> >n J 
;«w J 
m niD! I 
ga •%»•» '; 
WITH 
AN ADVERTISING AGENT. 
We thought, says the Burlington Hawkeye, 
from the way he came into the oflioo, and 
elammed Ida cane down on the table, and took 
and apat on the stove, and said, “Well, Cully, 
how does the old thing work ?’’ that he was a 
circus agent: but his card .bowed him to be a 
modest, unpretending, advertising agent of a 
Wisconsin paper, lie had just come from Chi¬ 
cago, he said. 
We said, “Ah!” not because there was any 
particular brilliancy in the remark, but because 
that is what we generally say, with a rising ac¬ 
cent on the final syllable, when a man tells us he 
has been to Chicago. 
“ \es,' he said; he had been to Chicago. 
“ Had we a man up there ?" 
“ No," wo hadn't. 
“Well,” ho said, “ don’t send one there. Just 
a waste of time. 1’vo been there nearly throe 
weeks, and 1 just club myself every Umo 1 think 
what a fool I was to throw away so much time 
that I might have put in somewhere else toad- 
vantage.” 
“Didn’t he do anything in Chicago?” wo 
asked rather tunidly, for we began to see we 
were in the presence of a Master Mind. 
“Naw-w-w!" be snarled, in a most contemp¬ 
tuous tone ; “ hardly made exponses; didn’t pay 
salary. There three weeks, and only come away 
with $3,760 worth of ads. All cash, of course, 
aud that makes it a little hotter; but it didu t 
pay for all that time. How much Chicago ad¬ 
vertising are you carrying ?" 
We couldn’t tell him, indeed, without consult¬ 
ing the business manager; but we were coulldont 
that the Hawkeye had, at inside figures, at least 
three or four dollars’ worth of live Chicago ad¬ 
vertisement*. Wo began to think what a jewel 
this man must be on the business stall” of a daily 
paper. 
“ Was he going to 8t. Louis ?” we asked. 
He burst into a sort of derisive laughter, for 
all the world like the opposition benches in Con¬ 
gress. 
“ Been there,” he said, “ and aiu’t going back 
until times pick up a little. Deadest place you 
ever struck in your life. Nothing doing; just 
nothing. Why, 1 was there ten days—ton 
whole long days, as I’m a truthful man; aud 
only got—let me see—I'll givo you the figures.” 
Aud he pulled out his note-hook, and ran over 
the leaves and down long oolinnus of figures. 
“ \es, sir; I was in St. Louis ten days, to an 
hour, and only got $4,227.50, and £1,890.76 I 
have to take in trade, aud only £2,130 cash-in¬ 
advance ads. Don’t you send a man to St. 
Louis, if you don’t Want to pay his fare home.” 
“ Which way was lie going from Burlington ?” 
we asked, deeply Impressed. 
“ Oh, out along the line or the B. & M.,” he 
said; “ out to Omaha, and may lie out to Lincoln 
and up to Dos Moines.” 
" Now, don’t go there,” we begged him; 
don t go out that way at all. It won't pay you. 
We know this oounity, aud wo know you won’t 
make a cent on this trip.” 
“Why not?” ho asked, defiantly, and in a 
rather incredulous tone of couutenanco. 
“Because,” we said, “the Hawkeye had a 
man all through that country one day last week. 
It may appear incredible, but, sir, that man was . 
gone fifteen minutes, and came back with only 
•”r<2,000 casli ails., a couple of uational banks, 
six Nebraska farms, a Kansas cattlo-ranche, aud 
the Iowa State treasury, and the captain dis- I 
charged him fur not malting his wages. It's as 
dead as-” 
But he was gone, and we heard him down 
stairs asking the business manager if he thought 
it was necessary to import a thoroughbred liar to 
edit his paper. 
f, 
» •- - 
••• 
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