c'dlit anb gmnot. 
WHY THE DOG BIT HIM. 
About a week ago we heard one of our leading 
citizens bragging about hia watch-dog. He 
went on to nay that Nero was a splendid watch 
dog ; that he would never even growl at a child, 
and at night he would tear anybody to pieces he 
found about the premises. 
“Ain’t you afraid," wo asked, “that he will 
bite you some night when you come home late ?" 
"Not a bit of it; ho is too intelligent. lie 
knows my step as soon as I put my foot on the 
gallery. Why, I wouldn’t take live hundred 
dollars for that dog. He is tho most reliable 
biting dog in Han Antonio.” 
About three days after the foregoing conver¬ 
sation took place, one morning early we met a 
policeman leading this identical dog out into the 
suburbs. 
“ What are you doing with Major Jones’ dog ?” 
we wanted to know. 
“ He gave him to me to take him out and 
shoot him.” 
“What for?" we asked, in amazement. 
“ Because he tackled the Major last night on 
his coming home, and bit him in thirteen places ; 
he will not bo down town for a week." 
“ But I heard the Major say that that dog was 
intelligent; that ho knew' his step, and wouldn’t 
bite him, no way ho could fix it; that he would 
not take five hundred dollars for that animal.” 
“ The dog ain’t to blame for it,” said the 
policeman, gazing sadly at poor Nero, “ it is the 
Major’s own fault." 
“ How so ?” w r e imp fired. 
“ Well," responded the policeman slowly, the 
dog did know his stop and never even growfied at 
him before : but last night for the first time 
since be owned the dog, tho Major came home 
throe hours earlier than usual and perfectly 
sober, and somehow his step was very different 
from what tho dog was used to; be didn’t tangle 
up his logs as much as common by any means 
and tho dog was fooled by it, took him for a per¬ 
fect stranger, and bounced bum Tho dog ain’t 
to blame; ho missed the smell of whisky; he 
didn’t hear tho Major whoop and cuss and fall 
down in the cellar, as lie always docs when ho 
comes home, so Noro kept on bitin’ the Major in 
fresh places, until the family interfered.” 
“Come on, Nero!” and the sad funeral 
cortege resumed tho line of march for the brush. 
■- ♦ ♦ ♦- 
SPARKS AND SPLINTERS. 
A school teacher at Hoboken N. J., iu setting 
down black marks against tho boys, puts them 
under the head of “ Hop-statistics.” 
The young ladies of Ridgewood, N. J. call a 
handsome clerk in a grocery store a counter-fit, 
while unother who is particularly smooth iu 
speech is dubbed Bos Bulterin. 
Thf. wife of a sexton belonging to one of the 
churches in a very healthy locality, was last week 
interrupted in the middle of a harangue upon 
the hardness of the times by a person who de¬ 
sired to sell her a couple of ducks. “Ducks!" 
exclaimed she, " how can I buy ducks or any' 
tiring elseWo have not buried a living soul 
these six months.” 
As the trial of a breach-of-promiso suit was 
about to begin in San Francisco, a juror arose 
and asked to bo excused, because be was engaged 
to be married, and consequently hia mind was 
not free from bias. Ho was excused. 
A couple of little ones discussed theology to a 
slight extent tho other night. The question was 
as to the locality of heaven. “ I think,” said 
one, “that it's in tho gixmud, because they put 
my grandma there, and Urey said she went to 
heaven.” “No,” said tho other, with great 
thoughtfulness and gravity, “My uncle died 
one day, and I saw his picture in the drawer only 
last week,” 
An Unlucky Bite.—A man in Cheyenne, a few 
days ago, went into a store to buy a barrel of 
apples. He bit. into an apple, concluded to take 
a barrel of twenty-ounce pippins, went away, 
and, after being absent an hour or so, came buck 
and asked to see tho apple he nad bitten into. 
On being asked why ho wanted that particular 
one, he said that he had lost his false teeth some¬ 
where, and he rather thought he had left them 
sticking iu that apple. His surmise turned out 
to be true. 
A well-known clergyman, who preached in a 
village in Massachusetts, found his hearers di¬ 
minishing day by day, and consulted an old 
Scotch seafaring man. who could not boast of 
much religion, but who stuck by the ship, why 
the people would not come to church. “I oanna 
exactly tell, mon, .ye preached ou spring and 
autumn most beautiful discourses, and ye im¬ 
proved the great accident and loss of life on the 
Sound : ye might try them with something out 
of the Bible, and being fresh, maybe it would 
hold them another Sunday or two!” 
And yet, Jones always boasted that he was a graceful rider! 
PATENT STEEL BARB FENCING. 
Dairy, Hotel and General Use 
05 1 
ATOMIZERS, 
For Destroying Potato Bugs, &c. 
Dope*its tlie inseeilslde on both sides ot every 
leaf. Hare protection m leas cost thuu $3 per acre 
for whole season- Send for Oircuiur. 
THE MCVV YCJUK PLOW CO„ . 
5.j llettliitmn Si., New York, 
Manufacturers c*f AdnmauL Plows, Nishwltz Wheel 
Harrow, Automatic Swivel Plow, lor side-hill and 
level laud, and all the different styles of Atninean 
Plows. Works : Newark, N. J. 
Massillon Harvester 
| Buy the Best. 
TWO men 1,1ml 
TKN Acres dull.:. 
— ~ " Hinder, <»n SIT 
I or S'itm Ad- 
CbOsJ. dress EDWIN 
77 BAYLISS. 
Massillon. 0. 
DOMESTIC REFRIGERATORS, 
OF AT,I. SIZES. 
For full particulars, circulars, etc., address 
CHAS, F. FIERCE, Geti’l Manager, 
7 1 Washington St., Chicago, III. 
fi>K ELEGANT CAROS, 21 styles, with name, 10 cents' 
AO post-paid. GEO. I. REED & CO., Nassau, N.Y 
THE AULTMAN-TAYLOR 
& fp ,,Dc “«bk. Thresher 
|M PAID MARCH 
?!who want to get several 
bushels more groin to a 
St el'Geld than usual, und 
FATTENED 
AultmanTaylor Straw Stack. 
Thrrxhrrmtn* 
who want to buy the most 
profitable Threshing Mu- 
china In tin, world, should 
write to THE AULTMAN & 
TAYLOR CO., Mansfield, O., 
saying tliov saw tills in (lie 
Ri'hai. New-Yorker, 
and they will receive De¬ 
scriptive Pamphlet free. 
Mfc, BOOKWALTER ENGINE. 
tn Compact, substantial, economical, 
S'' ILL and easily managed. Guaranteed 
Sii.fftaf I 10 work well atid give full i osver 
claimed. Engine and Boiler com- 
1 W BiS I plete, including Governor, Pump, 
I® mil ll etc., at the low price uf 
I Min 1 Paw-v 3-Horsc Power.*210 
11'|“ ',1 . 280 
pKIj -L/^rPut on cars at ^pringiieid, Ohio. 
. &{- JAS. LEFFEL & CO.. Springfield, 0 . 
jiej# or Liberty St., New York City. 
Send for Descriptive Circular. 
I/IUA BRADLEY'S REVERSIBLE 
KINll HARROW. 
Two Harrows in One, 
I And sold at tho price of one. 
A PERFECT SMOOTHING HARROW. 
nif Combined with a vertical or 
straight, tooth- 
Every funner says at sight: " It 
is just tho thing, and we cannot 
TT i n'nnTTTO affordto tfo Without It,” 
HARROWS 
it ll HHU 1 f 1J Send for lUcatmted Circular. 
QEND V rit CIRCFI-AR uf Agricultural Imple- 
n mePvBtO Abbo rr.Biuw & Co , Mfrs.l level and L 0 
$1 fl ® a day sure made by Age tits selling our 
I U p / 3 flmuno*. Crayons, Picture in Chromo 
KING 
HARROWS 
TEAS 
LJ A Stebl Thorn Hedge. No other Fencing so cheap or put up so eustly or II 
IP ouleklv. Never rusts, stains, decays, shrinks nor warps. Lnaffeeted by fire, wind V 
I or floo’d. A complete harrier to the most unruly stock. Impassable by man or f 
' beast. The Farmer's Comfort; the Gardener’s Security the Gentleman’s Safe¬ 
guard. Three or four strands of this Wire, with our Patented Iron Post, making a most impregnable 
fe n cg 
TWO THOUSAND TONS SOLD AND PUT UP DURING THE LAST YEAR. 
For sale at the loading hardware stores, with Stretchers and Staples. Send for Descriptive Pamphlet to 
WASHBURN Sl MOEN MF’G CO., 
Of Worcester, .Mass., Sole .Mimul'iu'lurers East of Chicago. 
Warehouse; 42 Clips' St., New York. 
ARE YOU GOING TO PAINT? 
Use none but that which experience has proved to be the best. The Averill Paint, Mixed 
Ready for use, received the highest award at the Centennial Exhibition for beauty, durability 
and Economy. Send for Sample Card and testimonials (furnished free), to the 
AVERILL CHEMICAL PAINT CO., 32 Burling Slip, N. Y. 
rELLUCIDITE TOR COATING HARD WOODS. 
« ■’»*“" IffliEMTii BOM 
MtriWin Dairy, Hotel and General Use 
PRESS. yh A 
wn-H ^ v gf hjj 
Double Platform ^ ^ 
B 00 MER& B 0 SCHERT ^^ 
PRESS CO., ^ M 
Syracuse, N. Y. Caj <1 f " IceDumbbi * E7 j 
- *-- rU I II ___ m ^ 
0 8 AGE ORANGE HEDGE PLANTS, packed, HH 
10.000 No. 1, .» 12. „ _ LJ 1ST ^nr TtIi 
Honey Locum, No. livoiced, 1.000,13,60. ^ I ^ r "• : s ” 
Peach, No. I, exira assortment, including Ams- Lj ? J CMUB\ Outmtt L < 
den, packed, per 1,1(10, *50. L* 
Concord Grnpc. No. 1, pacicrd, per 1,000,112. -< l -i ll l i, 
F. K. PHOENIX, Bloomington Nursery, ill. * ■” 
$| n ® a day *nro made by Age tits selling our 
I u H Z_3 Chromo*. Crayons. Picture* Chromo 
■ Cards, 125 samples, worth RA sent, 
postpaid, for 85 Cents. Illustrated Catalogue free. 
J. 11. BUFFORD'S SONS. BOSTON. Kt-tab’d IKK). 
A This Is a combination of 
'l 1 &■ f\ W capitalists to supply con- 
I I / » L Y only throughout 
the United States with 
, , , .PURE TEAS on the 
mutual principle, by getting up clubs. Send for 
New Price-List. 
CONSUMERS 131 POUTING TEA CO., 
P. O. Box M0SI. No. 8 Church 8t., New York City. 
NEW TERMS! 
TEAS AND COFFEES AT WHdl.ESAl.E PRICES. 
BEHT TERMS EVElt OKKEItEII TO CLUB 
ORGANIZERS, 
SEND FOR NEW PRICE-LIST. 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA COMP’Y. 
(P. O. Box 5043.) 31 und XX Vesey St., New York. 
OEND FOR CIRCULAR of theTest Paint In 
|5 the world to RUBBER PAINT CO.. Cleveland, O. 
Champion Milk Pan 
2,000 in use, January 1, 1877. 
Patented March 20th. 1872, and July 27,1875. 
This Pan took the First Premium at the New York 
State Fair, at Elmira. Sept. 1875. Descriptive Circu¬ 
lar and Price List sent free on application to 
WILLARD Si IIA 111 Ft ON D, 
Randolph. Can. Co., N. Y. 
The Rectaugular Ohum 
and Butter Worker. 
Simple, efficient uudalways 
reliable. No Inside fixtures. 
Fifty per card. In labor saved 
over ariu other churn., 5 sizes 
made. Endorsed by leading 
Dairymen. 
Agents wanted where we 
have none. Send for Clrcu- 
'"*■ KW.t.Miim. 
BUTTER WORKER. 
/x The most Effective, 
.. r —”-^§8^ Simple and Convon- 
*' Works"3© lbs. iu 
1 era ihmi 5 miii- 
32555 ^= 5^-^71 ale*, thoroughly 
working out the hut- 
ill ^—' P terinllk and mixing In 
B tho salt. Send for cir- 
fi 1 1 | 1 ctilor and price lists. 
A.H. REID. No. 1 ! North 18th rt., Philadelphia Pa. 
! 
mftSS* 1 
I T P PORTABLE P. 
^9fe* gNG hjF^ i. 
GROUND BONE—Hi 
Raw Bone, Perfectly inoffensive. Produoes lux¬ 
urious grass. Jt never fails with grain crops. War- 
mated pure and true to analysts. Book showing 
composition of grains and how to grow them, sent 
on receipt of 20 cents. Circulars free. Address 
ICY 001,31 OR FERTILIZER WORKS, Salem, O. 
TO JAMES BRAY LEV, Bcrru.o, N. Y„ far IWrlellv* 
^ Prlc« Ll.l vl Buffalo PjlU Tlirosliera aud Horse Towers. 
THE INVINCIBLE THRESHER 
AND 
IMPROVED MOUNTED POWER. 
Tli® Most Perfect <irain Saver in Use* 
KINGSLAND. FERGUSON Si CO., 
Manufacturers, St. Louis. 
Send for descriptive Circular. 
«T 
T i cp 
Imitation Gold Watches 
' $15. $20 an rt $25 each. Chains 
Cite Sir, to Uiatoh. Jtweliw 0 (Hie lime. 
Hoot C.O.n.. br Express. Beod stamp for 
Illustrated Circular Cotam : iliTai. WxtcH 
Factory, Hi Broadway, XewTor*. Box 3686 
Act as Agent I—Reader, If there is no agent for 
the Rural 1b your locality please become one by 
forming a club. It will vav. 
