NOV. 20 
N RIVALED 
ttmorotts* 
“It is true,” said an old philosopher, “ that 
two heads are usually better than one, but it 
never could be thus with the two heads on the 
same pin.” 
Tub boy who left the piece of ice in the sun 
to warm up. was no more foolish than the 
man who opened the store and expected peo¬ 
ple to hunt him out and buy his goods, without 
advertising. 
A man who married a Jewess shortly after¬ 
wards joined the temperance society, and never 
dared to kiss his wife from that day, because 
he had considered himself prohibited by the 
pledge from meddling with Jew-lips, 
He said he was bashful, and blushed pain¬ 
fully, aud asked her if she could spell bashful. 
She said she might do it on a pinch, and spelled 
it b-a-B-h-f-o-o 1 Then he looked uneasily at 
her and began to wonder if she were unutter¬ 
ably ignorant or superlatively sarcastic.— 
Lampton. 
A rxvB-TEAB -olij son of a family the other 
day stood watching his baby brother, who was 
making a great noise over having his face 
washed. The little fellow at length lost his 
patience, and stamping his foot, said : “You 
think you have lots of trouble, but you don’t 
know anything about it. Wait till you’re big 
enough to get a lickin' and then you’H see— 
won't he, mamma ?” 
A notion seller was offering a Yankee clock, 
finely varnished and colored and with a look¬ 
ing glass in front, to a certain lady, not re¬ 
markable for personal beaoty. “Why, it is 
beautiful,” responded the vender. “ Beautiful, 
indeed ! a look at it almost frightens me,” said 
the lady. “Then, marm," said Jonathan, “I 
guess you’d better take one that ain’t got no 
looking glass.” 
-- 
One of the Impossibilities. 
Among physical impossibilities Is that of enjoy¬ 
ing bodily vigor while digestion Is disturbed, the 
bowels are Irregular, or the secretion and flow of 
bile interrunted. To correct these conditions 
which interfere—as they surely do—with the ac¬ 
quisition of strength and flesh, the dyspeptic, 
constipated Invalid should use Hostetter's Stom¬ 
ach Bittern, a medicine which has been accorded 
the highest sanction In professional quarters, and 
which time and experience have proved to be de¬ 
serving of the popularity which It. haa gained on 
its merits. Whether chronic disorders ol t he di¬ 
gestive or secretive organs Is due. as la usually the 
case, to a want or vigor and activity, or to tempo¬ 
rary irregularity In the performance ol their func¬ 
tions, tho Bitters has Invariably been found ade¬ 
quate to the task of furnishing those organs with 
renewed vigor or permanent regularity. 
UNLIKE PILLS, 
And the usual Purjmtivca is pleasant to take, 
And will prove at onn- tho nioet potent and harmless 
PHILOSOPHICAL. 
Jones—“Why. Brown, bow gray you're getiing!” 
Brown—“Ah ha! I don’t mind how gray I get, so long as I don’t get blue." 
LARGEST IMPORTERS 
AND 
Breeders of Holstein Cattle 
IN AMERICA. 
New Importations of 69 Head. 
TWO RECENT IMPORTATIONS OF 
CLYDESDALE STALLIONS. 
Large Breeders of 
Hambletonian Horses. 
Separate Catalogues issued. Correspondence solicited. 
SMITHS & POWELL, Syracuse, N. Y. 
S UUTCH COX/LIE PUPS FOR SALE, by 
Imp. Sir Colin. Send for circluar to 
L. E. VOGLEU, 
Bnlliwt-I), Ontario, Canada. 
Chart of Animal Classification, 
The Subkingdoms, Classes, Orders, aud Families, 
with examples, arranged according to the principles 
of classification I'rlc-e 1.1 cent*. Address 
A. B. GIUFFEN, (ill Broad at., Newark, K. J. 
rilDER PRESSES AND GRATERS. 
V > Boomkr A Bohohkrt Press Co.. Syracuse. N. Y 
Monarch and Young America 
CORN AND COB MILLS 
Only mills made with 
Cast Cait Steel Grinders. 
Warranted superior 
dir - t° a, ‘l ' n ear, for all pur- 
poses. Will grind faster, 
==#^(||, 1 l|'Yjp- run easier and wear Ion- 
f ger. Satisfaction guar* 
^=1 v! iWSiSlSR^: an feed. Also, Corn Sliell- 
11 \tawaPtj L „~:~ er«. Feed Cutters, Cider 
Mills, tic. Send for circu- 
— r* —^ - — lorn and prlcce. 
Manufactured by 
WHITMAN AGRICULTURAL CO , 
St. Louis, Mo. 
GET THE BEST FARM 
GRIST MILL 
The grinding parts are steel. 
Then take less pouter, are more 
durable, simple and cheap. Send 
for descriptive cntaluauc. 
W. L. BOYER & BRO., 
Philadelphia, Pa. ' 
AlsoManulTs. of Celebrated Union florae power, etc. 
Publishers Webster’s School Dictionaries, 
I3S and 140 Grand St-, New York. 
BOOKWALTER ENGINE 
Compact, substantial, eco¬ 
nomical and easily managed. 
Guaranteed to work well and 
give full power claimed. 
Engine and boiler complete, 
Including governor, feed¬ 
pump, drive-pulley, etc., etc. 
at the low price of 
B Horse power.... $240 
4# “ .... 280 
6Jtf “ .... 370 
Manufactured at Springfield, 
Ohio. Send for Descriptive 
HASPAiki s » -■_ e - Ohio. Send for Descriptive 
Pamphlet. 
JAMES LEFFEL &C0„ Springfield, 0, 
Or, 1 tO Liberty St.. Now York City. 
PAYNE’S FARM ENGINES 
F INE OPPORTUNITY for a young man of enter¬ 
prise and some capital. For Sale—One of the 
finest Sheep Ranches in Colorado—Extensive range- 
good feed and plenty of running water the year 
round, together with a flock of Sheep. Address 
D. PERRY, Bykbs, Colorado. 
UWDSSHOMES 
IN SOUTHWEST MISSOURI. 
1,000,000 acres well-watered Timber 
and Prairie Lands along the line of the 
St. Louis and San Francisco K. R. for sale 
at from $2.50 to $8.00 per acre on 
seven yours’ time, Excellent for Stock, 
Fruit, and Fanning. The best Tobacco 
Region in tho West. Short winters, con¬ 
venient markets, superior schools, low 
taxes, healthful climate, good society'. 
Free transportation from 8t. Louis to pur¬ 
chasers of land* Send for maps and circulars. 
W. H. COFFIN, Land Commissioner, 
Temple Building, St. Louis. Mo. 
NOTICE TO^AGENTS. 
Any respectable person may become our Agent. 
Postmasters arc requested to act as our Agents. 
A Cash Commission of Twenty-Five Ceuta will be 
allowed Agents for each yearly subscriber. 
One name or a dozen names may be forwarded at 
any tune. Credit is given the Agent for every name 
sent until canceled by Premium, 
Address 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER, 
84 Park Bow, N. Y 
Patent spark-arresting Farm and Dairy Engines of 
all sizes, from U to 12 horse-power, mounted or nu- 
mouutod. Warranted to be the Best and Cheapest 
engines mode. Prices from S# 150 upwards. Heud 
for Illustrated Catalogue “ A ’* which will give you 
full information aud prices to 
B. W. PAYNE A SONS, 
Box 841, Corning, N. Y. 
BADGER STATE 
Butter Oolor. 
Received the only honorable mention granted to any 
Butter Color at the International Dairy Fair of 1879. 
If not for sale by your dealer, send for circular. &e., to 
the manufacturer, E. SHELDON, Fort Atkin¬ 
son, VVis. 
There should be no middle ground in the selection 
of a Dictionary. 
WEBSTER’S 
M is the standard for the English Language; 
and the Pocket Edition of that great work iB 
a useful vade meeuvn lor every day In the 
year. 
Contains 18,000 Words. Rules of Spelling, 
Tables of Money. Weights aud Measures, 
Abbreviations, Words, Phrases, Proverbs, 
ike., from the Greek, the Latin and the Mod¬ 
ern Languages. Morocco Tucks, Gilt edges. 
By mail, when uot otherwise obtainable, on receipt of 
gl. For sale by dealers generally. 
inc nmiunm. dui icn ouluR 
ternational Dairy Fair, Now York, by the Committee 
of Judges, also at the St. Louts aud Illinois State Fairs. 
It is the cheapest and beet in the market. Cheese color 
by the gallon. For sale by dealers. Manufactured by 
R. S. WHITE & CO.. Fort Atkinson, Wls. Write for 
circulars and price list. 
Mention Tmt Rural New-Yorker. 
illlilllllill'illlillllllliw 
Mill Mamifaetory 
Eitab.UbM nett 
CRIST MILLS, 
OvFRKXCH RUHR STONE 
Portable Mill" for Farmers, 
Raw Kills «to.; <R «!r..<; over 
2.000lu u.e. Prios from $80 
up. Complete Mill sod Shell- 
er, |95. A boy c»ngrind sod 
keep Inorder. Adapted to soy 
klDo of .nitatile power. Cem- 
filtte Piouriujc and Com Mills. 
NOBDYKK* MARM ON 00., 
Indianapolis. lud. 
RICHMOND CITY MILL 
RICHMOND, IND. ^ 
Manufacturers of 
nxitsli STONES 
und 
Flouring; Mill Machinery. 
W e manufacture_ 
the best French Burr 
CORN ANO HID MILLS 
In the country- Send W I fk .Jra 
for description and MllllllInTiniYnrna ill 
ate you saw this 
tTTRAL N.-Y. 
works; 
i. x. L. 
FEED MILL. 
» AU Iron but the Hopper. 
Cheap, Ellcclive and 
-CAN BE RUN BY ANY 
Capacity from ti to 30 bushelH per hour, according to 
size. Semi for Catalogue and plicae. 
U. 8. WIND ENGINE & PUMP CO., 
Batavia, Kaue Co., Ill., 0. S. A. 
Thk request often made by publishers that readers 
will mention their Journals when answering advertise¬ 
ments, seems to us a very reasonable oue. Such men¬ 
tion is a helpful aud friendly act to the Journal men¬ 
tioned and enables the advertiser to determine which 
Journals are the best advertising mediums. Reference 
to our advertising columns win show there Is not one 
advertisement of an exceptional or ambiguous charac¬ 
ter admitted. In so far as this la possible we hold 
ourselves responsible for their high-standing and 
trustworthiness. 
mimoiimucmk, Headache, 1*1 Inn, and all dis¬ 
orders aniano /Vow an obstructed state of the system, 
t is incomparably the 6eW curative extant. Avoid im- 
thi ; article called for. 
Tuoiii-p ki it laxative is put up in 
bronzed tin boxes only. Price 60 cents. Ask your drug- 
tot Descriptive Pamphlet, or address the proprie- 
tor. J. E. HETHERINGTON. 
36 Bark Place, New York. 
CAR PETS; 
SPECIAL SALE 
IIFBTW IBB ill 
IRII IMin IHK 
FOR THE NEXT THIRTY DAYS WE WILL OF¬ 
FER AN IMMENSE STOCK OF THESE STY T LES OF 
CARPETS IN NEW AND ORIGINAL DESIGNS AT 
Great Reductions 
IN PRICES. 
We have also our usual largo assortment of AXMIN- 
STERS, WILTONS, VELVETS, THREE-PLYS, 
MATS, RUGS, &o., 
OF OUR OWN MAKE. 
AT OUR WELL-KNOWN USUAL LOW PRICES. 
J.&1D0BS0N 
MANUFACTURERS AND RETAILERS 
40 & 42 WEST 14Tn STREET, N. Y. 
Near Sixth Avenue Elevated Railroad Station. 
JOHN VAN GAASBEEK, 
Manager, 
