s 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER. 
amor. 
WARM WEATHER POETRY. 
Oh, for a lodge in a garden of cucumbers! 
Oh, for an iceberg or two at control! 
Oh, for a vale which at midday the sun cumbers ! 
Oh, for a pleasure trip up to the pole! 
Ob, for a little one-story thermometer, 
With nothing but zeroes all ranged in a row ! 
Oh, for a big double-barreled hygrometer. 
To measure thiB moiBture that rolls from my brow! 
Oh, that this cold world were twenty times colder! 
rrbat’B irony, red-hot, it seemeth to me.) 
Oh, for a turn of its dreaded cold shoulder! 
Oh, what a comfort an ague would be I 
Oh, for a grotto to typify heaven. 
Scooped iu the rock under cataract vast! 
Oh. for a winter of discontent even! 
Ob, for wet blankets Judiciously cast! 
Oh, tor a soda fount spouting up boldly 
From every hot lamp-post against the hot sky ! 
Oh, for a proud maiden to look at me coldly, 
Freezing my soul with a glance of her eye! 
[Old Wail, revived by St. Louis Journal. 
-- 
How to remove weeds.—Marry the widow. 
At the depot the other day, a young man put 
©lit atilr 
OSBORN’S SULKY PLOW, 
the only Plowing Machine that has jn-oved a perfect 
success tn nil kinds of soil. Any kind of plow can be 
attnc-Nod. The plowman rldosnnd handles the plow 
with ease,regulating the depth and width of turrow. 
The draft lor the team is materially less, and the 
ordinary laborious mode of plowing is reduced to 
one of comfort and case. 
THE MEADOW KING MOWER, 
and other Agricultural Implements. 
GREGG & CO., 
Truiimnsburg, Tompkins Co., N. Y. 
1 FARMER WAA'TEI). -Thoroughly practical, 
who has bad experience In Improving und con¬ 
ducting a large stock and grain farm ; for n nlace of 
six hundred acres, where a thousand sheep and one 
hundred and fifty head of mlxud cattle are kept, 
butter made and hogs raised. A thoroughly practi¬ 
cal business farmer, who will make the farm pay. 
None need apply except those having capacity and 
previous expeitence, and must have undoubted ref¬ 
erence as to honesty, sobriety and capability. 
Address Hall, 53 Exchange Place, New York. 
his head out of the car window to kiss his girl 
good by, when the train pulled out so rapidly 
that he kissed an old African female at the next 
station. 
KIN GSFORD’S 
LATEST IMPROVED 
BUCKEYE 
C jXTrsmimi by Archimedes Johnson : “ Why 
do de colored man always attrack mo’ attention 
from assemblages ob people den the white brud- 
der do ? Gib her up ? Kaae the colored gemle- 
man is always de scenter of the group!’’ 
Who is it with funeral thread 
Comes slowly home and goes to bed. 
And utters what is best unsaid? 
'Tis he who's fished since rose the sun, 
Subsisting on a single bun. 
And after all's caught nary one. 
[AT. T. Forest and Stream. 
A man who was not clever at conundrums, in 
attempting to get off one at a tea party at his 
own house, became exceedingly mixed. He in¬ 
tended to ask the old question, “ Why is a 
woman like ivy ?” the familiar hut gallant an¬ 
swer to which is, “ Becanse the more you’re 
ruined the closer she clings.” But he put it, 
“ Why is ivy like a woman which none of the 
ladies could toll, and so the unfortunate man 
told them himself that it was “ Because the 
closer it dings the more you’re ruined.” 
A Heavy Load of Carp..— A little girl in the 
church at Ashland, Va., has been one of a band 
of workers to raise money to complete the 
church building. She had earned by her own 
work a considerable sum for a child, when a 
friend heard her express & great desire to own a 
canary bird. It was suggested to her that she 
could easily purchase one from her own purse. 
“ Oh!" she replied, “ I oan’t get a thing for my- 
seJf while I have that church on my shoulders.’ 
—Charlestown News. 
Where it is going to stop no one knows. 
Before “Grandfather’s Clock” is fairly run 
down, a music publisher advertises “ Grand¬ 
mother’s Chair.” and no doubt these will be 
followed by “ Grandmother’s Spectacles,” and 
“ Grandmother’s Sun-bonnet,” and “ Grand¬ 
father’s Bootjack,” and “ Grandmother’s Candle¬ 
stick," and all the other rubbish that once be¬ 
longed to the old folks, and was not disposed of 
at public sale thirty years ago .—Norristown 
Herald. 
-♦♦ ♦- 
Clear the Way. 
For the escape from the system of Its waste 
and debris, which, if retained, would vitiate the 
bodily llulds and overt,lirow health. That Im¬ 
portant channel of exit, the bowels, may be kept 
permanently free from obstructions by using the 
non-griping, gently acting and agreeable cathar¬ 
tic, Hostetler's stomach bitters, which not only 
liberates Impurities, but invigorates the lluing of 
the Intestinal canal when weakened by eoustlpa- 
tlon or the unwise use of violent purgatives. The 
stomach, liver and urinary organs are likewise 
reinforced and aroused to healthful action by 
this beneficent tonic and corrective, and every 
organ, fiber, muscle and nerve experiences a 
share of Its invigorating influence, Unobjection¬ 
able in flavor, a most, genial and wholesome med¬ 
icinal eilmillerit, and owing its efficacy to botanic 
sources exclusively, it is the remedy best adapted 
to household use on account of Its safety, wide 
scope and speedy action. 
ONLY TEN CENTS FOR ONE YEAR. 
The FRO BONO PUBLICO, a 24 Column 
Monthly Paper, will be sent to any address, one 
year, post paid, for only TEN CKN'i S. The BEST 
and i HEAPE3T Paper west ot New York, fry it. 
Address. G. W. MATTHEWS*, 
Paw Paw, Midi. 
JO ADVERTISERS!5£ 
tisPmeTYt*- ::i trip riinv-pHiwfcs ostho United Status and 
lJiimjniMn of Onrijvdfi. To furnish advertiut«ra with 
rohablo i?if rr.iatmii iY<>m*jrninff mnvMpapertt and their 
rates, and thus enuhln the itiOfcfc tntsxpormncod to select 
jnU Ili.Ter.tJy the mediums best adapted to any particu¬ 
lar porpoise, wi$ issue bemi-annual kiutionb of 
Ayer & Son’s Manual 
l OK AfVrUKTlSKRS. Itti fivo. pp. Gives the 
liiimou, circulation, and adrertiKino rutt»# of several 
thou Band newspapers in the United States and Oanadu, 
and contain* more information of value to an iulvurtiser 
loan can l>* found in any other publication. All lists 
carefully reviHud in each edition,find where practicable 
prions reduced. The Hpnoial ottera are nomurous and 
VtfTUBWWl.V advantageous. It jvjl] pay you to QX/imina 
m? i e spending any money in newspaper advertising. 
" he last edition will be sent postpaid to any address on 
receipt of 25 cents by N. W. AYER A: SON, 
Advertising Agents* Times Building, Philadelphia. 
Oswego Starch! 
Is the BEST and MOST ECONOMICAL in the 
World. 
Is perfectly PURE —free from acids and other 
foreign substances that injure Linen. 
Is STRONGER than any other—requiring 1 much 
less quantity in using. 
Is UNIFORM—stiffens and finishes work always 
the same. 
mm 
v : j y 
li.fewvvS') 
rcceitso*. 
ALICE ORGANS 
Manufactured by the LORING & BLAKE ORGAN C0„ 
of Worcester, Mass., and Toledo. O. 
The only organ made in which is successfully com¬ 
bined the following essential qualities of tone: power, 
depth, brilliancy, and sympathetic delicacy. 
The most exquisitely beautiful solo effects ever pro¬ 
duced. 
The only stop-action ever Invented that can not be 
disarranged by use. 
The only organ made with bellows capacity so great 
that it require# but little effort with the feet to supply 
all the air desired. 
The best made and most elegant cases in market. 
No shoddy ornaments used— nothing but solid u-ood. 
Every Organ fully warranted for fire years. 
Write to tis for Illustrated Catalogue and Price List, 
which will be mailed postpaid ou application. Address 
LORING & BLAKE ORGAN CO. 
Worcester, Mass., or Toledo, 0. 
THE BEST IN THE 
= WORLD- 
1 HEREBY WARN THE PUBLIC that the ma- 
L clilne advertised hydro. Ertel as the Economy May 
Press infringes and uses eight of my patents, ami lb \t 
said press Was copied from my designs on tlm records 
of the Patent Oiiiie, or from my machine'; In the licit!, 
and that they are thus a swindle upon the public. 
Either Ihe maker, seller or user ure liable, ami us the 
damage for infringing so many patent); will he Isrce, 
I propose to prosecute Ihe tatter as tun ally the most, 
responsible party, Moreover, the damages are largely 
occasioned by the defective opera!Inn of such Interior 
itiucklues, distortions of my patented designs; and the 
dirty ragg.-d hale* they put 11goo the (imikctie-lrrg my 
patented form of bale, not only prejudices my Interest!; 
seriously, but also damages the entire hay Interest, ot 
the country, as It will ruin the veputatlou of the Per¬ 
il! tun I Press and hale, which im'un-i several dollars 
css per tou ol lmy. Formerly Western May Whs at 
a discount and but little called for in Eastern 'markets, 
but the Perpetual Press has opened tip the markets ot 
the entire country In the Wcsterp farmer and shipper, 
and llie bales from these presses arc now round ami 
sell at an advanee tn all Eastern and Southern mar¬ 
kets; no one questions that it is the Perpetual Press 
that has done all this, then why prostitute its reputa¬ 
tion to the detriment of all concerned? The damages 
for infringing so many patents will be sure to cost the 
purchaser more than the press, and its use will be 
stopped. Why Join In such a steal when you can pur¬ 
chase the same machine Of me, the inventor, at the 
same prices, and with such improvements as to make 
them do good work and sustain the reputation and 
prices of the Perpetual Hay In the market? Purtles 
who appropriate the Inventions of other* seldom origi¬ 
nate anything themselves further than attaching some 
little side trap to the machine they pirate In order to 
get a patent on the side trap and make the public, be¬ 
lieve il is on the machine proper. Saul Ertel copied 
the machine hi question bodily, und the patents he 
claims are not on the machine proper hut on little 
traps attached to a feed door and the pole ufthe truck, 
neither of which could he utilized on u perfect press, 
and he has no authority to use m.v patented press to 
apply his side trap. 1 am not a novice In presses ami 
patents, hut have hud a 1 1 to experience and am pre¬ 
par'd to satisfy all Interested that I am entitled to 
all I claim, and. havin'! tho ability to do so, shall pro¬ 
tect my property to the Interest or the public and my¬ 
self. Do not regard tills as a scure us 1 volunteer to 
furnish evidence to satisfy-all upon application that 
the above Is a statement of facts, and In all fairness I 
nsktticpuhlle.lt I am not. entitled to some considera¬ 
tion for lay Improvements and the tienellt they have 
been to Ills buy interests of the country. Parties 
having Ihc-ve contraband presses will not be allowed to 
use them unions they settle with me, and, In addition, 
upply such of my Improvements us are required to 
make them do good work, anil turn out. hales that will 
not sell at a discount, thereby damaging the sale of our 
putenled bale In the market. Don’t be swindled, but 
semi to me for copies of my patent* before purchasing 
any horizontal liay press. Price of presses guaranteed 
the best In the world, and theuper ut prices than 
any other as a gift or no sain, from $15U upwards. 
Send for illustrated price list. 
/*. Address <_*. P. K. JDEDERICK, - v 
1 ■ Albany, JT.JE.7 
CIDER-MILL 
YODER FRESHES* AM» GRATER*. 
vv Boomiii & Bosch■ ur Pricks Co.. Syracuse, N.F 
fillUQ and Revolvers. Illustrated Price 1,1st free 
UUnOdmt I Vrstrrn Oun Works. Pittsburg, Pa 
THE UNION CHURN 
jpMiooi, 
TEAS 
t AT REDUCED PRICES. 
Introduced 13 years ugo and 
50.0<1 now In actual use. The 
UNION is the acknowledged 
standard Churn ot tiro country. 
Every Churn is warranted to 
give satisfaction or returned 
ut our cost. Easily operated, 
easily cleaned, and makes beau¬ 
tiful butter by the extra work¬ 
ing of the dasher on the but¬ 
ter while churning. Five sizes, 
churning from 3 to 25 gallons. 
Power Clinriis n specially. Address 
TIFFIN UNION CHURN CO.. Tlltln, Ohio. 
Another Great Reduction 
amm M M a IN PRICES. BEST INDUCE- 
L A \ ME NTS EVER OFFERED. 
L W SEND FOR NEW PRICE-LIST 
THE G-REAT AMERICAN TEA CO 
l* O- Box 5*14:1. ill ami :t; Vesev St., N. Y. 
A NY PA RT Y having a Farm to vent or Hell, situ¬ 
ate near New York, of say 75 or hit) acres, may 
find a customer by address!, g GEO. F. MASON, 
1280 Broadway, N. Y. 
Strawberry Plants. 
Iu Pots, or mu ol Pots, for Summer or Fall 
Planting. Price List tree. 
JOHN S. COLLINS, Moores town, New Jersey. 
.iiiusi;v k i:i> sw i meT 
Pigs—either sex—different ages, bred from best of 
stock, now ready. Price List free. 
JOHN S. COLLINS. Moorestown, New Jersey. 
FVPPV PressSffl; 
il V Ui I lfj.llli f j/yf vU‘, (Stfll-lnkor J* Larger sizes 
J hf ) < / jl Lor tiuffliiiiB, ylpiiMirp, viTUitg or old 
His Own Catalogue ol J‘n y iv, Vyi*?, Etc., 
_ . , f.. btifeyi fvr t muni-. K Kl.su V A Co. 
Printer. **CEis\^ Meriden,Conn 
nriKri A This leu combination of 
' | ■ k fm capitalist* to supply con- 
I 1 switters only throughout 
the United States with 
, . , PURE TEA* on the 
mutual principle, by getting up clubs. Send for 
New Price-List. 
COtmAItiKS’ IMPORTING TEA CO., 
P.O. Box 5609. No. 8 Church St., New York City 
The Beat Paper, and the Best Premiums to 
Agents, Is our motto. We Ignore Chromos and all 
other cheap colored pictures, preferring to put our 
money in the paper, and in Premiums to Agents 
TEAS 
