JULY 24 
knew something of music, early one morning 
made the following undeniable and significant 
addition: •• Isa flat 1” 
There was a yomwrman in St. Joe. 
Who was a perfect oracle, you know, 
They yuve him no rest, 
So he done the next best, 
(Bin gi rated out west) 
And now be baB learned to go slow. 
That man Is indeed “ hard up” who cannot get 
credit for even good Intentions. 
A DIFFICULT CONUNDRUM. 
“ Do you know, my dear Herr Guldenstern, that 
there Is something very mysterious about you ? 
We have been acquainted with oue another for 
twenty-five years, at least, and I have not been 
able to solve the mysteiy yet.” 
“ What may that be?” 
“ My dear Guldenstern, I should like to know 
who wears your clean shirts 7”—German Paper, 
The fanner feeds the bleating u u, 
The sailor sails the c o. 
The gardner plants the p p, ho does, 
The priuter takes hiu e e, 
The sinner wiped Ids weeping i i. 
The farmer swarms Ills b b. 
The printer daily sets hiB m m, 
The teamster yells hi6 g g, 
The lawyer gathers his v v, 
When he has tried his k k, 
The slier! ft'V ever on the o c, 
The gambler risks hiB a a. 
At a camp-meeting last summer a venerable 
sister began the hymn; 
My soul be on thy guard; 
Ten thousand foes arise. 
She began too high. “ Ten thousand,” she 
screeched, and Btopped. “ Start her at five thou¬ 
sand 1” cried a converted stook-broker present. 
MISS KATE. 
Miss Kate’s a member of the choir, 
But ol’teu comes in late, 
And in the chorus sings so loud 
That she’s called coruscate. 
—Keokuk Gate City. 
Not true—Kate’s voice is mild and low, 
Enchanting as a 1 y re: 
And if of It the truth you’d know, 
To church go and in choir. 
—Cincinnati Saturday Night. 
Pat says, ” Be Jaber’s ! ye are right; 
’Tls true vhwat ye hev Bald; 
Misa-KatcoB singing ivory night 
I hears about ino head.” 
ANOTHER CHAPTER OF THE BONNET STORY. 
A wretch of a husband told his devoted wife 
that he didn’t see any use *1 her paying thirty 
dollars lor a bonnet when all she had to do was to 
take her little fancy-work basket, turn it upside 
down, run some gilt braid through the holes and 
perch a scarlet poppy and a yellow sunflower on 
one side. She had her revenge—he didn’t dare to 
show his face at home for several days.—Andrew’s 
Bazar. 
GEOGRAPHICAL. 
“ Now,” in a Chili tone she said, 
“ I will be Frank; ’tis true. 
Although you Arab brilliant catch, 
I do not Cadre you.” 
“ O, lady, Done to hear my suit— 
This heart is Scot by thee." 
“ Nay sir. I cannot heed your words 
For you Arnaut to me.” 
“ ’Tls Welsh," she added, freezingly, 
“ Since Siam pressed so far, 
To Hindoo you no longer here: 
And so, good six, Tartar.” 
“ What Ottoman like me to do 7" 
Bewailed the stricken man; 
“ I’ll Finnish up my mad career, 
And wed tbo Galicau.” 
There was an embarrassed young man at Bow¬ 
ling Green, Ky.,wno escorted tne preacher’s fair 
daughter to church on Sunday night and arrived 
late to hear the reverend gentleman read from the 
Bible as the couple inarched up the aisle: "My 
daughter Is grevlously tormented with a devil,” 
which verse occurs In an account of a New Testa¬ 
ment miracle. The congregation smiled, and it 
would he hard to tell which felt worse, the 
preacher, his daughter, or her escort.—Atlantic 
constitution. 
DISAPPOINTMENT. 
The time I’ve lost in wooing. 
In watching and pursuing. 
The light that lies 
In woman’s eyes 
Has been my heart’s undoing; 
Though wisdom oit hath Bought me, 
1 scorned the love she brought me, 
My only books 
Were woman's looks 
And folly is all they’ve taught me. 
—Moore, 
The- reason for my sighing, 
My groaning and my crying 7 
My love has wilted 
And I am jilted; 
For a fellow with a mustache, 
Who came from old Kentucky 
With the name of being lucky; 
He’s took my girl. 
Powder, paint and curl. 
And I'll suicide if I’m plucky. 
A clergyman’s wife had impressed upon her 
little boy the necessity of ejecting the skins of 
grapes, and a few days afterward she told mm the 
story of Jonah and the whale. “ The whale Is a 
very large monster,” said the mother, " and he 
swallowed Jonah.” Did he swallow other men, 
too 7” asked the little boy. “ Well, 1 suppose he 
did,” continued the mother, who was somewhat 
m doubt; and while Bhe was hesitating about the 
continuation of the story, the hoy interrupted, 
“ And, mamma, did he spit the skins out too 7” 
THE BUBAL WEW-YOBKER. 
ifeu ddTomrn. 
CONDUCTED BY MISS BAY CLARK. 
THE BABY’S PICTURE. 
" We must carry our beautiful baby to town 
Some day when the weather is fair," we said; 
We must dress him up in hiB prettiest gown, 
And wave bin hair on the top of his head; 
For all hie cousIkb and all hiH aunts. 
And both his grandmothers, proud and doar, 
Declare it is ehamef ill, and every’ way blameful, 
To have had no picture of him this year.” 
He was three months old when we took him boforo, 
And he lay like a lamb on his mamma's lap; 
And the darling now has a twelve month more 
Of bewildoring graces from sock to cap. 
Just look at his dear, little laughing face ! 
At the rose-bud mouth, at the violet eyes! 
Why, the photograph-taker, that vanity-shaker, 
Will think this time we have brought him a prize ! 
We carried our child to the town oue day. 
The skies were soft aud the air was coo], 
We robed him richly in lino array— 
Ribbons and laces, and Swiss and tulle. 
He looked like a prince in the artist’s chair. 
Hitting erect, aud brave, and grand, 
With his big red apple ho searco could grapple, 
Held close In the palm of his dimpled hand. 
" He ib taking it now.” We held our breath! 
We furtively peeped from behind the screen ! 
" What a pouo 7” wo whispered, then, still as death, 
Waited—aud baby wan all serene 
Till the critical moment, when, behold. 
The sun was catching that lovely look. 
Such a terrible roar. It shook the floor 1 
And that was the picture the swift sun took. 
A wrinkled face aud close shut eyes, 
And a mouth that’s opened so very wide, 
That our dear little sister, slbyl-wise. 
Declares she can see the cry inside. 
Aunts and cousins and grandmothers dear, 
Haven’t got over their anger yet: 
But wo thought it was funny, and paid our money 
For that strange phase of our precious pet. 
Ah I children older than baby, think, 
Dear little children blithe aud 6weet, 
With your curls of gold, and your cheeks of pink. 
And your naughty tempers, sudden and fleet— 
What an awful thing it would be for you 
If au artist should happen along some day, 
And observing the pouting, the frown or the flouting 
Should take a picture of you, that way ! 
[Christian Guardian. 
-V-M- 
REDEEMING THE TIME. 
Tkach yourself, and your daughter after you, to 
perform all household duties with as great dis¬ 
patch as consists with perfect thoroughness. Do 
not give needless time to any pleoc of work. 
Never wash and scrub and rub after all dirt Is 
removed rrom clothes and wood-work, just "to 
be certain that they are clean.” When you know 
that fact, be satisfied. 
There are some women so extra thorough that 
it becomes (like any virtue taken to excess), a 
positive vice. 
Mrs. K. used to scrub so unceasingly about her 
kitchen and sheds and steps that they were al- 
w r ays in the uncomfortable process or drying, 
always damp and unwholesome, never w’hlte and 
sunny and neat.. 
Learn to stop when you are through. 
Very elaborate work of any kind Is not to great 
profit, especially in the matter of table fare. 
When one reads the dlilicult details of some won¬ 
derful article for dessert, wnich takes hours of 
skilled labor In the hot kitchen to make it; we 
wonder at the patience which holds out through 
It all, but bighs "to what purpose was this 
waste.” Not waste of money, for that la trifling 
compared to the great waste of woman’s life 
power which was given to tier tor so much nobler 
purposes. 
My neighbor. Rev. Antoinette Brown Blackwell, 
well characterizes the sewing machine and cook¬ 
ing stove, as “ the modern Moloch to which so 
many American women are yearly sacrificed.” 
A greater simplicity In the preparation of our 
food would save a lull day ou r, of every week to 
many a house-mother, and save many dear ones 
rrom the rack of dyspepsia In later years. 
"Notone of mother s children,” said a lady m 
middle life to me one day, “ but has suffered 
agonies from dyspepsia; all the result of mother’s 
splendid cooking." 
With proper dispatch an ample, wholesome and 
delicious pudding can be made In live minutes and 
set In the oven to “cook itself,” while an Indi¬ 
gestible pie takes a great deal more time and 
wearying labor, and la not so satisfactory to a 
hungry person’s appetite. 
Young household members can be trained up 
just as you please in this respect, but It Is hard to 
change the customs of those who are "Joined to 
their Idols.” A hint may be found in this truth 
for young housekeepers Just beginning to form 
habits for the house. 
A wise simplicity in all your doings is for the 
advantage of all parties, it gives time for rest 
and tor self Improvement, and for the exercise of 
neighborly kindness and charity, and greatly 
conduces to the health of a family. 
Plain fruits and vegetables prepared In a most 
excellent but simple manner, with suitable va¬ 
riety on succeeding days, are dishes " fit to set 
before the king.” Mrs. J. E. McC. 
WOMAN'S WORK CONSIDERED. 
I belong to the much-maligned army of spin¬ 
sters, but am a reader of the Rural, and would 
like a place among the Rural Sisters. 
These ladle3need stimulating to a more vigorous 
use of their pens. 
Few are so inexperienced as not to be able to add 
something to the general information as to the 
best, easiest, aud most expeditious way of getting 
through housework. 
When all Is known, and housework made easy, 
It Is no flowery road to travel, as some of us are 
ready to declare with emphasis. 
But what most vexes my righteous soul is the 
want of appreciation among men of woman’s 
work. The farmer, as a general thing, thinks that 
he works hard, but considers It a mere matter or 
moonshine to " run ” a house of six or a dozen 
Inmates. Oh! when I see what a plentiful lack of 
consideration and affectionate goodness many of 
these dear husbands extend to tired wives and 
mothers, I rejoice and am exceeding glad to have 
escaped the matrimonial harness. 
Who seconds the motion that some married sis¬ 
ter. who knows how, will give these hUBbands a 
“drawlDg over the coals?” 
Having no settled abiding place, I have “ stayed 
around,” and had a few peeps "behind the 
scenes.” Over-work Is the bane of the average 
farmer’s wife—want Of recreation. 
I have seen the Inhumanity of some men to 
their wives—wives not over-strong too. I have 
seen a “ house-band " with the digestion of an 
ostrich and strong as a horse snore abed mornings, 
while the mother who had not even rested the 
ache out of her body struggles unaided with the 
breakfast and the last baby. 
On Sunday he passes along piously to church 
and listens from a front pew. 
The wile Is chief cook, chief nurse, chief every, 
thing, if there is a trifling culinary blunder, his 
reproaches seem to come easily. If the biscuit has 
not enough soda he Is in a towering rage, and 
looks black if the meal is late or early. 
Physicians tell us that women grow weaker 
physically, but most of my acquaintances are 
creatures of remarkable endurance. Many a wan, 
In their shoes, would succumb body and brain. 
Men have machinery to lighten their labor, but 
nothing has been invented yet to shorten the 
process of baking bread and pies In the country, 
or of resting arms aching and tired from an ailing, 
teething baby. 
What wonder that a woman who has only been 
housekeeper and mother a few years looks like 
the parent of the fresh and rosy girl Bhe was on 
the wedding-day 1 
All men cannot be managed In the same way. 
In some extreme cases It la proper to wipe weep¬ 
ing eyes, show fight and assert woman’B rights, 
one of which is the privilege of resting when tired 
nature needs It. 
Some women are working themselves under the 
coffln-lld and do not know it. The husband ought 
to see that there is sufficient help in the kitchen, 
or put his own hand to the roiling pin, and let her 
see that she has something strong and true to lean 
upon. 
If ever l marry won’t I manage my husband? 
He’ll not be spoiled by being waited upon either. 
He shall hang his own hat and pull his own boots, 
and black them, too. I shall take time to read, 
rest, visit, and also to bestow some labor upon my 
outward adorning, and he shall "hold the baby 
while I’m getting tea.” Miss Irene. 
Fairfax Co., Va. 
OPPOSITION. 
Permit me to say a few words In reply to Miss 
M. D.’s "Worldly matters for girls”; /most cer¬ 
tainly do oppose somethings In her article of July 
3rd and not from " the deep-seated prejudices of 
our grandmothers, but Irorn my own experience 
and observation. 
Yes, it. is true that most young ladles use face- 
powaer now, and to the great Injury of the com¬ 
plexion they are trying to Improve. 
The first essential of a good, healthy, blooming 
complexion, Is to have ah the pores of the skin 
open, and this cannot be had If those minute open¬ 
ings are stopped up with glycerine and powder, or 
powder alone. 
My experience and observation has taught me 
that powders or washes will Invariably brown the 
skin. Some powders will do so In a short time, 
while others 1 have known to be used a year or 
more and then the skin suddenly become brown 
or dingy. There la no remedy for It then. 
My advice to a young lady who has a good com¬ 
plexion, 1h never to put anything on her lace that 
will stop up the pores of the skin. 
To one who has a poor complexion, I would 
say—don’t make It worse by stopping up the pores. 
It Is just as necessary to have the pores of the 
skin open as It is to have the lungs Tree from tu¬ 
bercles and In a normal condition. 
A good hygienic diet. Is the best and surest reme¬ 
dy for pimples and blackheads, but It la not every 
one w ho can obtain that, alihougU tbe less butter, 
sugar, cake, etc., that Is eaten, tbe better It Is for 
a person. Tbe next bear thing is to wash the 
lace once a day with quite warm water aud soap. 
Let the soap be of a good quality, and rub It well 
into the skin with a cloth or sponge, and then 
rinse It off thoroughly. 
Bathe the face on getting up in the morning 
and before retiring at night, with either cool or 
warm water, though warm water Is best at all 
times for a pimpled tace, yet its use once a day is 
sufficient. 
Of all the recipes I have tried this one Is the 
best. The soap, i think, cleanses the pores or im¬ 
purities, and the water seems to have a soothing, 
healing effect. 
» Decidedly cold water (my experience and obser¬ 
vation teach me) Is very Injurious to a pimpled 
lace. Mrs. W. V. A. 
N. Y. 
-♦ - 
ABOUT WOMEN. 
Jenny Lind was recently congratulated by a 
lady upon the remarkable effect produced upon 
the public by the charm .1 of her youthful voice. 
The great singer assumeo a look of earnest exci¬ 
tation as she uttered from a lull heart: “It was 
because my voice came from God, and I sang to 
God.” 
Miss Beckwith recently performed the extraor¬ 
dinary feat of swimming for thirty consecutive 
hoars In the whale tank of the Royal Aquarium, 
at Westminster, London. She was clad In a cos¬ 
tume of black silk, trimmed with crimson, and 
displayed great agility In swimming and waltzing 
In the water. 
The rigid housekeeper, who rigorously compels 
everybody into obedience to fixed rules and laws, 
assures thereby her own ease, while a more gen¬ 
ially benevolent, woman shrinks with native gen¬ 
erosity from constraining others to submit to that 
orderly arrangement which will directly result to 
her Individual convenience. 
As the daughter of a banker of Buffalo was 
walking along the street of that city, a handsome¬ 
ly dressed gentleman grasped the velvet purse 
that she held In her hand. The lady maintained 
her hold, the clasp flew open, the coin and notes 
fell scattered upon the sidewalk, and the “ gentle¬ 
man ” departed rapidly, Phis Is the second tune 
that the lady has had an encounter of the kind. 
One might, he allowed to wonder why she contin¬ 
ues to carry so conspicuous a purse In so conspic¬ 
uous a manner. 
Queen Victoria rises at seven both in winter 
and In summer. The occupations of each hour of 
the day are arranged with a due appreciation of 
the value of time ; hence she Is able to undertake 
the heavy task of reading over all papers find 
documents submitted for her signature, which she 
never appends without careful perusal of each, 
beside which she personally enters Into a wide 
correspondence, and, In addition to the hours de¬ 
voted to official duties and to the hours given to 
walking, driving, paying and receiving visits, a 
portion of each day is set apart for reading of a 
varied character. 
Probably the prettiest pair Of hands that ever 
were seen were granted by fate to a Philadelphia 
Quakeress. This quiet little Friend "spoke in 
meetlDg,” and cynical observers would wonder- 
lngly remark that she frequently drew off the 
coarse cotton gloves, which poverty compelled 
without considering that the rough texture was 
displeasing to the touch of the dainty fingers. An 
111 turn from fortune’s wheel made her husband a 
hardworking farmer, and the pretty hands most 
willingly and deftly dug the garden and scoured 
the pots, still looking like those of Queen Joanna 
of Naples, “ that were only intended to be kissed.” 
Ever Intent on good deeds the gentle Quakeress, 
in a benignant old age, ministered, with her deli¬ 
cate soft touches In works of noblest charity to 
the criminals condemned by law to linger out their 
years within prison walls. 
A legal decision was recently rendered In New 
York, on application of Mrs. Anals Haaae, direct¬ 
ing the authorities of the German Hospital to 
amend the certificate of the death of her husband 
Charles Haase, who had died a few weeks previous 
In that inst itution under the name of Hector Car¬ 
los. The deceased flourished in New York for 
about fifteen years as the Baron de Malncy, mov¬ 
ing in society as a gentleman of rank and ele¬ 
gance, and a successful teacher of the French 
language. It Is now shown that he was a Prussian 
by brtth, and was a hairdresser In Paris, where he 
was married In 186C. in 1862 he deserted his wife 
and two children, and established himself as a 
teacher of languages in London, under the name 
of H. Charles. Becoming more ambitious he next 
assumed the finer cognomen of H. c. d’Armetde 
Fouger, and under this name married a lady, 
whose money he obt ained, and then absconded to 
New York; rising upon the new horizon as the 
Baron de Malncy. Meanwhile, the wife whom he 
had deserted In Parts nearly ten years before had 
reached New York also, and was supporting her¬ 
self as a seamstress. Bhe recognized her husband, 
but made no claim upon him, and removed to 
Baltimore, where she has continued her labors to 
this time. A few months ago a legacy was left, her 
In France, and she found herself compelled to re¬ 
fer to her husband In compliance with legal forms. 
His death under a false name presented an appar¬ 
ently Insurmountable obstacle. But It has been 
removed by the late decision, which Indorses this 
just sentiment: “It should not be tolerated that 
after death the wrong which the husband Inflicted 
upon his wife during Ills should be continued.” 
HINTS. 
Glass should be washed In cold water, which 
gives It a brighter and cleaner look than when 
cleansed with warm water, 
“Never put a particle of soap about your silver¬ 
ware,” says the proprietor of an old silver estab¬ 
lishment " If you would have It retain its original 
lustre. When It wants polish take a piece of 
soil leather and whiting and rub hard.” 
To clean brushes and sponges use spirits or am¬ 
monia and hot water. Waan them well and shake 
the water out, drylug on a coarse towel with the 
bristles downward. Little or no soap Is needed. 
Make Your Own Barometer, a sheet of paper 
dipped In chloride or cobalt, when the weathtr Is 
to be dry and pleasant, will become blue. When 
wet weather approaches it will become pink. 
The barometer flowers of France are thus manu¬ 
factured. 
Always cut your fiowerB with a sharp knife or 
scissors, and early In the morning or evening. 
Keep them well sprinkled; If possible add fresh 
water, and put tu a little salt. Set the bouquet 
at night on the floor of a cool room or cellar. 
A tkabfoonfui, or more of powdered borax 
thrown Into the bath tub while bathing will com¬ 
municate a velvety softness to the water and at 
the same time Invigorate and rest the bather. 
Persons troubled with nervousness or wakeful 
ulghts will find this kind of a bath a great bene¬ 
fit. 
It Is a good plan to put new earthenware Into 
cold water and let in heat gradually until It bolls; 
then cool again. Brown earthenware In particu¬ 
lar may be toughened in this way. A handful of 
rye or wheat bran thrown In while It Is boning 
will preserve the glazing so that It will not be de¬ 
stroyed by acid or salt. 
