& ORGANS 
SFABKS AND SPLINTEB8 
The cucumber gracetb the festal board 
Enshrouded in condiments rare, 
And the epicure gleefully rubbeth his paunch 
At the sight of the treasure there. 
The doctor smilctb a sad-like smile 
And giveth a crocodile groan. 
And the marble man goeth out the while 
And polisbeth up a stone. 
The undertaker mournfully asks 
" What will his measure be t" 
And tbe sexton marlieUi a spot “ reserved” 
All under the willow tree. 
’Tie bard the times and ’tie scarce tbe cash— 
And so with a zestful Joy 
We welcome waft to the fitful fruit 
That giveth tbe folk employ. 
rst Louis Journal 
An Irishman being asked why he wore his 
stockingB the wrong side outwards, replied it 
was because there was a hole on the other side. 
Wilson, the celebrated vocalist, was upset 
one day in his carriage near Edinburgh. A 
Scotch paper, after recording the accident said : 
We are happy to state he was able to appear 
the following evening in three pieces. 
“ You are fond of tea,'" remarked a boarding¬ 
house mistress to a boarder who had passed 
over his cup to be filled the third time, “ very 
fond of tea!" He replied, “I should think I 
was, or I wouldn’t be willing to drink so much 
water to get so little of it!’’ 
“ Mamma,” asked a resident youngster,“ is our 
old hen going to be sent away for the summer! ” 
“I guess not, my Bon," she replied; “but why 
do you ask such a question ?” “ Because I heard 
pa tell our hired girl that they would have such 
a sweet time when he Bent his old hen away for 
the summer.” 
The fashion reporter who wrote with refer¬ 
ence to a belle: “Her feet were encased in 
shoos that might be taken for fairy boots” tied 
his wardrobe up in a handkerchief and left for 
parts unknown when it appeared the next morn¬ 
ing : “ Her feet were encased m shoes that might 
be taken for ferry-boats-” 
A Couple were married in Georgia by a jus¬ 
tice of the peace. Unto the man he said , “Sir, 
will you have the beloved woman you hold by 
the right hand, in tbe name of the State of 
Georgia, Oobb county, and the new constitution, 
whether it he adopted or not, to be vour lawful, 
wedded wife ? ” And to the woman he said: 
“ Madam, will you take this man to be yonr law¬ 
ful husband, under the Constitution of the 
United States and the constitutation of the State 
of Georgia, no matter who is President ?" 
At a happy spot where a number of negroes 
reside, an old negro was heard calling out 
to his wife : “Manda I Is you got dem chickens 
shut up in de smoke-house, like I told yer ? ’ 
“ No; an’ I like ter know what’s de matter wid 
you, that you’s so mighty tiokler ’ bout dem 
chickens all at once ?”she replied. “ Neber you 
mind. I know what’s de matter, and dat’s null 
till dem chickens is housed. When I hears dat 
dem niggars over dar in de next yard gwine to 
hab a party tomorrow night, I wants to be shore 
dat my chickens does’t ’tend it; you hear me ?” 
The chickens were at once locked up. 
The oldest, largest, and most perfect manufactor y in the U. S. 
Buffalo 
OUR TgRIHH AUK THK BEST. 
Send for our New Reduced Price List. 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA COM PAN V 
P. O. Box 5dt3. il and 38 Vesev St., New York. 
niFFOKIl’S SWINGING STANCHION. 
\JT Self-closing, self-fastening. First turm right In 
each town for 30 cts. in stamps. Knr Illustrated Cir¬ 
cular, address W. C. GIb’FOHD, Jamestown, N. T. 
This is a combination of 
■ I ' capitalists to supply con- 
l Burners only throughout 
the United mates with 
PURE TEAS on the 
mutual principle, by getting up clubs. Send for 
New Price-List. 
CONSrMERS’ IMPORTING TEA CO., 
P.O. Box S60H. No. 8 Church St., New Vork City 
A LESSON IIV SUBTRACTION. 
Aunt Bella —“ Now look here, Tommy. Suppose there were three Apples ou the Table. 
I take away Oue and leave Three?" Tommy .—“ Oh, No, Auntie! Certainly not!” 
Bella .—“ And why, Tommy ?” Tommy .—“ Because it wouldn't be Polite !” 
Could 
Aunt 
The Coquillard Wagon 
THE FARMER’S FAVORITE. i jmm 
Those Wagons are made of the best Wood 
und Iron to bo procured, and put together 
by tbe most experienced workmen. Every 
one warranted to give satisfaction, both in 
regard to quality of material and workman¬ 
ship. They are also noted for their light¬ 
ness of draft und ease of running. 
Carriages, Buggies and Sleighs 
Of superior workmanship always on hand. 
Send for Circular and Price List. 
A. COQUlLLAltD, 
South Bend, Ind. 
The afflicted can now he restored to perfect 
,, nllh and bodily energy, at home, without 
the use of medicine of any kind. 
PULVERMACIIEU’S 
The Best in the World 
4mth. Ready 1 Use 
FACTORIES I 
CLJi C/JAJA'H, 
-VA' U' I'OUH, 
cm cji a o, 
»T. LOUIS. 
Rubber Paint Co,: Dundee, N. Y. 
Gentlemen :All of our customers who have used 
your Paint, speak in the blgheBt terms of Its cover¬ 
ing capacity, cheapness atm beautiful glossy finish. 
We consider two coats of the Rubber Paiut fully 
equal to three coats of White Lead and Oil. 
Yours truly. M. E. BENNETT A CO. 
BOOTS, SHOES, HOSE, BELTS, ETC 
OFFICES AND FACTORIES: 
Cleveland, New York, Ctalctixo, St 
Send Jor Circular, Etc. 
Address NAIAD OIL AND BL'K 
J2T SEND FOR CIRCULAR, ETC. 
A lUantfest Absurdity. 
Ii, is manifestly absurd to claim lor a mere stim¬ 
ulant, tonic and alterative properties. Yet this 
is wliat Is dally done by the vendors of cheap 
local bitters, colored to make them look attract¬ 
ive, and agreeably flavored, but the alcoholic 
basts of which is of the vilest and most, hurtiul 
description. The transcendent success of Host ut¬ 
ter’s stomach Hitlers, the leading..iterative tonic 
of the United States, has induced many of these 
compounders of drams In disguise, to attempt the 
counterfeiting of tills standard medicine, but their 
efforts have never proved successful on a large 
scale, and they have themselves in many instan¬ 
ces notoriously “come to grler,” through the in¬ 
strumentality of the law. 
The genuine Bitters have, Indian!, a spirituous 
basis, but they are emphatically a medicine, since 
their botanic Ingredients arc signally efficacious 
in overcoming and preventing chills and fever, 
dyspepsia, liver complaint, constipation and many 
other disorders. 
KIN GSFORD’S 
Oswego Starch 
Is the BEST and MOST ECONOMICAL in the 
World. 
Is perfectly PURE —free from acids and other 
foreign substances that injure Linen. 
Is STRONGER than any other—requiring* much 
less quantity in using. 
Is UNIFORM—stiffens and finishes work always 
the same. 
and Revolvers, Illustrated Price Listfree- 
Great Western Gun Works, Pittsburg, Pa 
11DEK PRESSES AND GRATERS 
Boomer A boschbht Press Co., Syracuse, N.Y 
RECEIVED HIGHEST AWARD AT THE CENTENNIAL EXPOSITION. 
Important Features for the Season of 1878 
REDUCTION IN’ PRICE ! 
LIGUVr-EFt DRAFT: 
Li RUSH WEIGHT 
And Furnished with either Wheels or Roller. 
It hue been adopted, and can bo seen In pructlcul operation ou 
the Public I'lirliH of New York, Brooklyn, lionlon, New 
Ha vi a, Cleveland, Chicago, and on almost all the promi¬ 
nent Citv Park .4 tn tint United States mill Uanndu. 
The EXCELSIOR received the El It ST I* REM IUMH at 
the Great Luwii Mower Trials hold tn New York City, 
l ieveland, O., Waverly, N. J.; also at the Grem lult-riituiouul 
Lhw u Mower Trial held at Carlisle, England, In Septem¬ 
ber last, anil at many oltier trials und Agricultural Fairs held in 
in Europe and America, 
Six sizes for hand power: four sizes for horse power. 
Our New Horse Mower Is conceded to be the LIGHT¬ 
EST and BEST Horse Lawn Mower ever made. 
N. B.— HORSE and Band Lawn Mowers are alike guaranteed 
in every respect. Address 
0HADB0RN & GOLDWELL M’F’G 00. 
SEND FOR CIRCULAR. Newburgh, N.Y. 
The most pert col, simple and ONLY Elevator unit 
raises the hay from wagon and carries it In barn any 
required distance. Economical, durable, labor-sav¬ 
ing. Bend for Illustrated Circulars and prices to 
J. U. FITZHUGH, 
1708 Barker St., Philadelphia, Pa. 
Branch Office : 65 Beckman St.. New York. 
Avoid bogus appliances claiming elec¬ 
tric qualities. Our Pamphlet explains how to 
distinguish the genuine from the spurious. 
