844 
DEC. 18 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER. 
A Maine paper says: “ The types last week 
made us say that ‘ the showers were not suffi¬ 
cient to meet the wants of the * milkmen,’ &c., 
instead of ‘ millmen.’ ’’ 
.Judge to an unprepossessing tramp : “What 
are your means of living?” “ I am an inven¬ 
tor.” *' Ah, indeed. And what have you in¬ 
vented ?” “ Nothing as yet; but I am on the 
lookout.” 
A Philadelphia quack informs the public 
that he is not exclusive: " If a patient wants 
it gentle and mild. I’m a homoeopath ; and when 
anybody wants thunder and lightning, I’m an 
allopath.” 
The editor wrote '* An Evening with Sat¬ 
urn," and it came out in the paper, “ An Eve¬ 
ning with Satan." It was mighty rough, but 
the foreman said it was the work of the 
‘‘devil.’’ And it looked that way.—Norwich 
Herald. 
I said to my little girl one day—“ what a 
large forehead you have. It is just like your 
father’s, you could driven pony carriage round 
it. To which her brother five years old, Baid, 
“Yes, ma, but On pa’s you can see the marks 
of the wheels.” 
‘‘What is your father’s occupation ?" asked 
the teacher of a new scholar. “Mum?” 
“What does he do for a living?” “Oh, he 
bets on thur election, 1 guess. Mann told him 
last night that's all he’d done for a month.”— 
Boston Transcript. 
Nothing maddens amau more than to come 
down to breakfast and havehiswife tell him that 
he has been talking in his sleep, and refuse to 
give away what he said. Not that his con¬ 
science troubles him ; oh. no! be is only after 
psychological facts.- Lowell Citizen. 
“ Do you love her still ?” asked the Judge of 
a man who wanted a divorce. “ Certainly 1 
do,” said he; “1 love her better still than any 
other way, but the trouble is she will never be 
still." The Judge, who is a married man him¬ 
self, takes the case under advisement. 
Everybody has heard of the jolly Dutch¬ 
man who, when the steamboat was likely to 
sink, succeeded, after mucb trouble, in finding 
a life-preserver large enough to fit him. While 
he was trying his best to blow it up, a young 
fellow standing by said: “ You can’t fill that 
with wind, it leaks. Don't you hear it siss?” 
“ Ish dot so?" he replied. “Veil, I dinks 
den, 1 better keep de vind in myself.” 
And the usual Purgatives, is''pleasant to take, 
And will prove at once the most potent and harmless 
System 1!enovator aud tUemimer that has yet 
been brought to public notice. For Const ipation. 
HiiiouMnnMM, llradiirhfi, Piles, and all dis¬ 
order* arising from an obstructed slats of the system, 
it is incomparably the ( test curulivt) extant. Avoid im¬ 
itations: insist on getting the article called for. 
TROPIC-FRUIT LAXATIVE is put up in 
bronzed tin boxes only. Price tie cunts. Aslc vour drug¬ 
gist for Descriptive Pamphlet, or address the proprie¬ 
tor, J. E. IIICTIlERINliTON. 
Park Place, New York. 
BOOKWALTER ENGINE 
Compact, substantial, eco¬ 
nomical and easily managed. 
Guaranteed to work well and 
(five full power claimed. 
Engine and boiler complete 
Including governor, feed 
pump, drive pulley, etc., etc. 
at the low price of 
8 Horse power ... >B340 
iA -\ Manufactured at Springfield, 
_ ^ . Ohio. Send for Descriptive 
Pamphlet. 
JAMES LEFFEL & CO., Springfield, 0, 
Or. 110 Liberty 8L, New York City. 
Monarch and Young.America 
CORN AND COD MILLS 
Only mills made with 
Cast Cast Steel Grinders. 
u. Warranted superior 
to any in umi, for all pur. 
poses, VyU! grind faster, 
! run easier and wear lon¬ 
ger. Satisfaction f/uar- 
anterd. Also, Oort: Shelt¬ 
ers, Feed Cutters. Cider 
Mills. &c. Wend for circu¬ 
lars and prices. 
STARCHES 
Manufactured by 
WHITMAN AGRICULTURAL CO , 
Ht. Louis. Mo. 
ftlCHMON 1>, I NO 
Manufacturers of 
DRILL STONES 
and 
Flouring Mill Maohmory. 
W e manufacture (AS 
tlie best French Burr •[ 
CORN AND FEED MILLS 
bend ML . 
Regularity Ensures Health 
Of the physical structure. To restore it persons 
whose, bowels are out of order, or whose digestion 
Is Imperfect, should use Hostetler’s Stomach Bit¬ 
ters, a corrective of disordered conditions of the 
secretive, evacuattve, and digestive orgaus with¬ 
out a peer. The most, serious consequences result 
from a neglect of reformatory measures, where 
constipation Is allowed to gain headway. For this 
as tor many ocher disorders usually found in con¬ 
junction with costiveness, such as dyspepsia, bil¬ 
iousness, nervous derangement, headaches, ver¬ 
tigo. morning nausea and the like, the Bitters 
has long been recognized by the public and the 
medical profession as a genuinely efnoatlous reme¬ 
dy. Its action Is never sudden and griping, like 
that of a violent purgative, nor does It like tne 
average cathartic, tend to deplete the system and 
weaken the bowels. On the contrary. It Invigor¬ 
ates aud soothes while It regulates. 
(Late 502 and 504 Broadway) 
184 FIFTH AVENUli, 
BROAD WA Y and 23d St., NEW YORK. 
In the countr’-- 
for deHcription and 
prices. 
State you saw this 
In Rural N.-y. 
BADGER STATE 
(English Dye, all sizeB aud qualities) 
Fur-Lined Circulars 
AND WRAPS, 
Far Trims, luffs ail Collars, 
ER PRESSES AND GRATERS. 
J.ESTEY&Cch^f 
Brattleborq Vt. xs 
Send postal lor free Illustrated Catalogue, 
THE NATURAL BUTTER COLOR 
Was awarded the diploma of highest merit at the In¬ 
ternational Dairy Fair, New York, by the Committee 
of Judges, also at the St. Louis arid Illinois State Fairs. 
It Is the cheapest and best in the market. Cheese color 
by the gallon, f or sale by dealers. Manufactured by 
E. S. WHITE .v CO., Fort AtkinsoD, Wis. Write tor 
airculars and price list. 
Mention The Ruual NewYorkku. 
COLUMBIA BICYCLE. 
Bicycle riding is an accomplish- 
meut easily acquired, aud is rapid¬ 
ly becoming the most popular of 
nut-door sports; as a healtn restora¬ 
tion is invaluable, bringing into 
action every muscle of the body, 
strengthening the lungs, and iu- 
vigoratiug the wearied brain. The 
practicability of the machine is 
generally conceded throughout the 
country, aud the thousands of bi¬ 
in Large Assortments, Choice Styles. Low Prices. 
Order* by mail, or nuy informal ion de. 
aired, will receive special anil prompt niton 
lion. 
GET THE BEST FARM 
PAYNE’S FARM ENGINES 
The Cincinnati Weekly Times. 
THE BANNER YVEEKLY OF THE WEST. 
An eight-page paper only One Oollnra year, and a 
magnificent engraving ’’two leet wide and almost 
threo feet Jong" free, and postage paid to every sub 
scriber. Address 
WEEKLY T1IUKS, Cincinnati, Ohio. 
t'e?' The grinding parts arc steel, 
ff- They take less power, are more 
, //i/gaMIK durable, simple and cheap. Send 
A f (rr ilsscrivtive e-ataloaue. 
w. L. BOYER & BRO., 
Philadelphia, Pn. 
Also Mamif’rs. of Celebrated Union Horse power, etc 
cycles in daily' use arc constantly increasing in num¬ 
ber. bend 8c. stamp tor catalogue, with price, list and 
full information. 'J HK VO I'll MV '<* CO. 
uhii Washington Street, Boston, Mass. 
AMMOTH BRONZE TURKEYS for Sale. Ad- 
. dress C. W. Horton, Wcstown. Orange Co., N. Y. 
To the RURAL NEW-YORKER 
S4 Park Row, New York. 
Patent spark-arresting Farm and Dairy Engines of 
all sizes, from ‘2 to 12 horse-power, mounted or un¬ 
mounted. Wamuited to be the Best and Cheapest 
engines made. Price* from SI .'ill upwards. Send 
for Illustrated Catalogue 11 A ” widen will give yon 
full information and price* to 
B. W. F’A VNU At SONS, 
Bqx 84J v CornliiK, N. Y. 
Please find the names and addresses of 
I inclose $ . 
subscribers, at $ 
(Signed) 
NAME. 
POST OFFICE. 
COUNTY. 
STATE, 
1- . 1 
2. 
. 
3. 
‘ 
. 
4. 
' 
5. 
P. S.—Six cents additional in stamps must be enclosed if seeds are desired. 
Mill Manufactory 
KstAbliKherl 1861 , 
CRIST MILLS, 
Os FRENCH BUHR BTONK 
Portable Hill* for Formers, 
How Mill, elo.; Ifi nires; over 
S.OOOto use. Price from fSO 
■ip. Complot* Hill and Hhvll- 
er, A boy con grind and 
keep In order. Adapted »o ony 
kind of miilsbl* power. Com¬ 
plete Flouring end Corn If 11t>. 
N0KPYKK4 IfARMON CO., 
ludionopolla, Ind. 
Tint ran ucut often made by publishers that readers 
will mentinn their journals when answering advertise¬ 
ments, seems to us a very reasonable emu. Such men¬ 
tion la a helpful and friendly act to tlm Journal men¬ 
tioned and enables the advertiser to determine which 
Journals are th« best advertising medium*. Reference 
to our advertising columns will show there is not one 
advertisement of an exceptional or ambiguous charac¬ 
ter admitted. In so far as tlila la possible we hold 
ourselves responsible for their high-stand i ng and 
trustworthiness 
