landlord; "I guess you’ll 
have to dine more sumptuously elsewhere.” 
“Can’t 1 do something for my dinner?” asked 
the tall man as a hungry pang gripped him. 
“You can pay," said the proprietor impres¬ 
sively. 
“You give mo my dinner,” said the tall man, 
“ and I’ll agree to clean your house of every rat 
in it. I have performed the feat in many hotels 
throughout the country, with most satisfactory 
results.” 
The proprietor accepted the bargain aB a most 
advantageous one to himself, and the tall man 
seated himself at the table, where be did fearful 
execution among the victuals. He finished his 
dinner in half an hour, picked his teeth with a 
fork, called for a cigar and proceeded to enjoy 
it. 
“Now then,” said the proprietor, when the 
tall man had finished his smoke, “let’s get to 
business. Co for the rats.” 
“Ah, yes,” returned the tall man; “with 
pleasure. Procure me a light iron bar, about 
four feet in length and I will proceed to busi¬ 
ness.” 
The bar of irou was produced, and the loafers 
gathered around to witness the interesting pro¬ 
ceedings. 
“ Now begin.’ .said the proprietor. “ Where’ll 
you commence first ?” 
“ Eight here,” replied the tall man, as he 
carefully rolled back his cuffs, spit on his hands, 
and grasped the iron bar firmly, while the pro¬ 
prietor stood by, with great anxiety depicted on 
his countenance. 
“Now,” said the tall man, impressively, as he 
slowly elevated the bar, “areyou all ready ?’’ 
“ All ready,” returned the proprietor excited¬ 
ly- 
“Then,” said the tali man, “bring on your 
rats.” 
For the space of five minutes the excitement 
of an entire Presidential election filled the room. 
When it subsided the tall man was nowhere to 
be seen, and the proprietor was standing before 
a glass, tying an oyster over his left eye. The 
rats still revel in their nntive freedom. 
BPARK8 AND SPLINTERS, 
A home-kulkk A man's wife. 
Young mau, court not suffering. You can put 
in your time to much better advantage in court¬ 
ing some nice young woman. 
“ Why should we celebrate Washington’s birth¬ 
day more than mine?" asked a teacher. “Be¬ 
cause he never told a lie," shouted a little boy. 
Jennie (looking iu a milliner’s window), 
“ Don’t you think they are very pretty ?" Lizzie 
(whose thoughts are on the other side of the 
street)—“ Very, especially the one with the long, 
black side-whiskera.” 
“ Comparisons are odious.” The Major (rock¬ 
ing Nelly on his knee, for Aunt Mary’s sake), 
“ I suppose this is what you like, Nolly ?” Nelly, 
“Yes, it’s very nice. But 1 rode on a real don¬ 
key yesterday. I mean one with four legs, you 
know.” 
Young lady—“It was a stylish dinner!” 
Learned Uncle—“Stylish! are you using the 
word correctly ? Do you know the derivation of 
stylish ?" 
Yonng lady—“ Certainly, from sty, a pig-pen, 
and lish. the noise made by the ho- animals 
when eating.” Learned Uncle in despair. 
When a man has made a slip at the top of a 
flight of stairs, and is carefully marking every 
hump with an exclamation, as he slides down to 
the hall below, it. is no time to ask his opinion 
about the Louisiana Returning Board. He car es 
nothing what the end of national affairs may be, 
so long as his soul is filled with anxiety lest his 
own end shall be marked by contusions. 
This from that most aristocratic of all English 
serials, the London Court-Journal: By an order 
of the Louis of the Admiralty, the Admiral 
Superintendent of the Dovouport Dockyard has 
formally and severely reprimanded an engineer 
student lor replying to the examiner in a face¬ 
tious manner. The student, when asked, “ How 
would you proceed to get up steam ?’’ answered, 
“Tighten your funnel-stays and regulate your 
funnel-draught, then look up to our Father and 
say, ‘ I am ready to go home if the boiler front 
comes out . 1 ■' 
DEALER IN 
HUTTEB, DRIED FRUITS, WOOL,, CHEESE, 
POTATOES, TOBACCO, EGGS, ONIONS, 
ORANGES, HOPS, APPLES, PEANUTS. 
4r05 GREENWICH STREET, 
IVEW YORK CITY. 
A VALUABLE PREMIUM GIFT, 
TO EVERY PATRON OF THIS PAPER! 
^ Cut out Hit* Coupon^ tinH *tntl it to the Stuart Importing' Co. for lletltmption. 
JJ 
t- PREMIUM I'fillPfiV _Ou receipt of this Coupon, together with Fifty Cents to 
C i urjitiiiiti I'VUlUtl. pay for Express or Mailing charges, we will send, FREE, 
<D an elegant 
O RUSSIAN LEATHER POCKET-BOOK, 
O Wlth any Initial letter desired, neatly stamped In Gold and with Patent Clasp. (Retail 
price $1.50.) This Coupon Is good only ninety days from the date of this paper. 
If) Signed, STUART IMPORTING CO., 569 Broadway, New York. 
NOTICE.—This Coupon will not appear attain In this Paper. 
It I* *n rst-u.u*!u.l fi’t nn./ti* tmer mini* Urn Mu- jmil muO c itm» . in (tilt K» 
l-aIIcj, tin* latko hiiuttt, t» capcoiell? to Ibe probation «)f viue- 
Min* «ir# yt own to gjjch ground,fn6u» ouUihii* w»tr*Dl«J ini*urjantsed uu<l t up u. 
100. No. \. 1 uMH (V(4w»*n*, fU J-.-r I.CaXJ, fcl per ll>', No 1. 1 
per LO0D.ii I"*f Hot And fitpSsrrV ri»n;i* eh'Ao, 
>, D. lUTTUUSON, Commission Merchant, Uuffato, V. 
The Rectangular Chum 
and Butter Worker. 
Simple, efficient and always 
: H reliable. No inside fixtures. 
[A _Fifty net cent, in labor saved 
h over any other churn 5 sixes 
^ 41 made. Endorsed liy leading 
Hi Agents wunted where we 
' — I B have none. Send for Ctrcu- 
—HVJ lars. CORNISH At CURTIS, 
■ ii ■ Fort Atkinson. Wia. 
POWER 
P3 =*3 
pr< =>= 
02 fer= 
LANCASHIRE AND BULGARIA, 
Lancashire Artisan. —Look-e 'ere, Wench, if thee dostn’t want Taste of these ’ere on 
t’Nut, jist thee get my Steak and Inions and Quart o’ Mild ready agin I come back from 
.Trocity Meetin’. 
E ggs for match ing-from imported 
STUCK.—Light Brahma, Dark Brahma, Ayles¬ 
bury Duck. SC Jot.; 2 do?., $3. Mammoth Bronze 
Turkeys, $8.50 do*. Send for Catalogue. W. S. CAR¬ 
PENTER & SON. Rye. Westchester Co., N. Y. 
FINE POULTRY. 
White Leghorn Cockerels and Silver Gray Dor¬ 
kings of flue stock, for sale 
HENKY HALES, Ridgewood, N. J. 
Pocket Coin Detector. 
of a bllviir «lolJftf. With it nod a pen-knife you 
can text nuy coin accurately. Pilce 25 cents by mall. 
Liberal dhoounis to Aeent*. 
,1. W. SUTTON, 95 Liberty St. 9 New York. 
ESTABLISHED 1853. 
AGRICULTURAL INSURANCE CO., 
OF WATERTOWN, NT. Y. 
Insures only Farm Property and Private Residences. 
Capital. SyOO.OOO 00 
»urplu* . 76 
Net At nets. J n ii 1,1877.1,030,OTA 76 
Net Sui piu, orer Capital and 
Reserve 180,315 03 
Total Ain't pnt.l by this (Jam- 
puny lor Losses.‘J,089.01'A 69 
John c. Cooper, Pro. t. Isaac Munson, See’y. 
J. A. 8HJCHMAN, V . Pres. II. M. STEVENS, Ass’t SeC. 
Hiram Dewey, General Agent. 
Rl IIP R I ACC AND IT* WONDERS, with 
DLUC ULAOOij in u st ratio ns. By SAM C. 
UPHAM ; just published. Mailed to any address for 
10c. Trade supplied. S. C'. Upham, 258.atuSt.,Phila. 
ARE YOU GOING TO PAINT? 
Use none but that which experience has proved to be tbe best. The Avekill Paint, Mixed 
Ready for ose, received the highest award at the Centennial Exhibition for beauty, durability 
and Economy. Send for Sample Card and testimonials (furnished free), to the 
AVERILL CHEMICAL PAINT CO., 32 Burling Slip, N. Y. 
FELLUCIDITE FOR COATING HARD WOODS. 
CHARLES C. PRATT, 
GENERAL PRODUCE COMMISSION MERCHANT. 
KING 
BRADLEY'S REVERSIBLE 
HARROW. 
Two Harrow. In One, 
And sold at the price of one. 
A PERFECT SMOOTHING HARROW, 
Combined with a vertical or 
atraight tooth. 
Every farmersayautsight: “It 
is just the thing, min we cannot 
ailord to do without it." 
BRADLEY MF G CO., 
Syracuse, N. Y , and Chicago, 111. 
Send for nic9Uated Circular. 
„ , _ __I ailord to do without it.” 
UADimWCI BRADLEY MF G CO., 
HAfi K U W o hcfy^jdaffasaairy - 
Cheese Factory Steam Engines, 
MlI.l.AK'K 
New Upright Gang Cheese Press, 
and many other improvement* In cheese and Butter- 
making Utuualls. Send for 15T7 Circular and low 
prices for Blindage. Rennet*, Aiinatto. Ac. 
CHARLES MILLAR A SON. Utica, N. Y. 
CHOICE FLOWER SEED. 
I pkt. 10 cts.: 3 pitta, 2u Ota,: the 0 for ;iO ot-8.—Mixed 
PariHie9, Balsams, Double Ho’.lyhocks, Tull Asters, 
Phlox and Verbenas. Kuch pkt. contains the most 
desirable kinds and colots of each variety, and ate a 
choice collect ion and will please you. I have no 
separate colors, but have mixed the best of each va¬ 
riety together for the benefit of those wlio buy of n e. 
Address L. 1). SNOOK- Barrington, YhtcaCo,, N. Y. 
NEW DEPARTURE. IS^hSKB 
ui'*u w».t«r Sl.d’I.H (iOOu.v NO PK DOLING 
Salary SIS a month lb.tel and traveling -siranses paid. 
S. fiHANT tg CO..maonfaclntvrs f-r UN VKLOPES 
and PaI'KU, J. t, c ami » Home St., CisciaxaTi. Ohio. 
li I fl o « day sure made by Agents selling our 
I U H L D Chromoa. Crayons. Picture & Chromo 
— ■ ■ i ■ Cards. 1‘25 samples, worth 63. sent, 
postpaid, for S3 Con ts. Illustrated Catalogue free. 
J. H. BUKKOUU'S SONS, BOSTON. Kstab’d 1830. 
QKND FOR CIKCLLA K . t the best Paint in 
O the world to BOBBER PAINT CO., Cleveland, O. 
The Rural New- io kiosk now comes to us 
with sixteen clean; ueatly-printed pambel-ges, e 
lished with fine illustrations, and full of scien¬ 
tific and practical Agriculture and Literature. 
For the agriculturist and the family circle it is 
I au indispensable weekly visitor. Its Editor-in- 
Cliief is the celebrated Horticulturist, A. 8. 
Fuller, associated with whom are E. S. Carman 
and X. A. Willard, while, as special contributors, 
they are assisted by such men as William Robin- 
sou, Charles Downing, Charles Y. Riley, Thomas 
Meehan, James Vick and many others of equal 
eminence in their respective scientific and prac¬ 
tical specialties. It keepB its moral tone to that 
high standard which fits it for any family in the 
land. The mother can rely npon it to furnish 
household recipes for daily use, pleasant stories 
for leisure reading, and excellent moral enter¬ 
tainment for the children. The father may con¬ 
fidently look for the latest experiments and dis¬ 
coveries in his daily avocatious, accompanied by 
good advice and carefully-revised markets, em¬ 
bracing nearly every product for sale .—Hartford 
Times. 
It la a mistake to suppose that any depart¬ 
ment of a paper may be slighted. The most im¬ 
portant Information Is to be found, at times, under 
the guise oi an advertisement; and it Is agreeable 
to the advertiser and a courtesy to the publisher 
to mention the source of your information—In 
other words, to mention the paper. 
rnv* m This Is a combination of 
* a ' /m W capitalists to bupply ccti- 
m A /”%. k. siuiws vulu throughout 
the United Slates with 
PURE TEA8 on the 
mutual principle, by getting up clubs. Send for 
New Price-List. 
CONSUMERS IMPORTING TEA CO., 
P. O. Box 5509. No. 8 Church St.. New York City. 
n Imitation Gold Watches 
K $1S. t2<) enr* $25 each. Chains 
$lS,lo UiStoh. J.weliT- o Rbe saiu«. 
S.nt C, 0. D.. by kipre.s. Stud stamp for 
/ jejtWk? . -JUts liiustraiedClroaiar Ooujif: f iriL ffiicK 
IacTOBY,8J5 Broadway, New York. Box Stkfl 
NEW TERMS! 
TEAS AND COFFEES AT WHOLESALE PRICES. 
BEST TERMS EVER UFFEBEIITO CLUB 
ORGAN!/. Kit*. 
SEND FOR NEW PB1CE-L19T. 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA COMP’Y. 
(P. O. Box 50.;.) 31 and 38 Veaey St., New York. 
TAKE 
NOTICE. Wo have the 
larges.! and ben selling 
Stationery r*clcagelu the 
World. It wn talus |8 
per, 18 envel- 
■ AKSJl H rn KL__ World. It cootnlus | 8 
“ ** *“ ebeeta of paper, 18 envel¬ 
opes, pencil, penholder, golden pea, and a piece o I valuable 
Jewelry. Complete sample package, with elegant gold-plated 
sleeve buttons and ladles' raBhb.naijlu Taney Jet. pin and 
drops, po»t-pald, 25 veins. 5 puck uses, with assorted Jew¬ 
elry,81. fcM n'oW Palmt User H’nteh free to all agents. 
BRIDE St CO., 769 Broadway, N. Y. 
TWELVE 
articles In one. The LLOYI) COM 111 NATH W Can be need 
as a Pencil, Pen holder a nd Peu.Kraser Penknife, Envelope 
opener. Paper cutler Huhber, Sewing Machine Thread 
Chtter, and for limping Seams Cutting off Hooks arid Eyes, 
UM 
pliitetf, huH will last a iifetlrne, Kre 
coining money and say it U she beet selling article out. 
Samp . 25 c V nts 'N'lv for $ j, Kxrraordinal,\'lr.Jueernents 
to Agernu. Serm fox Wir.jpie hbilf.ilojcen anti cn-nvass your 
town BRIDE dt CO., 769 Broadway, N. Y. 
SIX 
STATIONERY PACKAGES and SIX of 
tl.e LLOYD COMBINATION tor TWO 
DOLLARS. BRIDE &.CO.V 
769 Broadway, New York. 
