KISSED BY MISTAKE. 
Tin? Kingston (N. Y.) Freeman, relates the 
following: On Friday morning about five o’clock 
as a yonng man whoso extreme modesty prevents 
the disclosure of bis name, blit who may be 
called “ Smith," was preparing bln shire for cus¬ 
tomers, bo noticed two young ladies strangers 
to him—go (last, and what appeared most singu¬ 
lar was the almost impertinent manner in which 
they riveted their gaze upon him. However, 
they passed on and were absent from his imme¬ 
diate vicinity a short time when be was surprised 
to again see them in front of the door gazing 
longingly at him. Suddenly one ruahod through 
tho open door, hurriedly placed her traveling 
satcthcl upon the floor, and without any regard 
for proprieties, encircled his neck with her two 
arms, saying between kisses bestowed, “Oh, 
Charlie (kiss), I am (kiss) so (two kisses) glad to 
see yon (Iukh-h-h— fizz)! When did you come 
here ? I thought you were yet in Iowa." By 
this time “ Smith " began to realize tlie delicate 
situation of affairs, especially as others were 
present, and ho ventured to protest that the lady 
must be mistaken—that bis name was not 
“ Charlie ” that be bad never been in “ Iowa ”— 
that be had never seen her before, to all of which 
the lady finally very reluctanctly assented, re¬ 
marking that be was tho perfect image of a 
“ very dear, absent friend," and the reason for 
the demonstration was her overjoy in the sup¬ 
posed discovery of him thus unexpectedly in 
ltondout. 
—-♦♦ » 
# 
THE CREDIT BUSINESS. 
After having inspected a pile of calico in one 
of the Woodward avenue stores yesterday, a 
somewhat rusty-looking man blandly remarked 
to the clerk before him : 
“ Credit must bo given me-” 
“ No, sir—we don’t trust,” was the reply. 
“I was going to remark that credit must be 
given mo for-” 
“We couldn’t do it, sir. The rule applies to 
every one.” 
“ Couldn't do what ?” asked the man. 
“ Couldn’t give you credit.” 
“ You are very uncivil, sir, very, but yet I will 
say before I go out of here that credit must be 
given me for being honest and impartial, when I 
say that 1 never saw three hitching-posts look 
nicer than them three out there. That’s all, sir, 
and I wish I hadn't said that much.” 
SPARKS AND SPLINTERS. 
A dead issue—Fractional currency. 
Mr. Ham proposes to start a weekly paper in 
Milledgeville, Ga. It should come out every 
Fry-day. 
Little tilings should not bo despised. The 
little toe is the smallest on the foot, but it always 
has tho largest corn, 
A mum? struck on Saturday on the Erie tow- 
path. They have found a cap and one suspender 
button that belonged to the driver. 
A ooat got tangled among the logs of a neck¬ 
tie peddler, the other day, and, for a time, it 
Boomed as though the wrongs of au outraged 
community were about to be revenged; but the 
peddler eseaped alivo. 
The Virginia Gazette, discussing tho political 
situation, cries, “ Hot aside the small men and 
self-appointed lendors. Give us a giant!" 
Gentlemen, somo of you hold our coat! Now, 
then, what do you want done first. ? 
A ooauESFONDKNT of tlio Bulletin endearingly 
asks its editor, “ How can the boys be kept off 
the Streets at night ?" Simple enough. Let 
every parent pave his back yard with tesselated 
marble, light it with gaH, put a billiard table in 
it, with a bar and cigar-stand in ouo corner, and 
the thing is done. 
“ What are those purple posies down by the 
brook?” asks Gus. “If you moan,” replies 
Clara, “ those glorious masses of empurpled 
eflloreHcence, that bloom in bosky dells and 
fringe the wimpling stoamlcts, they are campa¬ 
nula rotnndillora." Gus plays billiards for a 
living and Clara goes to a girls’ college. 
It is related of Dunning, an English judge, 
that frequently, in the examination of witnesses, 
he displayed groat coarseness, and drew upon 
himself tho animadversion of his brethren.” 
Ou one occasion, wishing to establish the identity 
of a person through the instrumental ;ty of an 
unsophisticated old woman (occupying the wit¬ 
ness stand), the following colloquy took place: 
Dunning—“Was he a tall man?” Witness— 
“ Not very tall, your houor; much about the size 
of your worship’s honor.” “ Was ho good-look¬ 
ing ?” “ Quite contrary: much like your honor, 
but with a handsomer nose.” “ Did he squint ?” 
“A little, your worship; but not so much as 
your honor by a great deal.” 
O' 
WAH ©TIE PERSONAL? 
Rwell.— “ How grand the mnsic-ah. of the breakers, as they dash upon the beach-ah! 
Youno Lady.— “ Yes, but the horrid swells are so sickening. Such a bore, you know !” 
CARRY THE NEWS. 
3 Months for 60 Cents! 
Show yojir paper to friends and neighbors who should 
take the 
RURAL NEW-YORKER 
7 
and explain that they can 
TRY IT FOR 3 MONTHS, 
For just GO Cents ! 
Address everything, 
iin 
to 
Thresher & Cleaner. 
The best VlbruUne Threshing Machine extant. 
Also, the beat Dover Horne Power and One and Two- 
llOrsti Railway power*. Are munuluctured by the 
ALlSAh Y AG’L WORKS. O. II. I*. Cornell, Pro¬ 
prietor. Albany, N. Y. Send for Circular. 
Established' /844. 
STRAUB MILL COMPANY’S 
f in A JyiM'J f>7V C INCINNS 77 
17 Tt SE PA 
■INERYA 
E| 
millers supplies 
WkiOWH- C/NCMNNA 
XCAQ New and Best Terms 
I U ever offered to Club Organizers 
I L fl W I and I.urge Consumers. 
TEAS AT WHOLESALE prices in lot* to suit cus¬ 
tomers. AI1 charges bind on #111 orders and upward. 
SEND FOR NEW PRICK 1,1ST. 
TUB GREAT AMERICAN TKA COMPANY, 
p 0 BOX UtH. Ill Ond 68 \ I -I V st., New York. 
AT/' 
STOVERS 
AUTOMATIC 
WIND ENGINE. 
We keep experienced men 
to erect our Mills, put In Force 
or Lift Pumps, House Valves 
and Reservoir Tanks, Hy¬ 
drants: and In AVw York State 
we have put in inure than all 
others combined, during the 
past two years. 
Water forced from wells or 
springs to elevated points. 
Write for Circulars and full 
particulars, stating the nature 
Of your wants, to 
WILLI A M 8, MMITH & CO., 
Agents Wanted . Knliimnzoa. Mich. 
^EACH TREES. 
We offer to the trade it large supply of very fine 
Peach Trees: also a large stock or splendid two 
and throe-year Apple, Wild Goose am) Other Plum 
Trees, Apricots, Nectarines, one and two-year Grape 
Vines; also other Fruit and Ornamental Trees, Vines, 
Shrubs, Roses, Ac , Ac. Send for Price 1,1st. 
TUB l’KRO NURSERIES CO., 
Clinton, Henry Co., Mo. 
Established in 1044. 
% 
r .vi «i- 
G. c Lot ii . V 
P V BOLTING CLOTH. ^ 
1 L.U E.RS SUPPLIES 
Address STRAUB MILL CO., Cincinnati, O. 
POWER 
By increasing the RURAL’S circulation you increase its 
usefulness. 
Mpi This is it eomlil nation of 
capitalists to supply con- 
r t M supure only throughout 
■BU the united States with 
PURE TEAS on the 
mutual principle, by getting up clubs. Send for 
New Price-List. 
CONSUMERS’ IMPORTING TEA CO., 
p.O. Box 5509. No. 8 Church 8t., New York City. 
RURAL PUBLISHING CO., 
78 Duane St., New York. 
APPLE GRINDERS, 
Power Presses, Ratchet Screws, &c., 
AT REDUCED PRICKS. 
Address, for Circulars and prices. 
O. K. JOHNSON A MERRIEM, Medina, N. Y. 
