430 
JULY 3 
like an Indian’s memory, and may every neighbor 
irhom he has disturbed by ills vllllanous noise 
grow fat, and sleek, and rich, and live to beat him 
tor the only office he ever cared for!—Detroit Tree 
Press. 
-- 
BRIC-A-BRAC. 
THE PUZZLED CENSUS TAKER. 
" Dot any boys?" tho Marshal said 
To a lady from ovor tho Rhine ! 
And the lady shook her flaxen head 
And civilly answered, “ Ncin !" 
“ Got any girls ?” tho Marshal said 
To the lady from over the Rhine; 
And a<?ain the lady shook her head 
And civilly answered, “ Nein 1” 
•* But some are dead !” the Marshal said 
To the lady front over the Rhine; 
And again the lady shook her head 
And civilly answered “ Ncln ! ” 
“ Husband of course!" the Marshal said 
To tho lady from over the Rhine; 
Aud again she shook her flaxen head 
And civilly answered, “ Nein!” 
" The d—1 you have I" tho Marshal said 
To tho lady from over tho Rhine; 
And again she shook her flaxen head 
And civilly answered, " Nein !” 
“ Now what do you meau by shaking your head 
And always answering * Nine ?’ ” 
" Ioh kaun kein Bnglisch !” civilly said 
Tho lady from over the Rhine. 
—John G. Saxe. 
Young man, a diamond pin looks real nice and 
glistens bilghtiy, but when id a week supports a 
man and pin both, one or the other Is not genuine. 
If you love a girl and want to marry 'er 
And lack of pluck is the only barrier. 
Wo would make this mild suggestion: 
Shoot yourself or pop the uuestion. 
—Keokuk Constitution. 
Her mother said the little creature lived on 
love; but one month after marriage, when the 
grocery bill came In, he saw that he had made the 
greatest oversight of his life by not ascertaining 
what that particular love was lor. 
What surprised Noah more than aught else 
was that he received no application for free passes. 
And what astonished the public after the flood 
was, that the veteran navigator never tried to get 
up a complimentary benefit lor himself. 
A UNIVERSAL BIOGRAPHY. 
At ton, a child : at twenty, wild; 
At thirty, strong, if ever; 
At forty, wise; at fifty, rich; 
At sixty, good,or never.—Buffalo Courier. 
A country school-master began one morning 
the duties oi the day with prayer, as usual, but 
after prayer he went up and asked a little boy 
why he hadn’t shut his eyes during prayer, when 
the little boy responded, “ We are Instructed In 
the Bible to watch as well as pray.’’ 
A Quaker gentleman riding In a carriage, with 
a fashionable lady decked with a prolusion of jew¬ 
elry, heard her complain of a cold. Shivering in 
her lace bonnet and shawl as light as a cobweb, 
she exclaimed “ what shall I do to get warm?” 
“ I really don’t know," replied the Quaker, sol¬ 
emnly, *• unless thee put on another breastpinI” 
When clams are cheap and beef am dear, 
I lives on clams all frew de year; 
Sometimes I gets a big fat coon, 
I eats him up afore its noon. 
When ’tatere rot an* turnips fail, 
I’m fo’ced to live on toast an’ quail; 
When corn goes up an' meal am high, 
To live on pastry flour I try.-Detroit free Press. 
A votma man with an extremely powerful voice 
was in doubt which branch of the art to adopt. 
He went to Cherubim for advice. “ Suppose you 
sing me a few bars,” said the master. The young 
lellow sang so loud that the walls fairly shook. 
“ Now,” said he, “ what do you t hink i am best 
fitted for ?’’ “ Auctioneer," dryly replied Cheru¬ 
bini.—French, 
He came into the sanctum with a large roll or 
manuscript under his arm, and said very politely : 
“ i have a trifle here about the beautiful sunset 
yesterday, which was dashed off by a friend of 
mine, which 1 would like inserted if you have 
room." “ Plenty oi room. Just insert It your¬ 
self, ' replied the editor, gently pushing the waste- 
basket toward him.—Galveston News. 
Act one, they meet as iu a pleasant dream; 
Act two, ho ’ll treat to euda aud ice-cream; 
Act throe, hie cash, alas! is nearly played; 
Act lour, his girl grows cold, sedate and staid: 
Act five, just as his loveis ripe aud yellow. 
His girl is sporting with another fellow. 
THE JAPS. 
Young Japanese children scarcely ever cry, be¬ 
cause great care Is taken to keep out of their 
way every possible cause of irritation. It Is prob¬ 
ably In consequence of this tnat the Japs are, as 
a race, almost exasperatlngly good-humored, so 
that a servant severely scolded will often merely 
reply by a beaming smile. 
Ala. Tennyson once found himself surrounded 
by a throng of ladies who were more than usually 
gushing. He availed hlmsell of an opportune 
pause to remark that he looked upon women as 
the fiowers ot the human race. “ What a sweetly 
pretty Idea! How poetical I” exclaimed a chorus 
of six very voices. “ Yes, ladles," continued the 
laureate, 11 and the reason I think so is because 
they never shut up except when they sleep." 
Poets are now at a discount in that circle of 
culture. 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER. 
Jot antra. 
CONDUCTED BY MISS RAY CLARK. 
“THEY SAY.” 
EVA KDOKRTON. 
Of all the friends in human guise. 
That e'er was known to mortal eyes, 
That e’er was felt by anguished hearts, 
Which quivered 'neath its venomed darts. 
None can exceed the cruel sway 
Of this monster, with the name, “ They Say.” 
What gender ? I really' cannot toll. 
It answers either sex as well. 
Man (not a gentleman, Ah I no) 
Woman mo lady stoops so low). 
Children, repeating elders gammon ; 
Therefore I think we’ll call it common. 
What is its work ? look hero, look there, 
See troubled lives and face of care. 
Hours all fraught with bitterness. 
Devoid of any loved caress, 
See heads bowed low, and lips that pray,— 
The fiendish work of that. “ They Say.” 
It ferrets out each blotted line. 
That all Jives trace in course of time. 
Exulting' that the world may see 
Each page in life’s hard history; 
But passing by with careless tone 
The virtues we so strive to own. 
The girl with heart as light as air, 
Not long can hold her name so fair. 
For resting not, till bowed in grief. 
She wishes that her life be brief; 
Then satisfied, turns but away 
To seek another trembling prey. 
The hopeful youth and earnest man, 
Striving to Btand the active van 
Of the din of life, how long before 
His perjured name is floating o’er 
The town, village, public at large. 
Cruising round in dishonesty's barge. 
" They Say,” has many' a ruiued home. 
Many a heartache, many a moan, 
Heartless, rclentieas, It goes its way, 
This demon with cruel tongue, ** They Say.” 
But its reign will cease, when the spirit’s free, 
“ They Bay" cannot dwell iu the yet to be. 
-♦- 
FRIENDLY WORDS. 
From a.S. W. of Seneca Co., Ohio, “my wife 
says your paper grows better and better. I sup¬ 
pose you might as well put me down as a life 
subscriber.” 
C. C. A., one of our agents, writes that he is In 
reoelpt of a Mitchell wagon which we have 
awarded him as a premium on subscriptions, and 
it is rully what It is advertised to be. 
L. L. C., another of our agents writes in refer¬ 
ences to tbePeerless Wringer received for prem¬ 
iumwe are well pleased with it, (the wringer) 
and think It Is just what we want in the family. 
Please accept my thanks.” 
Other commendatory letters referring to John 
Ascott’s Daughter, to premiums received and the 
manner of conducting the various departments, 
show the appreciation of our readers. 
--— 
AN OLD SONG. 
I have just read, in this month's Scribner, an 
article entitled, “Life In France,” and Jt la grati¬ 
fying to know that there Is one place under the 
sun where housekeeping Is made easy, and where 
the frail wife and mother does not keep up a per¬ 
petual moan over the aggravating Incompetency 
of servants. Truly, the American housekeeper of 
moderate means and poor health Is an object of 
pity I If she has the least ambition to make her 
home and table Inviting, she must keep ner eyes 
open, her nerves Btrung to their highest tension 
and her mind Incessantly busy in order that things 
may “ come up ah right." 
In this sketch of Florence the writer remarks: 
“ the extent of your housekeeping is to look over 
the cook's accounts once a week and pay him. You 
are never obliged to order your dinner, or, in fact, 
to give It any thought. The utmost labor you 
will undergo Is the eating of it when cooked.” 
How like magic this appears to our wearied 
senses. 
How delightful to pay a reasonable price for a 
cook who will buy the food and then transform It 
into a good meal without the superintendence ot 
the mistress. How smoothly the wbeelB run, xor 
If there is “ a screw loose ” in the kitchen, the 
whole domestic machinery becomes a whirling 
mass of contusion. 
No fear, in Florence, of an overworked mother 
being awakened from her refreshing morning nap 
by cook’s voice, exclaiming: ** The eggs Is ail give 
out, ma’am,"but there In tfiat blest abode of re¬ 
liable cooks, the housekeeper rests on her oars 
and glides over such small (?) difficulties with 
light heart and unruffled temper. 
Do not think I am a clironlc grumbler, indeed. 
I’ve but lately joined the ranks against the pres¬ 
ent “ help system." I am a Southern woman and 
cannot, of course, understand the system of help 
In the North, but of this l am sure, It cannot be 
worse than with us. I have seen white servants 
in Canada whom I considered treasures. 
1 have oiten wished that girls who are without 
homes and who are willing to work in families 
would come South; but then, I presume, there Is 
sufficient demand for them a* home. 
We have become desperate In this part of the 
country, as the summer advances the colored 
folks become Indolent and “ feel like taking a rest," 
as they express It, aud when once inis feeling 
taxes possession of them they cannot be hired for 
love or money. 
Now when one Is strong and can, In the lan¬ 
guage of Josiah Allen’s wire, put ones “ shoulder 
blades to the wheel,” these trials can be easily 
overcome, but for a feeble housekeeper the pros¬ 
pect la anything but cheerful. 
The idea of cooking schools, which is in success- 
ul operation North, Is one which should win the 
best wishes or every woman, and If the South 
would follow this worthy example she would con¬ 
fer a great benefit on her many tired wives and 
daughters. 
Right here, let me remark, that I think there are 
more homes In the United States made miserable 
by our inferior system of help than by any lass 
sustained at the ballot-box, and while 1 watch 
with curiosity the movements of the Woman’s 
Suffrage Committee, I say God speed such women 
as Julia Coreon. m. p. 
Bradley Co., Tenn. 
--- 
WORLDLY MATTERS FOR GIRLS. 
I am conscious that In writing these articles I 
am opposing all the deep-seated prejudices of our 
grandmothers, but •* girls will be girls,” aud a 
love of admiration is part of the girl. 
Probably there is no beauty so much admired In 
a young lady as a delicate complexion; therefore 
her complexion Is either her pride or her sorro v, 
and to those to whom It Is a sorrow, I would like to 
give some hints. 
If you use powder (and most young ladles do 
now) a very slight application of glycerine first 
will cause the powder to adhere better and prevent 
injury to the skin, provided It Is washed off before 
retiring; for a more lasting Improvement a quilted 
cotton mask wet In soft water and worn at night, 
will be found beneficial; this recipe was found in 
a magazine and I made one for myself, and, after 
a trial, found that It really prevented the effects 
ot sunburn, besides eradicating those little pests 
familiarly known as “blackheads;” the mask is 
not so uncomfortable as one would suppose, after 
you get used tolt. 
Never, if It can be prevented, use hard water in 
washing, it makes the skin hard aud rough. I 
would also recommend the disuse or soap on the 
face and neck; a copious use of soft water is quite 
as cleansing and docs not cause the face to shine. 
Nothing is so distorting to tho mouth as fever 
blisters and although 1 know of nothingto prevent 
them, I have found that spirits of camphor will 
allay the swelling and cause them to heal quickly; 
it should be applied as soon as the blister appears, 
and kept wet until the swelling oeaseB. 
As to pimples, a good, nealthy diet and plenty of 
exercise Is u bout all that can be recommended. 
Young ladles who work in the garden know 
what a bother It Is to pull on and off a pair of 
gloves, and they get so soiled In a short time as to 
be unfit for use. Much more serviceable will be 
found a pair of old stockings with the feet cut off 
and a place partitioned off for the thumb; they 
will protect the arms as well as the hands, and 
can be washed when dirty, in the next article I 
will give some practical suggestions about the 
balr. Miss M. D. 
Michigan. 
- ■ ♦-»» 
NEEDLEWORK. 
I no declare! how the old fashions all come 
round again 1 Now here is tho beautiful Kensing¬ 
ton stitch, that everybody Is admiring-just as 
true as 1 am alive. It Is Just the very satin stitch, 
that my grandmother learned to work when she 
was a little girl, and lived In England. She had a 
great piece of satin embroidery, lramed In a gilt 
trame, and it hung In mother’s parlor, ever so many 
years ago. 
It was Pharoh's daughter finding Moses In the 
bulrushes. Bhe was a year embroidering It, and 
It was a wonderful piece of work. Now, this 
Kensington stitch, as the new name tor It Is called, 
Is Just the same thing that we all learned when 
we were little girls. I worked the bottom of the 
skirt to a white dress In crewels, In just that 
stitch; and we made handsome window curtains, 
and table spreads. 
I am real glad It Is fashionable again, for one 
can do bo many nice things with it; i do believe I 
should like to work a white bed spread to give to 
my grand-daughters, as a keepsake for remem¬ 
brance In years to come. 
I like the Idea of working things to make one’s 
home look pleasant and bright; It is ever so much 
better than to spend one’s time wholly upon dress 
and gewgaws to adorn the person, as like as not, 
the time may come when people will think more 
of things that are userul, than those that are en¬ 
tirely for show and ornament. 
Needlework Is a nice accomplishment, and every 
girl ougnt to understand it, In all its forms. ir 
the good old fashions come round again, and people 
will follow them, hard times will be easier, and 
there will not be so many failures in business, and 
losses of property, and discouraged men, and sut¬ 
uring famines. 
Idleness and extravagance will ruin any nation; 
while industry and economy will keep up pros¬ 
perity and peace. 
Yes, I believe I will work a bed spread, and 
leave It as an heirloom In my family, so that my 
posterity can see their ancestor’s skill and Indus¬ 
try. Grandmother. 
--- 
Among the ancient Poles the bride walked three 
times round a fire, then sat down and washed her 
feet. The custom ot washing the bridegroom’s 
feet is more frequently referred to. The daughter 
of a Brahmin la dressed by her father in a festive 
dress, and washes the bridegroom’s feet, the bride’s 
mother pouring out the water for that purpose. 
In Malabar the bridegroom’s reet are washed with 
milk by a young relation. In some parts of Java 
the bride, as a sign of her subjection, kneels and 
washes the feet of the bridegroom when he enters 
the house. 
-♦♦♦- 
Husbands, who by their own voluntary acts de¬ 
prive their wives of every social bond except that 
of motherhood, need not hold up their hands In 
holy horror against the consequences that result 
from their own conduct, if a woman occasionally 
seeks occupation in the frivolities of fashion from 
C ho hideous solitude of her own deserted home, 
where she Is left to drag out a torpid existence 
amid stewpans and scrubbing-brushes, should she 
be justly placed in the pillory of public criticism ? 
In Justice, all cases have at least two sides. 
■-♦ ♦ ♦- 
One of the strategic hits of the Empress Eu¬ 
genie is thus reported: Having a Spanish rela¬ 
tive hanging upon the matrimonial market, the 
Empress stationed the girl one day In the garden 
of St. Cloud with a rose In her hand. As the 
Marshal, afterwards Duke de Malakoff, strolled 
by, the maiden, according to her instructions, pre¬ 
sented the rose to the hero, saying: “Monsieur 
le Marechal, I would offor you laurels, but you 
have plucked them all. will you be content with 
this rose?” The gratified soldier took the flower, 
gallantly kissed the hand that offered ir, and 
shortly after surrendered to the lady’s charms, 
and Bhe became his wife. 
-«-— 
Agriculture for Girls.— France has agricul¬ 
tural schools for girls. One of the chief Is near 
Rouen, which is said to have begun with a capital 
of one franc by a sister of charity and two little 
discharged prisoner girls, aud to be now worth 
$1.0,000. This establishment has 300 girls from 
eight to is. The farm, entirely cultivated by them, 
is over too acres In extent. The staff of teachers 
consists of 25 sisters. More than one medal ot the 
French Agricultural society has been awarded to 
this establishment at Darnetel. and the pupils are 
In great demand all over Normandy on account of 
their skill. They go out as stewards, gardeners, 
farm managers, dairy women and laundresses. 
Each girl has, on leaving, an outfit and a small 
sum of money, earned In spare hours. If they 
want a home they can always return to Darnetel. 
HINTS. 
Energy will do anything that can be done In the 
world; and no talents, no circumstances, no op¬ 
portunities, will make a man without It. 
Tea leaves used for keeping down the dust when 
sweeping carpets are apt to stain light colors; salt 
Is the best in the winter and new mown hay in 
summer. 
Straw matting may be cleaned with a large 
coarse cloth dipped In salt aDd water and then 
wiped dry. The salt prevents the straw from 
turning yellow. 
Like being short, and the quiet hours of it few 
we ought to waste none of them in reading value¬ 
less books; and valuable books should In a civil¬ 
ized country be within the reach of every one.— 
HuHcln. 
For soft corns dip a piece of linen cloth In tur¬ 
pentine aud wrap It around the toe oh which the 
corn is slugged night and morning. The relief 
will be Immediate and arter a few days the corn 
will disappear. 
The aim of education should be to teach us how 
to think, rather than what to think ; rather to 
improve our minds, so as to enable us to think for 
ourselves, than to load the memory with the 
thoughts or other men. 
Lip salves. One gill sweet-oil. one ounce white 
wax, three-quarters of an ounce spermaceti. Dis¬ 
solve them over the fire and stir till cool. Another: 
oil of sweet almonds, eight ounces; white wax 
three ounces; spermaceti, three ounces; rhodium, 
fifty drops, and white sugar candy form an excel¬ 
lent Up salve. 
A book.— Except a living man, there is nothing 
more wonderful than a book; a message to us 
Horn the dead —from human souls wo never 
saw, who lived, perhaps, thousands of miles 
away. And yet these, in those little sheets of 
paper, speak to us, arouse us, terrify us, teach 
us, open their hearts to us as brothers. 
“Is rr RightH o long as any person serious¬ 
ly asks this question of himself, in regard to all 
IBs acts, the danger ot any great departure from 
tho path of rectitude must be small; awl we wish 
that a system of education might make it as com¬ 
mon and controlling among our people in after 
years as now appears to be In youth. 
White lurs or ermine may be cleaned as follows. 
Lay the furs on a table and rub them well with 
bran made moist with warm water; rub until 
quite dry and afterwards with dry bran. The wet 
bran should be put on with flannel and the dry 
with a piece of book muslin. The light furs in ad¬ 
dition to the above, should be well rubbed with 
magnesia or a piece of book muslin alter the bran 
process. Dry flour may be used Instead of wet 
bran. They should be rubbed agalust the way of 
the rur. 
Washing Colored House Linen. To wash towels 
with colored borders let them soak lu a pailful of 
cold water containing one teaspoonful of sugar of 
lead; let them remain ten imnules berore wash¬ 
ing; to make the colors look clear and bright, 
use pulverized borax in wash water, very little 
soap and no soda. To wash red table linen, use 
tepid water, with a little powdered borax, which 
serves to set the color; wash the linen separately 
and quickly, using very little soup; rinse In tepid 
water, containing a 111Ue boiled starch; hang to 
dry In the shade, aud iron when almost dry. 
Introductions.- In a few respects, perhaps, 
1 » good-breeding more manliest than In tno mat¬ 
ter of Introducing persons to one another, having 
regard more especially to the method of making, 
aud the time chosen for the Introduction; nor is 
there a point of etiquette ot greater importance. 
Not only Is an unstudied ease of manner requis¬ 
ite, but also the exercise of a considerable degree 
of laet and discretion; for whether the Introduc¬ 
tion Is personal or by letter, ceremonious or off¬ 
hand, a certain amount of responsibility rests up¬ 
on the Introducer, aud this responsibility should 
not be Incurred without some consideration. 
Under no circumstances, then, should introduc¬ 
tions be made indiscriminately. Indeed, some 
books have laid down me rule that one should 
always ascertain beiorehand whether it would 
i 
srtt 
