'772 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER. 
NOV. 30 
l.?; 
-^VP 
In Hindostan they call the paragrapher’s labor 
the Punjaub. 
An agricultural school—where thrashing is a 
regular exercise. 
A sheep shearing match is a barberous thing. 
—Oil City Derrick. 
Travelers up the Nile say there isn’t an 
Nile land in it worth mentioning,— Post. 
The butcher who sells ox-tails for soup and 
calves’ heads for dinners undoubtedly makes 
both ends meat. 
How did Noah provision the ark ? With fruit. 
How so ? how with fruit ? Why, don’t you re¬ 
member ? he stocked it with pairs. 
" Love is an internal transport!” exclaimed an 
enthusiastic poet. “8o is a oanal boat,” said a 
practical old forwardiug merchant. 
The right kind of a man will always have his 
life insured. It gives his wife’s second husband 
a start.— Louisville Courier-Journal. 
In these days the fly is less agile, but more 
persistent. We do not consider the change an 
improvement—from the bald-headed point of 
view. 
Ten mills make one cent, say the arithmetics ; 
but competition is so strong among the cotton 
factories down East that ten mills don’t make a 
cent.— Exchange. 
The lady and gentleman at SwampBoott who 
received a portion of the shot intended for the 
pigeons can now know something of the excru¬ 
ciating delight the birds take in the manly sport. 
John Ikon is the steward of a Jersey beach 
hotel, and now that business is falling off. be 
sits at the range beside his brother Grid, and a 
pair of sad IronB are they .—Lowell Courier. 
A GREAT OFFER I HOLIDAYS 
A This is a combination of 
I ■■. capitalists to supply con- 
M -4 turners only throughout 
the United States with 
mutual principle, by getting up*c 1 ub^.^*8end for 
New Price-List. 
tho8 ? hard TIMES and t he 
HOLIDAYS duroosdo/ TOO PIANOS and Olt- 
t.ANS, new and second-hand of first-class 
winkers including WATERS’ at lower prices 
tor cash, oi I Min 11 meats, or to let until paid 
tor thaa ever before ofterrd. WATERS' 
° P. u 11,1 rPKiiiHT pianos 
and fill l!HE OKI* A Ns nre !)<e HKsT MADE, 
warranted for si X years. AGENTS WANT. 
ED. II Instritf ed . ntaloiium Jlailed. A lib¬ 
eral discount to T'aehers, Ministers, Churches. 
'll..I Muaicat Hall Price. 
HORACE UA TEIIS dt SONS, Man Pro. and 
Dealers, 40 East 14tb Street, New Vorlt. 
\ With Automatic Cut-off. 
UNo Commissions to Agents. 
<j Bottom Prices to Ptu ohasers. 
SEND FOR CATALOGUE. 
ARMINGTON & SIMS 
A. & 8. were lately with 
THE J. C. BOADLEY COMP. 
f am ^ 
mwEim, 
CONSUMERS' IMPORTING TEA CO, 
P.O. Box 1236 
No. S Church 8t.. New Vork City, 
NU3RESS •‘OH CTTCHLAR 
P.K.OHOER?CK«tCO 
Guano 
iCcNTENNlAL 
i$ 3 Pressw?Si« 
me. (SHf-tnkerifco) 1> larger »ir . 
For huEinea,tiJeftiure r youngor o .« 
Catalogue oi IVenuft| Typ« 9 Et* 
for * 'Ump, KELSEY A Co. 
Meriden* Cor * 
His Own 
Printer 
p r.”. 0UR -. W TONS IS A CAR. 'ist 
fhfln nn on trtul Rnd guaranteed cheaper, at Its price, 
Hay press tw a gif t or no sale. Don’t ho 
1 by IrroBpoiisIhle manofaeturerH of Infringing 
iunchinps,/>fl (lie purchaser Is liable. It costs no morr 
V!f ? * ood P reBB than sn Inferior or worthless one. 
Address. p. K. DEDERICK X CO., Albany. N. Y 
vertising young man who «* understands taking 
care of horses,” and he will rear himself at any 
time and at all times on the slightest provoca¬ 
tion. 
Here is an extract from a little boy’s first 
composition : “ W’en cats is a swearin’ and a 
blasfemin’ and a tryin’ the gageB of their steam 
b’ilers in the back yard at nite, it makes a feller 
offle frade, if he isn’t a sleepin’ with his big 
brother.” 
A lady with a fatal squint came onoe to a 
fashionable artist for her portrait. He looked 
at her, and she looked at him, and both were 
embarrassed. He spoke first, “ Would your la¬ 
dyship permit me,” he said. “ to take the por¬ 
trait in profile? There is a certain shyness 
about one of your eyes which is as difficult in 
art as it is fascinating in nature.” 
Sib Wilfrid Lawson, at an agricultural diuner 
in Cumberland recently, told a good story illus¬ 
trating the effect of hard times on farmers: 
“ One Scotch farmer had determined, in Bpite of 
the bad times, to pay his rent if it were his last 
shilling, and saying to the factor who received 
it, ‘ It is my last shilling,’ he threw down a roll 
of notes. The factor counted them and said 
‘ There is £50 too much,’ * Odds, man,’ said the 
farmer, ‘ I put my hand in the wrong pouch.’ " 
In attempting to oarve a fowl one day a gentle¬ 
man found considerable difficulty in separating 
its joints, and exclaimed against the mau who 
had sold him an old ben for a young chicken. 
“ My dear,” said the enraged man’s wife, “ don’t 
talk so much about the aged and respectable 
Mr. B ; he planted the first hill of corn that was 
planted in our town." “ I know that," said the 
husband, “ and I believe this hen scratched it 
HIGH-CLASS POULTRY 
Send for iXew practical , Valuable Circular 
CTO - S. JOSSKL YN. Fr edonia. N. Y. 
-I Q LOVILV All CHROMO CARDS, new styles, with 
A O n a me, postpa id, I0o. J. B. Rusted, Nassau, N.Y. 
60 CMROMO. PtRfUMtO.SMOWHAH A LACE CAROS, -nth 
" iJAum lQo* <J*me Autlium Iftc, Cym«n A Co.. Clinton Villa ft 
Scroll Saw. 
The Best and most Practical of 
Its kind in use. 
Simple , Cheap , MAght Run¬ 
ning- and Humble, 
With adjustable table for Inlay¬ 
ing work, it is especially adapted 
for ladies’ use. 
Every machine fully warrant¬ 
ed- Send stamp for Circulars 
and full particulars. Address 
the manufacturers. 
LEW I* MANUP’G CO.. 
Seneca Falls, N. Y. 
(^ENESEE VALLEY FARMS FOR HALE. 
VA Some of thettnest residences In thisValley, near 
K. R. Inquire soon of JOHN SHELDON, upon the 
premises, at Moscow, Livingston Co,. N Y. 
RICHMOND CITY MILL WORKS, 
RICHMOND, IND, ^ 
_Manufacturers of 
MILL STONES 
THE BOREL & COURVOISIER SWISS WATCHES 
_ HAVE BEEN AWARDED 
THE GOLD MEDA L 
.. a *i- A n--.i!_ 
_ and 
F »WS& SlU JttffiigSG 
The most, complete __ 
Mill Eumlshinir es- . , —- 
tahllsliment In the [W gWMk. 
Special estimates |l 
and price-lists tur- nnk 
nlshed on appllca- 
State you sa w this 
in Rural N.-Y. sgHp iBiB 
i Hilo year. m. ^ T 
>erlority of v Ury ^ -Awards' decision was 
e test made man ®blp and extreme accuracy 
it material v ’ y 6 , ud ^ e ®' These watches are 
land labor andmade with improved machinery, 
Messrs. B th “ B naur 'l tJ « “n accurate- tlme-keep- 
irlng their wft’ btivem “d« astlll furOierreduc- 
e finishing Na. i * . , f wllhln the reach of all 
d use. Call l ^ ^elr movoments. particularly 
’lies. The annua ^ leweler and ask to see the 
batches, as \^^M0Si-\) 7 bublic 18 0 «ke(l to Investigate the 
intry that w ‘ tb ‘ h08e oT American 
ed ? Give th^ Ror^i T^ he8 f ° r lhe past Two 
ite to you ^ Cour volsier fair play 
-rtlal coin- Wea ^ 
QUINCHE & KRUGLER 
17 MAIDEN LANE, New Vork, Mole Agent, fo r the United States. 
MM FORGES 
Peerless Right-hand 
.—n— CORN SHELLER 
Shells and separates eusllr 
one bushel of ears a minute. 
One man feeds and operates. 
Wrought shaft and heavy bal¬ 
ance wheel. It is the cheapest 
and best Corn Sheller in the 
market. 
For full particulars and De¬ 
scriptive Circular, address 
A. P. DICKEY, 
Racine, AVI*. 
his father said: “Johnny knows better than to 
make a noise in church.” So he went. He kept 
very still till the last prayer. By that time he 
had grown tired of sitting still, and was stand¬ 
ing on the pew cushion, with his back to the 
pulpit. When the lady in the next seal bowed 
her head for prayer, Johnny thought she was 
•rying. He leaned over and said to the lady, in 
a tone that was meant for a whisper, but which 
was only too plainly heard ; “ Poor lady ! What 
ee matter ? Do oo stummut ache ?” 
The Simplest and Most 
Convenient 
tn the world. The best. Mill In 
the market for grinding Com, 
Feed, Ac. Send lor Prlee Lis*. 
C. B. OGLESBY & CO., 
59 So, Canal st., Chicago. 
Keystone Wringer 
V m Wan Grnntyr Capacity. 
A, More Durable, and 
It ,s better finished 
t , • (A, Than nny otb«r wringer now made. 
the rolls 
jj iSSaO £ re “ado of While Rub- 
t SteG-H liftk be , p ol, ‘' lr f‘J the »haft. No 
If! i • J'fHjGl twine or wire or fibrous ma- 
tonal, or anything rise but 
rubber being used. The rab- 
bur is vulcanised upon the 
shaft anti cannot In taken off 
Rr « ">° r e elastic than Other rollTbMauBe^'hCTels 
nothing but rubber on tbo shaft, and more durable 
because there is no twine or fibrous material to rot 
out or wire to cut the rubber. They are greatly 
superior to any other kind of roll now known. 
A8K YOUR DIALER for the KEYSTONE WRINGER 
'H*e Physiology of the Liver. 
The liver Is the largest secreting organ In the 
human body, and the bile wbloh It secretes is 
more liable to vitiation and misdirection from Its 
proper channels than any other of the animal 
fluids. Luckily for the bilious, however, there Is 
an unfailing source of relief from liver complaint, 
namely, H os tetter’s Stomach Bitters, a medicine 
which for over a quarter of a century has been 
achieving thorough euros ol the above-mention¬ 
ed ailments, fever and ague, dyspepsia, bowel 
complaints, rheumatic and kidney affections, and 
disorders Involving loss of nervous vigor, it Is, 
moreover, a preventive of malarial dteoasi-, and’ 
affords protection to thousands of persona resid¬ 
ing In districts of country where that dire scourge 
is prevalent. As a remedy adapted to the medi¬ 
cinal requirement of families, It la supremely de- 
lrable, and as a means of fortifying a debilitated 
stem, It Is t ly to be depended upon. 
Lcfevre Ring, $1 
Set of Studit, iji I 
[The ahull] Stud, .1 
Lefevre Pur l*ro|i», $l 
THE ONLY PERFECT FAC SIMILE OF THE REAL DIAMI 
f the Academy Fr — l,utt M - J-tfirvre has really obtained 
MfttfeWn ... . 
BY WHICH THEIR SURFACES ARE* fOTPBPft With ^r‘r^lir 0 .wi? h,,,n,CalvolM ‘ , ° P roceM » 
Imparting to thent all the Rkiu.m.vcV IUn j>v^ and ralvin, A T*^ 0 9 F Pl ' RE DIAMONDS, 
z? szszafi ” STiraffls «««« 
LA R hy RKtusU KRgp Mail, to any address 
, n ..G'” or '' a ' . O i lllor article as nbeve represented. Our 
-./ **i solid (M k.) gold, mailed free. 
MnM .’pml the Lofi-vre Rrtmant.-W, rr t ROY, pumh.rd, Cemi. 
lay that 1 am (ileasad with them hardly tills ih« 
6Dl)r " 
'. : ^ii ! An.! , K. 1 ’''r A . rKRY .i : S"** Form, Loolavtlte, Kr. 
all doubt of toe artificial reproduction of the true diamond.— 
poasettori of ooatly gem».—Journal of 8e.loD0«. <9 
AMI.KK AN JEWELRY COMPANY,»6 Arcade, CINCINNATI 0 
Th. Amerloaa Jewelry Company la a prompt and reliable houae. U * 
nook on Diamonds, ” with Illustrations of artistic DiamondJewelry 
r .IT l, ' H ' n of diamond*, hut r- -■ 
w \$S 
.l r ; 
J»c I.efcvrc piairnud*. mounted In eollrt K ol,l, are irnlv marvelous 
M. “• hufevre .llenco* 
t kr. srvAt Fnwnh Sc ion tint. 
Tliu I.etevrc Ulamund moat altectunlly diaturha the slumhers of the 
*1®-VVe guarantee the Wonderful Left 
and will cheerfully refund tUr 
„ TO ENGLAND, 
CoMlgnmetita tuiDclted for 
GEO. WAllRHN At C".. Liverpool. Eng. 
Address YVAUltfeN' <Sc CO„ 
4J Exchange Cl lice. New Y r orh City. 
Bieiml 8 to U 2.^a ™' t S'** bring remunerative prices. 
Shipments made to New York address will be for- 
sieamors sailing after arrival of 
ap ples In New York, 
C IDER PRESSES AND GRATERS. 
Booouiu x BOSCUIRT Paxss Co. Srracnaa. N.T 
Boouit * Boscuikt Pkxss Co. gyraous., N.X 
