▲ nd lU John uict 
DEAR, DEAR! 
Oh, dear! what can the matter be ? 
Dear, dear! what can the mutter be T 
Oh, dear! what can the matter be — 
Turkey is chasing t he Bear ! 
He promised to pommel the Turks in a minute, 
And now the Bear scoots—why the mischief is in it! 
His ears droop, although he was lirst to begin it, 
He's running away, I declare ! 
Dear, dear! what can the matter be ? 
Don’t yon think Bearie ever will fatter be ? 
Prospects of Victory couldn't much flutter he 
It' he was dead in his lair, 
He promised to make It a midsummer ramble, 
lie promised to go last as pony could amble, 
He promised to gobble up Sliumla and Htamboul, 
And knock down the minarets there. 
Dear, dear! what can the matter be ? 
Why should the Turkey as mad as a hatter be ? 
Where can the Bear who was going to spat her be? 
Turkey is chasing the Hear! [ Graphic, 
SPARKS AND SPLINTERS. 
Dress fringes are nowoolored with “ madder.” 
This makes a sort of delirium “ trimmins ” of 
them, you know. 
A youngster who had beeu stung by a bee 
told his father he had kicked a bug that had a 
splinter in its tail. 
“ A cast-iron grandmother ” is not an appro- 
brious epithet. It is simply the trade-name for 
knitting stockings. 
They are called “Indian Supply contracts,” 
because the supplies always contract before they 
reach the Indians. 
A newspaper in Switzerland says: “Miss 
Mollio Maguire, of Pennsylvania, has been hung 
for misbehaving.” 
Soft words are said to coHt nothiug, but the 
old fellow who has just paid £20,000 to settle a 
breach of promise case thinks differently. 
“I’ll call to-borrow,” said the man with a 
cold in his head, as he went out of a doctor’s 
olfice. “No, you needn’t,” was the reply. “I 
never lend.” 
What is the difference between a poor guu 
and a borrowed masquerade costume ? One is 
tired and doesn’t hit, and the other is hired and 
doesn’t tit. Puck, 
A home thrust. Dootoi’.—“Now tell me, 
Colonel, bow do you feel when you’ve killed a 
man?” Ooloue).—“Oh! very well, thank you. 
Doctor. How do you ?” 
Gail Hamilton is the Mount Vesuvius of 
womanhood.—| Graphic. And it is reported 
that no man has ever beeu near the mouth of 
the crater. [ Chicago Journal. 
A farmer was asked why ho did not take the 
newspaper. " Because,” said he, “ my father, 
wheu he died, left me a good many newspapers, 
and I have not read them through yet.” 
“ Och,” said a love-sick Hibernian, ” what a 
recreation it is to be dying of love! It sets the 
heart aching so delicately there's no taking a 
wink of sleep for t he pleasure of the pain !” 
A you.no man woke up the other night and 
saw a ghost.in his room. Seizing his six-shooter, 
he approached it, and found it was his collar, 
which happened to be standing on the floor. 
We are informed by a London society paper 
that the ex-Empress Eugenie “ia enjoying the 
society or Cowes." The fact that we long ago 
swore off indulging in slang prevents ns from ob¬ 
serving that she must have a “ bully ” time. 
“The millennium has come,” said a lion to a 
lamb; “suppose you come out of the fold, and 
let ns lie down together, as it has often been 
foretold we should!” “ Been to dinner to-day ?” 
inquired the lamb. “ Not a bite of anything 
since breakfast," was the reply, “ except a few 
leau swino, a saddle or two, and some old har¬ 
ness." “I distrust a millennium,” said the 
lamb, thoughtfully, “ which consists in our lying 
down together. However, you may go over 
yonder sunny hill, and lie down until I come.” 
TO OUR READERS AND FRIENDS. 
It has bc-en the custom of The Rural New-Yorker, as it is of many other journals, as the 
year grows old, to give considerable space to its own advertising, for the purpose of increasing its 
subscription lists for the new year. So far as our reading columns are concerned, we propose to 
discontinue this custom, and to rely upon other methods of accomplishing the same results. Fore¬ 
most among them iH our hope to make The Rural a better paper than it, has ever been before -to 
introduce new features, and to secure a grade of talent, in all its many departments, that shall 
create for it a demand and a kindly recognition, not only throughout our own country, but wher¬ 
ever the English language is spoken. Several circumstances, of a somewhat singular character, 
combine to render this aspiration practicable. 
The financial condition of The Rural Nkw-Yorkrr is such that, even in these trying times, 
and at this most trying part of the year, it is utterly free from debt. This, even though there 
should be no further increase in the subscription lists, beyond past years, enables the proprietors 
to begin the new year with ample pecuniary ability to carry out a part, at least, of their plans. 
The Rural Grounds now comprise eighty-two acres, a greater part of which is designed for 
experimental agriculture- -the rest for horticulture. All new trees, shrubs and smaller plants ; all 
vegetables and fruits of promise that come within our knowledge, will be faithfully tested, and the 
results impartially made known. 
Seeds of favorite, easily-cultivated ornamental plants will be—as they have been during the 
past, summer—raised and gathered for free distribution among our subscribers and friends. The 
announcement of those we are nearly ready to distribute will be made in our issue of Nov. 10th. 
Wo earnestly desire in every way to strengthen the friendly rcla ions between The Rural and its 
readers, and this seed distribution, and our intention to distribute certain plants iu the same way, 
before 1870, arc respectfully offered as substantial evidences of sincerity on our part. We believe, 
further, that he who strives to effect a higher—a more general—appreciation of horticultural prac¬ 
tice, is engaged in a praiseworthy work. 
The Rural is referred to, for the most part, as a farmer's paper. So it is. But in no secta¬ 
rian sense. Agriculture is hut oue department of the farmer’s pursuits. While The Rural pro¬ 
poses to till its department of agriculture with the best thoughts of our most original and practical 
writers, adapted to all sections—it shall consider, iu no less a degree, every department appertain¬ 
ing to the farmer’s life and welfare, and to those of his wife and family. It is no more the farmer's 
paper than it ia the paper of the suburban resident or of the citizen whose thoughts, sickened with 
the monotony of city life, turn for relief to a study of the fields and woods, the garden and trees— 
from a more practical knowledge of which he is, in a great measure, deprived. While, therefore, 
we shall seek to help the farmer to pursue his work with less labor and with greater results, we, 
above all, direct ourselves to the general well-being of all people, whether living in the city, its 
suburbs, or in the country, who love to see plants grow, or who are iu any wise interested in their 
study or culture. 
We invite all nurserymen, florists, farmers or horticulturists to send us specimens of new at d 
excellent products, whether of grain, roots, fruits or flowers, that we may have them engraved and 
published for the benefit of all. 
We also invite our readers to suggest topics about which they desire information. Generally 
a topic upon which one person desires light is a topic of interest to all. 
Finally, we would say to our readers, once for all: We desire to please you. If successful, 
use your influence iu behalf of The Rural with your friends. Any assistance of this kind will help 
us the better to please you. But, in spite of all our words, The Rural must speak for itself# We 
ask not your interest based upon what it is going to be—but upon what it is to-day. Examine it 
and examine other periodicals before you subscribe for another year; and if the comparison is 
unfavorable to The Rural, we ask not your support. 
The original drawings— by Messrs. Forbes, Graether, Hockstein, and other distinguished 
artists—of animals, trees, shrubs, buildings, etc., etc., will be continued, and more numerous than 
ever before. 
Touching writers for another year, something may already be judged. As we have found il an 
excellent rule to guide us in all things—we propose to furnish more than we promise, our plans 
for another year are many. Let time unfold them. 
That persous who do not read The Rural may be induced to do so, we offer, for the present, 
three-month subscriptions. 
We are always happy to seud specimen copies free to all who apply. Indeed, we solicit such 
applications. 
’m Wear Your Hands Out , 
BUT USE HALL’S PATENT 
1 HUSKING GLOVES 
A N 1 > |> | NS. 
made better than ever. 
Men's Kill I Husking Gloves, per pair .... $2 00 
" V " “ . 1 75 
Half *• “ •* . 1 oo 
Single Point Husking Pins. 15c. each : 4 for 50c. 
Double ” •• •• 15c. “ 4 “ 50c. 
peel by mull, prepaid, on receipt of price, to any 
address. A sk yonr merchant for them, or address 
HALL HUSKING GLOVE COMPANY, 
145 No. Cl in IOI, St. Chicago, III. 
A Tills tan combination of 
S’ Kc /fa capitalists to supply c<m- 
II m m minus onlu throughout 
the I'nilra SlfttfK with 
. , , , , PURR TEAM on the 
mutual principle, by getting up clubs. Send for 
New Price-List. 
COiWflKK.V IMPORTING TEA CO., 
f.O. Box 5500. No. s Church St., New York City. 
fill&IQ and Revolvers. Illustrated Price List free. 
U U n Gnat ITVsfem Gun IPoi/cs, Pittsburg, I'a. 
I X L FEED MILL. 
Jw*, Utli viler Is »ol at *71 c7«tr. 7 <*n livlnr ore* cianDf in A vith 
tke xukrd ey*. O* up nnd tr« if there'* anything in’the cktcjnn'* 
44 John, my hoy. It’* very «tswng* that Jan# fl.** not return from the d*t*ru 
• n ■ very RtraiiRP u.ux ,i»n* out# not return f 
Oo up and w?e If lhrt«'« anything the matter. 
This is the cheapest, most effective and durable 
Iron Feed Mill ever placed Oo the market. Runs 
with less power, find has a capacity ot from 10 to 25 
bu. of good feed per hour, according to size. All its 
parteaio In uttplicutc, so that repairs mu be cheaply 
made, i he Blinding plates arc of white Chilled 
Iron, and can bo reversed, one set doing the work 
ul two. 
Every Mill warranted. Senti for Illustrated Caf 
Indue and Price List. 
U. S. WIND ENGINE k PUMP CO., 
BATAVIA, ILL. 
PRINTING PRESS! 
Prints Cards, Envelopes, &o.. 
equal to any Press. Larger sizes fprMT trk is 5A 
large work. Onyiturowii print in yinul r- hhLs«- i 
advertl*hi(ia,itltiavt moi.r*. Excellent \ h'daes*- / 
spare-hour amusement for old "r VkTt a,/ 
young. Or it can be made no •m u -r ,;- ) >~aa|0p v 
m'lt o ij business anywhere. Send :,e. I J;!. , T L‘. I 
stamps for large t atuloguc*. to |CLNTENNIflL| 
Kiel ,sky & CO., Manufacturers. Meriden, Conn. 
Wind Hill World Eclipsed. 
(See Jury report of Centen¬ 
nial Award)—“ Strongest 
Wdml-Luglm* made.” 
Tested 9 yrs. 4,IKK) in use. 
PERM BTLY SEIMEQUIATINO. 
A solid Wheel Mill, with no 
loose joints or sections to 
blow in pieces, and 15 per 
et more powercuarunteed. 
We build I s -Izew Mills. Send 
for II hittl'llCircular. Address 
C. IL SA I .VOX, BtiO’y Beloit,Wis. 
a fu&x* SjZjste or 
CIDER MACHINERY. 
BOOMER & BOSCllERT PRESS CO., 
Syracuse, N. Y. 
Aci ns Auent I—Reader it there is no agent for 
the Rural in yonr locality please become one by 
forming a club. Itwillvav. 
"ICli wnr ertrtOT&Iaary I hVilher tb* Hmwtniid nor 
coy *on mi mtm»dJ X-will gw myttlt and *m\” 
.Anaho went up; and * Lisin* Ontmant, wIi.a bod rlutl.d tU flltfmUon ut 
Abe WuUr Cora j any— 
▲ad that unhappy Jane vrat uj\ 
Manutact g Company, 
Sandwich, DeKalb Co., Ills. 
Adam** Patent Self-Feeding Power Corn 
Micllrra [widely known os the Sandwich Shelters), 
ol -Izositnd capacities suit nil wants. 
GREATLY IMPROVED THIS SEASON. 
FARM HORNE POWERS of all sizes and most 
advantageous forms, it A ND NHELLKRs of high¬ 
est grade of excellence In matcriu) and manufacture. 
Send for Illustrated Circulars. 
.1. P. ADAMS, Secretary. 
TEAS REDUCED 
OUR TERMS ARE THE BEST. 
Send for our New Reduced Price List.. 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA COMPANY, 
P. O. Box 5M:i, ■<! and ..a Ycsey tit., New York. 
