546 
stablishecl 1848 
HRE 
VIBRat 
hresHEK 1 wi 
A drink for the sick—well water. 
A cruel husband calls his wife “green 
fruit,” because she never agrees with him. 
It will take a pretty heavy frost to kill this 
speech crop that is coming on now.—Corry 
Press. 
“How sad!” exclaimed one blade of a pair 
of scissors to the other; “ how sad! We only 
meet to sever !” 
You never saw my hands as dirty as that,” 
said a petulant mother to her little girl. “ No, 
but your ma did,” was the reply. 
The compositor who set up “pimpled 
chops” for “dimpled cheeks” didn’t look a 
bit natural in death.—Modern Argo. 
“ Can tough fowl be made tender ?" asks a 
housewife. Certainly; in many boarding¬ 
houses the hoarders fiud the landlady tenders 
tough fowl. 
“ Tom,” said a girl to her sweetheart, “ you 
have been paying your distresses to me long 
enough. It is time you made known your con¬ 
tentions, so a6 not to keep me in expense any 
longer.” 
“How came you to fail in your examina¬ 
tion ?” asked the tutor. “I thought I cram¬ 
med you thoroughly.” “Well, you see,” re¬ 
plied the student, “ the fact was you crammed 
me so tight I couldn't get it out.” 
An old Highland clergyman, who had re¬ 
ceived several calls to parishes, aBkcd his ser¬ 
vant where he should go, the servant said: 
11 Go where there is most sin, sir.” The preacher 
concluded that was good advice, and went 
where there was most money. 
“ How do you pronounce s-t-i-n-g-y ?” Pro- 
fesBor Stearns asked the young gentleman 
nearest the foot of the class. And a smart 
bad boy stood up and said it depended a good 
deal whether the word applied to a man or a 
bee. Go to the head yonng fellow. 
A little fellow, turning over the leaves of 
a scrap book, came across the well known pic¬ 
ture of chickens just out of their shells. He 
examined the picture carefully, and then, with 
a grave, sagacious look, slowly remarked, 
“ They came out 'cos they was afraid ot being 
cooked.” 
“Are animals color-blind?” asks a scien¬ 
tific journal. Well, our opinion is, if that 
querist were to put on a red shirt aud under¬ 
take to go across a lot containing a bull, he 
could most satisfactorily answer that question 
without submitting it to the press.—Waterloo 
Observer. 
A droll fellow fished a rich old gentleman out 
of a mill-pond aud refused the offer of twenty- 
five cents from the rescued miser. “Oh, that’s 
too much!” exclaimed he; “ tain’t worth it!” 
and he handed back twenty-oue cents, saying 
calmly, as he pocketed four cents, “that’s 
about right.” 
Going home from church, Bbe remarked to 
her husband : “ Did you notice that bald-head¬ 
ed man in front of us. aud how young he 
looked? I never 6aw any oue so young before 
with a bald head.” Then he 6hut her up by 
replying: “My dear, 1 was bald-headed before 
I was a year old.” 
“Look heah, squire, dars a niggah in Gal¬ 
veston what’s been sassiu’ me; supposing I 
jes maul de life outen him?” The lawyer re¬ 
plied: “ You would be apt to get your neck 
stretched.” “ Now, boss, you is jokin. What 
do white folks care for one niggah moah or 
less now de census is done tuck!" 
A Darkey who was stooping to wash his 
hands in a creek, didn’t notice the peculiar 
actions of a goat just behind him; so, when 
he scrambled out of the water and was asked 
how it happened, he answered: “I dunno 
’zactly; but ’peared as if de shore kinder 
h’isted and frowed me.”—American Punch. 
How beautiful is night! How silently she 
tiptoes across the meadows of yonder peaceful 
vale. I hear, in fancy, the soft rustle of her 
shadowy garments as they trail above the— 
blank, blank, the blankety cats! There they 
go again! When a fellow does feel a little 
touch of sentiment, there's always something 
to startle him back to the stern realities of life. 
—Kokomo Tribune. 
•““•uSSS:— 
Veteran Corn Shelter 
_ FOR HAND OR POWER. 
Just the Thing for Mill, Farm or Plan¬ 
tation, 
Power and Hand Com Shelters of all sizer 
__ and lo suit all wants. 
HORSE POWERS. .JACKS, &o. 
Write for Descriptive Circulars and prices. Ad¬ 
dress SANDWICH MANUF’G CO., 
Mnndwlch, Illinois. 
COX.UIKBIA BICYCLE. 
Bicycle riding- is an accomplish 
FJ^Er meat cosily acquired, and Is rapid- 
'L'Y\ ly becoming the most popular of 
1 // Y! out-door sports; as ahealth restoru- 
live it Is invaluable, bringing into 
action every muscle of the body, 
-'ri/jL, strengthening the lungs, and in- 
vigoralingtho wearied brain. The 
“ DARWI NT AN,” 
Our village grocer (great Floriculturist).—"Most extr'or’nary thing, sir. Last year I had 
some bacon in my shop that went bad duriu' that hot weather, and I buried it in my garden. 
You’ll hardly believe it, but all my Asters this season came up streaky!” 
Here You Have It! 
SWEET CIDER ! SWEET CIDER ! 
PULVERIZING HARROW, 
CLOD CRUSHER AND LEVELER, 
IT IS Til* 
Best Tool io (he World for preparing Land 
for Winter Grain, 
Whether the grain is to its drilled or broadcasted. 
Highly recommended by the editors of this Paper. 
Bee numbers Feb H. page IDS, ami .March 27, page 201. 
g Agents wanted. Send forCirculars. 
NASH BUGS., Hole Manufacturers, 
Hnrrisburir, Pst., mul 22College Plsice, N. Y. 
Newest and Best Varieties, 
IN’CLTTIJIXG 
SHARPLESS 
Grown in Pots and ready for shipment 
after A ug. 1st. New descriptive priced 
catalogue FRiiE. Address 
ELLWANGER & BARRY, 
Rochester, N. Y. 
Pittsburgh. 
POT CROWN 
Send rt-vnp for Cotnlogno. 
Rifles, Shot Ouns, Revolver*, sent c. o. d. for examination 
Brecch-lsiadiug shot Guns, $2u to4800. Double Shot 
Guns, to «lWl. Single (tuns, $3 to $B0. Rifles aud Cart- 
ridges, $S to $75, Revolvers, $1 to $25. Bend stump 
for Price List GREAT WESTERN GUN WORKS, 
Pittsburg. I’a. 
ALSO common ground layers. 
A pamphlet tolling what Varieties to iilaot and how 
to plant them, together with all needed Information, 
rxtaa to all 
d. T. LOVETT, 
Littlo Silver, Monmouth Co., N. I 
A mill that will irriud Hftv to sixty bushels of 
Apples pur hour, comlnnpd will, :i press that will press 
Seventy-live gallons at a pressmg. Do not fail to 
send for our New Illustrated Catalogue oi Cider 
Machinery, manufactured by the 
HIGGANUM M’F’G CORPORATION, 
Iiigtmnuiii. Cl, 11. S. A. 
MamufftcUirers of Agricultural Implements of every 
description. 
Do Your Own 
Printing! 
For Young 
or Old. 
BOOMER &B0SCHERT 
PRESS CO, 
SYRACUSE.N. Y. 
t tel . A,. jjm S3 Prcnn for cnnlH.ortvelops.etc. 
-P/Sr/M 14 other sl7.es, $H, $14, #36, #44, Ac. 
■d’M Type settiDg easy by printed ln- 
... c.S r* l • j® s(.ruction m. Do your own printing 
stul advertising. Money made fast 
" I i n un y place .lobbing or runnings 
paoer. Catalogue of Presses, X) in?, Cards. Ac., for 2 
stamps. Krlney & Co., Jlnn'l’rs, Meriden. Conn 
SEND 
FOR 
Circular 
all styles, Gold. Bilver aud Nickel, $6.00 to 
I$150 Chains, etc., sent C. O. D.,tobe ex- 
amitjod. Writefor Catalogue to Standard 
American Watch Co., Pittsburg, Pa. 
BOOKWALTER ENGINE 
Compact,, luitwtantial, eco¬ 
nomical and easily managed. 
Guaranteed to work well and 
give full power claimed. 
Engine and boiler complete, 
Including- governor, feed- 
ve pulley, etc., etc. 
pump, drivo jiuua,. ....... 
at the low price of 
3 Horse power.... $240 
L “ S Manufactured at Springfield 
■ _ -• Ohio. Bend for Descnptivi 
■ - pamphlet. 
JAMES LEFFEL&CIO., Springfield, 0 
Or, I IO Liberty St., New York City, 
NOR 
WESTERN FERTILIZING CO. 
“ IJIVIOIV STOCK V A It ON, 
OtLlCShgTO, Ill, 
EAT. ACToZpSSIHS^ 
NOTICE TO AGENTS 
Any respectable person ruay become our Agent. 
Postmasters aro requested to act as our Agents. 
A Cush Commission of Twenty-Five Cents will be 
allowed Agents for each yearly subscriber. 
Oue name or a dozen names may bo forwarded at 
any time. Credit is given the Agent for every name 
sent until canceled by Premium. 
Address 
THE KURAL NEW-YORKER, 
34 Park How, IV. Y 
rHIUDElPHIIV 
f SOODO •* 
| TONS.J 
(CHICAGO 
5.25000 j 
[ tons j 
L . M 
fc$S 
'BONE MANURE 
A Kind of Torpor 
Sometimes afflicts the klndneys and bladder which, 
If prompt measures are not taken to oveicome It, 
seriously jeopardizes their health, and often proves 
the forerunner of irremedlal disorders. The diu¬ 
retic properties of Hostetter's Hitters, which stim¬ 
ulate these organs without irritating them, pecu¬ 
liarly qualify It to avert all danger to be appre¬ 
hended from the conditio a described. It. encour¬ 
ages secretions when deficient, and aids the dis¬ 
charging functions by invigorating r.he urinary 
organs. While thestlmuliuiisof commerce exert an 
effect somewhat akin to the Hitlers upon the kid¬ 
neys and bladder, their fiery properties, being 
modified by medicinal Ingredients, have a ten¬ 
dency to unduly excite, but the potent and salu¬ 
tary vegetable extracts wltb which the stimula¬ 
tive property of this medicine is combined, con¬ 
stitute li a safe as well as an effective preparation. 
As a general Invigorative and alterative, also, it 
possesses very great popularity. 
istd' 
•Manufacturers of 
FINEST QUALITY SILVER-PLATED TABLE WARE, 
fMTl Tn~Y7 X7" "nvITion-m — r~»nn-rvw-».-r 
OF EVERY DESCRIPTION. 
Sales Room, 36 East 14th St., Union Square, N. Y. Factory at Wallii 
ISEI1MD FORI IXjEjUSTPL^TED CATAIjOGUE 
ggl 
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