You can always detect a bachelor by the way 
be handloB a baby ; but to be safe from Iohb it is 
well to use a borrowed baby in making tlie ex¬ 
periment. 
When you bear a mother calling to her son, 
to come here and abut the shutter,” and bear 
him respond, “ it is shut, mother, and I can’t 
shut it any shutter,” do you ever pause to analyze 
the delicate beauties of our language ? 
Penn, the founder of Pennsylvania, abhorred 
smoking. His Quaker council one day, observ¬ 
ing him approach, laid down their pipes. “ I am 
glad to see,” said Penn, “ you are ashamed of 
that vile habit ” “Not at all,” returned a prin¬ 
cipal Friend ; “we only laid them down lest wo 
should offend a weak brother.” 
At the Cleveland baby show: “That baby,” 
said a spectator, “ may look pretty at home, but 
it is hardly up to the standard of a baby show.” 
“ Do you think so ?” addressing a lady who stood 
near, “Excuse me from commenting, sir,” said 
the lady, “ as my opinion might be biased. I am 
its mother.” The man asked for his hat and 
took a recess. 
'* Is there an opening here for an intellectual 
writer?” saida very red faced youth with the 
cork of a bottle sticking out of his breastpocket. 
The editor, with much dignity, took the young 
man’s intellect in, and said : “An opening? Yes, 
sir; a kind and considerate carpenter, foreseeing 
your visit, loft an opening for you. Turn the 
knob to the right.” 
Young man, where have you boon ?” said an 
angry father to liis son who ctimo in about 11 
o’clock after bis first evening with Ids boyhood’s 
fair charmer. “ Boon to a committee meeting 
of the general court,” was the riply. Then tlie 
old mau remembered when be was a boy, changed 
bis toue and remarked, “Well, I suppose they 
will report progress and advance the subject one 
stage, and pretty soon will go Into regular night 
sessions.” 
An assistant of a druggist recently put up a 
proscription c*f a dose of castor oil for a young 
lady. She innocently inquired bow it could bo 
taken without lusting it. He promised to ex 
plain to her, and in the meantime offered her 
Dairy, Hotel and General Use 
DOMESTIC REFRIGERATORS 
OK ALL S1J5KS. 
Kor full particular*, circulars, etc., address 
CHAS. K. 1‘IKUCF.. Gen’i iiinnuger 
71 Wnnlilnglon Chicago, I 
sUstfwWrfii 
ARE YOU GOING TO PAINT? 
The World’* ml Honor’* Won 
Jill A l>f,KY’H 
—Self-Dumping— 
one but that which experience has proved to he the best. The Avbkii.i, Paint, Mixed 
m use, received tlie highest award at the Centennial KxUlbltlon for beauty, durability 
omy. ’ Send for Sample Card and testimonials (furnished free), to the 
AVERILL CHEMICAL PAINT CO., 32 Burling Slip, New York 
171 Fast Randolph St., Chicago. 
132 & 134 East River St., Cleveland, 
Received the 
Centennial Award—The Grand Medal of Honor. 
for Method op dumping, JCAMk.it to Ride, 
No Bide Dravt. Dumps the Easiest, 
hakes thk ci.kankht, Independent teeth. 
Thu best of material, the best of bibor, and an 
experience of nesrly fifty years, combine to make 
Bradley's Agricultural Implements the Best in the 
W oui.li. , , _ 
Guaranteed as represented or money refunded. 
Scud for Circular. BUADLKY .vf’K’lA CO., 
Syracuse, N. Y., and Chicago, III. 
Put f>m» wilt* In 
plncf ol tin- top 
in.M mI <*f your 
blMItll IVlK**, Ulltl 
iioc*k will not 
break tin* bc.oil.. 
Tw* wires with 
posts two roils Quart, 
makes a per reel 
stock fuuce. 
THE BEST FENCE IN THE WORLD 
NEW TERMS! 
TEAS AM) COFFERS AT WHOLESALE PRICES, 
WITH 
AND 
vav-v*’ 
anl) ljumar. 
JUNE 9 
372 
MOKE J'JCA Kl.fS WASTED. 
'Total Abstainer to Inveterate Toper (whom bo finds, for once, nearly sober, and grasps the 
opportunity. He lias already been at it for three-quarters of an bour^. Well, my good friend 
don't, you see what a great saving it would be, and also what a blessing it w- 
Inv. Top. (who has evidently not been much improved as yet). I say, Mister, yer kev’ent 
got sich a thing as a dime on yer. Lev yer? I feel awful dry iike. 
THE IRON TURBINE 
WIND ENGINE. 
The only Wind En¬ 
gine In the market that gj 
Proof against Storms 
and exposure to the .» ! 1 aP*‘- 
weatlier, being f 
Made entirely of yw / 
IRON. 
Weighs no more than f y 
t he ordinary wood I ’\ 
wheels. L J, 
Kcgtiliiim, Itself in M 
a. High Wind, ft ”7l 
by means of the ' 
patent (A /v/TyA 
Automatic " ! — 
Governor. 
Gives more t L 
Powor than any rv u/jul 
other for the * Quly - ‘i t 
game diameter ’’ 
SIMPLE IN CONSTRUCTION AND WELL MADE. 
Tliry arc Giving Perfect Snllsfarlidii, 
Where other Mill" have fulled. 
Every farmer and stock raiser should have one. 
A constant supplv of pun'water will keep your stock 
In better condition, and thus In a short t me save the 
coat of an Iron Tnrblne Wind Engine; to sav noth¬ 
ing iif the yri-at raving of labor and other advan¬ 
tages. widen yon cun learn about by writing: to us 
TRYING TO FIX HER. 
Mb. Rubai, dropped his daily paper, seized his 
hat and started out of the house for the nearest 
oandy store. In a few moments ho returned 
with bis face covered with smiles and concilia¬ 
tion, Baying to the partner of bis joys and sor¬ 
rows, “My dear, I have bought you some nice 
chewing gum, try it." “Why John, what on 
earth is the matter with you have you gone 
crazy and lost what little brains you did have ?" 
exclaimed that amiable lady. “ No, but I saw it 
recorn mended in the paper, that's all.” Just as 
she began to look over tlie closely printod 
columns, old Rural stepped down to the grocery 
and returned after she had gone to bed. This 
is what she road in tlie paper: 
“ A girl in Thirty-third street, was seized re¬ 
cently with a severe attack of lockjaw. She 
made frantic efforts to talk, but for a whole hour 
there was a deadlock of loquacity. Tbe family 
physician pronounced it a clear case of too much 
chewing-gum." 
•-♦ ■»--»- 
SPARKS AND SPLINTERS. 
“Why, Sammy,” Buid a father to bis little son 
tbe other day, “ 1 didn’t know that your teacher 
whipped you last Friday.” “ 1 guess,” be re¬ 
plied, “ if you’d been iu my trousers you’d know’d 
! A. •» 
in ANT, KUOS <V CO., Sprluy field, O. 
E EUREKA SAFETY 
PoWPt* ’ Prncll; ally lin- 
X U W Cl . poHHiblc to ex¬ 
plode. Touted to 800 lbs. press¬ 
ure per square fuel). Two IJorse 
Power,i 1 An, 3 tel H. l”.,»’J5IL 
Also, Htmloeury Engines und 
Boilers and wpnrk .Arresting 
Portable Knglii,'* ter planta¬ 
tion use. Semi for ruir Circular. 
Discount to tlie trade. 
B. W. PAYNfA SONS,Corning,N.Y. 
State you saw this In Rukai, New-Yorker. 
UUlli it-uun^y iv |(inrp hi unvuiiui 0,111* mAiuiou ncu- 
zer water. After she had finished it lie said, 
triumphantly, “You see, miss, you have taken 
your oil and did not know it." The young lady 
screamed out, “It was for my mother!” 
Matthews one day arrived at a forlorn coun¬ 
try inn. and addressing a lugubrious waiter, in¬ 
quired if lie could have a chicken and asparagus. 
The mysterious mau shook his bend “ Can I 
have a duck (hen?" “No, sir.” “Have you 
any mutton chops ?" “Not one, sir.” “Then, 
as you have no eatables, bring mo something to 
drink. Have you any spirits?” “Kir, replied 
the man, with a profound sigh, “ we are out of 
spirits.” “ Then, in wonder’s name, what have 
you in the house?" “ An execution, sir.” 
Ono iy!i« 
Avllll 
t»vo roil s 
ttfiffit will 
#‘0|i i 
' y'l/./x / r.I .Ij lr i II I'j Willi UFSI MHUU —wvigni umy ^ 
tf> ilie rod. Point hoveled from both Mile*, Bcfits-pool to hnu* 
• lie. Fntly licenced under AI*L THK BOTTOM PA1I\NTS, by 
Washburn ft NP.cn Mannfnctunn« <*»». No danger of hrinpr troubled 
for infrin^enn.-nK A ' voiu* Hardware Merchant* for the 
H 4 K /: FI 'Sf'K Or »eud for Circular and partloulnrH to the 
Manuf’rs THE THQKN WIRE HEDGE CO., 277 Madison St„ Chicago. 
1000 miles 
of bat* feme 
built by R.R. 
Co.’s the put 
MM Etr 7 a M. *< ■ * IT* <7 a» »» • ■ v v — 
OltGANIZEU*. 
BKND FOR NKW PttlCB-LIST. 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA COMP’Y. 
(P. O. Box 5041.) HI and 88 Veaoy St., New York. 
T P PORTABLE G 
|_ 
THE AULTNIAN-TAYLOR 
|jX. r fih 0C mark, Thresher 
jljjP PtTD M4RCH VS\n*Mf r.iH.VUHH, 
wlin want to gel several 
V/.x*'* Innthels more a ruin to a 
Bold ll,aD u,,unl ’ ,ind 
V * V' Threnhermeu , 
. who want to buy tbe moat 
protltublc 'I'lucalilng Mil- 
’W chin.'in ihe world,suouUl 
. _ write in THE AUHWAN & 
,<>> TAYLOR CO , Muuaueld.O., 
1 ’ .Ss-jait* 1 *- eu vn3g ttiev saw Mils in the 
rATTrurn itun.M, Ni:w-Y orker, 
r und they will receive lie- 
AulimanIaylor Straw Stack, scnptivn r-aiuphiut free. 
BOOK WALTER ENGINE. 
Compact, vubstuntlal, eoonomlcal, 
and easily tnauageO. <j mi ran teeu 
It. work well and give full rower 
eli.inied. iSngme uiui Boiler cmi- 
pleUi, Inelmling uovarnor. Puuip. 
etc., at the low price of 
;v Horse Power.t2f0 
, 4H “ ** »40 
(IK “ 340 
Iput on ears ut Springllcid, Ohio. 
JAS LEFFEL & CO.. SpringCield, 0. 
or 109 Liberty St., New York City. 
Send for Descriptive Circular. 
THE INVINCIBLE THRESHER 
IMPROVED MOUNTED POWER. 
The ’llo*l Perfect Crain Saver in U*e 
KINGS!,AND, KKRGUSON & CO., 
Manufacturers, St. Louis. 
Send for descriptive Circular. 
inn »■ » m. £**4 This Is u combination of 
»■" l\ capitalist* to supply ron- 
■ A /-% x timer a tml/u throughout 
»» w r 1 " ■ tli« United State* with 
HI KE TEAK on ihe 
mutual principle, by getting up clubs. Send for 
fJiia 1 I .iut 
CONST DIKIIS’ IDI PORTING TKA CO., 
P. O. Box 6D09. No. 8 Church St., New York City 
POWER 
Cifler^Wine 
PRESS. 
Double Platform 
BOOMER &B0SCHERT 
PRESS CO., 
‘ Syracuse, N. Y. 
<k I fl 3 tor a day sure made by Agents Beilin.' our 
* I II i- / h Chrome*. Crayons, Picture A Chiomo 
. 1 u - - l aid?. 1‘J.T M»mpl<?*, worth 8.5, sent, 
ongiimtil. for S.5 Cents. II Ju aim ted Catalogue free. 
1, H llUKFOHIiS SONS. BOSTON. K.-tab’d 1830. 
W ANTED.- A ITANILf WANT COlWTBY 
BOARD In u lurto-anusc The situation must 
APPLE GRINDERS, 
Power Presses, Hatchet Screws, &c., 
AT ilEDUrKD PRICKS. 
AddrPss, for Circulars and prices. 
O. K. JOHNSON A MKltRlICM, Medina, N. Y. 
