THE RURAL NEW-YORKER. 
AUS. 47 
Hit aaft Samar. 
SARCASM. 
I called one evening last autumn 
On a demoiselle “ treseau 
In conversation brave and Kay 
The time passed pleasantly away 
Till the hour had come to go. '. 
Then a pensive mood came o’er me; 
1 remarked with many a Bigb, 
“ The frost and cold will soon be here, 
The landscape changed to brown and sere. 
And all things green will die." 
She looked sweet and sympathetic, 
And the tear stood in her eye. 
As she murmured in a voice divine, 
Placing her lily hand in mine, 
“ I’m aorry, but—good-bye!" 
We saw a young man with two heads on his 
shoulder the other day, but didn’t consider it 
muoh of a curiosity. One belonged to his girl. 
An American tourist was visiting Naples, and 
saw Vesuvius during an ernption. "Have you 
anything like that in the New World ?” was the 
question of an Italian spectator. "No,” re¬ 
plied Jonathan,” hut I guess we have a mill-dam 
that would put it out in five miuutes !” 
The other day, as two newly-arrived Irishmen 
were walking up Kearney street, a pavement 
trap-door opened and a Chinese store-porter 
emerged. "Be gorra!” Baid one of them, "if 
the haythens haven’t got a tunnel olane thro’ 
frarn Chinee, bad luck to tliim !”—San Francis¬ 
co News Letter. 
That celebrated orchestra, the Katti, have 
commenced their open-air concerts for the sea¬ 
son. The attendance last evening was numer¬ 
ous, aud the old favorites were well supported 
by many promising amateurs. The programme 
included selections from Bawliui’s well-known 
master-piece, "Hear mo, gnaw ma,” aud Holy 
Bull’s sympathy, ou ze flat. Several bootjacks 
were thrown.— Coni'L Ado. 
Picnic Lemonade. —Here is a recipe for mak¬ 
ing picnic lemonade. First got your barrel. 
Then fill it with water. Don’t be mean, but 
put in plenty of water. Now throw a pound of 
white sugar into the barrel. Squeeze in a large¬ 
sized lemon. Don’t bo moan about the lemon, 
either, but put the whole of it into the barrel. 
Stir with a Jong polo, aud call the children up 
immediately. As fast as they drink, fill the 
barrel with cold water. The beverage thus 
made is cheap, aud is quite healthy. 
An enterprising editor in Germany got an 
idea of the sensational style in which some of 
our papers advertise their issues, and he tried it 
by sticking in his columns the mystic words 
"To-morrow afternoon.” It was on the after¬ 
noon of the next day that the emperor waB shot, 
and the luckless editor was arrested aud had 
hard work to convince the authorities that he 
was ail right. He is disgusted with the Ameri¬ 
can system, and says he will put no more dings 
in his paper any more for so .—Lowell Courier. 
A Hakd Case.— Enter youug hushaud, who 
throws himself into a chair, aud exclaims: 
" Whatl toothache again, Maria! I do call that 
hard upon a felior! Why, you had toothache 
when I left this morning! Aud here have I 
been at Epsom all day, with the jolliest lot o’ 
fellers ever got together in one drag, aud won a 
pot o’ money, and had no end of a jolly time, 
and I did think I should find something cheerful 
and jolly to greet a feller when I got home! 
And there you are!—toothache again ! 1 do call 
it hard upon a feller—precious hard! ”— Punch. 
Things not so generally kuown as they ought 
to he—That the eveuing song of the nightingale 
is uice, hut that the morning lay of the barn¬ 
door fowl is nicer. That the end of the longest 
wail is blubber. That ships are frequently put 
into staya, hut they only wear barnacles when 
they go to sea. Tuat some lovers’ quarrels be¬ 
gin, and that many end, with a smack. That, 
although one swallow may not make a summer, 
yet au inverted lack ou a chair will make one 
Bpring. That the real and only correct system 
of bookkeeping is—not to lend them. That it it 
very difficult to keep your own peace of mind if 
the wife of your bosom will insist on frequently 
giving you a piece of hers. 
(Serve nn InjuncLinn on Disease. 
By invigorating a feeble constitution, renovating 
a debilitated physique, and enriching a thin and 
lunutiitlous circulation with liostetter’s Stomach 
Bitters, the finest, the most highly sanctioned, 
and the most popular tonic and preventive hi 
existence. It strengthens the stomach, reme¬ 
dies torpor of the liver and bowels, and gives a 
nealthful Impulse to the socretlve and discharg¬ 
ing functions of the kidneys and bladder. Not 
only does It arrest aud prevent the recurrence 
of malarial fevers, but It lurnlshes the only ade¬ 
quate safeguard against them to persons who 
have never been atllloted with those maladies, 
but would ho liable to Incur them It medicinally 
unprotected, it eliminates from the blood cer- 
taiu impurities wlilob the most skillful patholo¬ 
gists asbslgn as the exciting causes or tnose ag¬ 
onizing complaints, rheumatism and gout, and 
It Is, moreover, an excellent remedy for an en¬ 
feebled or overwrought state of the nerves and 
for mental despondency. 
^ ‘Wi M I'm 
KIN GSFORD’S 
OSWEGO CORN STARCH, 
For Puddings, Blanc Mange, Cake, Etc. 
PURE AND DELICATE-PREFERABLE to BERMUDA ARROW ROOT. 
r w Inferior and spurious articles are often sold as Klngsford’s. _&i 
To avoid GROSS IMPOSITION see that T. KINGSFORD & SON Is on each Box and on 
eac-1). Package. 
ALACE ORGANS 
THE BEST IN THE 
-WORLD- 
Manufactured by the LORING & BLAKE ORGAN CO., 
ol Worcester, Maes., and Toledo, O. • 
The only organ made in which is successfully com¬ 
bined the following essential qualities of tone: power, 
depth, brilliancy, and sympathetic, delicacy. 
The most exquisitely beautiful solo effects ever pro¬ 
duced. 
The only Btop-action ever invented that can not bo 
disarranged by use. 
The onlv organ made with bellows Capacity so great 
that it requires but little effort with the feet to supply 
all the air desired. 
The best made and most elegant eases in market. 
No shoddy ornaments used— nothing hut solid wood. 
Every Organ fully warranted for five pears. 
Write to us for Illustrated ('atalogup and Price List, 
which will be mailed postpaid on application. Address 
LORINC & BLAKE ORCAN CO. 
Worcester, Mass., or Toledo; 0* 
Portable Turkish Bathi THE union churn 
A TURKISH BATH 
In Your Own Room 
For 5 Cents. 
ThlslHSocuredby a cheap 
apparatus recently pi tent¬ 
ed, Tor the production of 
Turkish and Vapor baths, 
at the cost, nr the alcohol 
that Supplies the heat. It 
lias oroved more effective 
than the ordinary Turkish 
Bath House In eradicating 
Rheumatism. Asthma, ca¬ 
tarrh, Skin Diseases, Dys¬ 
pepsia, and all Nervous 
and Debilitating Maladies. 
Pamphlet rree. 
Lubin’s Portable Turkish 
Bath Co., 68 E, 4th St., Cin¬ 
cinnati, 0. 
Another Great Reduction 
H pi a IN PRICES. BEST INDLJCE- 
L A V At ENTS EVER OFFERED. 
LHO SEND FOR NEW PRICE-LIST 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA CO 
P. o- Box 6643, 31 and 33 Vesey St,, N. Y. 
(l II hi O and Revolvers. Illustrated Price Llstfree 
liUlid Great Western Qun Works, Pittsburg, Pa 
AT REDUCED PRICKS. 
t? 553 Introduced 13 ye irs ago and 
; jniom^ gjQiy 80,0 v now in siotual use Thu 
|. --CHufl w_ -.BRyn union Is the acknowledged 
standard < 'burn ot the country. 
A.-|||Pj!3 Every Cliurn Is warranted to 
give satisfaction nr returned 
at our cost Easily operated. 
acHom If H easily cleaned, and makes beau- 
r ~ if ll tiful butter by the extra work- 
ifi'r Ao rJ I 1 __ . lag of the dasher on the but- 
If ter while churning. Five alecs, 
Ichurning from 3 to 35 gallons 
Power Churns n Specially. Address 
TIFFIN UNION C1IURN CO., Tittiu, Ohio. 
Every Man 
His Own 
POTTED PLANTS 
FULL CROP IN 10 MONTHS 
I DIRECTIONS FOp CULTURE 2j PRICE LIST FREE I 
F.R.PIERSON. 
TABBYTnWNrf ,>1 HUDSON. NY., 
TREES! 
To NURSERYMEN, DEALERS and PLANTERS 
Send for Fall Catalogue of the Bloomington 
Nursery. Established 20 years. The vast season's 
growth has hem unusually fine. 83T \Vr oiler nn 
immense stock m LOW prices FOR CASH. 
Address W. F. BAIRD. Trustee, Bloomington. III. 
®-THE COMINC RASPBERRY. 
E d ddc’C^ 1 ^ ofthe 
ill DUE, 9 Hudson. 
Awarded the "FIRST PRIZE” by the Boston 
Horticultural Society. "GOLD MEDAL 
STRAWBERRY HANTS. 
E. P. BOK’S Strawberries have taken Hist prize two 
years in sucession. Potted Plants low. All the 
new kinds true to name. Catalogue free. Address 
E. P. ROE, CornwaU-on-ttie-Hudsou, Orange Co., 
N. Y. 
sIurLW STMWBmT. 'fiBsriR 
berries, Fruit trees. Vines and Plants. Send for 
Catalogues. WM. PARRY, Ciuuaminsou, N. J. 
STRICTLY FIRST-CLASS 
STRAWBERRY PLANTS. 
Potted and jrrouod. Layers of over 100 new and 
old varieties. Price Ust tree. Address F. M. HEXA- 
MER, New Castle, Westchester, Co., N. X. 
rff* O l &-r> /^ o ts Prltilw la- 
i3>0 JTX t?9C» tttU'tfinU 
4»tc. (Self-inker $•*>) l* l-4MV«r ilze* 
I V 1 ‘lvHMiru, young or old 
Catalogue oi rrctaPk, Yyptf, Etc., 
f,,r * w»u,p. KELSEY A Co. 
c Meriden, Oouu 
lUClUaiUK riVBlUQIR lilUVOUli It utyuuui «v. 
American, Forest Rose. Beauty. Pioneer. Duoliesse, 
Orescent Seedling, and many others. Circulars free. 
G. H. &J H. HALE, South Glastonbury, Conn. 
B.W. Payne & Sons, Corning,N.Y. 
.^ rvr g 0 Established in 1840. 
Eureka Safety Power 
I iTfll |h.p. cyl. lit. space, wt. price. 
2 ,3'S 4 48iu 40x25 900;5150 
40x30 
0 I 5x7 I 72 | 72x42:2700 400 
POWER 
CiflenWine 
Tf—Til Double Platform 
BOOMER A BOSCHERT 
PRESS CO., 
EMBOSSED PICTURES Decorating. 
Twenty-five sheets, consisting of Birds, Bugs, Rep¬ 
tiles. Japanese Ferns, Flowers, and Catalogue of over 
ftOO varieties, sent post-paid on receipt of 81; 11 sheets 
for 60c. 
OSCAR W. YOUNG, Importer, 
60 Fourth St.. Brooklyn, E. D., New York. 
F ARMtilt WANTED.— Thoroughly practical, 
who has had experience in improving and con¬ 
ducting a large stock and grain farm ; for a nluec. ol 
six hundred acres, where a thousand sheep and one 
hundred anil fifty head of mixed cuttle are kept, 
butter made and hugs raised, A thoroughly practi¬ 
cal business farmer, who will make the furtn pay. 
Soar 1 treed apply except those having capacity and 
previous experience, and must have undoubted ref 
erence as r.. honesty, sobriety and capability. 
Address Hall, S3 Exchange l’lnoe. Now York. 
LATEST IMPROVED 
BUCKEYE 
CIDER-MILL 
Printer. fJf cELStov- 
HIGH-CLASS POULTRY. 
Saul for New Practical, Valuable Circular. 
(?EO. 8. J098ELYN, Frcdouia, N. V, 
it la a mlaiako to suppose that any depart¬ 
ment of a paper may be alighted. The most. Im¬ 
portant Information Is to he fotrnd, at times, under 
the guise of an advertisement; and it Is agreeoble 
to the advertiser and a courtesy to the publisher 
to mention the source of your Information—In 
other words, to mention the paper. 
25H B I 
Send for Circulars and prices to 
P. P. MAST & CO., 
Springfield, Ohio. _ 
_ ***** This is a combination of 
f 11 11 capitalists to supply con- 
A4 sinners only throughout 
Jh the United States with 
PURE TEAS on the 
mutual principle, by getting up clubs. 8end for 
New Price-List. 
CONSUMERS* IMPORTING TEA CO., 
P.O. Box 6609. No. 8 Church 8t„ New York City 
