ADS, 2S 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER. 
the bedstead rolled round together, and had a 
little Jollification on our own account. Did you 
hear us down stall's?” he asked. Innocently. 
“O Cmm. ik, your dressing-gown is spoiled!” 
I cried. 
“Is It?” and he smoothed It out. as lie limped 
to the glass. "Can’t It be fixed up/ You see 
there was a spell when l telt easier, and thought 
seriously of coming down. Well. I couldn’t get 
my coat, you know, for It Is In our bedroom; and 
so, hunting through the press, I found tills. You 
can’t think how nice I looked when I’d fixed my¬ 
self up—regular Invalid you know, slippers 
and tie and all; when wlmck! began that Infer¬ 
nal tooth again, screw after screw, till my jaws 
were wound up tighter than an elght^day clock. 
Then I mixed the brandy, vinegar, camphor, and 
cayenne pepper all together and drank It down. I 
declare to the tocsin lflt didn't set up a regular 
-'Etna inside! i performed ft private war-dance 
with Improvised whoops, and came pretty near 
going down stairs on my head, if I had, you’d 
have seen something not announced on t he bills. 
It’s beginning again,” he went on with terrible 
contortions of countenance; “1 wonder bow a 
jump from a four-story window would itx It." 
Presently .Tack came down, looked In the room 
with a careless glance J ust long enough to take lu 
St. Olavk and Lisa /ete-n-hve, said he wasgolDg 
to run out a moment for Charlie, and disappear¬ 
ed. Perhaps half an hour had passed when ho 
came back, accompanied by a man whose felt hat 
and huge whiskers did not impress me favorably. 
Under his arm he carried a large bag. 
“ Is he a musician?" I asked, as Jack paused to 
speak to me. 
“ Well, yes,” he answered, with a ipieer expres¬ 
sion, “he 1ms made some music In his time. He 
plays the bones.” 
Then l comprehended, and started forward; 
but Jack was already up the stairs, where the 
mysterious man with the bag had preceded him. 
I trembled from bead lo foot with nervous terror, 
and could scarcely tlx my attention upon rny 
guests. 
A yell, such as I had never before heard human 
tones utter, sounded above. Then came expostu¬ 
lations, mad shouts; and once Ogata the company 
gathered together in knots, eagerly asking ques¬ 
tions, when, lo and behold.’ Charlie every ves¬ 
tige of the angel, almost every vestige of the man, 
gone—appeared on the stairs, rushing toward us. 
If a madman had made ills appeantuce In our 
midst—and, Indeed, for the time being ho was 
nothing less -the consternation could not have 
been more complete. Disfigured wall blood, ids 
dressing-gown torn and stained beyond all recog. 
nltlon, Ills hair streaming and streaking his face, 
Ills hands wide spread, no shoes on- he burst Into 
the room, with one of Uie most Inhuman yells I 
ever heard. To escape from this frightful object, 
became the study of all who saw him. Home 
rushed screaming down stairs, some up-stalrs; 
and those who could not get outeruwiled Into the 
corners, under the piano—anywhere to avoid col¬ 
lision with this frantic dancing llgure; whllo J 
followed him with extended arms, begging him 
to desist, and cry lug like a baby. 
In vain. Citaui.ib Hew to the piano, sat down - 
lie has no voice for music, though he loves It well 
—and gave sound to the most unearthly howls 
and yells, accompanying himself with both hands 
In discordant chords, till It seemed as If pandemo¬ 
nium had been let loose. Then he leaped to the 
top of the piano, and attempted a clog-dance. 
Falling In that, he sprang to the floor, personat¬ 
ing Hamlet, Otori.m), King i.kar, Romeo, till, at¬ 
tracted by Ufa sonorous voice, the crowds drew 
near again, and began to amuse themselves with 
Ills half-insane Impersonations. 
And one I remember: 
“Thus far hear mo, Cromwell, 
And when I am forgotten as I shall be, 
Anil sleep in dull cold marble, where no mention 
Of me more must be. beard—say my tooth 
Was pulled by Rich Ait rt, Duku of Ulostor." 
Another moment, and beseemed struggling Into 
consciousness. Jack had, or course, explained the 
secret of this extraordinary performance, and our 
friends were no longer alarmed. Uiiaklik had 
sent for a popular dentist, who was the manufac¬ 
turer of a peculiar kind of gas—since then come 
Into famllLir use—under the Influence of whloh 
he had the teeth extracted. But either 1m took 
too much, or the volatile essence acted upon his 
nervous temperament in a man ner that destroyed, 
for the time, both consciousness and control of 
his nerves —hence ids halt-crazy exhibition of 
himself. 
He folded Ids arms, set bis shoulders high, and 
began deliberately walking back and forth, throw¬ 
ing aside whatever came In his way, chairs, otto¬ 
mans, books, tables; and still he walked and 
walked, till at last- falling upon a sofa lu a state 
of exhaustion, lie seemed to reflect,. 
At that moment 1 went up to 1dm. 
“Chaklik dear,” I said, quietly. 
“She wards to ask a favor of me, and so It’s 
* Chaklik dear,’ he repeated, ironically. “She 
keeps the preserves for company too. By Jove, 
I'm glad when a friend drops In, for then I get 
something to cat,” he added, with a miserable 
little laugh- I could have sunk to the ground 
with sheer mortification. 
“Jealous of an engine, too. Friends and fellow- 
citizens, I-where the dickens am I?” he asked, 
suddenly regaining the full possession of his 
senses, looking down at himself, and round upon 
the company. 
There arc many situations scat tered through 
the book that are equally ridiculous and mirth- 
provoking. in fact, the book’s reason for being 
Is this man’s unfortunate talent for always doing 
the wrong ttdng at the right time, and from the 
best motives. The burthen of the love in the 
story foils on the shoulders of J auk and Lina. It 
(the love) bade fair never to run smoothly but for 
an egregious blunder of Ciukub’s, which cleared 
the amatory atmosphere with the shock and 
noise or a thunder-clap. In short, the book Is 
very Cleverly conceived and written. It contains 
more real fun than any book we havo lately read. 
My Three Con vernal ion* with Minn Chester. 
By K. H. 1’ic ukins. New York: 0. P. Putnam's 
Sons. (8q. hiwo.: paper-pp. »I. Price, 25c.) 
This Is a very clever novelette, In which the 
author introduces magnetism, clairvoyance, mlnd- 
readlog, or whatever that little-understood power 
may be termed which endows one person with 
an extraordinary lad uence over others with whom 
ho may come In contact. Miss Chester Is a 
strongly outlined character, and the " Three con¬ 
versations” are three epochs lo her llfo which 
have a marked and happy luilucnceon her career. 
The story Is quite sketchy, the language virile, 
and the treatment or the real theme—mesmerism 
—skillful. It. Is a refreshing contrast to the ordi¬ 
nary pabulum offered t he reading public, and wo 
should be glad to see more literary work from so 
rich and such a comparatively unworked vein. 
The publishers are to bo congratulated for tho 
neat and attractive way In which the book Is pro¬ 
duced. A glance at the cover Is enticing, and 
will, we are sure, decide many a purchaser. 
Two K Shack. By ITawlKy Smart. (Paper.—pp. 
'id. l’riue 50 cents.) Boston : Luring. 
Thk tone ot this book smacks of “fastness.” 
A married woman who receives tho attentions of 
any and all the young men whom she fancies, 
exchanging confidences with them and allowing 
them lover’s privileges, we consider immoral. 
Mrs. I'ayntkb, the fascinating, who belongs to 
this class, Is to us a most objectionable character. 
The author evidently had doubts us to the Im¬ 
pression Uls two heroines would make, so he Is at. 
the pains to explain and apologize for the Imbe¬ 
cility of tho one and the questionable conduct of 
the Other. A full-fledged villain, a half-developed 
ditto, two attractive young men, a fresh girl, two 
maiden aunts, in addition to the heroines before 
mentioned, make up the dnntuitte ^ertmnu:. 
Ollier People's Children. A Sequel to Helen's 
ISiibiiM. (Paper, pp, 80S. Price K0 cents.) New 
V ork : (i. P. Putnam's Sons. 
A it R it the author's frank admission (In the pref¬ 
ace) of ids shortcomings and or his reformatory 
Intentions, It would be ungracious for us to criti¬ 
cise this contribution to baby literature as we 
would like to. In truth, the public Is more to 
blame tlmu the author. Wo don't know, on sec¬ 
ond thought, that we should cost any reflections 
on the author, oven It ho hadn’t forestalled any¬ 
thing In that, line by Ills apologetic explanation. 
As for tho public, wo could not do Justice to Its 
lack or good taste in the space allotted us, so wo 
will merely Intimate that those who enjoyed 
“Helen's Babies,” can resume the acquaintance 
of the now famous Budge <v Co., by an expendi¬ 
ture of sixty cents. 
Niuiport. Boston: Lockwood. Brooks * Co. (Cloth; 
l2ino. -494 pages; tinted paper; Price, ?!,.».) 
A lover of books takes up tills volume with 
pleasurable sensations. The neat, tastcrul bind¬ 
ing, the delicately tinted and ilnely printed paper, 
the open, clear, readlly-rciulablo type, unite to 
intake it near perfection. What or its contents? 
If you have any duties that require your atten¬ 
tion, leave tho book until they are performed, for 
the plot is so well conceived and Un*. story so ad¬ 
mirably told, you will liini if, difficult to lay It 
aside If it is once commenced, until It is finished. 
The Johnson Alannr. A Talc of Olrlen Time In 
New York. By JAMES Kent, (C’lotn.— pp. ;«u.) 
New York : <4. I*. Putnam's Sons. 
The Tory, the Indian and the Democrat, repre¬ 
senting the different phases of political and social 
life of New York at the close of tho Revolutionary 
War, are Introduced lu this story. The author 
has sought to given faithful recorder the times 
and people, rather than to “ make a novel,” and 
he has succeeded lu giving the public a very In¬ 
teresting work. 
Marrying lor Money. A Love Story In KpsI 
Lire. By Mrs. Mackenzie Daniel. (Paper.— 
pp. 243. Price 75 cents.) Philadelphia : X. B. Pe- 
fcersou & Ki’o. 
Those who have read the previous works ot this 
pleasing writer will doubtless welcome another 
story from her pen. “ Marrying for Money ” is In 
no wise Inferior to Its predecessors, arid lovers of 
itcllon will And much In it to Interest and enter¬ 
tain them. 
BOOKS RECEIVED. 
From Forest and Stream Pur. Co., New York: 
The Sportsman's Gazetteer, by Cltas. Hallock. 
Lee & Shepard, Boston: 
Chas. T. Dn.i, inoham, Now York: 
Flaxle Frizzle stories—Doctor Papa. By So¬ 
phia May. (illustrated. Cloth —pp. 194. 
Price 75c.) The Young Trail Hunter Series 
—Crossing the Quicksands. By S. W. Coz- 
zens. (Illustrated. Cloth—pp. SI7.) Guide 
to Richardson & lfangeley Lakes. (Cloth, $1; 
paper, 50c.) 
J. B. Lirpiscoit & Co., I’lUla., Pa.: 
Fat and Blood, and How to Make Them. By 
s. Weir Mitchell, M. D. (Cloth—l2tno.; Price 
$1.25.) 
T. B. Peterson A Brothers. Phlla., Pa.: 
The Man of the World. By Wrn. North—Pe¬ 
terson’s Dollar Series. (Red vellum, black 
and gold. Price $1.) 
Magazines for September: 
Lipplncott's, Harper’s. The Atlantic. 
THE UNFINISHED .LETTER, 
Nakii Dyadnvood. 
"Dear Jknny— 
“ IVe reached here Huh morning, 
Tom Balter, Ned Leonard, and I; 
So you see that in spite of your warning, 
The cud of our Journey is nigh. 
“ The red-akin*—’t in scarce worth n mention, 
Don’t worry about mo, i pray— 
Havo shown uh no little attention 
Confound them !—along on our way. 
” Poor Ned's got, a ball in the shoulder— 
Another one Just grazed my side— 
But pshaw ! ere we’re half a day older 
We’ll bo at the end of our ride. 
" We’ve camped here for Ureakfiwt. Tom’s splitting 
Home kindling wood, off in the pines, 
And astride a dead cedar Pm sitting 
To hastily pen you tlmso lines, 
' A courier from Dead wood—we met him 
Just now with a mail for the States, 
(All, Jenny! I'll never forget him)— 
For this most obligingly waits. 
" He Muys, too, the miners are earning 
Ten dollars a day, every uian. 
Halloa! here coined Tom he’s returning, 
And running ns fast as he can. 
" It's nothing, X guess; he is only 
Atone of his practical-" Bang! 
Aud sharp through that solitude lonely 
Tho crack of Hioux rifle shots rang. 
And ns the dire volley catno blended 
With echo from eayon and pass, 
Tho letter to Jenny was ended — 
Its writer lay dead on tho grass. 
-♦♦♦- 
PEOPLE WHO NEITHER ,'FRET NOR 
WORRY. 
I don’t believe “ Grand mother” knows alt the 
people In the world, however long she may have 
lived In It. 1 am not a grandmother yet, nor likely 
to be, and I havo known and heard of a good 
many who were “ lust as easy as an old shoe,” 
(and of Just about os much value) who were very 
willing to enjoy “ the good things or lire,” that 
came to them without trouble or exertion ou 
their part. I have often heard of a man who, 
when found seated under hla bed riddling during 
a rata storm, while the water was pouring In 
streams through the roof of his house, and asked 
why ho did not mend It, replied that It was no 
time to do It when it was raining, and that In dry 
weather It did well enough; and of uuother 
who poking listlessly about, was asked what ho 
was looking for, and replied that, Ills corn field 
was all growing up to weeds and he was looking 
Tor his hoe, bur. be had as Her hoc tho old Boy 
himself us to see It. 
I have known many a man, who, without 
thought or care, lounges about the village 
store and grocery, while the cattle ar e breaking 
through or stepping over Ms pntched-up, nou-re- 
alsting feuees and destroying what few crops ho 
has sown or planted, and the pigs are rooting up 
the front yard that ids wife has tried to make de¬ 
cent and respectable ; many a man who is so good 
that he Is always ready and on handtoglvo the 
neighbors or anybody else a lift, while Ids own 
work Is forever undone, and hla premises and 
property going to destruction lor want of a little 
toll and energy. 
1 know wives and mothers who are so easy and 
kind-hearted that, they will travel dally among 
their neighbors, and gratltuously distribute all 
the news for miles around, while thcirown homes 
are unkept and neglected, their children going to 
ruin for lack of care, and their husbands “ going 
under ’’ for want of a help-meet. 
1 know women, who, when their own offsprings 
gather about them for care and attention, with a 
wave of the hand will say, “ Oh, go away I l can’t 
be bothered with you; do go off to play some¬ 
where, until dlnner-Ume,” when they know they 
will go Into all sons of places, aud into all kinds 
of danger, both physical and moral. 
One of this class, an Intelligent, well-bred 
womau, sends her two little girls, aged three and 
five, t,o run at large In the st reets of a great city, 
and on oue occasion, when they bad wandered to 
a depot and on board an express train, aud were 
being swiftly whirled miles from their home, the 
conductor telegraphing here and there. In Hie 
greatest anxiety, to And to whom they belonged, a 
friend came to inform her of the disaster. Him 
calmly and indifferently raised her eyes from tho 
book she was perusing anil said; “Oh, well, I 
guess they’ll get, back again, they always do come 
home at (lark unless a policeman picks ’em up, 
and keeps 'em until the next day.” 
Verily, we are not altogether a race of frettere 
and borrowers of trouble. 
Geraldine Germane. 
•-■ 
A LONDON SOCIETY WOMAN. 
Mrs. Smalley writes to the New York Tribune, 
“ You would not believe, for example, that, a lady 
rich and well known In some sections of London 
society—I Ray some, for there are many—could 
tell Lady Waldegrave to her face that, she w anted 
to be asked to ono of those Hunday-cvenlng 
dinners for which .strawberry HUI Is famous, In 
order to secure or strengthen her own social posi¬ 
tion. You can scarcely Imagine how painful it 
must have been to Lady Waldegrave to decline, 
pleading that all hor dinners had been arranged 
at the beginning of tho season, and that It, was 
too late to add to the number of her guests. 8tlU 
'ess can you conceive this lady, thus rebuffed, 
driving down or a Sunday afternoon to tho house 
to Twickenham, under pretence of calling; 
which, Indeed, her placo on Lady Waldegravc's 
visiting list might justify her In doing. She 11 nds 
the grounds thronged with the select, who have 
dined there before, or are to dine that evening. 
She seeks out, her unwilling host,ess; slio reminds 
her of her former request; she hears oneo more 
that the table Is full; nay, that more guests are 
oiddcn than there are chairs tor tn the dining 
room. You think she retires discomfited at this? 
That is because you don't know the woman. She 
Is like the British infantry, which does not know 
when It Is beaten. She observes placidly lo Lady 
Waldegrave that, possibly someone ot her guests 
may not stay for dinner; It not, she suggests, she 
entreats, she Implores, that she may till tho 
vacant place. Lord Onrlliigtord’a wife Is too well 
bred to betray disgust; she Is, I tear, not wholly 
unused to this sort of tiling, who tells her would- 
be guest that If such should bo tho case she 
would, or course, be happy to offer her tho vacant 
chair. Armed with this extorted assurance, off 
goes this aspirant tor social distinction, makes 
the round of t he party, puts to each ono the eager 
Inquiry, • Are you invited to stay to dinner ?’ and 
‘ A re you going to stay ?’ Presently t hese victims 
of this new Inquisition begin to stray up to their 
hostess aud ask, • Pray, why Is Mrs. so 
anxious I should not, stay to dinnerThe story 
circulates, the laugh goes with it, and, ulas! no 
guest, departs, no chair Is empty, and tho woman 
whoso audacity was perhaps worthy of a better 
fate has to drive buck and dine alom) In London. 
You think this is mere gossip, and malicious at. 
that. I assure you It Is true, aud If 1 named the 
heroine of my story, which 1 will not, do, you 
would neither doubt Its truth nor wonder what 
interest such a story can have for an American 
audience. 1 may add that she is a woman who, 
on the whole, may he said to have succeeded and 
not failed lu her ambition, that she goes to many 
a tine house, and has crowds ot smart people at 
tier’s—* smart ’ people meaning, In tho dialect of 
London society, fashionable people, and not at all 
Implying the possession of exceptional mental 
powers, i don’t, know that tills little anecdote Is 
much more remarkable than the shorter ono 
which accounts tor the presence of tho sumo lady 
at a great, party the Other night, by her third pe¬ 
tition for a card having wearied out the patience 
of tho giver, who had sent two refusals to two 
former requests.” 
-♦>♦——— 
DISTILLERIES. 
The causing of misery In hundreds of thousands 
of families by using distilled liquors, the paying of 
policemen, the paying of extra magistrates, the 
tilling of jails, hence the Increased cost, of guard¬ 
ing and feeding prisoners, and extra cost of 
counselors as well as tho amazing number of 
paupers,made such through drinking the distillery 
poisons, and moreover the lunatics brought to be 
a charge on the taxes, are enough, one would 
think, to make a free, and great, a self-denying 
and undoubtedly civilized nation staud up as ono 
man and bo rid of the curse; but as IT every liquid 
coming even In a remote way from the distilleries 
was to bo death-dealing to t he bodies and souls or 
people, tlin babes Just born are, poor little lntui- 
cents, poisoned by swill mill 
We read of the suffering ot tbe helpless crea¬ 
tures craving for more and more of the stuff Just 
the same ns the drinking class must have “ono 
glass more.” 
In the Herald of July nth, eases are reported 
where the milk given to ono child made “tho 
thirst Inordinate and the appetite tor milk Insulin 
bio:” lu a second case “the child would vomit, and 
again scream for more,”—and In all these were 
symptoms, and craving for more, which must 
create pity tor the poor, lost, adult creatures who 
cannot resist the thirst for poisonous stimulants. 
If tho 1 filled states had an enemy, which se¬ 
duced her young men into being enemies too, not 
only of the country at large, but even going so 
far as to cause them to rob wives and families, 
and often ruin fathers and mothers, and in thou¬ 
sands Of cases rob treasuries, banks, Insur¬ 
ance offices, aud who, also, often brought the 
fairest daughters of this land Into disgrace and 
misery, committing all sorts of crimes on unof¬ 
fending citizens, would not every hand bo raised 
for annihilating the enemy, even at the cost of a 
seven year’s war ? Yet here is an enemy In our 
midst, who takes the brightest intellects and 
makes of them driveling Idiots, takes virgins aud 
makes of them revolting street walkers, makes 
many honest men turn rogues, and drives thous¬ 
ands to suicide, murders, uxid deaths of disgrace¬ 
ful memory. 
Less than seven hours would pass a bill, where¬ 
by this horrible monster would be forever banish¬ 
ed from the glorious United States, tor, having 
once experienced the heavenly blessing of free¬ 
dom from this abomination, It would never, never 
be permitted to enter again. 
In conclusion, let one who has witnessed and 
experienced much evil of tho worst, kind, from 
only occasional Indulgence, beg every right-mind¬ 
ed man and womau to do everything possible by 
words and deeds to cause Instant action no de¬ 
lay ! No half-way measures! Remove the cause, 
and let the world see that a republican people 
can In all Its majesty rise up and sign the war¬ 
rant tor the death of Its worst enemy ! Vindkx. 
•-*-*-•-- 
A FEMALE CHEMIST. 
We often hear of women who unsex them¬ 
selves in appearance to engage m some mascu¬ 
line employment, such as that of a sailor or sol¬ 
dier, or e ten a farm hand. But a Russian journal 
