776 
THE RURAL HEW-YORKER. 
ijmuormts. 
When Fogg was asked regarding the latest 
addition to the English language, he said he 
would ask his wife, as she always had the last 
word. 
There is talk in San Francisco of a serious 
movement against the opium joints and re¬ 
spectable people are singing the Te Deum 
Laudanum. 
Mistress (to applicant for cook’s position): 
‘•Why did you leave your last place?” Appli¬ 
cant: “You’revery inquisitive,warm; I didn’t 
ax you what for your last cook left you.” 
“Don’t I look nice?” said she. “I’ve got a 
full plastron.” Have you?” said her lover; 
and then, thinking he must show more inter¬ 
est. said; “Where have you got the plaster 
on?” 
Dick—“H ow old are you?” Joe—“I’m 
goin’ on three.” Dick—“Oh, that ain’t much; 
I’m eight.” Joe—Well, you needn’t be so 
stuck up about it. My urn says lean be eight, 
too, alter she’s married again. 
Never Alonk. —“Bill Jones,” said a bully¬ 
ing urchin to another lad, “next lime I catch 
you alone I’ll flog you like anything ” “Well’ 
replied Bill, “1 ain’t often much alone; I com. 
monly have my legs and lists with me.” 
Solicitor: “Have you ever been to this 
court before, sir?” Witness: “YeB, sir; I have 
been here often.” Solicitor: “Ha, bal been 
INVALIDS AND OTHERS SEEKING 
ff JUHHHKTH'NK of Ml HaH**** Hi* l 
II /T*\ OYW *-\ Huai , we have obtained */' 
7 //* VtWSYlfcWIkV TrlRht In uni M.OW A/ 
I At / Cards and Box I.Bbvll, If li 
I \ a u ‘1 Hath iIro sneured I I 
Z' lb« 001.1 xisl Trxd« Mark. B I 
■k , - • • • A r ffootyf thn r<)AUJA 0 of our U11 
L Trite M»Ht, Ao., tbe !•»* Ml 
ft belt fcn4 t nin w n ran* i n ti>« herrUifortLy 
^ A , ^fe':(VR . 
m 
o 
W 
m 
STRENGTH AND ENERGY WITHOUT THE USE OF 
DRUGS. 
Arc requested to send for TM E EF.Rf'TRIC RE- 
VIEW, an Illti-t-ated Journal). which Is publish¬ 
ed Tor Free Distribution. , _ 
It treats of Hkai.th, HToreisK, and Physical Culture, 
and Is a complete encyclopedia of Information for 
log and painful diseases. Every subject that bears 
oo health and human happiness receives attention lu 
Its paces; and the many questions asked by suffering 
invalid* who have despaired of a cure are answered, 
and valuable inrormntlou Is volunteered to all who 
are fn need of medical advice. 
i OI NG M K> »nd others who suffer from ner¬ 
vous atid physical debility are especially benefited by 
consultltur its content*. 
The Electric Review exposes the unmitigated 
frauds practiced by quacks nnd medical Imposters 
who protess to “practice medicine." and points out 
the only safe, simple and effective road to health. 
vigor and bodily energy._ „ „ 
Address, for free copy, THE KI.E* TR1C RE¬ 
VIEW. I16i Braatfwar. New Vork. 
EMPIRE GRAIN DRILL. 
“BETTER SOAP 
WAM NEVER MADE, 
Nor rt'BBR. not only for shaving, but for all 
toilet purposes, ana I speak thus after years 
i of personal unJ family use.”—G. W. Rice, 
Ed. Am. Christian Review. 
Put up In square and round cakes, also In 
pound bars. Ask your Druggist for It, or 
•cud 8c. stamp for trial sample. 
J. B. WILLIAMS Si CO., 
Gl&atonbury. Conn, 
With Force Feed Fertilizer Attachment. 
,4 I way* reliable! No Sprcrlnl l)*vW required 
for 1*1 ii ntf nir Corn. Stand for Circular, giving full 
information, to EMPIRE I) III LL < O.. „ 
Bo* II. silt art hv llle. N. Y. 
THE GIBBS PATENT “IMFEFtlAL.” 
here often, have you? Now, tell the court 
what for.” Witness (slowly): “Well, I have 
been hero ut least half a dozen tin.es to try 
and get that money from you that you owe 
me!” 
Mrs. Brown’s pretty waitress got married 
the other day. “And I hear you are going to 
Australia with your husband, Kitty,” said her 
mistress. “Are you not afraid of such a long, 
dangerous voyage?”—“Well, ma’m, 1 ' said 
Kitty,” “that is his look out. I belong to him 
now, an’ if anything happens to me, sure it’ll 
be bis loss and not mine.” 
An Irish girl who had applied for a position 
in which she was required to do general 
housework, was asked hy the mistress If she 
ever made fires. “Shura, that s a strange 
question fora married woman to be axin’me,” 
responded Bridget. “Begorra, mum, 1 never 
did make fires, but I’ve no objection to be 
afther i V liin’ yer husband." 
A party of Texan wagoners, after a bard 
day’s pull, vere chatting around the camp lire 
v,i they smoked their pipes. “Sambo, me 
I l,i ! timed Pat, a rolicking Irishman, 
to a jolt, darky, “tell us what makes 
your nose so flat,” “Dun’uo, Mars’ Pat,’ 
am, "but l ’spec It’s to keep 
me from pokin’ luto udder people’s business. 
PijKrtlanWttU Advertising. 
DON’T BK ALARMED 
at Bright’s Dlseus-c, Diabetes, or any disease of the 
kidneys, or liver, as Hop Bitters will certainly and 
lastingly c ure you. and It is the only thing ' bat will. 
Skill is tuk Workshop To do good work • he me 
ehaute must have gooti health If long hours of con 
flnemetil in close rooms have enfeebled his baud or 
dimmed bis 'iglil, let litm al once, nnd before some 
organic trouble appears, tike Plenty of Hop Bitters. 
Hi* system will lie rejuvenated, his nerve* strength 
ened, his Klglo become clear, and the whole constitu¬ 
tion be bunt up to a higher working condition. 
LINSEED MEAL. 
ABSOLUTELY THE BEST FEED FOR 
Cattle, Horses, Calves, Sheep and Hogs. 
This Meal i» the product or pure sound Flaxseed, 
Linseed belug Its O her name. 
The reason why Linseed Meul Is the most nutrit 
lulls of »U food* 1* because It contains the largest pro¬ 
portion of nitrogenous ubstance: 
The effects of Nitrogenous poods, such as Linseed 
may be briefly summed up as follows: 
L Fed with straw or Other coarse fodder they ac¬ 
quire u value as food not attuluabl(*ln aby other w ay. 
‘J. They add a great value to the dairy. 
8. They lay on tlesh anil fat rapidly. 
l They promote a healthy activity in all the organs, 
f,. They Increase he fertility of the soli by cnrlch- 
lug the manure of animals fed with them. 
!». They prevent disease by keeping t he organs In a 
healtny condition Linseed Meul has been frequently 
used in Hog Cholera, and ha* never failed to prevent 
Its spread. 
It Is almost needles*to say. that In order to derive 
much benefit from the use of Linseed Meal It must be 
fed lti quantity. At least one half of nil an anlui U 
consumes may safely uud profitably be Linseed 
Meal. . . . , 
r^PIcasc send In a “ample order or for circular 
and prices Orders will be promptly tilled by any one 
of the following parties: 
Cleveland Mnsc-d Oil t’o-, Cleveland. Oli'p. 
Toledo • in see >t Oil Co.. Toledo. Ohio. 
Oetrolt I.inured Oil Co., Detroit Michigan. 
I l\ Rv .ns ifc Co., I udiaaapoii*, lud. 
8t Paul ' ln*i*ed O I Co . St. Haul Htnu. 
Cincinnati |jlui5< r (*d Oil Co.* Cincinnati. tthio. 
RUBBER 
ROOFING. 
Cheapest—Best, Klreand Waterproof. Adapted for 
new or old roofs. Any body can apply. Write at-once 
for Bout circular INDIANA PAINT AND ROOUNG 
CO , Philadelphia. Pa, 
MANTELS 
and grates. 
Lowest prices Finest Goods-Largest Stock. Send 
.stamp for Illustrated Catalogue, SLATE MANTEL 
WORKS, Camden, N. J. 
wm 
PULVERIZER 
and CART COMBINED. 
Greatest ~ 'WHBB 
•/tbe'sipT ha.ea »0 per oent. of l»k*r, 
AND 
hotCun 
[ J iddreii^^M 
^ ^Grca t Wcftcrn^^ 
Wo.-k«, Pittsburgh, 
JU. 
OthUvff u« frm Ck 
Steel, Cast, and Chilled PLOWS. 
EQUIPPED WITH JOINTERS, 
E vaporating fruit 
Pull treatise on improved 
| methods, yields, profits, jnriwn ioABggg ^T 
^ aDci tfener»i statistic*. FR hh, " \ 1 
AMERICAN MAN’F’G CO.Yj U 
BoxB WAYKK8B0B0. PA. -» 
PIANO-PORTES. 
UNEQUALLED IN 
Tone, TonclijWortffiaiisliip & DnraMlity. 
*• WIIXIAM KYABE A CO. 
Nos. 204 and ‘AKi West Baltimore Street. Baltlmora. 
No. 113 Fifth Avenue, New York. 
***£t^^^ We will send you a watch or a chain 
Al BY axil, OH Kxruiisfe. < O. D., to he 
Zs~- /\V_!L examined before pay ingtuiymoney 
i audit notaatlstaetory,returned at 
t l—J X. —JutH our expense. We tnariulacture all 
i M\II 0UI ' watches and save you SO per 
VAA. Ift \ w«°ent. Catalogue of ihO styles free. 
\ Every Watch Warranted. Address 
STANDARD AMERICAN WATCH CO., 
PITTSBURGH, PA. 
M your own Bone, 
.Vleul, Oyster Sh 11*, 
OKlIItd Fluor su»d Corn 
In t he MA.ND MILL 
<F. Wilson’s Pateul). lOO per 
cent, more made In keeping poul¬ 
try. Also POWER MILLS and FARM 
FEED MILES. Circular* and Testimonials sent 
on application. WILSON BROS., Fusion, Pa. 
GOOD NEWS to 
LADIES! 
Greatest Inducements ever of¬ 
fered. Now’s your time to get up 
orders for our celebrated Tea* 
and ( 'otic. * and secure a beau 
tlftll Gold Baud or Moss Rose 
_ China Tea Set, or Han isome Dec¬ 
orated Go!a Baud Moss Rose Dinner Set. or Gold 
Rand Moss Decorate d I ollet -Set. (for full particulars 
address THE GREAT AMERICAN feA 1.0 . 
P. O. Box 289, 31 db 3U Vcey St.. New Y orl». 
TRIUMPH ENGINE. 
Especially adapted for purposes 
L requiring light power. Wrought 
Iron boIler8-te«te«l, in-pect- 
ed u d tunureil payable to 
the pitrchuser. Guaranteed 
3 as repre*ented. Ready to run 
i as soon as received. 
| a Housic Power, . t^vj.oo. 
tikj\\ 5 ” “ :YJO.no. 
Bain y 7 ” •' srsuo. 
Ery id “ •• 5 ado. 
Write to PAIGE M F’G CO., 
8ii8 A- 801 J nclxsou .Street. 
_ I) t I V L’^r I ■ 1 L i k 
THE 
GreatAmerican 
— T M 
THE GOLDEN BELT 
KANSAS LANDS 
STOCK RAISING 
Buffalo Grass I’as turn Summer ami Winter. 
•CORN and WHEAT 
-ALUN2 THE- 
KANSAS DIVISION U. P. R’WAY 
WOOL CROWING 
Unsurpassed for Climate, Grasses, Water 
FRUIT 
200,000,000 Bus. Corn. 30,000,000 Wheat. The best in the Eastern Market. 
Pamphlets and Maps free. B. McALLASIER. Land Commis'r, Kansas City, Mo 
“ - -” ~ —i 
ill A J^iV| !■ wi** "^)VER*300,000 IN ACTUAL USE 
WAdHtHi agents wanted. 
. ,-,1 _ a.rilV* 1 Ininrvto 
Will wacb Cleaner, Easier, and with Less InJjjryto 
Clothes than any other In the World \\e_cbaUen^ 
any manufacturvr tx. prodm” » barter VjasheL 
F.verv Mnrblnr YVarranted FIVE Yearn, 
and Batlsrfactlon Otwranteed Hie only _„ 
Washer that can tie clamped to any mzid I— . £ 
tub like u Wringer. Maao of lu.-ilinahlo Y 
iron jralvanl7jsd, *' id will oul last at, y two woolen /-j 
machines. A«riil* wanted. l.xrhieiveTerrl-// 
tory. Our agents all over tlioexvnutry are mnkmg 
from to $‘j«' pur n.ontii. Eetodlmw 5 ' 
Sample U> agenta, »:L Also our celebrated 
KEYSTONE*WRINGERS AT LOWEST WHOLESALE PRICES. 
nircular* ITe. Tufer to editor of this pai>er. Address F. F. ADAJIS & C O., Erie, Pa. _ 
THE SCIENTIFIC 
FORCE, 
COMBINATION 
and VISE 
t Especially for Farmers In do- 
i T, '~ i —tm Ing odd job* about the farm. 
TIME AND MONEY SAVED. 
P liS.iii,i,Zp> Rend for Illustrated Catalogue 
FI describing tho*c aud our Scl- 
q^y entitle Grinding Mill. 
THE FOOS MFC. CO. 
?S £ 
. *- CL. 
Ho g 
agio 
f W v Si 
5-e 
|-r S 
6 «e S3 _ 
C 2C 
= ift. t 
* a C 
ul 
1 
c 5 a ^ 
a « o 
sr k o 
e'i* ® 
Sj-gs o 
* u * o 
w 
bbbi o 
ooo o 
d for Catalogue. Sold bj all 
OTIOX THIS PAPEB. S, *£WS CAN Hardware Dealers. 
id ond flip result was Mini each editor immediately ordered an Extkkpkise Machine for 
family use, nil agreeing that they would rather pay the price asked for that Machine than 
