844 
THE RURAL 
When are thieves like leopards! When 
they are “spotted.” 
To be Let. —Some young swells’ faces— 
they are generally vacant. 
“How is business?” asked a man of a glazier 
—“Putty good,” was the reply. 
When we used to quarrel with our little 
brother over a piece of pie, he always took our 
part as well as his own. 
It was remarked of a market gardener that 
although he had been growing sage for years 
he had not grown wise at all. 
“Six Girls” is the title of the latest novel. 
It Is expected that a sequel, entitled “Our 
Broken Gate,” will be issued soon. 
“Landlady,” said he, “the coffee isn’t 
settled.—“ No,” she replied; “ but It comes as 
near it as your lost month’s bill for board is.” 
Stingy ok Sugar.— Dobb3 once boarded 
with a woman “ so stingy of her sugar,” that 
when she stewed a quart of gooseberries they 
seemed sharpened to a point. 
Tbere is a Limit.—F irst young lady, “ I 
ooulo sit here for ever.” Second ditto: “And 
I till lunch time." 
“ You promised to pay that bill yesterday.” 
said an angry creditor to a debtor.—“ Yes,” 
calmly replied the other; “but to err is hu¬ 
man, to forget divine; and I forgot it” 
“ Don't staud on ceremony; come in," said 
a lady to an ol 1 farmer, as she op9ned the 
door.—“Why, my goodoess I—excuse me, 
ma’am—I thought I was standlu’ on the door¬ 
mat l” 
Two gentlemen were lately examining a 
portion of a plow in a market-place. “I’ll 
bet a dollar,” said one. “you do not know 
what this i? for.”—*' Done,” said the other; 
“it is for sale.” The bet was won and the 
wager paid. 
“Oh, John!" said an aunt to her spend¬ 
thrift nephew—“ob, John, you wouldn’t 
pawn the watch your uncle gave you, would 
you?”—“Yes,” answered John, “I’d pawn 
anythtug. even the ‘silent watches of the 
night,’ if I couli Bad a pawnbroker who’d 
take ’em.” 
When Patrick O’Flynn was seen with his 
oolisr and his bosom sadly begrimed, and was 
indignantly asked by his officer, “Patrick 
O’Flynn, bow long do you wear a shirt?” he 
replied, “ Twenty-eight inches, sir.” 
“I say, Jim,’ inquired a young urchin of 
his companion, who was but a few years 
older than hir’self, “ what does ' p. m.’ mean 
after them figures on that there railway bill? 
Jim responded, conscious of his own wisdom, 
“Penny a mile, to be sure l”—*' Well, and ‘ a. 
that means—that means.” said 
Jim, hesitating- 1 * that means a ’a’ pen’y a 
mile 1” 
Fear Not. 
All kidney and urinary complaints, especially 
Bright's Disease, Diabetes, and I,Ivor trouble?, Hop 
Bitters will surely and lastingly cure. Cases exactly 
like your own have been cured la your own neigh¬ 
borhood, and you can find reliable proof at hom9 of 
what Hop Ritters has and can do. 
tiver. Kidney and Bristol’* Blseaae. 
A medicine that destroys the germ or cause of 
Bright's Disease, Diabetes. Kidney nr.d Liver Com- 
plaluis, sort hus p over to root them out of the sys¬ 
tem, Is above all nrlco. Such a med cine Is Hop Bit¬ 
ters And positive proof of tills can be. found by one 
trial, >>r by asking your neighbors, who have been 
cured by it.—/Ida. 
KEEP THE SYSTEM 
The air is mild, the wind Is still. A happy thought floats taro* his The wicked miller Jack espied, 
As Jack draws near eld Grinder’s mind— An<1 t,lc beast should ave a 
mill. “ My bea9t unto this pall I’ll bind.’’ ride. 
ft 
Behold the miller’s great delight 
To view the donkey's airy night. 
Jack still too near the mill will The mill has stopped,still Is the sal', 
go, Jack’s donkey’s dead-but where’s 
And finds himself again laid low. his tall! 
For 1883 is an elegant book of 150 pages, several colored plates cfFloWerS 
and Vegetables, and 1000 Illustrations of the choicest Flowers, Plants ana 
Vegetables, and directions for growing. Send on your Name and Postofiiee ad.ir , 
Ten Cents, and we will send you a copy, postage paid. This Is not a quarter of Its cost. I nper am, pr.ming 
and matter are not surpassed for excellence hy anything in the country, 3Jid the Illustrations are In t ie ng u* 
style of art. We publish both an English and a German edition. 
.TAMES VTC K. Itoolicster. N. Y. 
jT, b.—I f you afterwords order Seeds, deduct the 10 cents. 
nVOBlOGTiROADCAST SE E0 
THE LARGEST, ABLEST, AND FRESHEST 
Religious and Literary Newspaper, 
THE INDEPENDENT, 
NEW* YORK. 
S3 per year; 85 for two years. 
“TRIAL TRIP” - 30 cents for a uioutli. 
Send postal card at once for specimen copy and 
J udge for yorseif. 
Address the Ixdkpendent, New York City. 
rARWIQRS and PARMBRf’ SONS 
CAN MAKE FAR MONTH 
During the Kail uud Wiut.r. For particulars. 
Address, J. C. MoU URD If & CO., KaUadetpula, Fa. 
DES MOINES, 
Pie on Mention Rural NeuhYorktr. 
IOWA, 
^ regular with Tropic-Fruit 
Laxative, and you will al. 
S' dy jt.-yfV ways feel and look well 
/ -OS' J jl T/a \ It l* bettor than pill* and 
be usual purgatives. Un 
v— l,kethem udfK8not Bl(>k " 
I A #§■ en or w cakeu the stomBCh. 
LMAMi'lVt Thed se Is sma'l, the taste 
WT 5 7t-"A?K delicious Ladles and chll- 
’Vru dren like it. Try a 2? cent 
\r box and you will be sure 
to adopt it as a family necessity. 
Sold by all Druggists. 
PICTURES 
GIVEN AWAY. 
NEW AND ELEGANTLY ILLUSTRATED CATA- 
LOGUEOF 128 PAGES. ISSUED BY THE CO OPERA, 
TIVE DRESS ASSOCIATION (LIMITED). JUST OUT- 
AXD WILL BE SENT FREE TO PATRONS LIVING IN 
THE COUNTRY. ____ 
LARGE AND VARIED ASSORTMENTS OF DRY 
Q00D3 AT LOWEST PRICES. ORDERS BY MAIL 
PROMPTLY FILLED AND MERCHANDISE DIS¬ 
PATCHED TO ALL PARTS OF THE COUNTRY. 
WHEN ORDERING QOOD.S PLEASE MENTION 
THIS PAPER. ADD LESS 
GO-OPERATIVE DRESS ASSOCIATION 
(LIMITED), 
31 and 33 West 23d St, Ntw York. 
HUMANE PTTRHY COMB. 
A NOVELTY. CIRCULMtS FREE. ALL LEAD¬ 
ING DEALERS KEEP THEM Address 
Ml LI. Bit COMB CO. 
Factory. C6, f,8, 7u a, U 72 Ogden Place, Chicago, 
Hill Manufactory. 
Established 1851. 
OR1BT JVI ILLS 
or riuutcH noun btokk. 
Portable Mill* for Farm- 
era, Saw Mill*. etc.; 16 sl¬ 
oes; over 2,000 In uae. 
Price from $8" UP- Com¬ 
plete Mill and Shelter,895. 
A boy can grind and keep 
In order. Adapted to any 
kind of suitable power. 
Complete Flouring and 
Coro Mllle. 
Kordyke & Mnrmon Co . Indianapolis. Ind. 
i ;ll 
‘m-mk 
THE 
GreatAmerican 
T 
E 
Company 
1 
Good News 
TO 
; ^-v* \ '-iv 
Tii«» b.-nt BrondcuHi Sreil-wwer ill the market. A common-M-nse, labor-saving Machine* 
Sow® perfecth 'all kinds ®f Wheat, Bye. Flax. Barley, Oat*. Buckwheat, Peas. Coin, 
iiii 1 , 1.11 rillII Miller, Clover. Tluiotliys also 1’lnster, l.iine, ^alt, Luunn. Aatiea and all the 
va?iou?l*Mo(H»hnV«si bo fact, everything requiring brondcuM n^ It la quickly nttuched to nus 
favm-ivuKOU. A u*am walking one mile sown four Keren \>ueui. 
Read the following from one of the larged wheat farms in Mimusota. 
n nr nnno n,. n Mixstueous, August 17th, 1882. 
c. W. DOUR, “ KAt Th e Seeder you sent to E. W. Roberts, superintendent of rnv lami, Benson Minnesota, 
wa* tested In sowing grain and grass reeds, »od In all cases worked perfectly. It la strongly built,and Is a 
very valuable "machfue on any farm where seed* of any kind are .own broadcast. 
I wish to add here, that the seeds which came from your house were the best we have ever a b"d *’“ >m 
any quarter, and we have bought from most of the Urge seedsmen. Vours Truly, A. O. WILCOX. 
$26-00- 
Dellvered on board the cars, ready for shipment. 
MANUFACTURED BY 
THE DE5 MOINES MANUFACTURING COMPANY, 
C. W. DORR, Secretary, 
LADIES! 
(Jet up Clulin for our CELEBRATED TF, 18 nnd *e- 
cuu-tt braiu.uil MOSS-11 USE or GOLD-BAND 
TEA-SET (41 pi c« *) i-ur uwu Importation, out* of 
these beautiful te»-*eis given away to the party scml- 
Ing a club lor $23, This is the gri alesl Inducement 
ever litre red. Send In your orders end enjoy u cup 
of GOOD TEA. and atlrie* me time procure u HAND¬ 
SOME TEA-SK T. No huniting. Good Teas anc , afle.. 
and -li'C. per pound. Excellent Tea* ft*- and tide,.and 
very hen ham I'.V. to » 0 When Older lug he sure 
and mention what kind of Teas you want -wncllier 
Oolong, Mixed Japan, Imperial. Young 11) son, Gun- 
p wdtsr or English Urcakiu&t. We are the oldest ana 
Ini Rest Tea Company In the business The rep u 1st loll 
of oar Imuge requires no comment. For full particu¬ 
lars address THE GREAT A MEXICAN TEA CO.. 
F O. Dux 2M>. 31 and »1 Vesoj St., N. V. 
BRbilNIG, FRONEFIELD & CO.’S 
VEGETABLE 
Cattle Powder, 
• lalms to be the xeldomfuillny cure for all sicknesses 
of Hume*, Calll-, Swine or limit ry Furthermore, t 
will 1NCKKA8R TIIK Y 1 KLD "» M Mt AND BUTTKU 111 quail- 
llty and quality over 2.7 per cent.; fattens oil one- 
fourth LKKK kicku. If 32 year * of popularity, inany 
hundreds of gross yearlv sales with thousands of 
written testimonials volunteered u*. are MUflleleut 
endorscnicnis In behalf of this Powder to rank It A9 
tiiic iikst, such honor* we really po*ac»». Apply for 
our book of particulars, free 
Try one pack l'rlce, 25 cent*, postage paid. 
K. A. MILLER. Philadelphia Pa Proprietor. 
In writing please mention Rural Nkw-Yomcrr. 
IMPROVED EVAPORATORS 
Evaporate MtPl.E SAP faster nnd wl i?3'* -i 
less ruel than any apparatus known, couse- pT-’e 
queiitiy make lighter colored and higher 
flavor, d sugar. — _ «- c—-c-.lST W 
S- n.l postal for j 
clrcular^and tea- 
farhmSiine 
COMPANY, 
Bellows Folia. Vt. — 
