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IIDER PRESSES ANIJ GRATERS. 
Boom j£u & Boschxrt Press Co., Syracuse, N.Y, 
SRit aitir iattmor. 
SPARKS AND SPLINTERS. 
Tait Phillistines arc not the only people on 
record who were jawed to death. 
Two oyster* in a gallon of lukewarm fluid at a 
church fair are no longer called stews, but 
aquariums. 
vVok to the inexperienced little fish who goes 
Out to enjoy himself ou his own hook. [ Wor¬ 
cester Press. 
New Madrid, Missouri, claims to be the geo¬ 
graphical oenter of the earthquake circle. Glad 
to hear it—shake. 
Why is Hymen represented with a torch ?—To 
throw a light on those little imperfections to 
which Love is blind. 
They have dime savings batiks in Chicago — 
banks that savo for depositors a dime out of 
every dollar. [ i yorcester Press. 
“Was his life insured ?" “Yes.” “For 
whoso benefit?" “ Why, for the benefit of the 
insurance company, to be sure.” 
Never borro ennything that yu are able to 
buy. Borrowing will demoralize a man almost 
az fast az Htealing.— Josh Billings. 
“ I think your chnroh will la*t a good many 
years yet,” said a waggish deacon to hi* minister; 
“ J soo tbe sleepers are very sound." 
“ An. parson, I wish I could carry my gold 
with me,” said a dying man to his pastor. “It 
might melt," was the consoling answer. 
“ Isn’t your husband a little bald ?” asked one 
lady of auother, tbe other day. 1 ‘ There Isn’t a 
bald hair in his head,” was the hasty reply. 
Boston has discovered how to can baked beans, 
and views with indifference the removal of the 
North American Review to New York. [ New 
Bedford Mercury. 
“ Why do you use paint?” asked a violinist of 
bis daughter. “For the same reason that you 
use rosin, papa." “How is that?" “ Why, to 
help mo draw my beau." 
Tjtf.y are trying to kiss by telephone in New 
York and Now Jersey. The Benaation must be 
something like startiug out for a clam-bake din¬ 
ner and getting nothing but fog. 
“ Don’t you think," said a husband in a mild 
form of rebuke to bis wife, “ that women are 
possessed by the devil?" “Yes,” was the 
answer, “ as soou as they are married.” 
We are not surprised to loaru that wben Job 
had seven boils ou the hack of his neck, he went 
along the street as if he were looking for a thou- 
Band dollar gold pieoO.— Daily Derrick. 
Paterfamilias —" To-morrow is tbe tutor's 
birthday; dow what can I get him for a birthday 
present ?” Charley—“ Get him a muzzle papa; 
he's always biting the governess’ cheek-" 
Tjjk Hartford Times is moved to laughter be¬ 
cause tbe Courani announced the death of a 
gentleman, forty-seven years old, who had been 
a subscriber for that paper for fifty years. 
What agonies must the poet have endurod 
who, writing of her love, asserted that he 
“ kissed her under the silent stars,” and found 
the compositor had made him declare that he 
“ kicked her under tbe cellar stairs." 
An old author quaintly remarks : “ Avoid ar¬ 
guments with ladies. In 1 spinning yarns* 
among silks and satins a man is sure to become 
twistod and worsted ; and when a man is worsted 
and twisted he may consider himself wound 
up." 
No one can hotter appreciate the fact tbe world 
is full of hollow mockeries, than the man who 
prepares a lecture with tbe title “ How to Get 
Rich.' and then cannot make enough money by 
it to pay bis hotel bills.—Turner’s Fall lie- 
porter. 
An exquisite, leading a dog by a string, 
lounged up to the ticket office window of a rail¬ 
way station last week, and inquired: “ Must I— 
aw—take a ticket for a puppiy ?" He was na¬ 
turally both surprised and annoyed when the 
ticket seller atmwered, in a slightly bewildered 
tone, after a moment’s reflection : “ No, you can 
travel as an ordinary passenger." 
A Correspondent asks the Burlington Hawk- 
eye, “Do you think it is wicked to smoke?" 
And tbo Hawke.ye replies, “ Oh, dreadfully, 
awfully, sinfully wicked. Send your segars to 
this office and let us burn them for you, while 
yon swear off and reform. It is too late for 
us. Wo went to swear off last week, but the of¬ 
fice was closed and the inau had gone to a picuio/' 
A ladt stopped the milkman as he was pass¬ 
ing the house the other day and inquired the 
price of milk by the quart, putting up her ear 
trumpet to catch the reply. The milkman drew 
a quart of milk and emptied it into the trumpet, 
and tho result has been that he has to go a mile 
out of his way to keep out of sight of the lady, 
who sits on the front porch with a shot gun 
watching for him to pass. 
PATENT APPLIED FOR. 
A new idea searcher adapted to the needs of Editors 
TO OVR READERS ANR FRIENDS 
It has been tho custom of The Rural New-Y’oukkr, as it is of many other journals, as the 
year grows old, to give considerable space to its own advertising, for the purpose of increasing its 
subscription lists for tho new year. So far as our readiug columns are concerned, we propose to 
discontinue this oustom, and to rely upon other methods of accomplishing the same results. Fore¬ 
most among them is our hope to make The Rural a better paper than it has ever been before—to 
introduce new features, and to secure a grado of talent, in all its many departments, that shall 
create for it a demand and a kindly recognition, not only throughout our own country, but wher¬ 
ever the English language is spoken. Several circumstances, of a somewhat singular character, 
combine to render this aspiration practicable. r 
The financial condition of The Rural New-Yorker is such that, even in these trying times, 
and at this most trying part of the year, it is utterly free from debt. This, even though there 
should be no further increase in the subscription lists, beyond past years, enables the proprietors 
to begin the new year with ample pecuniary ability to oarry out a part, at least, of their plans. 
The Rural Grounds now comprise eighty-two acres, a greater part of which is designed for 
experimental agriculture- -the rest for horticulture. All new trees, shrubs and smaller plants ; all 
vegetables and fruit* or promise that come within our knowledge, will be faithfully tested, and the 
results impartially made known. 
Soeds of favorite, eaRily-cnltivated ornamental plants will be— as they have been during the 
past summer—raised and gathered for free distribution among our subscribers and friends. The 
announcement of those we are nearly ready to distribute will be made in our issue of Nov. 10th. 
Wo earnestly desire in every way to strengthen the friendly relations between The Rural and its 
readers, and this seod distribution, and our intention to distribute certain plants in the same way, 
before 1870, are respectfully offered as substantial evidences of sinceri ty on our part. We believe, 
farther, that he who strives to effect a higher—a more general—appreciation of horticultural prac¬ 
tice, is engaged in a praiseworthy work. 
The Rural is referred to, for tho most part, as a farmer’s paper. So it is. Bat in no secta¬ 
rian sense. Agriculture is but one department of tbe farmer’s pursuits. While The Rural pro¬ 
poses to fill its department of agriculture with tho best thoughts of our most original and practical 
writers, adapted to all sections—it shall consider, in no less a degree, every department appertain¬ 
ing to tbo farmer’s life and welfare, and to those of his wife and family. It is no more the farmer's 
paper than it is the paper of the suburban readout or of the citizen whose thoughts, sickened with 
the monotony of city life, turn for relief to & study of tho fields and woods, the garden and trees— 
from a more practical knowledge of which he is, in a great measure, deprived. While, therefore, 
wo Bhall seek to help tho farmer to pursue his work with less labor and with greater results, we, 
above all, direct oursolves to the general well-being of all people, whether living in the city, its 
suburbs, or in tbe country, who lpve to see plants grow, or who are in any wise interested in their 
study or culture. 
We invite all nurserymen, florists, farmers or horticulturists to send us specimens of new and 
excellent products, whether of grain, roots, fruits or flowers, that we may have them engraved and 
published for the benefit of all. 
We also inrite our readers to suggest topics about which they desire information. Generally 
a topic upon which one person desires light u a topic of interest to all. 
Finally, we would say to our readers, ouce for all: We desire to please you. If successful, 
use your influence in behalf of The Rural with your friends. Any assistance of this kind will help 
us the better to please you. But, in spite of all our words, The Rural must speak for itself. We 
ask uot your interest based upon what it is going to be—but upon what it is to-day. Examine it 
and examine other periodicals before you subscribe for another year; and if the comparison is 
unfavorable to The Rural, we aBk not your support. 
The original drawings—by Messrs. Forbes, Graether, Hockstein, and other distinguished 
artists—of animals, trees, shrubs, buildings, etc., eto., will be continued, and more numerous than 
ever before. 
Touching writers for another year, something may already be judged. As we have found it an 
excellent rule to guide us in all things—we propose to furnish more than we promise. Our plans 
for another year are many. Let time unfold them. 
That persons who do not read The Rural may be induced to do so, we offer, for the present, 
three-month subscriptions. 
Wo are always happy to send specimen copies free to all who apply. Indeed, we solicit such 
applications. 
O llftl O and Revolvers. Illustrated Price List free. 
UURa Great WesUrn, Gun Work*, Pittsburg, Pa. 
For pamphlet lully explaining the abov 
i 11 u Ml ration, address 
THE LAMB KNITTING MACHINE CO., 
Chicopee Falls, llnio. 
SANDWICH 
This Is tho cheapest, most effective ond durable 
Iron Feed Mill ever placed on the market. Runs 
with less power, and hag« capacity ol from 10 to 26 
bu. of good feed per hour, according to size. All Its 
part* are tn duplicate, so that repair* can be cheaply 
made. The grinding plates are of White CHIt.LED 
Iron, and can be reversed, one set doing tho work 
Of two. 
Every Mill warranted. Send for Illustrated Cata¬ 
logue and Price List. 
U. S. WIND ENGINE & PUMP CO,, 
IIATAVIA, ILL. 
Wind Mill World Eclipsed. 
^ (Sec Jury report of Centen- 
otal A ward)—** Strongest 
Wind-Engine made.” 
Tested B yrs. 4,ii(X) tn use. 
PERHOTLV SElF-nOUlATING. 
A solid Wheel Mill with no 
loose Joints or sections to 
blow in piece*, and 16 per 
ct. more power guaranteed. 
We build 1 ft sizes Mills. Send 
forlllust’dCIroular. Address 
C. B. HA 1 .MON,dec'y Beloit,Wls. 
rvtqn m This i* a combination of 
'B' Kb #V capitalists to supply con- 
LA ka turners only throughout 
™ the Untied Sonet with 
PURE TEAS on the 
mutual principle, by Retting up clubs. Send for 
New Price-List. 
CONSUMERS' IMPORTING TEA CO., 
P.O. Box 5509. No. 8 Church 8t., New York City. 
THE 
334 
URAL NEW-YORKER. 
Manufact’g Company, 
Sandwich, DeKalb Co., Ills. 
A'lum** Parent Sell-Feeding Power Corn 
Sbellerw (widely known as the Sandwich libellers), 
of sizes and capacities to suit all want*. 
GREATLY IMPROVED THIS SEASON. 
FARM HORSE POWKUS or all sizes and most 
advantageous form*. HAND SREL1.KR8 of high¬ 
est grade of excellence In material and manufacture. 
Send for Illustrated Circular*. 
.1. P. ADAMS, Meeretary. 
I X L FEED MILE 
15" Please mention Ru 
PRINTING PRESS l 
T 1 ' Prints Cards, Envelopes, Ac., 
equal to mu,-Press. Larger sizes for •>’ to. k rH 
large work. On your ownprint tny and MtvNli' J 
advertistnynndsave money. Excellent 1 v 1HBP / 
snare-hour amusement for old or T : - r 
young. Or it can be made money - rifTMl'en 
making business anywhere. Send 3c. UrMTrNNIAT I 
stamps for large ' dialogue, to | Lt-W ic-rcrwm j 
KELSEY A OO.. Manufacturers, Meriden. Conn. 
TEAS REDUCED 
OCR TERMS ARE THE B.EST. 
Send for our New Reduced Price List. _ 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA COMPANY, 
P. O. Box GM. 31 and 33 Ve»ey St., New York. 
