548 
Ai)@. 24 
it aitir luraor. 
HOW HE DID AN ERHAND FOR HI8 WIFE. 
“ Now, Leander, my dear, I want you to be 
sure and not forget these few things when yofi 
come down to-night,” says the young wife, just 
before the kiss and “good-by,” at the summer 
hotel in the morning, as the gentlemen were 
starting for the city. 
“ Certainly not my love.” 
And this is the way the list ran : 
1. Two yards of blue barege. 
2. Three yards Hamburg edgings. 
8. My new braid from the hair store. 
4. Half a dollar’s worth of nainsook. 
6. Box pearl powder from my upper drawer. 
6. “Modern Minister” from Loring’s library. 
Arriving in town, he forgot all about the list 
till late in the afternoon and then could’nt find 
it in any of his pockets j but hadn't he read it 
over, and didn’t he recollect it all ? Of course 
he did, and this is what he brought home to his 
expectant wife: 
1. Two heads of blue cabbage. 
2. Three yards of handsome netting (mos¬ 
quito.) 
8. Some blue braid. 
4. Half a dollar’s worth of canned soup. 
5. Box of sedlitz powder. 
6. Boring said he hadn’t any such book as 
the “ Mug and Canister” in the library. 
Exclamations on receiving the above, “ O, 
Leander, Leander, you must have been dining 
at that horrid club again or you couldn’t have 
made such a mistake !”—Boston Commercial 
Bulletin. 
- •» » »- 
“Two heads are better than one,” said the 
thief, as he crawled out of the cabbage patch.— 
Derrick, 
Singing is recommended as a cure for sea¬ 
sickness .—Buffalo Express. A good ballad for 
marine stomachic difficulties would be, “I give 
thee all, I can no m ore, though poor the offer¬ 
ing be.”— N, Y. Commercial. 
Mind your stops. A compositor in setting up 
the toast: “ Woman—without her, man would 
be a savage,” got the punctuation in the wrong 
place, which made it read: “ Woman—without 
her man, would be a Bavage.” 
Sarah Ann—“ 0, ain’t my brother a olever 
boy, Eliza Jane ? He's only been to sohool two 
months an’ he’s got the oateohism." Eliza Jane 
—“ Wot’s that! Why, my brother’s on’y bin to 
sob >ol two weeks an’ he’s got the measles 1” 
In winter, rugs ; 
In summer, bugs* 
In sickness, drugs; 
In adversity, shrugs; 
In thirst, mugs : 
In courtship, hugs. 
Thehk is a terribly depraved joke about the 
lamb lying side by side with tne lion. It was a 
dande-lion. The perpetrator thereof ought to 
have a “consulship in a warm climate.” The 
thing Jim Anderson, the Louisiana witness, 
wanted. 
“8 am, you are not honest. Why do you put 
all the good peaches on top of the measure and 
the little ones below?” “Same reason, sah, 
dat makes de front ob your house all marble, 
and de back gate chiefly slop bar’l, sah.”— St. 
Louie Journal . 
He said the pastry was ever so much better 
made by her hands. This delighted her. But 
when she wanted the coal-scuttle at the other 
end of the room, and he suggested that she 
should get it, as the fire wculd feel so mnch 
better if the coal was brought by her dear hands, 
she was disgusted. Women are so changeable! 
At a ball at Long Branch, there was an im¬ 
mense concourse of people. A lady who had 
been jammed against the side of a hall in the 
crowd, accidentally caught the trimming of her 
cloak in the button of a gentleman’s coat. After 
having been towed around a few moments in 
this sort of style, she remarked to her involun 
tary captor, “ I’d thank you, sir, not to pull my 
cloak all off me!” “ Good gracious, madame!” 
he replied, “ I hope you will excuse me; but 
I’m just as anxiouB to keep my clothes on as you 
A Healthy Body and a Clear Head. 
If indigestion, constipation and bllllousnesa tor¬ 
ment the body, the head cannot be clear. These 
disorders react upon the brain most hurtfully, 
and produce a cloudiness In the organ of thought 
not experienced by a healthy man. Happily these 
braln-oppresslng maladies may be entirely dis¬ 
pelled by that peerless alterative, Hoatetter’s 
Stomach Bitters, which cheers, refreshes and in¬ 
vigorates the brain and nerves, while ltregtlates 
the organs of digestion, assimilation and bilious 
secretion. It expels the morbid humors which 
poison the system through the bowels and uri¬ 
nary passages, and exerts a powerfully invigora¬ 
ting lnfl uence as well, its cathartc action la never 
Irritating, violent or painful, but even, natural 
and progresFlve. As an appetizer and sleep pro¬ 
moter tho Bitters is unrivalled; It mitigates the 
Infirmities of old age, relieves the ailments pecu¬ 
liar to the gentler sex, arrests premature decay, 
Rnd builds up an enfeebled physique. 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER. 
•- •' V 
I - * . 1 ' e. 
2 , 316 4 18in 40x35 900 $150 
Y 4x6 66 46x30 1600 l»u 
6 5x7 72 73 x42!2700 "400 
MRS FR END DRILL I 
ITS DOUBLE FORCE FEED. 
ALACE ORGANS 
THE BEST IN THE 
— WORLD — 
B.W. Payne & Sons, Corning,N.Y. 
•gVgflQ Established in 1840. 
t|Sa Eureka Safety Power 
flU EMB Ih.p. cyl. ht. space, wt. price. 
1st-The Centennial CummiSKtnn made but Five 
A WARD Sill Grain Drllls.nnd Fertilizer Attachments. 
:;d.—Ol those live, TWO were given Bh kfurd A Huff¬ 
man. One on the Farmek's Fa vouitk und one on 
Fertilizer Attachment 
3<J.—No OTHER MANUFACTURERS RECEIVED AN 
AWARD ON a FKRTXM8SR attach m I'.nt I 
4th.- The uwnrii tn the “ ClUMUPlOU,” built by 
Johnson, (lore un<1 Truman, was “for a machine 
with attachable manure distributeran Implement 
they hid tin! exhibit and <!'■ mil offer for Malt , nt» their 
"manuredistributer " 1 m neither "attachable” nor 
detachable. 'Che report does not commend this 
driller Us “ manure distributer ” for a (duple quality 
of wot k. 
6th.—The a ward to the Farmer's Friend pronounces 
It defective by say me it is capable of fyrthrrtinpr ve- 
meail, as reairds he tin ry up and down bill; and also 
to the Me,Sherry orlll In these words; “ 8mm further 
adjustment appears desira blr to enable this drill to de¬ 
liver with equal equal it u up and down HU V' 
(Uh.-The limp re, Uuckeve Hot)'mr, Superior and 
IIiiKcrstown drills were a/iun) kith mi AWARD oil 
RKi'oit r, because of great *' Irregularities ” or “ vari¬ 
ations " In tue tests. 
7th.—The variation of our nearest compctltior. The 
Chump luti, front its own distribution, was moice than 
237 Melt cent, of that shown by the farmer’s 
Favokitk, 
Ktb.—The award to the farmer’s Favorite, dis¬ 
tinguished it by commending It for “accuracy of 
DKLIVEUY. AND REGULARITY OF DISCHARGE UN¬ 
DER DIFFERENT CONDITIONS," and “ RKGUIARLTY 
OF DELIVER v UNDER ALl. conditions.” Qualities 
conspicuously lacking m its competitors. 
We challenge contradiction of a single feature Of 
the above statements. 
Fully 80 per cent, of all the Fertilizer drills In use 
on the American Continent are built under our 
patents,—a fact that tersely and undispntubly es¬ 
tablishes superiority. For circulars, prices of in¬ 
formation see our ugeiits, or address lluchioi d & 
IIiiU'mnn, IVIncedou. is. Y. 
8. N. Gallup, Genl. Agt. 
TREES! 
To NURSERYMEN, DEALERS and PLANTERS 
Send for Fall Catalogue of tbe Bloomington 
IS ii roc ry. Established Via years. The vast season's 
growth has hern unusually flnr W<• offer an 
immense stock nt LOW prices FUK CA8U.. 
Address VV. F. HAIUI), Trustee, Hlooinlngton. Ill. 
SMRM’ SmWBKW. 
berries, Fruit trees. Vines and Plants. Head for 
Catalogues. WM. PARtt v, Cinnamloson, N. J. 
k This Is a combination of 
» L< /m nJ capitalist* to supply con- 
au mers only throughout 
• the United Slates with 
PURE TEAS on the 
ual principle, by getting up club*. Send for 
r Price-List. 
CONSUMERS’ IMPORTING TEA CO., 
P.O.Box 5509. No. 8 Church 8t., New York CU 
N BAlu, 
•d O 
li* 1 
CD hV 
£ y 
mm 
u 
O « £3 0! § 
o Jj K BP 
"an 
□ 
qj cG 
ll.sl 
5- d 
S <1 h S 
h «a 
Ask your Druggist for it, or send for Circular to 
N. B. PHELPS, Proprietor, 
_ No. 6 MURRA Y ST., NEW YORK. 
Pvprv Man **¥■■«* 
L V Ul V ill U.11 AlWffK 1 "-' ‘ (^lf- ,r| Ver40) B Larger tires 
J lIFJvll h< * I'tofore, voting or old 
His Own CalMogiw o) rretis**, Tyj*i Etc., 
» • ^ 5 ‘““‘l*’ KELSKT A Co. 
Print©r. ^ELSlO^_ Meriden. Conn 
rNIFFORO’S* swinging stanchion. 
VT Self-closing self-fastening. First farm right in 
each town for Hi) cts. in stamps. For Illustrated Cir¬ 
cular, address W - . C. GIFFORD. Jamestown. N. Y. 
ro-publishcd by us from the ofttcial report special¬ 
ly recommeml'it tumuperior to othorn, and for 
this reason no other Drill Manufacturers uublish 
mention this paper and address. 
FARMERS’ FRIEND MANUFACTURING CO., Dayton, 0. 
WHEAT. 
THIS GREAT EXPERIMENT 
LOW PRICE FOR TRIAL. 
PREMIUM BONE. 
Pure, Orlorlcas, Flue Grouud, Clean, Raw 
Boue. Cut up in new barrels, nett weight 232 pounds. 
Regular Ton Price oer barrel. JfGSKK: Price per bar¬ 
rel. for trial only, . iif ~Delivered free on curs 
si8aiom, U. Send Money in Registered Letter or 
P. O. Money Order. Address, 
Excelsior Fertilizer Works, 
HALEDl, OHIO, 
Sows all kind*) of Grain from 
Seed to Corn and Rcnn«. 
Flax 
tit 
STRICTLY FIRST-CLASS 
STRAWBERRY PLANTS. 
Potted and ground. Layers of over 100 newand 
old varieties. Price List free. Address F. M. HEX- 
AMEE, New Castle. Westchester, Co.. N. Y. 
Another Great Reduction 
■■■ M IN PRICES. BEST INDUCE- 
LAV MENTS EVER OFFERED. 
LFIW send for new price-list 
THE GREAT AMERICAN' TEA CO 
P. Q. Box 5643. _ 31 and 33 Vesey Bt ., N. Y. 
(J || U O and Revolvers. Illustrated Price Listfree 
11 U II w Qreat Western Gun Works, Pittsburg, Pa 
i •!'- H •’f . .; ; T /Yd Til • a tfill IrTTi I riTtliTT'l li 
Id 
Ml L‘j : -r^HI j ■ t JM \ ur Tm• I»TaTB. i iti JH 
KINGSFORD'S 
Oswego Starch! 
Is the BEST and MOST ECONOMICAL in the 
World. 
Is perfectly PURE —free from acids and other 
foreign substances that injure Linen. 
Is STRONGER than any other—requiring much 
less quantity in using 1 . 
Is UNIFORM—stiffens and finishes work always 
the same. 
