264 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER. 
APRIL 22 
ijiuttorons. 
Con.—I f a widow and a widower were 
being united in matrimony, what process 
would they be undergoing?—Re-pairing. 
“I wish you would pay a little attention, 
sir,” exclaimed a stage-manager to a careless 
actor. “ Well, I am paying as little as lean,’) 
was the reply. 
At the door of a ready-made clothing store 
in one of the poorer quarters of Paris is the 
sign, “ Don’t go somewhere else to be robbed; 
walk in here.” 
“Well, you’ll own she’s got a pretty foot, 
won’t you?”—“Yes, I’ll grant you that; but 
then, it never made half as much of an im¬ 
pression on me as her dad’s." 
The late Lord Lytton was peculiarly happy 
in returning a compliment. W hen he met on 
a certain occasion the novelist, Thackeray, 
the latter said: “You will pardon me for the 
unpleasant things I have written about you 
in Fraser.’—“You will pardon me,” replied 
Lord Lytton, “for never having read them.” 
A ltttlk bit of “coaching.”—One of the old- 
time stage-coach drivers, who has been on the 
road over half a century, say that life is put 
together considerably like a set of harness. 
There are traces of care, lines of trouble, bits 
of good fortune, breaches of good manners, 
bridled tongues, and everybody has to tug to 
pull through. 
Prologue. —An Arab traveler had occasion 
to visit London. On arriving there his atten¬ 
tion was attracted by a great crowd in the 
street. He drew near, and found, to his sur¬ 
prise and disappointment, that the object of 
cockney curiosity was a camel. He wrote 
home at once to his friends, “The frivolity and 
childishnes* of t. eee English are intense. Yes¬ 
terday I beheld a large concour&e of people 
staring at an ordinary camel, that even one of 
our lioys would not have turned his head to 
look atl” 
Among the Philistines.— Grigsby: “Do 
you know the Joneses?”—Mrs. Brown: “No, 
we—er—don’t care to know business people, 
as a rule, although my husband’s in business; 
but then he’s in the coffee business—and 
they’re all gentlemen in the coffee business, 
you know!”—Grigsby (who always suits him¬ 
self to his company): “Really now! Why, 
that’s more than can be said of the army, the 
navy, the church, the bar, or even the House 
of Lords! I don’t wonder at your being 
rather exclusive!” 
Bright’s Disease of the Kidneys, Diabetes 
and other Diseuses of the Kidneys and Liver, 
which you are being so frightened about, 
Hop Bitters is the only thing that will surely 
and permanently prevent and cure. All oth¬ 
er pretended cures only relieve for a time and 
then make you many times worse. 
Uaeleaa Fright. 
To worry about any Liver, Kidney or 
Urinary Trouble, especially Bright’s Disease 
or Diabetes, as Hop Bitters never fails of a 
cure where a cure is possible. We know this. 
— Adv. 
*> SUPERIORLY PROVED 
THE SIMPLEST S BEST SEWING MACHINE IS THE 
— LIGHT- RUNNING 
NEW 
Perfect In every particular. 200,000 sold yearly. 
NEW HOME SEWING MACHINE CO., 
30 Union Square, N. Y. 
Chicago, Ills., Orange, Mas*., or Atlanta, Ga. 
WILB0B/S COMPOUND OF 
PURE COD LIVER 
OIL AND LIME 
WilLor’e Cod Liver Oil and Lime.— 
Perseus who have been taking Cud Liver Oil will he 
S leased to learu that Dr. Wilbur has succeeded, from 
lrectlons of several professional gentlemen. In com¬ 
bining the pure Oil and lime in such a manner that It 
Is pleasant to the taste, and its elfects in lung com¬ 
plaints are truly wonderful. Very many persons 
whose cases were urououneed hopeless, and who hud 
taken the clear Oil for a loug lime without, marked 
effect, have been entirely cured by using this prepa¬ 
ration Be sure and get the genuiue. Manufactured 
only by A. B. WlUiOit, Chemist, Boston. Sold by all 
druggists. 
Seth Chapman’s Son & Co. 
DEALERS IN 
B tO 
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SAD LOSS OF MEMORY. 
( Party in Wagon.)— I’m afraid your horse will get at my oats. 
( Owner )—Ob, no danger ! He’s forgot about ’em long ago. 
American Magnum Bonum, 
"Beauty of" Hebron, 
And other Seed Potatoes. The above named per 
bushel, 82.00: per barrel, $» 50. Address 
TuTsc 6 GREINER, Seedsman, Naples, N. Y. 
THE MAPES COMPLETE MANURES, 
For JPotatoes, Corn, Onions, Tobacco, "V"egetables, etc- 
AVTTAttn . -r\-n-r.i r * \TTJ\Tm TI Tali'i?nri''Q ( \ li' TTIF. AT A PUS 
ONIONS. 
Has used the “ Complete Manure for light soils'" on Onions for several \ 
< < years with big results." Economy of the Mapes Manure for onions 
compared with stable manure, 12 two-horse loads per acre—larger 
yields^ p0D Chester, Orange County, N. Y., January 5. 1S82. writes: "I have 
used the Mapes OnioU Manure (complete for light soil) for several year* with big 
result*. Rome miser* seem to think It cost* too much, but If they would carefully 
compare the prices paid for stable manure with the prloe paid for the Mapes Onion 
Manure, together with what is realized from the use of each one; they would find 
thal It costs uot more than stable manure, huf less, I use stable manure to the 
amount of 1G to 13 two-horsc loads per acre on the union ground. Ihl* year I used 
1 KJO pounds of the Mapes Onion Manure per acre alone (broadcast nnd harrowed- 
In) t had an e.vtraordinury big pieitl, though l.uOO to LWulUs. per acre of the Mapes 
Oulon Manure Is enough, no <l.)ubl, to use pur acre. Alongside I used 12 two horse 
loads Of stable manure to the acre, and while I had about the same yield, the 
stable maun re cost much more, and is more expensive to handle than the Mapes 
ONIONS. 
“ The Mapes Complete Manure for light soils" used three years mi 
Onions with most satisfactory remits. Less expense and less labor 
compared with stable tnanu re. “A" Brand on wheat equal to stable 
manure and at half the cost. 
PERMANENT EFFECTS OF THE MAPES 
POTATO MANURE. 
ti is prn TON HIGHER THUN THE SELLING I 
three (3) years, with the most satisfactory results I have kept no account of actual #I.IU ILII I Ull llium.il ■ iimiv 
yield*; I only know that 1 have alien »» had good crops with less crpeiute and Um samples were worth rather more and some a little less, but t 
)id>nra n account of the Mapes Manure not bringing In weeds like the -table ma- borne samples were . h ,. r thfi r( > HU it8 obtained by t 
I....... i have used Tint M.ui;s “A" IIRasd Comclktr Maxube on my wheat along- Is as above Btated. It Is proper to adi raB . u ( . ttU itflower and ot 
side of stable manure, nnd the results were equally as good with the Mams and Kr^ytrs In Gonnee^ ^ pgfatoand wheat farmers of New Jersey, all 
did not cost <>ne half as much as stable. I shall want more of the Mafks Mamjrb on^ tha f er tlK»ers the value Indicated by the chemists." 
THE MAPES FORMOLA AND PERUVIAN GUANO 00., 
ANCsVV * * . m «a i « r ^ A M ALA/ 1 t 
Dr Henry Stewart gives In the agricultural columns *5® 
weekly edition Feb. lath, 18M2, a full detailed account of 8KVEN aUCCESSIVK 
nnnn ’ineludltur Potatoes Kye, Hungarian Grass, Sweet Com, on three 
at SSt »oor from a sinule applicationof three bags per 
of THE MAlTs POTATO MAN UHE, 18W, No fertiliser of manure of any kind 
used since. 
HIGH STANDARD AND CHEAPNESS OF 
THE MAPES MANURE. 
Extract from the AMERICAN AGRICULTURIST, February, 1882. 
.. A mnn a the makers of fertiliser* ' the Mapes Formula, and Peruvian Guano 
of some TimiTV anxlysks, made at different exponmenl station*, i ne samp e» 
were In part sent by farmer* and in part were taken by representatives or ine 
stations from stock on sale. In __ 
NO CASE DID THE PERCENTAGES OK THEI VALUABLE CONSTITUENTS FALL 
SHOUT OK THE AMOUNT CLAIMED. 
The valuation at the stations, as calculated from the analysis, averaged for the 
whole ____ 
$1.15 PER TON HIGHER THUN THE SELLING PRICE. 
HAmnleH were worth rather more and Home a little less, but the average 
is as°above stated T It Uproper to add that the reHults obtained by the tobaooo- 
growers In Connecticut, the growers of asparagus, cauliflower and other_ triutk 
on Long Island, and tie potato and wheatfarmert of New Jerjey.,011 show that 
I the plants find In the fertlllaers the value Indicated by the chemists. 
I2f~ New- stock of No. 1 Peruvian Guano. “ Standard." “ I»bos " and “ Guaranteed.' 
MAST.FOOS&CO. 
SPRINGFIELD, 0 
MASeyACTOkkBs or him 
masm 
® c 
00 • 
OS “ 
oo £ 
jz a 
H « 
PERUVIAN GUANO. 
1 70 FRONT ST., | 1MNTS 
EngineS 
Strong and Durable 
WILL NOT 
SHRINK, SWELL, 
WARP, or 
RATTLE in the Wind 
ALSO, THK 
BUCKEYE 
FORCE 
N«ver Frtezei la 
Winter Time. 
AB"Bend for our 
Cti-cnlara and 
Prtw LUh 
Monarch and Yonng America 
CORN AND COB MILLS 
Only milts made with 
Out Out Steel Orlniere 
Warranted superior to 
anv In use,for all purposes. 
Will grind faster, run 
easier and wear longer. 
Saltqfavtion guaranteed. 
Also, Corn Kbellera, Feed 
Cutters, Cider Mills, &c. 
Send for circulars and 
prices. 
Manufactured by 
WHITMAN AGRICULTURAL CO., 
Bt. Louis, Mo. 
Anriciiituru.1 (Jheinista, | S8 Front Street, New i ork. 
»bos " and “ Guaranteed." Send for prices. ___ 
” HKAnOUARTKRH FOR 
, JERSEY RED SWINE ! 
CHESTER WHITES,POLAND CHINA, 
iLSrcOTSviofonSi SOUTHDOWN SHEEP, 
ScorcBjper^Hj,^ 
- All stock warranted ttrsbclaee, and entire sabs- 
^ faction alws>T> guaranteed. Add resu 
W.ATLEE BURPEE & Co. 
210 dk 221 Church Street, PhltadelphU. 
IT WILL PAY YOU, 
If you ran » Mower or K«apcr, to pur- 
im ft ehs* 0 • ROSS Slokl* ariudor. 
I It W«l P»J juu if .von want to handle s 
"Ttmcn reliable Sickle Grinder and one that is 
sold at rsaeonshls prloes. to nudU the 
Lb BOSS. Yore Ro»» Sickle Grinder* sr. 
/I^9 1 k gold every year th»n all othsr* made. 
IM \ PL Send for Price Liet and Cataloras. 
U 1 1F\ Agents wanted for unoccupied territory. 
/ m|\pOWELL & DOUGLAS, 
| jr’ l Waukegan, Ills. - ill 
f Manu'f’ra of Pump*, Windmills, etc. | ! 
WATERTOWN PHOSPHATE 
WW w ■■ ■■ SEND FOR PAMPHLET. 
Six 111! This Is a true bone Btipcrphospbute, and 
may he used on arty crop, in tho bill or drill 
i or broadcast, elt horic/f A or without manure, 
and w ill produce a much earlier and larger 
„ crop. In the Report'd the Mass. Inspector 
f of Fertilisers, it* valuation is from &3 to 
I ! «10 per ton higher than other Phosphates | 
which sell at tho tamo price. Ibs wut 
I! year over 3000 ton* were sold against TOO 
tons throe years ago, showing that It is 
I liked hvthfl farmers. If there is no local 
| agent near you, *t-nd to us. 
111 Also for Mle ST0CKBRID6E MANURES. 
Platform and Three Spring [ibWKER FERTILIZER C( 
WAGONS & BUGGIES. -- 
HILLandDRILL 
Cau now grasp a fortune. Outfit 
worth £10 free. RIDEOUT & CO., 
10 Barclay St., New York. 
NEW YORK. 
Read the advertisements in this paper. 
EVERY WAGON IS FULLY WARRANTED. 
These are the handsomest, lightest and strongest 
wagons of their kind in the market. Every Farmer 
and Dairyman should hove one. Correspondence so¬ 
licited. Send for Illustrated Catalogue. Address 
WATERTOWN SPItlNIJ WAGON CO., 
AVnlertowii, N. V. 
WltOUESALK AQKNCIE8. 
Green A Liclitenberger, 2-i & 26 North Clinton Street, 
Chicago, Ul- 
C. W. Shatto, Minneapolis, Minn. 
Dalton Bros., Bt. Louis. Mo. 
Trumbull, Reynolds & Allen, Kansas City, Mo. 
Deere ft Co., Council Bluffs, Iowa. 
BOSTON ft ,N|W YORK J 
BIDWELL Strawberry. 
THE FINEST IN THE COUNTRY. 
E n nfir hus the largest and finest stock 
wM Kill* In the coun try, which he offers 
■ I a MVL a t very tow rates. 
Catalogue free. Address _ 
E. P. ROE, 
Cornwall-on-Hudson, N. Y. 
