744 
a 
OCT 28 
^muormts. 
A young mau telling his ancle of a fine 
piece of luck he hid hit upon, the old gentle¬ 
man responded, “ Well, Tom, be sure and not 
go too fast or too far. Just keep your head, 
and you'll be sure to have a soft thing." 
"Whkn 1 watch a little boy,” lisped a very 
stupid society man to a young lady, "all my 
ideath hin life were thentored on being a 
clown.”—“Well, there is at least one case of 
gratified ambition,” was the ill-bred reply. 
Thk father of a St. Louis bride presented 
his son-in law with eighty thousand head of 
cattle. “ Papa, dear,” exclaimed his daugh¬ 
ter, when she heard of it, “ that was so kind 
of you; Charley’s awful fond of ox-tail soup.’ 
Something Wrong with the House. —A 
man in Yorkshire swapped his horse for a 
wife. An old bachelor acquaintance said he’d 
bet there was something wrong with the 
horse, or its owner never would have bar¬ 
gained it away in that manner. 
"My love,” said one lady to another, "you 
heard, 1 suppose, that Amanda is about to 
THE VICTORY*] 
The only mUl that la a 
.complete success In grind¬ 
ing corn and cob together. 
We defy competition on this 
bind of grinding. It also 
grind* shelled corn and all 
other kind* of grain, course 
or fine, as desired. Capac¬ 
ity ten to tvrnty Imshels per 
hour. Self - sharpening 
platrs, and warranted In 
every respect. 
THOMAS ROBERTS, 
Springfield, Ohio. 
i Patent spark-arresting Farm and Dairy Engines of 
all sizes, from 2 to 12 horse-power, mounted or un¬ 
mounted. Warranted to bo the Heat and Cheapest 
engines made. Prices from $ I 50 upwards. Send 
for Illustrated Catalogue "A," whlek will give you 
full Information and prices to 
B. W. PAYNE & SON, 
Box 841, Coming, N. Y. 
marry Arthur ?”—“I know it,” waa the reply; 
“ and what 1 can’t understand is that a woman 
as intelligent a’ she is cau consent to marry a 
man who h stupid enough to marry her.” 
It always sounds pretty to say, "The sun 
has sunk beneath the Western horizon,” but 
a moment’s reflection shows that it is about 
the only horizon he could sink beneath under 
the circumstances. When he feel9 like sink¬ 
ing lie always selects the Western horizon. 
A young man, on being elected a member 
of one of our volunteer regiments, went home 
and told his father that he had just “got his 
arms.” "Arms!” growled the old man. "I 
faucy that on a battlefield the first thing you 
young fellows would think of would be how 
to make the best use of your legs!” 
"Weld, you’re the biggest goose I ever 
saw,” said an uncultivated but honest Ox¬ 
onian to the partner of bis joys and sorrows. 
And she, who had had the advantage of a 
public school education, smiled upon him with 
a seraphic smile as she remarked, "Oh, deary, 
you are such a self-forgetful darling I” 
“What is the devil?” asked an Austin 
Sunday-school teacher of a new boy, who as 
quite small. "I don’t know what it is, hut it 
cau’t run as fast as my' pa can.” "How do 
you know that the devil can’t run fast?” 
“Because I heard pa say that he always 
catches the devil when he comes home late at 
night from the lodge. I reckon I’ll be able to 
ARcaiBALD Allison Jefferson Burt, 
Always was playing about In the dirt. 
With dirt to Ills ears, and his noBC, and his eyes 
Makings dirt puddings, dirt, cookies and pies, 
With a spoon or a fork In the gravel he’d dig, 
Till he changed, and he changed, ’till he turned to a pig. 
Alas! and Alack! for poor Archibald Burt, 
Who grew to be pork from his passion for dirt. 
A Light, Safe, Easy Riding, 
Two-wheeled Road Vehicle; 
Graceful in Proportion, 
Strong and Well Finished; 
THREE STYLES, 
Five Sizes and Weights. 
A NOVELTY THAT SELLS AT SIGHT. BRADLEY & COMPANY, 
OP Send lor IlluMlrtited Circular and Price-List. SYRACUSE, N. Y. 
RADLEY ROAD-CART. 
Frazier’s Patent. 
LANTERNS 
of Horse. 
CAPACITY OF 
SHELLER 
30 bushels prhour. 
catch it too, when I get as big as pa.” "I’ve 
no doubt of it,” remarked the teacher with a 
sigh. ”— Tensas Siflings . 
W I AT IT DID FOB AN OLD LADY. 
Coshocton Station, N. y., Doc. 28. 1878. 
Gicnts—A number of people hnvo boon using your 
Bitters here, and with marked effect. In one case, a 
lady Of over 70years, had been sick for years, and for 
the wist ten years has not been able to be around 
halt'the time. About nix months ago she got so fee¬ 
ble she was lali'lens. Her old remedies, or physicians, 
being of no avail, I sent to Deposit, -C, miles, n way, and 
got a bottle of Hod Hitters. It Improved her so she 
was able to dress herself ami walk about the house. 
When she bad tnkeu the second bottle she was able 
to take earn of her own room and walk out t.o her 
neighbor’s, and has Improved all the time since. Mv 
wife and children also have derived great benefit 
from their use. W. B. Hathaway, Agt, U. s. Ex. Co. 
Dici.ievan, Wis , Sept, 24,1878. 
Gicnts— t have taken not quite one bottle of the Hop 
Bitters. I was a feeble old mau of TO when I got H. 
To-day I uin aB active and feel as well as 1 did at ttU. 
I see a great many that, need such a medicine. 
D, Boyck. A do. 
"RESSKH, GRATER*. ELEVATORS. Pumps 
Eva porato us, Ac., ike. ty.Soiul for Catalogue " B.” 
BOOMER iv BOSCIIERT Press Co.. 
SYItACUSK, N. Y. 
New York City Uffloo, 62 VoMey 8t. 
WEALTHY FARMER8 rWl 8 
business and reside In a city, cun have a circular, with 
cutB of a FINE HESLDENOk for sale ou easy terms, 
by writing to JOHN 11. ,1 OHNSO N, 
R. E. Agent, Springfield, Ohio. 
IjR/_„a_ J—A CLERK. One who understands 
h¥ H 11X60 Hut Seed business and has had expo- 
Hence as a travelling salesman. Ad¬ 
dress, with references, PRICE «fc KNICKER¬ 
BOCKER. 80 Statu Strickt, Albany, N. Y. 
VETERAN CORN SHELLER and ONE HORSE POWER 
_rvM j tv i i« * m « u_TT» . j __ji 
IIA Ri 
Alii ORGANINA CO., 
800 FILBERT STREET, 
PHILADELPHIA, PA. 
BERKSHIRE PIGS 
FOR SALS BY 
ALBERT W CLOSE, Greenwich, Conn, 
iatlsfaction guaranteed. 
Shetland Ponies. 
JUST IMPORTED, AI.L COLORS. U1INTLE AND 
KIND. REASONABLE PRIOR. 
For further particulars apply to ERA NCI* II. 
KELP If, Live Stock Importer and Exporter, 
17 Altl> III BROADWAY, N. Y City. 
II Expor 
, N. Y Cl 
CHEAPEST&BEST MILL 
1 \W\\ 
SOLD UNDER GUARRANTEE 
TO 6IVE SATISFACTION 
OR MONEY REFUNDEO 
SEND FOR OUR CIRCULAR 
CHA* KAESTNERa C® 
303-311 S CANAL STB. 
iJ3?- 
1 MILL. 
^ CHICAGO ILLS. 
AGENTS Hx 
Can now grasp a fortune. Outllt 
worth «10 free. RIDEOUT ft CO. 
10 Barclay St., New York. 
The Belle City 
ENSILAGE and 
FEED CUTTER. 
It has no equal forgood.rapld 
work ami durability. Can be 
run by wind power. It suits 
every time. Send for circular 
and name this paper. 
DAVID LAWTON 
l{ urine. Wis. 
LANE & B0DLEY CO 
AWARDED 
BY THE 
ATLANTA COTTON EXPOSITION, 
ON THEIR 
Steam Engine and Saw MiF 
Bxhibited at Atlanta in 1881 
Manufacturers of Steam Engines, Boilers, 
raw Mills, Hang Kdgers. Lnth Machines, Hnb 
ad Spoke Machinery, Shafting, Hangers, Pul¬ 
leys, Couplings, Gearing, Grist and Flour Mills 
Semi for Special Circular of our No. I P'-tition 
■Saw Mill, which we sell for 
Special attention given to Plantation Ma 
cvinery. Illustrated Circulars t'ree. 
John # »Frtf»r St.,., t inrtnnati, O 
EVAPORATING FRUIT 
Treatise on Improved methods 
SENT FHKjC. Wonderful results. 
Tables of Yields, Prices, Drollts 
and General Statistics. Address 
AMERICAN MANI’F’G CO. 
Wnynesboro, l’a. 
Amtrieau fruit Ibier. 
APPLE JELLY 
From SWEET CIDER without Sugar. EVAP- ? 
URATES SOUGHUM .1 UICE faster, and with [* 
less fuel than any apparatus known. ? 
THOUSANDS IN USE. 
Send postal for _ 8 
Descriptive Clrou- t;‘ • . _ V._AN 
lar« and Test lino- 
VERMONT L1 
FARM MACHINE g|jj 
Bellows Falls. Vt. 
SUMMIT STOVE-PIPE SHELF. 
Improved Zitrillion Ju.l Patent#* 
ACENTS WANTED. 
$1100.00 made by one 
Agent in fifty-nix days. 
Dull particular* *mt lotunrAgrnta'ro- 
port*, ihowioK oulck fUlrx ind large 
Profit*, free, no Freight or Borins 
rharget to Ayrn/t. Addrca. at onoe 
am) aeouro chute# Urritory free*. 
•I. E. SHEPARD & CO., 
CINCINNATI, O. 
NONPAREIL 
FARM & FEED MULLS 
a The Cheapest and Best. 
L Will Crush and Grind Ai j thing. 
H Illustrated Catalogue FREE. 
S^Address L.J. MILLER, Cincinnati,U 
Feed your Stool* 
WITH THK 
Waste on Your Farm. 
PRINDLE STEAMER 
FOR COOKING FOOD FOR STOCK 
Just the thing, 
PRICKS REDUCED. 
BARROWS, 8AVERY ft CO., Llmlte 
Pmumiruu, P* 
PORTABLE FEED MILL. 
Latest out, and bust adapted for the 
farmer lu America. 
Write for testimonials and Circular. 
LEWIS ST It A YER, York, l*a. 
by Watchmaker* Ity mall, S6o." OlrciiUm 
fro*. J. S. U1K0U ft CO.. SS Dev St.. N V 
SOLD 
