CUKVEO CLAMP - 
inclose 
State 
248 
THE RURAL 
-YORKER. 
Mit anil junior. 
SPARKS AND SPLINTERS. 
A pupil in an English school, when asked to 
define the word “ buttress,” wrote out its mean¬ 
ing, “ A female who makes butter.” 
“ You’kk a smart, follow,” sneered a lawyer to 
a witness the other day. “ I’d return the compli¬ 
ment if I wasn’t under oath.” replied the wit¬ 
ness. 
A i.itle boy of our acquaintance, who has just 
learned that the names of John and Jack were 
used interchangeably, took occasion, not unnat¬ 
urally to call his sister’s attention to a picture of 
“ Jack the Baptist.” 
The pupils in a school in Boston were asked 
to give in writing the difference between a biped 
and a quadruped. One boy gave the following : 
“ A biped has two legs and a quadruped has four 
legs ; therefore, the difference between a biped 
and a quadruped is two logs.” 
When James Boswell took Dr. Johnson to his 
father’s house in Hcotland, Lord Aucliinleek re¬ 
marked that. Jamie had brought an odd kind of a 
olilel wi'him. “Sir,” said BobwoII, “he is the 
grand luminary of our hemisphere—quite a 
constellation, sir.” “ Ursa Major, the Great 
Bear, I suppose,’ said the old judge. 
A young man homo from college wishing to 
inspire his little sister with awe for his learning, 
pointed to a star and said: “ Sis, do you see 
that little luminary ? Tt’s bigger than the whole 
world!” “No, taint," said Sis, “ Yes, it is,” 
declared the young collegian. “ Then why 
don't it keep of the rain ?” w as the triumphant 
rejoinder. 
“ Woedswokth," said Charles Lamb, “ one 
day told mo he considered Shalcspeare greatly 
ovoratcd. ' There is an immensity of trick in 
all Sbakspoaro wrote,’ he said, ‘ and people are 
taken by it. Now if I bad a mind I could write 
exactly hko Sbakspoare.’ So you see,’ proceeded 
Charlos Lamb quietly, * it was only the mind 
that was wanting.’" 
Tiikiik was silence in the school, says tho Dan¬ 
bury News. The teacher had struck tho hell 
calling attention, and every eye was bent upon 
her. This was a favorable opportunity for the 
spread of information, and one of tho little boys 
perceiving it, raised bis band. “ What is it, 
Johnny ?" asked the teacher. “ Tommy Miggs’s 
father’s cow lms got a calf,” shouted the excited 
youngster, his face aglow with the intelligence. 
The teacher wilted. 
A minister roadiug tho first lino or so of a 
chapter in the Bible, the clerk, by some mistake 
or other, read it after him. Tho clergyman read 
as followsMoses was an austere man, and 
made atonement for the sins of his people.” The 
clork, who could not exactly catch the sentence, 
reported it thus:—“ Moses was an oysteman, 
and made ointment for the shins of his people.” 
Again, “And the Lord smote Job with sore 
boils," as “ The Lord shot Job with four balls.” 
The following dialogue between a higb-falutin 
lawyer and a plain witness is a good hit at tho 
fashion of usiug big crooked wordB: 
“ Did tho dofondent knock tho plaintiff down 
with malice prepense ?” 
“ No, sir ; ho knocked him down with a flat¬ 
iron.” 
“ You misunderstand me, my friend ; I wish 
to kuow whether he attacked him with any in¬ 
tent!” 
“ O, no, sir, it was outside of the tent.” 
“ No, no ; I wish to know if it was a precon¬ 
certed affair?” 
“ No, sir: it was not a free concert affair, it 
w T as at a circus.” 
Manufact’g Company, 
Sandwich, DcZEalb Co., Ills. 
Album.’ I’alent ticlI-Fvedint Power Corn 
Shelter, (wkiely known tho Sandwich Shellers), 
ol eizos and capacities to suit all wants. 
GREATLY IMPROVED THIS SEASON. 
FARM HORsK POWERS of all sizes and most 
uilvuntugeoUB forms. HAND SHKLLKltS of litvh- 
<m made nf excellence In material and manufacture, 
bend for Illumined Circular*. 
J. I'. AlIAiMM. Mecretni’r. 
New and Best Terms 
I U a w ever offered to Club Organizers 
Lll I and Largo Consumers. 
TEAS AT WHOLESALE prices In lots to suit cus¬ 
tomers. All charges paid on $10 orders and upward. 
SEND FOR NEW PRICK LIST. 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA COMPANY, 
P. O. Box 6t)Ui. 31 and 33 Vesejr hi.. New York. 
HUNTING V8. FINDING. 
Tired Sportsman to Honest Farmer— 11 You told us there was good hunting in your woods, and 
we’ve tramped all over ’em and ha’in’t seen a live thing !’’ 
Honest Farmet —“Well, that’s all right I guess, for I’ve always been told that the less game 
there was the more hunting it took to find it!” 
nniara M This is u combination of 
L, 1 /m cardialiM* to supply orm- 
H £ /“% gurnets onlu throughout 
the I'm’frJ States with 
PI KK TEAS on the 
mutual principle, by getting up clubs. Scud for 
New Price-List. 
CONSUMERS’ IMPORTING TEA CO., 
P.O. Box 5609. No. 8 Church 8t., New York City. 
MANUFACTORY OF 
5»|2: GRIST MILLS 
portable mills, 
I For P“ riBor8 * Baw^Mlll 
from $80 up. Complete 
f Mill and BhoU.tr, $96. 
A hoy can grind and 
- 11 * k| , (>p k0 or ,j er , Adapt- 
id to any kind of suitable power. Self-oiling : Solf¬ 
eeding: Adjustable-balanced : Long hearings. 
NORDYKK, MARMON A CO., Indianapolis, Jnd. 
nun a and Revolvers. Illustrated Price List free. 
BUNS Great ITVste m Gun Work*. Pittsburg, Pa. 
Established in 1844. 
POWER 
Act ns Agent t-Keader if there is no agent for 
the Rural Ib your locality please become one by 
forming a club. It will vav. 
T Wcar Your Bands Out , 
BTTT TJHK HALL'S PATENT 
HUSKING GLOVES 
AND PIN8. 
MADE BETTER THAN EVER. 
r J e* 
®§ac 
K 
Ci ® 8 
8 (£ '<< 
H. M w 
Bft.® 
o ^ 
B 
fl) ^ • 
T on 
2 S S 
•3 cc 
i I'c 
Z, S« 
-d 
KOOK WALTER ENGINE. 
) Compact. substantial, economical, 
and easily managed. Guaranteed 
to work well and give full power 
claimed. Engine ami Roller com¬ 
plete, including Governor, Pump 
etc., at the low price of 
, 3-Horse Power.$210 
TAl !!* “ - 280 
jCm oh •• " mo 
v/wPut on oars at Springfield, Ohio. 
JAS. LEFFEL A CO., Springfield, 0. 
or 109 Liberty St., New York City. 
8end for Descriptive Circular. 
PRESS. 
WITH 
Double Platform 
BOOMER A BOSCHERT 
PRESS CO., 
Syracuse, N. Y. 
We ask your careful consideration of The Rural, and trust it will not 
remain a stranger in your family. Compare it closely with its competitors, 
and you will find that it is superior in every point that makes a paper Uesi- 
rable to the Farmer and in the Household. 
You will note that it holds all its old features, while adding valuable 
new ones, and at no time in its existence of nearly thirty years has it bee#i 
as prosperous and vigorous as at present. 
We desire to welcome you once again in the Rural Family, «nd extend 
a cordial invitation by this means. 
Our subscription price is, as formerly, $2.50 per annum, or $2 in clubs 
of five or more, but we specially appeal to you, under the circumstances, in 
the following offer : 
We will send The Rural, commencing at any time, for 
SIX MONTHS for.$1.30 
THREE MONTHS for - - - - -65 
Thus giving you an opportunity to again take The Old Rural on trial, 
and if you like it as well as or better thau formerly, you will be enabled to 
renew your subscription for a year at the expiration of the short term. 
If you kuow of any agent in your neighborhood, we should prefer to 
have you subscribe through the agent; if not, we shall be happy to receive 
your subscription direct. 
Wc earnestly bespeak your influence for The Rural among your friends; 
and if you should desire to make it to your pecuniary advantage by accept¬ 
ing an agency, we will supply Premium Lists, Posters and Sample Copies, 
as desired. 
This offer is special, and made to our old-time friendsand Bubscnbers 
We hope they will meet it in a liberal spirit, and reinstate The Rural amoi g 
their household gods. Truly, 
THE RURAL PUBLISHING COMPANY, 
Publishers of Rural New-Yorker, 
m.__ ca limn Vnrlf 
ORDER COUPON. 
Cut out this Coupon and send it with your order and remittance. Remit in ^aft Money 
or Bettered Letter, or by Express. Money sent by any other means at your risk. 
RURAL PUBLISHING CO., 7S Duane St., New York : 
Please send me Rural New-Yorker, according to your offer, 
, for which I 
months, commencing 
in payment 
Name.: 
Post-Office 
Countv: 
■ MM a 
TO YOU, READER! 
Ho! Farmers for Iowa. 
Terms, by the Iowa 1C* R. I$utul to. ludww 
and soil first-class, and adapted to grain, corn ana 
grazing* Tickets free to lund-buyers from Chicago 
and return. Address J« II. CAJLliOUN* I-*and 
Commissioner, 9*4 Rundolpli Cmeago, or Cedar 
Kapids, Iowa. 
